James Potter Fanfic - Tumblr Posts

A World We Can Call Our Own

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Prompts - anon - 79 - “Do you remember when we skipped school and found this place?” “Yeah, I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.” & 91 - ‘Would you lay with me and just forget the world?’ & 99 - Interlocking pinky fingers.

The grounds of Hogwarts were no strangers to explorers, excited children trying to discover all the hiding places and secrets of the both the castle and its grounds. Yet despite the decades and decades worth of children trying to discover each hiding spot there were still more places than could be counted that had yet to be found.

There were places that should never have even been findable to witches and wizards, places that were so well hidden it should have been impossible to find and yet somehow, somehow two second year students had found one of the grounds best kept hideaways. Not only had they found it so many years ago but they returned often enough that it became their own space.

One of them was having a bad day? The two of them could be found together, backs against the beautifully green grass littered with pastel colours. One of them received good news? The two of them could be found together, huge grins on their faces as they sat close enough together that their shoulders brushed and an unmentioned blush spread across both their cheeks. One of them was struggling with a class? The two of them could be found together, books spread out on the grass, ink stains on their hands and their heads bent together as the other patiently talked through the material.

The land that hadn’t been walked since before Hogwarts was built had now been claimed by two teenagers who shared every special moment together in the place that had become theirs.

“What’s wrong?” You heard James ask but didn’t look away from the letter in your hands as you sat on the ledge of the astronomy tower, feeling James take a seat next to you.

You didn’t answer him, you couldn’t answer him so instead you handed over the latest letter of disappointment from your parents and continued to sit in the silence that seemed less suffocating now that James was sitting beside you.

“I’m sorry,” James frowned as he read, hating how your parents were able to bring your mood down with one little letter - between yours and Sirius’ parents nobody was winning parent of the year awards.

“Don’t be,” you sighed, turning so that your head rested on his shoulder, smiling when his head softly lay against yours. “You think I’d be used to this, right? I mean I’ve been getting these letters since first year.”

“I’m sorry.” James said again and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you shook your head slightly.

For years you’d let the letters and the arguments drag you down all because your family saw you as a disappointment for being sorted into Gryffindor and for years James had been the one to comfort you every time without fail.

“Come on,” He said after several moments of silence, nudging his shoulder against yours as he lifted his head. You looked up at him questioningly, squinting against the sun that shone brightly behind him causing him to grin down at you as he held a hand out for you.

You didn’t hesitate to slide your hand into his and let him pull you up. Despite the fact hand holding wasn’t a new thing between you and James, hell James had been holding your hand since your first day at Hogwarts as he watched you watch name after name and house after house get announced. The fear was clear across your face and James held your hand right up until he was forced to let go and took it straight back in his as you sat down next to him, pale faced and terrified. Despite all that, the familiar feeling of his hand in yours never failed to make your stomach fill with a thousand butterflies.

You let James lead you down the many steps of the astronomy tower and all the way through the castle until you were heading out of the front entrance, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips as you realised exactly where he was taking you. It was no surprise of course, the two of you practically lived there. It was a surprise that other people had never found the place that had become so special to you, a place where there were no expectations, no family rules and honour, nothing but a place to just be yourself with James.

It didn’t matter to either of you that lunch was almost over and you had double potions in only a few minutes. The only thing that mattered was being together in a place that hid you away from the rest of the world, a place where only the two of you existed.

The walk to your quiet corner of the world was long but peaceful and the two of you took your time, climbing up rocky hills and ducking under untamed vines, hands never leaving each other as you walked side by side. Neither of you said anything but unlike the silence back at the astronomy tower, this silence was nice, it was comfortable. This silence was the kind of silence few people ever got to experience, a silence where no words needed to be spoken, where the silence didn’t need to be filled because the others presence was enough.

It was the kind of silence that came with years worth of friendship, the kind of silence that came with years worth of affection and years worth of feelings that blossomed every single day.

You and James had been fast friends, James immediately pulling you into his carriage on the train, misinterpreting the fear on your face for first day nerves rather than fears of disownment but still you had let yourself be distracted by him, let his smile soothe you and his words push the fear away as you laughed along with what he said.

That first night in the common room, long after everyone had gone to bed you remained downstairs, sitting on the floor with your back pressed to the sofa. It wasn’t until James joined you, with no words to make you laugh or a smile to make you giggle, that a single tear fell down your face. James didn’t offer false words of comfort, instead he sat with you in silence, not awkward or uneasy but comfortable and despite the fact that no words were exchanged that night you knew James Potter was going to be your best friend.

And you were right, Merlin, how right you were.

James Potter was your best friend, inseparable from first year onwards and it wasn’t a shock to anyone as you confessed to your closest friends outside of each other that you liked the other. You remembered clearly sitting in the girls dorm, everyone sat on their beds talking about boys and when they turned to you they didn’t need your flustered confession to know that you had feelings for James, just like Sirius, Remus and Peter didn’t need James to tell them that he liked you.

It was quite possibly the worst kept secret at Hogwarts.

Yet years went by and still neither you or James were brave enough to bring the topic up. It was almost an unspoken agreement to keep things the way they were because it was enough, the bond you had with each other was rare, it was something that most people spent their whole lives looking for and few truly found. Why risk messing with something that was already perfect?

Of course, that was easy to think but some days it was almost suffocating how badly you wanted James. How easy it would be to lean over and press your lips to his and sometimes you moved to do it so casually that it was hard to stop yourself. It was a position James too had found himself in more times than he could even recall at this point.

It was how he’d found himself in the boy’s bedroom, coming up with a plan with the others. A plan that would see the two of you finally together because James couldn’t deal with another year of keeping his feelings to himself. He couldn’t deal with another year of sitting in the common room, fire blazing in front of the sofas, his closest friends surrounding him and you tucked up beneath his arm, head resting on his chest and on occasion falling asleep where you lay.

And they had come up with a plan. It was a good plan too, one involving a trip to Hogsmeade and ending with the two of you together. But for some reason as he spoke through it with his friends, something didn’t feel right about it and now as he walked through the opening of his place with you he realised exactly what it was that was wrong.

How could he ask you out anywhere but the safe haven that seemed to have been created solely for the two of you?

The trees stood tall, each of them blocking the outside world away without making either of you feel closed in. The beautiful pastel pinks that hung over top of you from the weeping cherry tree, the pink blending in with the greens and the purples from the jacaranda tree. There was a clearing through the trees that seemed to stretch on for miles, beautifully green grass turning into crystal clear water well off into the distance.

Despite the amount of times you’d walked over the flowers that seemed to cover the grass, despite how many times you had both lay against the soft ground, the flowers sat perfectly, no proof that they had ever been disrupted.

What better place was there for James to finally, finally, ask you out?

Now all that was left to do was figure out how to make his move.

