Speak Now

Speak Now

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Prompts - I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white-veil occasion, but you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl

Synopsis - When Loki is forced to marry a Princess you only have two options speak now or forever hold your peace.

Falling in love with a Prince of Asgard had never been you plan, of course it was a dream many around you had but no one was foolish enough to believe it could happen and yet here you were, head over heels for the Prince who made you feel like you were something more than just a servant, a helper to the palace, made you feel like you were the most important person in all the realms. 

It wasn’t easy to pinpoint the exact moment your relationship had shifted so drastically, had changed from just a way to blow off steam into what it had become, the two of you falling hard for each other. Not that it got acknowledged, how could it? You knew no matter how much you and Loki cared for one another, no matter how much love was between the two of you, nothing could ever come from it, it was something you thought about more often than you’d like because no matter how hard you tried to push it away it always lingered.

Despite the consequences, despite how forbidden your relationship was, despite how nothing could ever come from it, you and Loki were determined to make every moment count. Now it wasn’t just about sex, it wasn’t about sharing a bottle of something to forget your troubles, instead it was about sneaking off to a quiet corner of Asgard, far, far away from anybody else and stealing magical moments together.

Some days the two of you went exploring, despite living on Asgard your whole life you had seen so little of the planet and Loki was the best guide, knowing all the secret spots that hadn’t been explored for so long. Other days Loki had set up picnics by the lakes, sometimes the two of you were content to stroll through the hidden woods or find a patch of grass and bask in the sun, you held against Loki’s chest as his hand absentmindedly played with yours. Some days you were more than happy to stay in your chambers at the palace, safely locked away from the outside world and tucked up against each other, so tangled together it was hard to see where you started and Loki ended, the day passed in a blur of softly spoken words and gentle kisses.

You knew you shouldn’t have let yourself grow attached, knew it was dangerous to fall in love with the God and yet the thing was you couldn’t stop yourself from loving him, couldn’t contain the feelings you felt. You could only stand by and feel as they grew stronger and stronger with each stolen meeting. It wasn’t spoken aloud though, Loki knew how you felt just as you knew how he felt and that was enough, it had to be enough because there couldn’t be anything else.

You knew he wasn’t yours, no matter how easy it was to pretend in the moments you had together and yet when the news broke you felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and immediately felt the hollow emptiness from where it had once been, felt your blood go cold and you had to fight to stay standing, to not let your knees give out. Tears filled your eyes but you had to blink them away, you couldn’t let them fall until you were back in your chambers, alone. 

“Prince Loki of Asgard is to be married to Princess Astra of Svartalfheim on the eve of the sixth day.” 

The announcement caused an immediate reaction around you, people cheered and celebrated and you had never felt more alone surrounded amongst so many. Loki wasn’t yours, he had never been. 

As you pushed your way through the celebrating crowds you couldn’t help the small spark of anger that seemed to ignite in you, a sudden emotion that contrasted so harshly with the emptiness it caused to pause for a moment before continuing to make your way to your chambers. You couldn’t help but feel betrayed, sure you knew that you and Loki had never belonged to each other, that the many months you’d spent at each other's side didn’t mean anything to anyone else but you thought they meant something to him. You hated that you’d had to hear about the news just as every other person had, you thought you at least deserved to be warned, to hear it from the man himself and yet when you had seen him only that morning he made no mention of his upcoming big day.

The second you entered the safety of your rooms your back hit the closed door and you couldn’t stay standing any longer, sitting on the floor, back against the door as the tears finally flooded down your cheeks, sobs leaving you and if anyone could hear the sobs coming from you they would send a chill down their spine. They were the kind of sobs nobody ever wanted to hear, gut wrenching and ones that spoke of true loss, of having the one person you cared deeply for ripped away from you, the person you loved snatched from your grasp.

You couldn’t say just how long you stayed curled against the door, tears finally seeming to run dry and you could do nothing but sit there, staring ahead, unseeing as your mind continued to play the news on a continuous loop that was sure to drive you insane. 

At some point you managed to drag yourself up, managed to set yourself down on your sofa but couldn’t do more than that. You couldn’t bring yourself to deal with the news, couldn’t bring yourself to do more than sit and think about everything, about how foolish you were, how somebody like you, somebody who was nothing in the eyes of royalty, had fallen for the Prince himself. It was a foolish, reckless thing and yet even with all the hurt and anger and betrayal you felt, you knew you wouldn’t take a single second of it back, wouldn’t change a single moment of your time together and if all you had left was the memories of Loki then that had to be enough. 

The frantic knocking at your door shouldn’t have startled you as much as it did but you were so absorbed in your own thoughts that you jumped at the noise. There was only one person it could be and you hesitated before standing only to stop at the door, hand on the handle debating if you should open it.

“Please Y/N,” You heard Loki call softly and had to clasp a hand over your mouth, somehow just hearing his voice was enough to bring on a fresh wave of tears. “Please darling, let me explain.”

Loki waited a moment before sighing so softly that it couldn’t be heard from your side of the door. He leaned against the wall next to your door as he began talking again, knowing that everything had fallen to pieces. How had he been at your side only a few hours earlier, easy smiles as you basked in the soft glow of the morning light, soft words spoken between you and even softer kisses shared before the two of you were forced up by your duties.

“You have to believe me, darling, I didn’t know.” Loki swore and you couldn’t help the small sob that escaped you as you listened to him. “I had no idea, not until I was called into the throne room, not until I was being introduced to her, to my new wife.” 

The last three words were snarled out, his tone shifting from that soft, light one he always seemed to use around you to one you knew was usually reserved for arguments with Odin. It gave you hope that he truly was clueless to the news, made you think he did treasure your time together as much as you did.

“You had to know I tried to fight it, to fight for us, but it’s no use, not against Father.” He sighed and frowned, you, yourself, sniffing as you tried to still your tears. “It isn’t even to secure peace between our Kingdoms, not that that would make this better but at least it would be for something. No, this is entirely Father’s doing, another way for him to control my life. I didn’t want this, my darling, if you believe nothing else I’ve said, please believe that.”

You did believe it, you had to believe it because if you didn’t then that meant that every moment you had spent together, every moment you held close to your heart had meant nothing to him. With watery eyes you took a deep breath and pulled the door open causing Loki to look up at you through wide, apologetic eyes.

Not caring about any of the palace stuff who could be loitering around their chambers Loki pulled you into his arms, the feeling of safety and warmth and home so overwhelming that tears slid down your cheeks again much to your annoyance, you were so fed up with crying and yet you couldn’t stop them from falling.

Loki held you close, tucking you under his chin and refusing to let go even as he walked the two of you into your chambers, ignoring the sofa and leading the two of you to your bed. He didn’t waste any time pulling you down, shifting you against him so you were both comfortable as you buried your face in his chest, fists clenching the fabric of his clothes as you cried and he hated he could do little else but hold you close, murmuring soft apologises as he waited for your tears to calm.

“Must you get married?” You asked him quietly, well aware of the answer and asking it anyway.

“I’m afraid I have no say in the matter.” He told you with an unamused chuckle, frowning when you looked up at him with teary eyes. “Believe me, darling, if it were up to me it’d be you walking down that aisle this weekend.”

The words that were meant to comfort you sent an ache through your chest, if it were up to you it’d be you too but both of you were powerless. Somehow Loki was a Prince and he held as much control as you, a simple commoner who happened to work in the palace. 

“I wish it were me too.” You whispered to him before burying your face in his chest, holding him tightly as if to ingrain the feeling of him into your mind because soon enough that would be all you had of him, memories, and the ghost of him against your skin doomed to haunt you for the rest of your days.

