Hermes, Pointing: May I Sit There?

Hermes, pointing: May I sit there?

Apollo: That's my lap

Hermes: That doesn't answer my question, Apollo

Hermes: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Apollo: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Apollo: Is something burning?

Hermes: Just my love for you.

Apollo: Hermes, the toaster is on fire.

Apollo: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Hermes, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Hermes: I’m in love with you.

Apollo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Hermes: I know.

Apollo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Apollo: Hey Hermes can I get a sip of your water?

Hermes: It's not water.

Apollo: Vodka, I like your style!

Hermes: It's vinegar.

Apollo: Wh-Wha-

Hermes: It's vinegar, COWARD.