The two of you quickly found yourself in a familiar position, laying next to each other, eyes on the sky that could be seen despite the mess of trees. A position that right now was exactly what you needed because there was no better cure than laying with James and forgetting about the rest of the world.

“Do you remember,” You finally spoke softly, continuing to stare up ahead even as James’ head turned in your direction, looking at a face he had long since memorised, “when we skipped school and found this place?”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you listened to James laugh. It was a sound you pulled from him easily and you were glad for it because the sound never failed to send a warm feeling through you.

“Yeah,” James answered, a bright smile on his own face as he nodded over to one of the trees not too far away, watching as you began to laugh too. “I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.”

“I wouldn’t say I was impressed.” You told him, turning your gaze to the tree, the memory of a twelve year old James insisting that he could climb the tall tree to pluck a flower that bloomed from it.

Of course he hadn’t been able to do it, instead of watching him retrieve the flower, you watched as he stood tall on the tree branch, ignoring your calls to be careful, only to lose his footing and end up tumbling backwards off the branch and landing on the floor with a sickening crunch.

“You were impressed.” James told you, trying to maintain his serious expression but a side eyed glance from you had him grinning despite himself. “I know you were impressed that I managed to grab the flower.”

At that you couldn’t stop the smile on your face softening as you remembered the rest of the memory from that day because the idiot hadn’t even seemed bothered about the pain, hadn’t seemed to care that he had just broken his leg. No, instead he grinned up at you and held a slightly crumpled white flower in his fist out to you.

A flower you still kept safely tucked away in your trunk to this day.

“I still have it, you know?” You told him, turning away from the tree to look at him, watching as his grin fell and his eyes widened.

“You kept it?” He asked, voice quiet as he turned so he faced you completely, supporting his weight on one arm and watching as you nodded.

“You broke your leg getting it for me, of course I kept it.” You watched as a disbelieving smile made its way onto his face and he let out a huff of laughter as he looked at you in amazement.

He was so utterly and irretrievably in love with you.

And just like that all plans went out of the window as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back, moving your lips against his felt as natural as anything, it felt like it was something you had been doing for years.

It was definitely something you should have been doing for years because as much as you hated to describe it as such it was like all the cliches rolled into one, the fireworks, the butterflies, the rest of the world fading into nothing. It was almost overwhelming and when the two of you finally pulled away, James resting his forehead against yours as you both gasped for air, neither of you could stop the smiles that spread across your faces.

“We should have done that before.” James said eventually causing you to laugh as James’ smile only seemed to grow at the sound. “We’re definitely doing it from now on.”

“At least ask me on a date first.” You laughed and James leaned down to kiss you again just because he couldn’t stop himself and because he was finally allowed to do it.

And spending the rest of the day in a place that was purely yours and James, finally able to kiss each other as casually as you held hands was a truly magical feeling. There was no need for grand romantic confessions, no need to awkwardly stutter through your feelings for one another because you’d always known how you felt about each other. You’d always known that there was a connection, a bond, a love that ran so deep it could never be broken.

It wasn’t until the sky darkened and your stomachs rumbled that the two of you forced yourself up and that was the hardest part about this place, leaving. It was so easy to get caught up in a world that only existed within the safety of the trees but eventually you had to leave.

The two of you walked side by side, hands brushing against each others until James caught your pinky finger in his and looped them together causing you to look down at the joined fingers before turning to James with a soft smile and feeling nothing but love and happiness running through your veins as he smiled back, all thoughts of letters and misery gone from your head.

______

James Potter Taglist (link in bio to add yourself) - @haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx,  @asherhunterx, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @mrs-scottmccall,   @j-cat,  @cinderellacauseshebroke,  @black-rose-29,    @chickensrule,  @rosaliedepp,  @divanca2006,  @silverose365,   @tc-blossom,  @transparentweaselpartyeagle,  @mystic-writings,  @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @sweetdreamsjg,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky,  @maeve-7,  @lazysheepperfection, @serrendiipty, @father-violet, @izzyyy-1, @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1 , @loki-laufeysons-wife​, @srhxpci, @mrslizzyolsen​, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @ack3rlevi, @lovelyvante

In Another Life

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Prompts - anon - ‘I can’t help but wonder if I told you sooner, would I be where she is now?'

If somebody were to ask James Potter what Y/F/N Y/LN was to him he would have smiled, it would have been a smile that spread across his whole face, a smile that made his eyes light up and he would have told whoever had asked him that Y/F/N Y/L/N was one of his best friends, his family. He would gladly take any chance he could get to talk about you, the same way he did with Sirius, with Remus and Peter too. 

If somebody were to ask you what James Potter was to you it would have been an entirely different reaction, if the person was looking close enough. To some people they would see a smile that seemed sincere enough, would hear you say he was your best friend but other people, if they looked deeper would see a completely different reaction. Sure they would still see a smile but they would notice that it didn’t quite meet your eyes, that it seemed strained, almost shaky. Of course they would hear you say that James Potter was your best friend but they would also hear the sadness behind those words, the longing. Whereas James could talk about you for hours, you would move the conversation on as quickly as you could.

You and James had made fast friends after both being sorted into Gryffindor and after spending seven years together, practically joined at the hip, it wasn't a surprise when you found yourself having romantic feelings for him. It must have been around fourth or fifth year when you realised you fancied him, around the same time everyone else your age was starting to actually like the idea of having a relationship…around the same time James Potter realised he liked Lily Evans.

You watched as he pursued her, watched as childish pranks turned into mature and serious displays of affection that eventually won the girl over. You watched as every moment of their relationship played out before your very eyes. You were the one James turned to when it came to wanting an opinion on important dates, on gifts and you smiled, each time you forced a smile onto your face and shoved your feelings down and helped him whenever he asked.

The moment that broke your heart the most though was when James showed up at your door one afternoon, you remembered it clear as day. He had looked nervous, more nervous than you’d seen him in a long time, and you had immediately invited him in, the two of you taking a seat on the couch. 

“What’s wrong?” You had asked him, watching as he smoothed his palms against his thighs before taking a breath and moving one hand to pull something out of his pocket. 

You physically felt your heart shatter as he opened a black box and presented a ring. It was a beautiful ring and you hated it. 

“What do you think?” James had asked after a few moments of silence passed between you. 

You blinked back the tears, refusing to cry in front of him, and instead forced another smile and looked from the ring to him before nodding, telling him it was perfect. That seemed to be the thing to relax him and a grin spread across his face as he started talking about how he was going to ask her out and all you could do was smile.

With the threat of the war hanging over everyone in the wizarding world, James and Lily decided to marry quickly after the engagement. Nothing extravagant, family and friends gathered together to witness the couple's marriage and you found yourself in line surrounded by other guests, making your way into the venue.

“Bride or groom?” A wizard at the door asked you and all you could do was stare at him for a moment. 