Loki’s own arms tightened around you. When he had first made his way down to your chambers he had been furious, people moved as he stalked through the corridors as he seethed at the sudden news. News, he had been informed, that had been announced to the whole Asgard as he himself heard it and all he could think of was you hearing it, thinking of the betrayal you must have been feeling thinking he had known. Now as he held you he only felt weak, he wished he could stand up to Odin, wished he could stop this marriage before it could begin but he was powerless, there was nothing he could do.

Hours passed between the two of you in silence. There were so many words that needed to be said and yet neither of you wanted to break the silence, neither of you wanted to acknowledge the truth of the situation. Here in your chambers it was easy to pretend that the outside world wasn’t there, like Loki’s soon to be wife wasn’t outside of your doors somewhere. 

But the truth was she was and in just four days the two of them would be married and soon enough to Loki you would be nothing but a distant memory whereas to you Loki would always be your everything. Loki had a duty as Prince and if Odin demanded him to marry a Princess then how could Loki argue with that.

You had always known nothing would, nothing could come of your relationship with Loki but you had always hoped for more time, hoped something would change that allowed you to keep Loki to yourself. He was a Prince though and Princes didn’t marry people like you, they married Princesses, beautiful Princesses who grew up in palaces, surrounded by every luxury someone like you could only dream about.

And yet Loki had still chosen you, he had told you he’d rather it be you walking down the aisle. You had nothing to offer him, you weren’t anything special, you had no status, no family riches or power and yet he still wanted you. He was here with you now instead of with the Princess. 

You pulled away from his chest, just far enough so that you could look up at him, watching as he smiled softly down at you before he brought a hand up to brush a stray piece of hair away from your face, his hand drifting to cup your cheek, thumb brushing delicately under your eye and you couldn’t help but lean into the touch.

“I wish it was you.” He repeated his words from earlier softly, so softly that if you hadn’t been this close to him you would have missed them. 

Instead of replying you leaned up and closed the short distance between the two of you, brushing your lips against his before he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss but keeping it soft. His hand stayed on your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin every so often and you only pulled away when the need for air became too much, resting your foreheads together as you caught your breath.

It wasn’t fair to say it, not now. The two of you both knew how you felt, those three words didn’t need to be spoken, not when you’d both known how much more it would hurt to leave each other once those words had been said but you couldn’t just not say them. You had to say them out loud at least once, he had to hear the words from your lips, it wasn’t enough for him to just know, you had to say them.

“I love you, Loki.” You whispered the confession, eyes still closed from the kiss. 

Loki was silent for a moment and you opened your eyes, catching sight of the smile on his face, one that spoke of amazement, of overwhelming happiness at hearing those words before you were closing them again as Loki leaned down and kissed you. This time the kiss was deeper, it was wilder and messier but it didn’t go farther than that though it took both of you longer to pull away this time, the two of you panting for air as you finally separated.

“Darling, I love you,” Loki whispered back, leaning down to peck your lips a few times before pulling away but not going far, “I love you more than you could ever know. Knowing you, sharing our time together has been the best part of my life and it kills me that it won’t be you walking down that aisle. My heart aches when I think of agreeing to marry her when my heart belongs only to you. No matter what happens, it will always belong to you.”

You refused to cry, didn’t think you had anymore tears left in you but felt yourself choke up at his words. Loki didn’t give you a chance to react more than that before he was leaning down to kiss you again and you tried to memorise everything about it, how it was messy and hurried but soft, his hand still caressing your cheek as the other wrapped around your waist, holding you in place, the feeling of his hair running through your fingers as your other hand gripped the fabric of his clothes.

All too soon he was pulling away, letting his forward rest against yours as he looked at you, seemingly having the same idea of carving this moment into his mind, not knowing the next time you’d get to steal even a second alone together, not knowing if you ever would again once he walked out of your door. 

“I have to go.” He told you apologetically and you took a breath, swallowing against the lump in your throat as you nodded. “I love you, my darling. No matter what is to come, remember that I love you.”

“I love you too.” You managed to choke out and he smiled at you sadly, leaning down for one last kiss, slow and soft and lasting for an eternity but ending too quickly.

Watching Loki leave was one of the hardest things you’d had to do until it wasn’t. How could Loki leaving be the hardest thing when the Queen called upon you and other trusted members of the palace staff to help her plan the wedding?

Here you were, broken with a shattered heart, barely holding it together only to be told you had to plan the wedding of the man you were in love with. It felt like a giant slap in the face as you were forced into the same room as the Princess, forced to watch as she giggled and twirled her hair, gushing about Loki and their future, of their love.

It took everything in you to not react, to force yourself to smile and nod, to force yourself to do as the Princess commanded, as she expected from somehow so very beneath her. You were involved in so many aspects of the wedding plans, responsible for making sure the bride was kept happy whilst you tried to block out your own feelings, feelings you would only allow yourself to feel and focus on when you were alone in your chambers, spending night after night alone instead of curled up in Loki’s arms.

You already disliked the Princess but being in her presence for most of the day actually gave you a real reason to not like her. She was, without a doubt, the most entitled person you’d ever met, always demanding something and God’s forbid something wasn’t done to her standards. 

The day of the wedding finally arrived and you had seen very little of Loki. You had expected to see him quite often as you were assigned to the Princess and yet he seemed to be avoiding her, something she complained about often but you couldn’t help but smile as she ranted, a smug sense of satisfaction at knowing Loki wasn’t playing along with the wedding out of the public eye.

You walked into the room where the bridesmaids and her family were gathered in gowns that, quite frankly, were terrible. Considering the fact they were royalty you would have thought they’d be dressed impeccably and instead each person in the room wore dresses that didn’t seem right for the occasion in colours that didn’t complement them.

The Princess was yelling at one of the bridesmaids causing you to barely suppress an eye roll. You had no love for any of them, as you spent time with them you quickly realised where the Princess got her rudeness and entitlement from.

Loki deserved much better than being forced to marry her.

The Princess herself looked no better, her dress reminded you of a pastry, one of the fancy ones you’d served at many of the royal events. It seemed to swallow her small frame up, puffing out and making her look strange. Not the type of dress that would complement the suit Loki would be in at all and yet it seemed fitting for them to not complement each other, the two were so different that you couldn’t help but sigh softly, Loki shouldn’t be marrying her, she was completely the wrong girl for him but what could you do, it wasn’t like you could stop the wedding.

That thought had you tensing, standing straight as your shoulders squared back. You couldn’t stop the wedding, except you technically could. Even royal weddings asked if anybody had any reason the two should not be married and you had a whole list of them.

But you couldn’t stop a royal wedding, right?

The thought had planted itself in your head, the seed already beginning to grow until it was all you could think about and as you stood of to the side you couldn’t help but lose yourself in the daydream of actually stopping the wedding, of seeing Loki’s face when he realised he didn’t have to marry the dreadful Princess. 

As the Princess snapped your name you shook your head, forcing yourself back to reality, a reality where you would never speak up, where you were not brave enough to stand up in front of the massive crowd that had already begun to gather, people from all the realms coming together for the wedding. 

There was no way you could stop it.

And yet when you found yourself standing in the throne room, eyes locked on Loki as everyone waited for the bride to come out you wanted nothing more than to stop this whole event. He looked absolutely breath-taking, looking like the epitome of what a Prince should look like, the black suit lined with dark green detailing, nothing but the finest and richest fabric for the youngest Prince.

Loki’s eyes had immediately found you in the crowd and his mask slipped for a few seconds as his face filled with sadness, with sorrow and longing, looking for all the world like he’d rather be anywhere else. You wished he was anywhere else too, probably hidden away by your side. There was nothing you could do though except force a smile onto your face that probably came out much sadder than you intended, unable to put on a brave face for him.