Despite being in love with James Potter you did actually like Lily, she was your friend and it only made your feelings all the more worse. Such formalities seemed strange when you knew them both so well.

“Bride or groom, miss?” The wizard asked you again and you shook your head.

“Sorry, um, groom.” You said in a small voice, stomach in knots as it felt like you were about to step into some sort of nightmare, perhaps you were already in one. The wizard smiled, pointing you in the direction of the groom's side of the room.

You had always known there was no chance of a relationship between you and James, not when he looked at Lily like he did but there was a part of you, a part of you that you hated, that had hoped for…something.

James Potter would always be your almost, the one that was meant to be but never could.

With a deep and shaky breath you smiled at the wizard and forced your feet to move. Once you were in the room your eyes immediately locked onto James. He looked handsome, of course he did, standing at the front of the room, talking with Sirius with a nervous but excited look on his face.

You felt your forced smile soften into something real because despite everything you really were happy for him. He was so in love with a girl who loved him as deeply as he did, he had found happiness even with everything going on. As much as you wished he had found that with you, you were happy for him. 

Despite being happy for him though you really couldn’t wait for this day to end.

It wasn’t long before everyone was seated and the quiet murmurs of conversation stopped as music filled the room and the guests rose from their seats. You stood and turned to the back of the room, breath catching as you saw Lily in the doorway. 

She looked beautiful. 

The dress she wore was gorgeous, hugging her waist and flowing out around her feet, a train following behind her as she walked the length of the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers and a bright smile on her face that almost looked painful.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you desperately tried to fight them back as you took a shaky breath. It was real before, it had been real from the moment James had shown you the ring but now, watching her, you couldn’t help but wonder how different things could have been. How if you had told James how you had felt all those years ago things might be different. If you had told him would that be you walking down the aisle with a real smile on your face as opposed to the fake one you had worn for years?

Lily Evans really did make a beautiful bride and stood next to James, the pair of them so obviously in love with each other, you couldn’t help but finally let a few tears fall, choking back a sob as they said their ‘I do’s’.

You’d managed to stay to yourself after the ceremony, the party taking place at the Potter’s, which had been decorated as beautifully as everything else surrounding the wedding. Thankfully, James was so busy mingling with guests you had gotten away with isolating yourself, standing to the side of the garden with a drink in your hand trying not to look at the happy couple.

You had tried for years to push your feelings down, to accept that nothing would come from them and that they would only damage your friendship with James. Logically you knew all of that but emotionally you just couldn’t let go. James was one of the few good things in your life, the few solid things that you could always count on and it hurt, it hurt watching them together no matter how irrational it was.

You’d lost track of how many times you’d fought back tears today, cursing yourself as your eyes started stinging against and scrunched them shut as tightly as you could, effectively shutting out the rest of the guests and missing the way James spotted you from the other side of the garden and excused himself from the conversation he was having to make his way over to you, a frown on his face as he stepped closer.

“Hey,” He said softly, knocking his shoulder against yours gently and not missing the way you jumped.

“Hey.” You replied just as quietly, hoping that there was no proof of the fact you were on the verge of tears.

“Why are you over here?” He asked, keeping his voice at the same level, if you were closer to the party you would have struggled to hear each other but this far away it was fine.

You stayed silent for a few moments, taking a breath and forcing another smile on your face before turning to face him.

“Needed a minute,” You finally said and watched as his concerned look seemed to deepen, “How’s married life?” You asked to distract him, pointedly ignoring the pain in your chest at both the topic and the laugh James gave.

“Merlin, if you’d have told me how much talking I’d have to do I might’ve reconsidered the whole thing.” You let yourself chuckle along with him, hoping that it sounded convincing.

“I’m happy for you.” You told him and watched as his chuckle faded into a soft smile. Unable to stop yourself, you leaned your head down so it was resting against his shoulder and James didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you, letting his head rest on your head, placing a soft kiss to your hair.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my whole life, Y/N/N,” He told you and you could hear the sincerity in his tone, his voice almost a whisper as he spoke, “I just keep thinking, how did I get so lucky, you know? I found my soulmate and I got to marry her, how often does that happen?”

What a question, how often does somebody meet their soulmate and it actually works out for them? You could answer that, you could tell him that people rarely got that lucky and instead would spend the rest of their lives in love with somebody who they could never have, you could tell him that the ache in their chest should get easier to live with but it didn’t, it never would.

You pulled away from James, feeling a new set of tears well up, or maybe they were the same tears, either way you pulled away from him.

“You sure you’re alright?” James asked again, noticing the wetness in your eyes but you just nodded, lips thinning into a smile before you took a breath.

“Congratulations James.” You whispered and turned away from him, making your way across the garden and into the house, missing James’ frown.

You found yourself locked in the toilet, this time you were unable to stop the tears from falling down your face uncontrollably, your back pressed to the door and a hand over your mouth in a weak attempt to muffle any sobs that escaped. 

You knew you had to get back up, knew you had to go back out there and you knew, above all, you had to move on. You knew you could do the first two even if it would take everything in you to go back out but the third one, you knew it was impossible.

You would spend the rest of your life in love with a man you could never have.

Eventually you forced yourself up and splashed some water on your face, trying to get rid of any traces of tears before you left the room and headed back outside…just in time for the first dance.

Sirius spotted you and smiled softly, gesturing for you to join him as he stood with the guests to the side to watch the dance. Music filled the air and the couple started to move beautifully together just as you reached Sirius.

Sirius didn’t say anything, he didn’t take his eyes off of Lily and James but he did wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you into his chest. The two of you had never spoken about it but you knew he knew. 

You didn’t dwell on the thought though, didn’t care how pathetic you seemed to Sirius, you just kept watching the scene in front of you and couldn’t help but picture yourself in Lily’s place, an unfair thought but one that appeared anyway.

Maybe in some other world you were with James, maybe you were looking lovingly into his eyes whilst he held you close and whispered things that made you giggle. Maybe all these people were watching you and him move around elegantly to the music and maybe somebody else was standing to the side wishing they were you. 

Maybe you were by his side in another life.

But this was the life you had, a life where the man you loved had married another girl, a life where you hadn’t even gotten a chance with him, a life where your days were numbered due to the war and a life where you would never, ever be able to stop loving James Potter.

______

James Potter Taglist (link in bio to add yourself) - 

@haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx,  @asherhunterx, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @mrs-scottmccall,   @j-cat,  @cinderellacauseshebroke,  @black-rose-29,    @chickensrule,  @rosaliedepp,  @divanca2006,  @silverose365,   @tc-blossom,  @transparentweaselpartyeagle,  @mystic-writings,  @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @sweetdreamsjg,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky,  @maeve-7,  @lazysheepperfection, @serrendiipty, @father-violet, @izzyyy-1, @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1 , @loki-laufeysons-wife​, @srhxpci, @mrslizzyolsen​, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @ack3rlevi, @lovelyvante

Holding On & Letting Go

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Angstember Prompt - "I really hope you get her someday."

Even at eleven years old you knew James Potter was going to be an important person in your life. Of course back then you were only young, you didn’t know what lay ahead during your seven years at Hogwarts but you knew there was something about James Potter, something about the confident eleven year old who took one look at the scared muggle born girl on her own and immediately ushered her into his cart and walked next her to get sorted.

You remembered that day so clearly, almost like time hadn’t passed. You remembered James helping you adjust to magic, helping you with whatever you were confused with without hesitation. You remembered how James had dragged you outside, insisting that one of the best things about magic was flying, remembered how he had grinned as you refused to mount the broom only to compromise with you and before you knew it you were on a broom, James behind you as you went on your first flight.

You had years’ worth of fond, happy memories attached to James. For the first few years at Hogwarts there were no bad memories, sure the two of you had arguments but they were resolved before the day was over. You and James were attached at the hip, it was rare to be seen without the other, and so it didn’t surprise Remus when you told him at the beginning of fifth year that you had a crush on the boy.

You’d liked him for a while now, half way through third year you realised you liked him more than a friend but you hadn’t been too concerned with trying to figure out your feelings at thirteen. Now however you were fifteen, everyone around you was getting into relationships and you’d had years to think about what your feelings for James meant.

You also had a year of watching James’ crush on Lily Evans, watching as he made an idiot out of himself over and over again in an almost desperate attempt to capture her attention. Whilst Sirius laughed and encouraged it, you sat on the sidelines, a feeling in the pit of your stomach you couldn’t quite place but ignored as best you could. 

Fifth year came along and James hadn’t been as focused on Lily, instead he reigned himself in, offering up polite conversation to the girl but not much else. That was when you had confessed to Remus your feelings for James, knowing the boy would never share your conversation with him but still feeling like speaking the words aloud would cause something to shift. 

Remus had smiled at you, encouraged you to tell James how you felt, confident James felt the same for you. At first you had been adamantly against Remus’ advice, not wanting to mess up the dynamic you had with James but one night, long after everyone else had gone to bed and you and James had snuck out to lay out by the lake, looking up at the stars you had whispered your feelings to him.

The few seconds of silence that passed after your confession were torturously slow but then James had turned to you with a soft smile and asked you to go with him to Hogsmeade that weekend and you felt a weight you hadn’t known was there fall from your shoulders. 

From there it was easy dating James, the two of you already spent most of your time together anyway and five years of being friends made it feel like you knew everything about the other. There was no awkward getting to know each other phase, no uncomfortableness, it felt like nothing had changed except now you finally got to kiss him. 

It was easy to ignore at first. For the first few months of your relationship with James it was easy to get lost in him, so absorbed by the happiness you felt that you didn’t even realise it at first, not until the whispers around you got louder and the sympathetic looks multiplied. 

That’s when you noticed James’ straying eyes, the way he‘d leave your side and you’d spot him sitting with Lily or how even when she wasn’t involved in the conversation her name still somehow managed to get brought up.

You wanted to continue to ignore, to just remain oblivious and not have to deal with it and despite feeling like an idiot that’s exactly what you did. You refused to acknowledge any feelings James might have towards Lily, refused to listen as people told you it was only a matter of time before the two of them became a thing. If you went to bed with tears in your eyes some nights, having to share a room with the girl you were sharing James’ affection with then nobody had to know.

Just because his feelings for Lily had seemingly returned, or more accurately never left but had been buried for a while, didn’t mean he was any less involved with you. He was still there with you every day, still held your books, walked you to class, snuck the two of you out of the castle and asked you on dates. He still spent his nights with you tucked under his arm in front of the fire and smiled at you like he always had.

It almost made you wonder, one night alone in bed, if he was even aware of his own feelings for Lily, if he realised just how much he liked her. That’s when you paused, your breathing stopping for a second before you sucked in a sharp breath. What you and James had was comfortable, it was familiar, it reminded you of home when you were in his arms and you had to wonder if he felt the same. Surely he couldn’t, right? No matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise you had spent months ignoring the fact that when he walked into a room his gaze seemed to land on Lily before it did you.

The realisation had your heart breaking and you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks as you tried to muffle your cries. You had fallen for James, loved him as a best friend and as a boyfriend, though you’d yet to admit that one out loud, and you knew, no matter what happened between you and James, you knew he would never want to hurt you.

Somehow, even with the ache in your chest, you managed to fall asleep that night dreading your date to Hogsmeade the next morning.

The two of you sat opposite each other at a small table by the window, drinks in hand as you half-heartedly listened to James rambling on, your thoughts still very much still on the same train of thought as they had been last night.

“Hey,” James called softly, gaining your attention as he touched your hand, “you alright?” 

You were silent for a moment, completely unsure about how to answer that question. You knew your relationship with James was over at that point, if you were being honest it had been over for a long time but even now you were hesitant to admit it, hesitant to bring it to attention but you knew you needed to. 

At the end of the day James was still your best friend, even if that would sting for a while, and you had only ever what was best for him. If Lily Evans was what was best for him, or at least what he thought was best for him, then who were you to stand in the way?

Still it didn’t mean your heart wasn’t shattered.

Just as you opened your mouth to answer him you watched as his eyes flickered to the side, over to where the door was. Without needing to look you already knew who had just walked into The Three Broomsticks, you watched as James’ face lit up, a smile tugging unconsciously at his lips as his eyes followed her and still you turned your head slightly so you could see her, feeling your own eyes fill with tears.

Resignation was clear on your face even as your eyes fell closed to stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You took a breath before turning back to James whose gaze was on you again, concern written across his features.

“I really hope you get her someday.” You told him shakily, two tears trailing down your right cheek as you spoke.

Those weren’t exactly the words you thought you were going to use to start this conversation but ultimately they seemed right. Despite how much your heart ached, despite how much you wished it was you he wanted to be with, at the end of the day all you wanted was him happy.

You watched as the concern on James' face turned to confusion, his eyebrows knitting together as he tilted his head. 

“What?” He finally asked, his confusion just as clear in his tone as it was on his face.

“You like her, James.” You told him, watching as his eyes widened as they moved to look at Lily again before he turned back to you, shaking his head as he did. “It’s ok, I’ve known for a long time I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“I like you, Y/N/N.” He told you firmly, sounding like he truly believed those words and you didn’t doubt it.

“I know,” You told him, a smile making its way onto your face despite the fact that more and more tears seemed to fall from your eyes. ‘I know you do but I’m not her.” Your voice broke as you spoke, the words had you fighting back more tears.

“Y/N,” James tried again but you shook your head.