Music filled the room and everybody rose from their seats, your eyes lingered on Loki for a second longer before you tore your gaze away to look at the Bride. She waved to the crowds and you barely refrained from rolling your eyes and you turned back to Loki just in time to catch the blink and you’d miss it smirk he threw your way.

Knowing he wished it was you in her place made watching her harder somehow, knowing that he was being forced into a marriage he didn’t want, especially when he had found the person he really did want to spend the rest of his days with. It made the idea of you speaking up more and more appealing but unfortunately that would have to remain a daydream.

Tears filled your eyes as the ceremony started, hearing their words, the Princess' eager and high pitched voice spoke of love and happiness whereas Loki kept his voice neutral, careful not to show his true feelings but not giving anyone the satisfaction of seeming happy with the situation. As he spoke words that had been written for him and approved by Odin he kept glancing at you, wishing he were standing up here with you, speaking true words of love and hope and of a future together. 

“We stand before these two people today to celebrate the bond and the love they share. We witness the beginning of a long and happy future, this day their promise and commitment to each other, a promise to grow old together, to stand at each other's side forever, to help each other grow stronger. There will be challenges but nothing their love cannot overcome.” 

The words of the officiant had you choking back tears and Loki allowed himself another moment of weakness as the officiant spoke of his future with Astra, let his mask fall again as he looked down, tears filling his eyes as he glanced at you. He saw you were holding it together as well as he was and wished things were different, wished some miracle would happen to get him out of this.

Gods, how he wished it were you.

You had to drown the man's words out, had to look away from the officiant, from the Princess and from Loki himself, his grief sending more pain to your heart as you tried to blink away your tears. When you glanced up you had to take a shaky breath as you met Loki’s teary gaze, the God looked miserable and heartbroken. This wasn’t what Loki deserved, he was the best person you knew, under all his posturing and defences he had the best heart of anyone you’d ever met and Odin forcing him into this made you furious.

“If there is anybody in this room that objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The officiant said and you took a sharp breath as your eyes snapped over to the man. 

Loki had looked back down at this point, missing the look on your face that showed the debate you were having in your head. You only had a split moment to make a decision, stay silent and let Loki marry this girl who wanted nothing good from him, allow him to waste his days in a loveless marriage or speak now and give him the chance to leave, to come with you. Sure, it’d be embarrassing standing in front of all these people, objecting to a royal wedding but if that was the cost of Loki and your happiness then maybe it was worth it.

The only question was should you speak now or could you forever hold your peace?

Before you could even register what you were doing you were pushing yourself from your seat, gasps spread across the room as every person turned to look at you, horrified looks on each of their faces but you didn’t care, you didn’t see them. 

All you saw was Loki’s head shoot up, his eyes widening as he looked over at you, the sad, grief filled look wiped from his face replaced by a weary hopefulness and you knew in that moment you had made the right decision.

“I object.” You said, more gasps spread across the room, Odin turned to look at you with a furious look whilst Frigga had a hint of a smile on her face. Loki’s face was still the only one you were focused on watching as the biggest, brightest smile spread across his face, lighting his whole being up and you couldn’t help but smile back, missing the glare from the Princess. 

“I am not the type of person who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion, not even a little bit. I’m nothing more than some commoner who has no right to be standing here interrupting this wedding but Loki, you’re not the type of man who should be marrying the wrong girl.” The Princess let out an insulted noise of protest but neither of you paid her any mind, completely absorbed in each other as everyone continued to stare at you. “Don’t say yes to her, not if you don’t love her. Come with me instead, I’ll meet you at the palace doors and we can go wherever you want so long as you don’t say yes.”

The room was deathly quiet as every head turned to Loki as they waited for his response, surely he would tell this delusional fool that he loved the Princess and to have you thrown out for daring to object to the joyous occasion.

Instead Loki’s smile got even wider and everyone in the room gawked at him as he spoke.

“I won’t say yes to her, not when my heart belongs to you, not when you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my days with, the one I want to grow with. You are the only one for me. I’m so glad you were around, so unbelievably happy you were here when he said speak now. I don’t need you to meet me at the palace doors, we can leave together.” Loki said, his words causing you to grin as everyone looked between the two of you in utter disbelief, the Princess finally snapped back to herself and started protesting loudly, throwing her bouquet down and demanding Loki marry her.

Loki ignored her and walked away from the aisle, stopping as Odin grabbed his arm. There was only a moment but your heart stuttered, terrified at what Odin would do but Loki just shook him off and continued walking up the aisle. As he got to you he held a hand out and you beamed at him, taking his hand, and shuffling past the guests in your way.

All eyes were on the two of you as you left but you didn’t notice or care and the two of you radiated happiness as you walked out of the doors of the palace, only stopping when you saw Heimdall stood by a hovercraft, not looking the least bit surprised to see the two of you.

“Had a feeling you’d be needing this.” Heimdall said and you watched as Loki rolled his eyes but there was no malice behind the action and his smile stayed on.

“Of course you did.” He snarked causing Heimdall to laugh before gesturing for the two of you to get into the vehicle. “Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. I am glad you chose her.” Heimdall told him honestly, sending a wink your way causing you to laugh as you looked up at Loki who made his way to the front of the craft, ready to pilot it.

“As I am.” Loki smiled softly at you and the two of you said goodbye to the man just in time for a flood of people to leave the palace.

Loki grinned at you before getting the two of you as far away from the palace as quickly as possible. It wasn’t long before you pieced together where Loki was taking you, it was a place the two of you had found two months into seeing each other, a small cabin far from anywhere else. The place hadn’t been used for many years but you and Loki had spent many afternoons cleaning it up and many more nights there together. 

You couldn’t think of a better place to start the next chapter of your life with Loki, one that you knew would be filled with all the things the officiant had spoken about, one to be filled with love and trust and happiness, one where you could grow together, to better each other and start your future together.

You were really glad you had trusted your gut and spoke up, knowing that you never would have been able to hold your peace, not when it meant robbing both you and Loki of the future you both deserved.

_________

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Easier With You

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Prompt - Javier taking care of a sick reader.

Request - Hope you feel better soon, @headinthecloudssblog

When you woke up you immediately knew it was going to be a bad day. You felt terrible, your stomach churned and your head ached but you still managed to drag yourself out of bed, having to stand still for a moment as you fought through a wave of dizziness and took a deep and shaky breath as you made your way to the bathroom.

It was a struggle to do much once you were in there, you spent a solid three minutes propping yourself up using the sink and staring at your reflection. You looked as good as you felt but forced yourself to brush your teeth half-heartedly before splashing some water against your sweaty face, groaning at the coldness, and shivering as your body couldn’t pick a temperature. 

You dragged yourself back to your room, cursing Pablo Escobar personally as you forced yourself to change from your comfortable pyjamas into something more appropriate for work. Every part of your body ached as you changed and you knew you were going to be late with the amount of breaks you took whilst changing.

Eventually you managed to get dressed, the water you had splashed on your face only moments before was useless as sweat pooled at your forehead and you felt like you had just run a marathon in the Colombian heat. 

You knew Javier would be knocking at your door soon, surprised your boyfriend hadn’t already but he was never one for getting to work on time anyway. You took the time to sit on your sofa, letting your head rest against it as you fought against another wave of nausea. 

You were terrible at being sick, some people were able to power through it but you had never been able to do that. When you were sick you seemed to feel it all at once, it spread through your whole body, your temperature shifted between hot and cold like somebody was flipping a switch, your stomach felt heavy as you tried to fight the urge to be sick, your entire body just seemed to hurt and all you wanted to do was curl up in bed and stay there until you felt better.