“Your whole face lights up when she so much as enters a room and when she talks to you, Merlin’s beard, I’ve never seen you smile brighter. I wish it was me, James, believe me I wish more than anything I was the one who could make you that happy but I’m not and I love you so much that I just want you to be happy…even if it’s not with me.” As you spoke you had to pause, needing to take a shaky breath as the tears continued to pour from your eyes.

James’ eyes widened at the love confession casually thrown into the speech, something you hadn’t even meant to let slip out but didn’t regret. They weren’t spoken to make him feel back but more so because you wanted him to know, know how much he meant to you and how much you really didn’t want there to be any hatred between the two of you.

You watched his eyes drift over towards Lily again before he looked to you, looking equally as heartbroken as you felt.

“I love you, you know that right?” He asked you, eyes pleading with you to know he was being honest and you couldn’t help but laugh softly despite the tears as you nodded.

“I know you do, baby,” you whispered, laugh fading into a shaky smile and you watched as James’ own eyes became watery, “just not like how you love her.” 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N/N.” He apologised, words shaky and broken as he reached out and took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

“I know you are.” You said again, squeezing his hand back and watching as a tear fell down his cheek. “I meant it, you know.”

“Meant what?” He asked, the two of you keeping your voices low as you spoke.

“I really do hope you get her.” You told him and watched his eyes shut as he shook his head, opening them to look at you with wide, apologetic eyes. 

Before James had the chance to reply you brought his hand up to your lips and pressed a gentle, barely there kiss to the skin before letting it fall back to the table and giving it a final squeeze. With that you pulled away from him and stood up, watching as his face seemed to crumble even more as he watched you.

He opened his mouth as if to say something more but seemed to decide against it as it fell closed. Instead he forced a shaky smile onto his face as more tears made their way down his cheeks. You smiled back at him, feeling too many emotions to make sense of as you turned away from him and out of the inn, ignoring the looks people sent you, not even caring about what a state you’d look like now with tears still falling down your face.

As you began your walk back to the castle alone you knew, despite how much you were hurting right now, despite how much you wanted to curl up in your room and cry until everything felt better, you knew you had done the right thing, not only for James but for yourself. 

For months you’d let your relationship continue despite knowing about his feelings for Lily, all because you weren’t ready to let him go. You still weren’t ready to be without him in all honesty but you knew it wasn’t fair to yourself to stay with somebody who wasn’t as all in as you were.

You would always love James Potter, it seemed impossible that there was a universe out there that could exist without you loving him. Even if you had to do the hardest thing and let him go it didn’t mean you loved him any less, Merlin, it probably showed you loved him more, the fact you were willing to let him go, willing to put his own happiness above your own. You would always love James Potter, it was just one of the many facts of life, even if he didn’t love you back, even if it meant watching him with another girl, your love for him would never fade.

____

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Prompt - ‘You saw me start to believe for the first time.’

Requested - @katsuniverse​

Notes - Happy Speak Now month! Request a fic for any of the remaining Speak Now tracks, click my masterlist to see which songs are left!!💜

The difference between you and James was that he came from a family that showered him in love, a family with two parents who married for love without caring what other people thought, a family that couldn’t care less about blood purity and keeping family lines ‘clean’.

Your family only cared about that, muggles were respected less than house elves, if you even dared to glance at somebody who wasn’t of pureblood descent then they’d be sure to let you know how much of a traitor you were to the family. Your parents didn’t love each other, they loathed each other, sure in public people believed they were the perfect couple but the reality of it was they couldn’t have a single conversation behind closed doors without it turning into a screaming match.

Perhaps that was why you and Sirius had been fast friends. From a young age both of you had known this life wasn’t for you, the prejudice and judgement coming from people who thought they were so much better than others just because they were purebloods. Both of you forced to attend the parties that were only hosted in an effort to show how superior one family was from the other, a similar one hosted the next week just to prove who was better.

You hated those parties and yet you were made to attend each one of them, mainly sticking with Sirius and trying to stifle your laughter as he made fun of the stuck up witches and wizards around the room.

Going to Hogwarts was the break you needed. Finally being away from your family, from their high class rules, their cruel words and harsher glares, the parties and the arguments. It was a relief to leave home but their judgement still followed you down the Great Hall.

You and Sirius traded apprehensive looks. Both the Y/L/N and the Black family had been Slytherin’s for as far back as anybody could remember, it was expected that you and Sirius would follow that tradition.

You had known for years that Sirius was determined to be in any house but Slytherin, promising that he would find a way to trick the hat if he needed to. You thought he’d be ok though, Sirius was your best friend and nothing at all like the Slytherin that surrounded you on a daily basis, you didn’t think it would be a struggle for him to be placed anywhere else. You figured he’d do well in Gryffindor, he was one of the bravest people you’d met after all, never one to back down even against his father’s fists and mother’s sharp nails that left marks after one too many glasses of wine.

You yourself were torn, of course you hated everything your family stood for, of course you wanted to break free from them but thinking that and actually doing it were two different things. You had no love for your family but you knew their disappointment would still hit hard if you were placed anywhere but Slytherin.

“Now what should we do with you?” The hat asked once Professor McGonagall placed the ancient thing on your head. “A brilliant mind, older than your years aren’t you? Cunning and quick on your feet. But not Slytherin, eh?  For as long as I can remember the Y/L/N’s have been Slytherin’s. Of course that doesn’t mean you have to be. No, no I don’t think Slytherin is where you belong. A brave girl like you belongs in…

Gryffindor!” The Hat exclaimed and you felt your eyes widen in shock, gaze immediately seeking out Sirius who was beaming at you, up on his feet and whooping as you forced yourself off the stool and over to him.

“Breathe.” Sirius whispered as the remaining students were sorted, you not paying attention to any of it as your mind flooded with fear of what your family would do. “We’ll be fine.”

You glanced over at Sirius who smiled at you, knocking into your shoulder softly and you nodded, taking a deep breath and finally focusing on those around you. Opposite you were the two boys you’d met on the train, the pale boy with scars scattered around his face and hands sat across from Sirius and the boy with messy brown hair and warm eyes was facing you.

“You two alright?” James asked and you watched as Sirius glanced at you before grinning, taking the attention of you for a moment.

“I’m brilliant, mate. Merlin, mother’s going to be furious with me!” Sirius exclaimed and you couldn’t help but join in as Remus and James laughed, feeling some of the tension leave you.

You were a Gryffindor. There was nothing you could do to change that, no amount of angry words or letters could change that now. So instead you let yourself enjoy your first night at Hogwarts, pushing all thoughts of your family aside as you laughed with Sirius and the two others who would all become your best friends before the year was finished.

Over the years James had watched you closely. He had known when he was eleven that you were special, had known you were important. You were one of his best friends, he was always going to look out for you.

At thirteen he realised he liked you, at fourteen he realised he loved you. He never said anything though, he didn’t want to risk losing you. Every time somebody brought up love or crushes you always shut down, tuning the conversation out and refusing to take part, it didn’t matter how much they teased and nudged you, you never spoke about it.