With Pablo Escobar still evading your every attempt to catch him though you knew you had to push aside your own sickness and power through it.

Finally there was a knock on your door but as you stood to answer it the world seemed to shift around you and you had to catch yourself against the wall, vision fading to black as you tried to force down another wave of sickness.

“Whoa, easy,” you heard somebody say faintly but the words barely registered in your head and it felt like somebody had stuffed your ears with cotton wool. 

You could feel hands on you but didn’t panic, your brain was aware enough to recognize Javier’s touch and you let him take control, let him guide your body and by the time your vision came back you found yourself sitting back on the sofa with Javier’s worried eyes staring at you.

“You good?” He asked, frowning in concern as you nodded, finally able to hear properly. “You don’t look so hot, baby.” He told you and you rolled your eyes before finding even that hurt and instead you groaned miserably watching as he smiled sympathetically at you.

Javier reached over, the back of his hand pressing against your sweaty forehead and you let out a soft whine, his hands seemed freezing against the heat coming from you. Javier’s frown deepened as he moved his hand to brush some hair that had stuck to your forehead back.

“You’re not going to work.” He told you, voice soft but firm, fully expecting the protest that came from you.

“Have to,” You told him and Javier winced at how dry your throat sounded. “Gotta catch Escobar.” 

The words had him smiling at you softly, face showing how completely and utterly gone he was for you. He brushed his fingers through your hair and you couldn’t help but lean into the touch, Javier’s hand seemingly being the cure to the aches you felt.

“Escobar can wait, something tells me we’re not catching him today.” He told you with a chuckle, watching as you frowned at him but didn’t protest more than that.

You must have been feeling terrible.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” Javier said softly and you let him help you stand up, Javier carrying most of your weight and practically carrying you to your bed as your feet refused to cooperate. 

Javier sat you down on the bed, chuckling as you whined about not being able to lay down yet. He murmured something about getting you into more comfortable clothes and quickly found one of his shirts in your closets, well actually he found way more than one shirt and it just confirmed his theory that you had been stealing them, not that he minded in the slightest, he loved seeing you in his clothes.

It was slow work getting you out of your work clothes and into his shirt but he managed with little help from you before he shifted you until you were in bed, propped up against your pillows.

“Stay awake for me, mi querida.” He murmured to you, cupping your cheek in his hand and shifting you so you looked up at him. “I’ll be right back, just gonna get you some water, yeah?”

You sniffed as you nodded at him, watching as he left, throwing you a worried glance as he did. It was less than a minute later that he returned with a glass of water for you, holding it to your lips for you as your hands shook slightly.

The ice cold water felt like heaven against your sore throat and you tried to glug the drink down but Javier moved it from you after you’d had a few mouthfuls causing you to whine.

“You’ll make yourself sick, cariño.” He told you and you knew he was right, you could feel the water already sitting heavily on your stomach. “Go back to sleep, Y/N, I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

You nodded, smiling at him weakly before shifting over in the bed despite your sore muscles and tugged Javier’s hand until he took the hint and smiled down at you. He slipped out of his jacket and shoes before he climbed into the bed with you. You immediately cuddled into his chest and Javier didn’t hesitate to wrap you in his arms, running his fingers up and down your back in a way that had you relaxing into him, already feeling better than you had only half an hour before.

It didn’t take you long to fall asleep and Javier was more than content to lay with you for a while, checking your temperature every so often and frowning when you let out a soft noise that sounded painful even as you slept. 

You’d been asleep for an hour or two when Javier carefully slipped out of bed, watching as you scrunched your nose at the loss of him and he was quick to put a pillow in his place, smiling as you cuddled into it. 

He knew you wouldn’t be able to eat much but there was something his dad used to cook for him when he got sick as a boy, it always seemed to do the trick and made him feel better and so he went about rummaging around in your kitchen, finding most of what he needed but had to go to his own apartment to grab some other ingredients. 

He tried to keep the banging and clanging down as much as possible, adding pinches of this here and a handful of that there, picking up your phone as the phone cooked and called Murphy to tell him that you were sick so neither of you would be showing up. 

You slept for another forty or so minutes before you woke up again, this time it was to the smell of something good drifting through your apartment. You lifted your head and found you weren’t as dizzy as you had been before but still needed a moment after you sat up. 

You could hear Javier faintly in the kitchen and followed the sound, leaning against the door frame as you watched him move around your kitchen with ease. It was a rare treat when Javier cooked, he was good at it but with your work schedules cooking wasn’t always an option and both of you had grown accustomed to fast food and quick, easy meals.

Javier cooking in your kitchen was a sight you could grow used to and you wished you were well enough to join him, the two of you moving around each other as you cooked an actual meal. Unfortunately you still felt terrible even with the dizziness having faded a bit. 

“What are you doing up?” Javier said as he turned around and saw you propping yourself up in the doorway, immediately abandoning the spoon he held to stir whatever it what in the pot to make his way over to you, his hand coming up to your forehead and wincing at how cold you felt now compared to the heat that was coming off you before your nap.

You leaned into Javier’s touch and he smiled before moving his hand from your forehead, watching as you leaned closer to him to rest your head against his shoulder. Javier hummed as he wrapped his arms around you, brushing his hand through the knots in your hair.

“Feeling any better?” He asked softly, frowning as you shook your head against him. “I know you won’t want to eat but trust me this will make you better in no time.” He promised, smiling as you pulled back to wrinkle your nose at him.

“If I eat I’ll be sick and I really don’t want to be sick right now.” You told him quietly, your throat not having improved either.

“I know you don’t, you don’t have to eat much but it’s the best cure.” Javier told you, smiling down at you before he kissed your cold forehead and led you into the living room, placing you on the sofa before he wrapped a blanket around you.

“What is it?” You asked him, watching as he walked back to the kitchen and added something else to the pot before turning the heat down and going to one of your cupboards to pull a glass out.

“It’s an old secret family recipe.” He grinned at you as he filled the glass with water and brought it over to you, holding it to your lips as he had before. “Sip it.” He reminded you and you did as he said, not wanting to be sick, especially when you knew he was going to have you eat whatever he had cooked up.

Javier sat with you on the sofa, you tucked under his arm and cuddled against his chest as you waited for the soup to be done. The TV played some random movie, the sound so quiet you could barely hear it but you weren’t complaining. You were more than happy to listen to Javier hum softly as his fingers traced random shapes into your skin.

You didn’t know how long the two of you sat cuddled together for, Javier’s humming had lulled you into a light sleep and you groaned as you felt him pull away from you but he silenced you with a soft kiss to your head. You forced your eyes open, blinking hard a few times before your vision stopped being bleary and watched him move around the kitchen again.

It wasn’t long before he was back by your side, whatever soup he had in the bowl smelled even better now and your stomach rumbled even with the nausea you felt. Javier smiled at you, holding the bowl, and putting some of the soup on a spoon for you, already having made sure it wasn’t too hot.

You smiled at him before you opened your mouth letting Javier feed you. His face lit up as you let out a soft moan, even with how terrible you felt, with how much you didn’t want to eat, it was incredible, no change to anything else Javier had cooked for you.

In all the time you had known Javier, when you had first been friends to when you were dating you had never been sick around him before. You hadn’t known what to expect from him, a part of you suspected he might've just let you be until you were better but this was so much better. Javier didn’t complain, he seemed more than happy to take care of you, to make sure you had hot food and a cold drink to soothe your throat, happily cuddling you even at the risk of getting sick himself.

You had never been good at being sick but having Javier look after you made it a little bit easier to handle.