James had been curious for a while, he’d even gone to ask you about it a few times but Sirius always seemed to know when he was going to, pulling him aside and distracting him with something or just subtly shaking his head when James approached you.

It took a while but eventually Sirius realised James was going to keep asking you so he waited until you’d gone up to bed and told him about your parents. Of course James already knew about them, he’d watched you rant about them, watched you tense up when the family owl flew into the Great Hall, watched how you stopped eating and zoned out when the school year was over and you knew you’d be going back to them.

Once Sirius told him James figured it made sense why you thought love was stupid. His heart ached that you thought all relationships were doomed, that the only example you had was set by those who married for status and not for love.

James wanted to change your mind. He wanted you to see that love was real, that it was a good thing, that it could work.

He went to bed that night with his thoughts racing, knowing he had all summer to come up with a way to get you to believe in love.

By the time autumn had arrived James had created and thrown out more plans than he could recall. He didn’t have a solid idea by the time he boarded the train and sat down next to you, his smile softening when he saw how tired you looked, knowing how draining the summer was for you at home.

He decided then and there that he didn’t need some elaborate plan, he didn’t need the others to help him come up with one either. All he had to do was show you that counting on somebody, that spending time with them and letting yourself fall wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Here.” He murmured to you, the word nearly getting lost in the noise of the train, everybody excitedly greeting each other as they made their way into compartments.

You looked over at James, eyebrows knitting together as you looked at him. James couldn’t help but grin as your face lit up when you took one of the cupcakes James held out to you, something Mrs Potter had taken to making and sending him off with at the beginning of the third year.

You and James easily fell into conversation, James careful not to ask too many questions about your summer even as you asked about his. Sometimes you did talk about it but it was usually in the early hours of the morning when everyone else had gone to bed, you and him alone in the common room feeling like the secrets you shared there were safe to say.

It wasn’t long before Remus and Sirius joined the two of you and soon enough you were back at Hogwarts, happy to be back home.

“Come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?” James asked as he caught up to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder when he saw you leave the Great Hall.

You looked up at him with a smile, a smile that James loved putting on your face and swore he’d keep there. You didn’t move from under his arm letting him lead you out of the castle, if anything you shifted closer to him when the autumn air hit you.

“Don’t we always go to Hogsmeade together?” You asked, raising your eyebrow at him questioning.

“No, we always go with Sirius and Remus.” James told you and it was true, all four of you always went together unless Sirius was trying to impress a girl but that usually ended with him finding you all a few hours later. “I’m asking you to come with me.”

You stayed silent for a moment, feeling a wave of nerves run through you. You’d known for a long time now that you liked James. You hadn’t wanted to admit it to even yourself for so long but you couldn’t deny the fact that he was the one you sought out after a bad day, he was the one you went to for a distraction, he was the one you looked for when you entered a room, he was the one who took a weight of your shoulders upon seeing him after spending the summer with your family.

You loved James and it terrified you.

Nothing good could come from it. You knew what relationships turned into, you had watched as even the best intended relationships turned cold and cruel. You couldn’t have that happen between you and James, you’d rather never tell the man how you felt than watch as you and he turned into something dark and twisted.

And yet even with the sliver of fear you felt you had never been all that good at denying James Potter of anything he asked for.

“So,” James stretched the word out when you had gone too long without answering him. “Will you come with me?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you.” You told him, a small smile on your face as you felt excitement mix with your nerves and fear.

A few days later found you pacing the lengths of your room, thankful that the other girls had left for breakfast, leaving you alone to freak out about going out with James. You don’t know why you were so nervous, it was just James and it wasn’t a date.

Yet some hopeful, traitorous part of you wished it was.

“You know he likes you right?” Sirius’ voice startled you out of your thoughts and you whipped around to face him, glaring at him for frightening you.

You’d ask how he even got into the girls dormitories but you had long since given up asking how Sirius did half the things he managed.

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” You told him stiffly, turning away from him to busy yourself with rifling through your trunk.

“Come off it Y/N/N. He’s a good lad, one of the best, he’ll treat you right. What’s so wrong with giving him a chance? I know you like him too.” Sirius sighed, moving further into the room and onto your bed.

“Don’t you think I know all that?” You snapped, glaring at your oldest friend before taking a deep breath and moving to sit next to him, letting him wrap his arm around you to pull you closer and resting your head on his shoulder. “I just, I can’t Sirius. I can’t risk losing him, I can’t risk falling into the same trap every other couple we know has, I won’t jeopardise what we have now for us to end up hating each other.”

“Y/N, you’re not going to end up like our parents. They never loved each other, you know that. You won’t be dating James because you’ve been ordered too, because he’s a pureblood who only calls about popping our heirs and looking good to other purebloods. Neither of you care about that stuff.” Sirius told you softly, resting his head on yours and letting his eyes fall shut as silence washed over the two of you.

“I really like him.” You finally confessed, voice barely louder than a whisper but Sirius heard, a sad smile spreading across his face.

“I know you do. Go out with him, enjoy yourself, let yourself be happy.” Sirius said and you nodded, taking a moment to gather yourself before pulling yourself off the bed.

“See you later?” You asked as you slipped a robe on, ducking into the bathroom to check yourself one last time.

“I wanna hear all about it!” Sirius grinned as you rolled your eyes, heading down to the common room and seeing James waiting for you.

“You ready?” He asked, a smile spreading across his face as he saw you and you smiled back nodding. “You look beautiful by the way.”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, your smile turning shy as you ducked your head, following him out of the common room.

“Thank you.” You said softly, suddenly so unsure how to act around James despite having been friends for years. “You look good too.”

The walk through Hogwarts was silent, James wondered if he was making the right call. He knew how nervous you were, Sirius had been distracted all morning and only settled once he announced he was going to check on you. Your fears were clearly deeper than he had originally thought but then he looked over at you and knew he would never regret this.

He just had to hope you didn’t regret it either.

“You remember the first time we came here?” James asked you with a smirk, watching as you rolled your eyes again but your smile widened and that’s all James needed.

“I’d known you for two weeks, you can’t blame me for being cautious!” You defended yourself, James laughing and the sound made you relax a little bit.

“You were terrified.” James grinned and you nudged his shoulder.

“We were eleven, who gives an eleven year old an invisibility cloak?”

“I told you we’d make a rebel out of you.” You and James continued talking and laughing, reminiscing on your years at Hogwarts until you were completely relaxed, no nerves or fear running through you as you let yourself fall into the familiar comfort of James’ company.

After that day at Hogsmeade you decided not to overthink every decision you made. Of course one outing didn’t automatically fix everything you believed but you were willing to at least follow Sirius’ advice of giving it a try. You were still terrified of losing James, of turning into your parents but you also really wanted to be with James.