-

Javier Peña Taglist -

@mandomover, @paintlavillered, @myguiltypleasures21 , @alexxavicry, @sirachaee, @bubsonnobx 

A World We Can Call Our Own

Click here for my masterlist.

Prompts - anon - 79 - “Do you remember when we skipped school and found this place?” “Yeah, I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.” & 91 - ‘Would you lay with me and just forget the world?’ & 99 - Interlocking pinky fingers.

The grounds of Hogwarts were no strangers to explorers, excited children trying to discover all the hiding places and secrets of the both the castle and its grounds. Yet despite the decades and decades worth of children trying to discover each hiding spot there were still more places than could be counted that had yet to be found.

There were places that should never have even been findable to witches and wizards, places that were so well hidden it should have been impossible to find and yet somehow, somehow two second year students had found one of the grounds best kept hideaways. Not only had they found it so many years ago but they returned often enough that it became their own space.

One of them was having a bad day? The two of them could be found together, backs against the beautifully green grass littered with pastel colours. One of them received good news? The two of them could be found together, huge grins on their faces as they sat close enough together that their shoulders brushed and an unmentioned blush spread across both their cheeks. One of them was struggling with a class? The two of them could be found together, books spread out on the grass, ink stains on their hands and their heads bent together as the other patiently talked through the material.

The land that hadn’t been walked since before Hogwarts was built had now been claimed by two teenagers who shared every special moment together in the place that had become theirs.

“What’s wrong?” You heard James ask but didn’t look away from the letter in your hands as you sat on the ledge of the astronomy tower, feeling James take a seat next to you.

You didn’t answer him, you couldn’t answer him so instead you handed over the latest letter of disappointment from your parents and continued to sit in the silence that seemed less suffocating now that James was sitting beside you.

“I’m sorry,” James frowned as he read, hating how your parents were able to bring your mood down with one little letter - between yours and Sirius’ parents nobody was winning parent of the year awards.

“Don’t be,” you sighed, turning so that your head rested on his shoulder, smiling when his head softly lay against yours. “You think I’d be used to this, right? I mean I’ve been getting these letters since first year.”

“I’m sorry.” James said again and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you shook your head slightly.

For years you’d let the letters and the arguments drag you down all because your family saw you as a disappointment for being sorted into Gryffindor and for years James had been the one to comfort you every time without fail.

“Come on,” He said after several moments of silence, nudging his shoulder against yours as he lifted his head. You looked up at him questioningly, squinting against the sun that shone brightly behind him causing him to grin down at you as he held a hand out for you.

You didn’t hesitate to slide your hand into his and let him pull you up. Despite the fact hand holding wasn’t a new thing between you and James, hell James had been holding your hand since your first day at Hogwarts as he watched you watch name after name and house after house get announced. The fear was clear across your face and James held your hand right up until he was forced to let go and took it straight back in his as you sat down next to him, pale faced and terrified. Despite all that, the familiar feeling of his hand in yours never failed to make your stomach fill with a thousand butterflies.

You let James lead you down the many steps of the astronomy tower and all the way through the castle until you were heading out of the front entrance, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips as you realised exactly where he was taking you. It was no surprise of course, the two of you practically lived there. It was a surprise that other people had never found the place that had become so special to you, a place where there were no expectations, no family rules and honour, nothing but a place to just be yourself with James.

It didn’t matter to either of you that lunch was almost over and you had double potions in only a few minutes. The only thing that mattered was being together in a place that hid you away from the rest of the world, a place where only the two of you existed.

The walk to your quiet corner of the world was long but peaceful and the two of you took your time, climbing up rocky hills and ducking under untamed vines, hands never leaving each other as you walked side by side. Neither of you said anything but unlike the silence back at the astronomy tower, this silence was nice, it was comfortable. This silence was the kind of silence few people ever got to experience, a silence where no words needed to be spoken, where the silence didn’t need to be filled because the others presence was enough.

It was the kind of silence that came with years worth of friendship, the kind of silence that came with years worth of affection and years worth of feelings that blossomed every single day.

You and James had been fast friends, James immediately pulling you into his carriage on the train, misinterpreting the fear on your face for first day nerves rather than fears of disownment but still you had let yourself be distracted by him, let his smile soothe you and his words push the fear away as you laughed along with what he said.

That first night in the common room, long after everyone had gone to bed you remained downstairs, sitting on the floor with your back pressed to the sofa. It wasn’t until James joined you, with no words to make you laugh or a smile to make you giggle, that a single tear fell down your face. James didn’t offer false words of comfort, instead he sat with you in silence, not awkward or uneasy but comfortable and despite the fact that no words were exchanged that night you knew James Potter was going to be your best friend.

And you were right, Merlin, how right you were.

James Potter was your best friend, inseparable from first year onwards and it wasn’t a shock to anyone as you confessed to your closest friends outside of each other that you liked the other. You remembered clearly sitting in the girls dorm, everyone sat on their beds talking about boys and when they turned to you they didn’t need your flustered confession to know that you had feelings for James, just like Sirius, Remus and Peter didn’t need James to tell them that he liked you.

It was quite possibly the worst kept secret at Hogwarts.

Yet years went by and still neither you or James were brave enough to bring the topic up. It was almost an unspoken agreement to keep things the way they were because it was enough, the bond you had with each other was rare, it was something that most people spent their whole lives looking for and few truly found. Why risk messing with something that was already perfect?

Of course, that was easy to think but some days it was almost suffocating how badly you wanted James. How easy it would be to lean over and press your lips to his and sometimes you moved to do it so casually that it was hard to stop yourself. It was a position James too had found himself in more times than he could even recall at this point.

It was how he’d found himself in the boy’s bedroom, coming up with a plan with the others. A plan that would see the two of you finally together because James couldn’t deal with another year of keeping his feelings to himself. He couldn’t deal with another year of sitting in the common room, fire blazing in front of the sofas, his closest friends surrounding him and you tucked up beneath his arm, head resting on his chest and on occasion falling asleep where you lay.

And they had come up with a plan. It was a good plan too, one involving a trip to Hogsmeade and ending with the two of you together. But for some reason as he spoke through it with his friends, something didn’t feel right about it and now as he walked through the opening of his place with you he realised exactly what it was that was wrong.

How could he ask you out anywhere but the safe haven that seemed to have been created solely for the two of you?

The trees stood tall, each of them blocking the outside world away without making either of you feel closed in. The beautiful pastel pinks that hung over top of you from the weeping cherry tree, the pink blending in with the greens and the purples from the jacaranda tree. There was a clearing through the trees that seemed to stretch on for miles, beautifully green grass turning into crystal clear water well off into the distance.

Despite the amount of times you’d walked over the flowers that seemed to cover the grass, despite how many times you had both lay against the soft ground, the flowers sat perfectly, no proof that they had ever been disrupted.

What better place was there for James to finally, finally, ask you out?

Now all that was left to do was figure out how to make his move.

The two of you quickly found yourself in a familiar position, laying next to each other, eyes on the sky that could be seen despite the mess of trees. A position that right now was exactly what you needed because there was no better cure than laying with James and forgetting about the rest of the world.

“Do you remember,” You finally spoke softly, continuing to stare up ahead even as James’ head turned in your direction, looking at a face he had long since memorised, “when we skipped school and found this place?”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you listened to James laugh. It was a sound you pulled from him easily and you were glad for it because the sound never failed to send a warm feeling through you.

“Yeah,” James answered, a bright smile on his own face as he nodded over to one of the trees not too far away, watching as you began to laugh too. “I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.”