So one outing turned into two then three until months had passed and you and James were spending all your free time together, of course that didn’t deviate from your usual schedule but this year it was different. This year it was filled with shy glances and gentle brushing of hands which neither of you were brave enough to grab, it was filled with sneaking out and wandering the grounds together, of somehow getting to know each other more which you hadn’t thought possible.

Tonight the two of you sat outside by the black lake, James had enlisted the help of the others to make a picnic, getting as much food as the house elves would give them and setting up a spot for the two of you.

The food had long since been eaten and the sun was finally beginning to set. James rubbed his hands on his thighs, desperately trying to remember the speech he had planned earlier but coming up empty each time.

You looked out at the water, at some point you had shifted closer to James and rested your head on his shoulder. If somebody would have told you you’d be here months ago you’d have laughed in their face but now it felt right, everything about these last few months felt right.

Falling in love with James Potter felt right.

“You okay?” You murmured softly, not wanting to disturb the peace but James had been quiet for a while now and you hadn’t missed how nervous he’d seemed throughout dinner.

James wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was amazing, he was sat with the girl he loved leaning against him, so happy for every second he got to spend with you and yet he was also nervous because he was so desperate to tell you how he felt, needing you to know that he loved you, to know you were his world.

“James?” You said again, moving so you could look over at him.

“I love you.” James blurted out, his eyes widening at the same time as yours did.

He hadn’t meant to say that, well ok he had but he had a whole speech, he was going to ease you into it. The last thing he wanted was to scare you off and have you leave him.

“James,” You said softly, shocked at his words that left you equal parts nervous and overjoyed.

“No, wait, just let me…” James trailed off with a sigh before sitting up and turning to face you properly. “I know you don’t think this is going to work, I know you look at your mum and dad and hate what they have but that’s never going to be us. We’re choosing each other because we want to, not because of something as stupid as blood purity. I know you're scared but let me show you how good we can be.”

James watched you closely, part of him expected you to bolt but then he watched your face soften into a smile, he watched as the tension that had built in your shoulders left and you looked at him like it was your first time really seeing him.

James Potter was watching you believe for the first time.

Believe in him, believe in love, believe that he could be the one for you, believe that it wouldn’t end in spite and hatred but it could just be love.

“I love you too.” You finally said and James let out a surprised laugh, a grin spreading across his face as he stared at you.

You were in love with him.

“Can I please kiss you?” He asked, his voice coming out more of a beg causing you to laugh softly as you nodded, shifting closer to him and savouring the feeling of his palm cupping your cheek, memorising the way his thumb ran across your cheekbone as he held you like you were a prized possession.

“I really love you.” He murmured before pressing his lips to yours.

He had been waiting for so long to kiss you and now that he finally knew how your lips felt against his he knew he’d never be able to go without. One taste and he was addicted. The kiss was soft but eager, the two of you gripping each other, desperately trying to get as close as you could.

When you finally pulled away you were both panting for breath, James rested his forehead against yours to keep you close to him, not ready to let you go yet.

“So you’ll be mine then?” James asked breathlessly and you couldn’t help but smile brightly at him as you nodded. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this, I’m gonna spend the rest of our lives proving this will last, that it will always feel this good.”

You really hoped James was able to keep his promise, the way he made you feel in this moment was enough to push any doubts out of your head. How could something that feels this beautiful ever turn into something so dreadful? You wanted to believe that love wasn’t like that and you were more than happy to let James be the one to prove it to you.

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quidditch games; j.p.

pairing: james potter x fem!gryffindor!reader

synopse: in moments of frusturation, not even your rivalry with james will get in the way of the victory

warnings: sort of rivals to lovers?, swearing, a little of wolfstar, fluffy fluff

word count: 1.6k

a/n: i had so much fun writing this. please beware that i understand NOTHING of quidditch :)

.

James was breathing hard. His ears were ringing with the howling of the wind, and his eyes tried to focus on the game.

It was the last quidditch game of the season, and it was not going well. The game was hot for both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw; the latter had come up with a new and brilliant tatic between the chasers and it was making James' life difficult. His hopes on winning the game were getting lower and lower, as the Ravenclaw seeker was significantly better than Gryffindor's. He was growing frustrated.

So far it was tied, 78-78, but it seemed like the blue team was always one step ahead and-

And there it was. Another lost point.

Things started to get slightly violent about 30 minutes ago. James tried his best to keep his game clean, but it was hard when one of the Ravenclaw's players tried to hit him with his broom on the face. Yeah, the little shit was going to die after this.

Screaming was heard from all around the stadium and James was sure he heard McGonagall swear at everything and everyone, but elegantly of course.

He looked around, almost desperately. No, he was not going to loose this, he worked way too hard, and he wouldn't let anyone get in his way-

Except you, maybe. Yeah, you weren't exactly helping.

"You fucking arsehole! Right! You have to go to the right! Don't you fucking know how to read new tatics?!"

"Shut the fuck up, Y/L/N!"

Your relationship with James Potter was, to put it simple, complicated. Which was not simple at all.

Sometimes it seemed like you were about to kill each other, and others it was like you were about to snog on the wall. Usually, it was a strange mix of the two.

The tension was thick, and everyone was just waiting for it to snap.

"Why don't you fucking make me, you wanker?!" you yelled at him in anger.

You were currently leaning against the rail, your hands gripping it tightly, standing up. You were on one of the highest spots of the stadium, surrounded by students of all houses and all ages, right next to Remus. Remus sighed in exasperation in his seat when another screaming match was about to happen. They did this all the time.

When then Madame Hooch started to argue with one of the Gryffindor chasers and the Ravenclaw’s beaters because of another fault, the game stopped momentarily, and James flew to your level with a scowl on his face.

“So what do you think we should do? You really like to argue when you’re not even in the place to do so, don’t you? What the fuck do you think I’m trying to do? Loose?” James seethed.

“Oh, you’re not? Could’ve fooled me,” you huffed.

You were close, faces inches apart. You kept glaring at the other, and for ten solid seconds, neither said anything. The wind was making your hair too messy and tangled up, and your cheeks were flushed. You had your eyebrows furred as you looked at the infuriating boy, and as hard as it was for him to admit it, you looked so beautiful.

Those around you quieted down, Remus even closed his book, as they looked at the two of you. Yells and screams could still be heard all over the place, as the other players were still arguing above you.

You sighed. “They always start with the opposite side of where they ended. Like a braid. The beaters do the absolute contrary to distract you when they throw the bludgers at you. You have to get your team’s shit together, Potter, you can still win this.”

James pressed his hands on his face and then brushed them through his hair. You could tell how stressed he really was. “I’m trying but I just can’t- I’m not sure the seeker can do it, and I don’t know-” his voice cracked. Your eyes softened at the sight.