“I wouldn’t say I was impressed.” You told him, turning your gaze to the tree, the memory of a twelve year old James insisting that he could climb the tall tree to pluck a flower that bloomed from it.

Of course he hadn’t been able to do it, instead of watching him retrieve the flower, you watched as he stood tall on the tree branch, ignoring your calls to be careful, only to lose his footing and end up tumbling backwards off the branch and landing on the floor with a sickening crunch.

“You were impressed.” James told you, trying to maintain his serious expression but a side eyed glance from you had him grinning despite himself. “I know you were impressed that I managed to grab the flower.”

At that you couldn’t stop the smile on your face softening as you remembered the rest of the memory from that day because the idiot hadn’t even seemed bothered about the pain, hadn’t seemed to care that he had just broken his leg. No, instead he grinned up at you and held a slightly crumpled white flower in his fist out to you.

A flower you still kept safely tucked away in your trunk to this day.

“I still have it, you know?” You told him, turning away from the tree to look at him, watching as his grin fell and his eyes widened.

“You kept it?” He asked, voice quiet as he turned so he faced you completely, supporting his weight on one arm and watching as you nodded.

“You broke your leg getting it for me, of course I kept it.” You watched as a disbelieving smile made its way onto his face and he let out a huff of laughter as he looked at you in amazement.

He was so utterly and irretrievably in love with you.

And just like that all plans went out of the window as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back, moving your lips against his felt as natural as anything, it felt like it was something you had been doing for years.

It was definitely something you should have been doing for years because as much as you hated to describe it as such it was like all the cliches rolled into one, the fireworks, the butterflies, the rest of the world fading into nothing. It was almost overwhelming and when the two of you finally pulled away, James resting his forehead against yours as you both gasped for air, neither of you could stop the smiles that spread across your faces.

“We should have done that before.” James said eventually causing you to laugh as James’ smile only seemed to grow at the sound. “We’re definitely doing it from now on.”

“At least ask me on a date first.” You laughed and James leaned down to kiss you again just because he couldn’t stop himself and because he was finally allowed to do it.

And spending the rest of the day in a place that was purely yours and James, finally able to kiss each other as casually as you held hands was a truly magical feeling. There was no need for grand romantic confessions, no need to awkwardly stutter through your feelings for one another because you’d always known how you felt about each other. You’d always known that there was a connection, a bond, a love that ran so deep it could never be broken.

It wasn’t until the sky darkened and your stomachs rumbled that the two of you forced yourself up and that was the hardest part about this place, leaving. It was so easy to get caught up in a world that only existed within the safety of the trees but eventually you had to leave.

The two of you walked side by side, hands brushing against each others until James caught your pinky finger in his and looped them together causing you to look down at the joined fingers before turning to James with a soft smile and feeling nothing but love and happiness running through your veins as he smiled back, all thoughts of letters and misery gone from your head.

______

James Potter Taglist (link in bio to add yourself) - @haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx,  @asherhunterx, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @mrs-scottmccall,   @j-cat,  @cinderellacauseshebroke,  @black-rose-29,    @chickensrule,  @rosaliedepp,  @divanca2006,  @silverose365,   @tc-blossom,  @transparentweaselpartyeagle,  @mystic-writings,  @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @sweetdreamsjg,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky,  @maeve-7,  @lazysheepperfection, @serrendiipty, @father-violet, @izzyyy-1, @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1 , @loki-laufeysons-wife​, @srhxpci, @mrslizzyolsen​, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @ack3rlevi, @lovelyvante

Answer Honestly

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Prompts -  “Ever heard of the 36 Questions that lead to love?”

From the moment you’d been called into your bosses’ office in the States and told you were relocating to Columbia to assist the DEA in capturing Pablo Escobar every day was hectic. There was always something happening, a new lead, a new dead end, a new body, a new bombing. Between proving that you could work just as well as the men on the team and the constant disappointment of always being a step behind Escobar you were exhausted and were glad for the short period when Escobar disappeared.

The silence from Escobar felt like a victory in itself. From what you understood the man had very few supporters left, even the people of Colombia seemed to turn away from him as the days went by. Just because Escobar was hiding away and trying to plan his next move didn’t mean the DEA didn’t have work to do, a steady number of anonymous calls still poured in but the workload had definitely eased up for the first time since you’d joined the hunt for Escobar. 

Which left more room for you to sit at your desk which Steve had shoved into the room to rest against both his and Javier’s. 

The bickering and arguing had always been a constant sound whenever you and Javier where in the same room as each other but since Escobar wasn’t active the sound became a more regular occurrence that lasted until the end of your shifts as you didn’t leave the building as much as you did when you were following leads.

The arguments with Javier always began over nothing, there was never any real heat behind the words you threw at each other. Sure the two of you had rubbed each other the wrong way since you’d arrived in Colombia but at the end of the day, despite the glares and angry words, you had each other’s back. 

Plus fighting with Javier was so enjoyable, you couldn’t help but provoke him and push him into fighting with you, watching as his fist clenched and he took a step closer to you…you might not like the man but even you couldn’t deny he was attractive.

“Where’s Steve?” You asked as Javier sat down in his seat, leaning back and rolling his eyes at you.

“Good morning to you too,” he grumbled, hands coming up to rest on his chest, “he’s following a lead.”

The words caused you to perk up. It wasn’t like you weren’t glad for Escobar’s silence but you really weren’t cut out for sitting at your desk all day, you were meant to be out there taking out the bad guys.

“Don’t get too excited, we already know it’s not leading anywhere.” And just as quickly as you’d sat up you were slouching in your seat again, a huff leaving you as you pulled a magazine close to you and flicked it onto a random page.

Javier had yet to take his eyes off you and watched the exact moment your face shifted from boredom to a look that usually meant Javier was about to be annoyed. He barely suppressed a sigh as you grinned over at him, sitting a little straighter in your chair.

“Hey Javi, would you like to be famous?” You asked him, causing him to look at you questioningly.

“What?” He asked when it became clear you weren’t going to say anything else. 

“Just answer the question,” You told him, laying the magazine on the desk as you leaned your elbows against it, turning your body towards him, “Do you want to be famous?”

“No.” He finally gave in, causing your grin to widen.

“Really?” You asked and watched as Javier rolled his eyes again. “I think it’d be kinda fun, no?”

“Why are you asking me if I want to be famous?” He asked but you ignored him and looked back to the magazine. 

“Ok, here’s a good one, tell me something you like about me.” You said, eyes shifting to lock with his and smiling as you saw his face, looking at you with his usual level of annoyance. 

“You’re gonna be waiting a long time for that answer.” Javier said, causing you to roll your eyes at him. 

“Come on,” you said, a slight whine in your tone, “just answer the questions. I’m bored and wanna see if it works.”

“See if what works?” Javier asked again, hands moving to grab the magazine but you pulled it back just before he could.

“Ever heard of the 36 questions that lead to love?” You asked him, grinning at the unimpressed look you received as an answer. “It’s meant to make two strangers fall in love with each other, I wanna see if it’ll work on us.”

“You want to fall in love with me?” Javier said with a smirk, tone immediately more flirty than it ever was when talking to you and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Obviously not, I want you to fall madly in love with me so that I can break your heart,” You told him, watching as he nodded along unbelievingly but you ignored him and continued, “Now, tell me something you like about me.”

There was a long pause, the silence stretching out as Javier looked at you, as if he were actually considering his answer. You didn’t look away from his stare, just raised an eyebrow at him and waited to see if he was capable of giving you a genuine answer…of saying something nice about you.

“I like your determination.” He finally told you, voice steady even if he didn’t look entirely comfortable at his own honesty and when you eyebrows knitted together he expanded on his answer without meaning to. “Your very first day, you walked through those doors and made it clear you weren’t just a pretty face for the office, you were an agent who was here to do a job.”

Another silence passed between the two of you before Javier cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to say something nice about me now.” He told you, gesturing to the magazine in your hands and you nodded though you were as silent for as long as Javier had been. 

It wasn’t hard to come up with reasons you liked Javier, despite the fact you could count the number of genuine conversations you’d had with the man on one hand and all the others had been mostly arguments you weren’t denying he was a good person. The arguments weren’t serious and even with them, hell mostly because of them, you had actually started liking Javier as you spent more time with him.

“You care about people,” You said, frowning at your own words as they didn’t seem enough and like him you elaborated. “If somebody you cared about was in danger you’d do everything you could to make sure they were safe but it's not even just that, you know? Like that time we were fighting and I stormed off and ended up with that broken ankle,” the sound of Javier’s chuckle caused you to finally look up at him, a smile on his face as he recalled the day you were talking about, “we were pissed as hell at each other but you still took me to the hospital and stayed with me the whole time.”

“I kept speaking to you in Spanish because you couldn’t understand it and you were too caught up arguing with me that you didn’t even focus on the pain.” A surprised look spread across your face as you finally understood why he had barely spoken in English the whole drive to the hospital. “¿Próxima pregunta? (Next question?)” He asked with a smirk tugging at his lips and you grinned without meaning to.

“Si fuéramos a ser amigos cercanos, ¿qué es una cosa que deberíamos saber sobre la otra? (If we were to be close friends, what is one thing we should know about each other?)” You asked, watching as his smirk grew into a smile as you answered in perfect Spanish.

“I’m stubborn-” You answered first, glaring as Javier cut you off with a sarcastic scoff.

“You stubborn?” He asked, grin on his face as you rolled the magazine up and reached over to whack his arm.

“But I have the best intentions, even if it doesn’t always work out right.” Javier’s face seemed to soften at your answer as he could only stare at you for a moment before shaking his head and answering you himself.

“I’m a mess,” He admitted, voice quieter than it had been moments before, “sometimes the weight of everything we do, the weight of what we see feels like it’s gonna suffocate me.”

Just as Javier had softened at your answer you did the same with his, eyes widening a tiny bit as a soft smile spread across your face, nodding in understanding at his words, knowing first hand just how overwhelming the job was some days.

“We’ll catch him.” You said just as softly as he had spoken and his eyes shifted so they were looking directly into yours, seeing how much you meant those words.

“Yeah, I know we will.” He told you after a moment of silence passed between you.

After sharing another smile Javier prompted you to ask another question and then another one and another one until the two of you had somehow drifted closer to each other, the magazine now spread out in front of the two of you as you made your way through the questions. You and Javier confessing your most embarrassing moments, admitting to the last time you’d cried and sharing stories of your families and your upbringing. 

People glanced over at the pair of you, the sight of the two of you leaning into each other, both laughing and smiling and not a nasty word to be heard was an unusual sight, one nobody in the office could ever recall seeing. 

You and Javier remained completely oblivious to the reactions of your colleagues, both too caught up in each other, trading answers with each other and finding it hard to believe how much you wanted to know the answer to questions about Javier’s family or what his most treasured memory was.

Despite realising it you were having the most genuine conversation with Javier Peña you had ever had. Hell Javier thought this might have been the most real conversation he’d had with anyone ever and was shocked by how much he wanted you to know his story, by how much he wanted to know yours, completely hooked on every word you had to say and committing the words to memory. 

There had always been something beyond the heated arguments and words thrown carelessly between the two of you, something beyond the looks disguised as glares but neither of you would have admitted it. Neither of you even acknowledged it, refusing to look for a deeper meaning to a routine that had become a comfort, a constant thing you could count on considering how fast things could change given your line of work. 

“Última pregunta. (Last question.)” Javier said, his eyes moving from the pages in front of you to look into your eyes, hating that this moment was about to end and you’d go back to hating each other.

“For what in your life do you feel most grateful?” You asked and there was a sadness to your tone too, not knowing if you could forget this afternoon and carry on fighting the man before you.

Javier hesitated, an answer on the tip of his tongue but unsure whether he could force the words out. They were true, he knew they were but before today would never have even thought to say them. If he didn’t say them though he was damning himself to a life of pretending, pretending to hate you, pretending his feelings weren’t there. He was exhausted with the job weighing down on him, he didn’t want another weight added to the already unmanageable one on his shoulders. 

“Meeting you.” He confessed finally, the second the words left his lips he knew there was no taking them back but he found he didn’t care, he didn’t want to take them back, didn’t want them to be a secret. “Meeting you is the thing I’m most grateful for.”

You couldn’t do anything but stare at Javier. For so long the two of you fought, you argued, you snapped and glared at each other but underneath that you cared for each other. You knew without a doubt that you would take a bullet for him, knew he would take one just as quickly for you. You knew that if anything ever happened to him you’d be crushed, knew it would feel like you were losing a bit of yourself. 

It was like the feelings had always been there, hidden under the surface never to be looked at and yet somehow, with a few questions, those feelings were on full display for anyone to see and you weren’t even mad. Sure you were scared as hell as to what would happen between you and Javier but you didn’t regret that it was out in the open, in fact with the line of work the two of you were in you welcomed the small slice of happiness that could come from this conversation.

“I’m grateful we had this conversation.” You told him, voice quiet and any noise from around the office fading out as Javier shot you a shy smile that you easily returned, feeling your cheeks heat up as Javier placed his hand on yours and gave it a soft squeeze.

“Who would’ve thought some questions from a damn magazine would be the thing to get us talking?” Javier said and it was like those were the magic words to settle the nerves as you let out a laugh, Javier laughing along with you and memorising the way your face shifted and lit up as you laughed, a warm feeling in his chest at being the one to draw that reaction from you.

“So are you in love with me yet?” You asked with a grin that nearly took Javier’s breath away.

“Why?” He asked, the smile on his lips so wide it almost ached, “¿Aún quieres romperme el corazón? (Do you still want to break my heart?)”

Your grin shifted in a soft smile as you shook your head, watching as Javier’s eyes shifted to your lips but he shook his head too and brushed his thumb across your knuckles.

“Can I take you out this weekend?” He asked you, nervous bubbling in his chest, the kind of nerves he hadn’t had for many years.

A few hours ago the thought of Javier Peña going on a date would have been laughable, this man didn’t do dates, he didn’t do commitment, he did fast hookups and not much else and yet you trusted him not to use you for nothing more than sex. It was easy to believe his intentions for a date were true when he was looking at you with a nervous smile and soft eyes.

“Pick me up a seven.” You told him and he grinned at you as he nodded, squeezing your hand one last time before you were both interrupted.

“Pablo Escobar was spotted at the airport,” Steve said causing both your heads to snap over to him at the new information but then you watched him slump down in his chair and huff out and annoyed breath, “Of course he wasn’t but I still had to run through the whole damn airport just to check. Hope you two had a better day than I did.”

You and Javier both looked away from Steve and shot each other a look that turned into twin smiles causing Steve to raise an eyebrow as he looked between the two of you before his eyes landed on your joined hands.

“A much better day by the looks of it.” He grinned and you laughed as Javier rolled his eyes but he didn’t pull away from you as he slouched back in his seat, quickly changing the conversation to work as you sat mostly in silence, sneaking glances at Javier as he spoke, a smile playing on your lips as you counted down the hours until your date.

Who would have thought it would only take thirty six questions for you to fall for Javier Peña?

_________

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I See You In My Dreams

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Requsted - Yes, @pokey-hedgehog, I'm so sorry this took so long, hope you enjoy it🤎

Prompts -  Forehead kiss, sleepy hug, "I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you were okay." & "It'll be alright, it was just a nightmare."

You shot upright in your bed, head spinning at the speed in which you’d shifted from laying down to sitting up. The bedsheets moved with you, falling from your chest to gather around your waist as your fingers buried themselves into the fabric. You could hear the sound of your heart hammering in your chest, the sound seemingly echoing around the whole room and your breaths came out in quick little pants that made you even dizzier.

You knew it had been a nightmare, it was one version of the same nightmare you’d been having for months now, each time it ended the same way even if the events leading up to the outcome differed.

Usually you were able to calm down, able to control your breathing and ground yourself with reality. Usually waking up after this nightmare had you lying awake for an hour or so before you finally drifted off again but tonight was different.

Tonight your brain refused to cooperate with the rational side of things, the side that told you Frank was in the room right next to yours, alive and breathing. Logically you knew he was safe but there was a pit in your stomach, anxiety spreading through your whole body as flashes of Frank’s dead body filled your mind and tears began to fall down your cheeks.

Ever since Frank had unintentionally saved you from the gang you had been sold to years ago you had been in his care, no family to speak of and nowhere to call home. You knew at first Frank hadn’t expected you to live with him but after a few months he had confessed to you one night that he didn’t want you to leave, that you always had a space here, had a place that was home. 

Before he had told you that you were still keeping yourself closed off from the man, of course you soaked up his kind touches and soft words, things you hadn’t experienced in as long as you could remember, but you also didn’t want to get too attached, knowing the man would want you gone as soon as possible. Once he had told you he wanted you to stay things shifted between the two of you, you started seeking out his comfort without him needing to initiate it first, now if you were having a bad day you didn’t feel scared to curl up next to him with your head on his shoulder, waiting for his arm to wrap around you and pull you even closer and talk openly with him. 

Life with Frank was easy, it was nice, and you were so glad he had found you all those months ago.

He hadn’t had an easy time getting you out though, you knew every secret that the gang had, people were quite willing to speak around you, not seeing you as a person so much as a thing to be beat on and snapped at. Frank had you behind him, his jacket covering your body as he shot gang member after gang member. You were so relieved to be finally getting out, to see that these men couldn’t hurt you anymore but when one peaked out from his hiding spot, spotting Frank before Frank saw him and fired bullet after bullet you felt your heart stop and your blood run cold, tears falling faster down your face as you began to mourn both your freedom and the man who hadn’t hesitated to pull you out, to put himself between you and the rain of bullets.

In reality, Frank stumbled back with the force of the bullets but otherwise didn’t seem too concerned as he turned his own gun and fired it once, hitting the man straight away and you could only watch through shocked, bleary eyes as his body slumped to the ground lifelessly. When he moved forward but realised you weren’t following him he turned around in concern and you sobbed in relief as you saw the bullet proof vest, Frank’s eyes softening as he pulled you into his arms and led you out of the building, one hand cupping the back of your head to keep you buried against his chest and not able to see him kill more people. 

In your dreams it was always different versions of the same thing. Sometimes Frank didn’t have the protection of the bulletproof vest, sometimes the gunman aimed for Frank’s head, each time you were frozen to the spot, helpless to do anything but sink to your knees beside the lifeless body and sob into his chest. The dreams became more intense, more real, more terrifying the closer you got to Frank. Losing him when he had first taken you from the gang would have hurt but if it happened now you weren’t so sure you would recover.

Finally the overwhelming anxiety and fear became too much as your head produced image after image of Frank dead in a pool of his own blood and you had to pull yourself from the bed, every inch of your body shaking despite the fact that you felt like you were on fire and beads of sweat pooled on your forehead.

You quickly but quietly made your way out of your bedroom door and over to Frank’s. The door was already left half open, something you knew Frank did to let you know you were welcome at any time, something which you were immensely grateful for now as you slipped through the gap and into his room. 

It was still dark outside but the streetlights casted enough of a glow that you could see Frank lying in bed, unfortunately the blankets covered his chest so you couldn’t just quietly confirm that he was in fact still breathing and slip out again. Instead seeing him so still had more tears sliding down your face and your breathing quickening even though it was already impossibly fast already.

You stepped closer until your legs knocked against the bed and huffed a sigh of relief as Frank shifted before his eyes opened, heavy with sleep before they filled with concern and he sat up, immediately reaching for you, and pulling you down onto the bed with him, his arms wrapping around you and pressing you against his chest. Frank rocked the two of you back and forth in an attempt to calm you down but something about seeing that he was alright seemed to cause your sobs to louden and your breathing to become even more erratic.

“M’sorry, m’sorry,” You managed to choke out between sobs but the man just shushed you, continuing to rock you in his arms.

“None of that now, sweetheart.” Frank murmured, pressing his lips to your temple, and feeling how hot and sweaty the skin was. “You’re alright, I’ve got ya, I got ya, kid.” 

“I had a nightmare,” you sobbed into his chest, somehow forcing the words out even with how much your chest hurt from your sharp breaths, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m alright, kid, I’m right here, not going anywhere, you don’t gotta worry about that.” Frank told you softly but firmly as his heart ached at seeing his kid in such a state. 

“You’re okay?” You managed to ask again and Frank pulled you back far enough so you could see his face and the soft, comforting smile he gave you.

“I’m okay, ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.” He promised and with those words you sagged against him, Frank felt the tension leave you as you melted into him, gripping his shirt like it was your only lifeline. “Hey, you wanna copy my breathing for me? Deep breaths in and out for me, yeah just like that, attagirl,” Frank praised, feeling himself relax as your breathing finally began to slow into a normal rhythm. “That’s my girl, that’s my girl, good job, you’re okay, I got ya.” 

It felt like it had been hours but finally your breathing was steady, your chest still ached but you could breathe easier now and your sobs had slowed to sniffles as a result of the constant rocking and comforting words being whispered by Frank. 

Now you were just left feeling exhausted and drained, any bit of energy you had had simply disappeared but you still pulled back slightly, not going far but far enough so you could look up at Frank who gave you a soft smile, letting one of his hands come up to wipe at your cheeks softly.

“I saw you die.” You whispered, afraid that saying the words out loud would make them true but instead Frank’s smile widened a small bit and he shook his head.

“I ain’t dying on you, don’t gotta worry about that.” Frank assured you, using the hand on your cheek to guide your head towards him so that he could lean down slightly and press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead which you easily relaxed into, making no move to pull away until he did. “It’ll be alright, it was just a nightmare, you ain’t getting rid of me that easy.” 

The words pulled a laugh out of you that sounded strained but still made Frank’s face light up as he looked down at you and you pulled your arms from where they were trapped between your body and Frank’s to wrap them around his waist, Frank not even hesitating to wrap you in his arms again, holding you close.

You felt your eyes become heavy and found them falling shut as you hugged Frank, one of his hands running up and down your back in a way that made it even easier to relax into him and you couldn't help but cuddle further into him, a smile pulling at your lips as you felt more than heard his chuckle from your place against his chest.

You had figured you weren’t getting any sleep for the rest of the night, figured your emotions would be too all over the place and mind too distracted but by the time Frank was repositioning the two of you so that you were laying down in his bed, you resting more on him than the mattress you found you were already more than halfway asleep and couldn’t find the strength to open your eyes again.

The last thing you felt before you fell asleep was Frank’s lips on your head and his softly murmured assurance that he was ok, that you could sleep now and he’d watch over you before you did as he said and drifted off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep safe in the man’s arms, the steady beat of his heart under your head letting you know he was safe too.

___________________

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