You grabbed his face with your hands. “James Potter, you are going to fly up there and win this bloody game, got it? We both know you can, so stop doubting yourself, it won’t get you anywhere. Now get your arse back, it’s about to continue,” you fiercely said. 

James nodded, his face still cradled in your hands, and gave you an adorable grin. “Ah, what would I do without you and your annoying- and hot- self Y/L/N?”

“Get out of here, you dickhead,” you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help the smile that made its way towards your lips. James winked and flew away just as the whistle went off again.

You seated back next to Remus, ignoring the eyes on you, and trying to focus on the game. “Will you stop? Sirius might get jealous,” you told him.

“I’m just thinking,” Remus started, “How could you still not be together? I have a bet going on, and I don’t really like to lose to Padfoot.”

You grabbed his book and hit him in the head with it. Remus laughed but you ignored him. You could tell that they were playing better now, more neatly and precisely. They started to block the passes of the blue chasers more frequently and goal more often.

James was yelling around, giving instructions and tips and feedback on the plays and moves, organizing his team. You saw him fly up to the seeker momentarily and tell him something, give him a pat in the back, and he went back almost instantly, ready for the next goal.

10 minutes later, the game was 98 - 106 for Gryffindor, and, for the first time, the seekers quickly moved. It was the first significant appearance of the snitch, and the crowd went crazy. They were almost there- both seekers side to side upwards, hands extended and-

“-AND GRYFFINDOR WINS THE QUIDDITCH HOUSE CUP WITH 256 POINTS!” There it was.

You screamed in delight and jumped off your seat, bringing Remus with you, and hugged him. “We won! They won! He did it, Moony, he did it!” you laughed.

“That they did,” Remus yelled proudly, smiling widely.

“Party in our Common Room! I’m just kidding Minnie- Oh? Actually I am not!” Sirius screamed into the microphone of the commentator, his arms around an euphoric (and sweaty) James. 

“Come on, let’s go!” you pulled Remus with you.

.

The common room was wild. People everywhere, food, music, it was quite the party. You were currently waiting with Remus and Peter for the boys to come back, and everyone was very excited to see them. 

You were in the middle of laughing at something stupid Peter said when the portrait opened.

You immediately caught his eyes and took him in. His shining glasses, his black hoodie, which was matching his unruly hair. And while the others cheered, you tried to look for him, only to find him already looking at you.

You gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen, and waved excitedly at him.

James shaked his head and tried to make his way towards you. People were trying to talk, hug and congratulate the boy, but his mind was too preoccupied with something else. So, he started to rush in your direction and when you took notice of it, you went towards him as well.

As soon as you were close enough, James opened his arms and you jumped on him, involving your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. You laughed when he started twirling around with you in his arms “I told you! I fucking told you! This victory is basically mine, because without me, you would never- Hmph!”

James interrupted you by placing his lips on yours, and gave you a hard, loving kiss, pulling back when everything fell silent.

Your eyes widened. James fucking Potter just kissed you after all. But you soon got over the shock, and after one final glance at his honey eyes, you grabbed his face for the second time that day and kissed him back.

With all the cheers, the screams, the laughs, and the intoxicating feeling of James, everything blurred around you.

You could feel him smile into the kiss, and you giggled in it while running your hands through his soft locks. 

“Thank- kiss- you- kiss- so- kiss- fucking- kiss- much- kiss,” James said between kisses, the euphoric feeling from earlier still running through his body (along with a million butterflies).

You pulled back after a while, remembering that at least two hundred people were looking at you. Your cheeks flushed slightly at the thought but you didn’t really find it in you the energy to care.

“This doesn’t mean I don’t hate you though,” you breathed, eyes closed in a blissful way as James leaned his forehead on yours.

When you opened your eyes, however, he was looking at you happily. “Don’t worry, I hate you too,” James smirked. He then mumbled, “Smartass...”

“Oh, I’m sorry, what was that? ‘without Y/N we wouldn't even have come close to winning?’ What?” you teased him.

“Don’t get all proud of yourself now, it was me who played, after all, you didn’t do anything, besides seating there with Moony-” James pretended to be offended, but the twinkle in his eyes sold him out. He was still holding you, and your arms wrapped around him tightly, not wanting to let go. 

“Please, says the one who couldn't figure it out the other team’s play.”

James dramatically gasped. “Says the one who doesn’t even know how to ride a broom!”

“That’s what she said-”

“I know how to ride a broom, alright? What the hell do you even know about it? With the way you were first playing earlier it almost made me plead Hooch to send you back to the first years classes!”

“How fucking dare you-” James pouted and you laughed at his face. He beamed not even two seconds later and kissed you again, swaying the both of you from side to side.

“So this is what we have to endure now?” Remus sighed, wrapping one arm around Sirius' shoulders.

“Oh, I’m going to love this, they’ll never hear the end of this,” Sirius said excitedly. His eyes then widened. “Oh my god, Moons-- Are we like that?” Sirius asked, horrified.

“Yes!” yelled Peter.

And finally, everything was just how it should be.

the art of letting go; jp x sb x rl

pairing: james potter x sirius black x remus lupin

synopse:  James always wants to take care and love the others so much, that he sometimes forgets to do so with himself. thankfully, he has two amazing boyfriends to do so.

warnings: slight angst, panic attacks, self hate kinda, poly relationship, maybe peter redemption, hurt/comfort, too many italics

word count: 4k

a/n: long time no see :) literally love the idea of these three together. i’ve only read things where james is the one putting sirius and remus back together, so why not change that? also, if you don’t like, don’t read.

James always felt a necessity to care. To give. To love.

He had been this way since a little boy; always making sure his mum, Euphemia, and his dad, Fleamont, were alright, and helping with everything he could. 

This need only grew when he went to Hogwarts and met his friends, Peter, Sirius and Remus. Lily, Marlene, Dorcas. Even people he didn't know that well, from other houses. 

James always wanted to take care and love the others so much, that he sometimes forgot to do so with himself. 

. 

James had been feeling blue for a few weeks. Not that it mattered, his problems were nothing compared to the others. 

When Peter felt insecure about his body, James was there to tell him he was awesome, and that not everyone could have the same, intitulated perfect, body shape. He even got Peter going out with a pretty Hufflepuff in the meantime. None of the Marauders have been seeing much of Peter lately. 

When Sirius was enraged and frustrated with another less than caring letter from Walburga Black, James was there to make him smile again and go to the Honeydukes with him, just to cheer him up. James was there to hug him and tell him that he loved Sirius, and that he would always have him. Sirius never would stop grinning for the next few days when James was like this; always by his side, or on his lap, hugging him constantly.

When Remus was feeling closed off from the world, mind travelling back to dreadful bright moon nights, James would hold his Moony, would lull him to sleep and try to do his homework. James would fold his socks. James would convince the House Elfs to make Remus' favourite chocolate cake, and he, Sirius and Remus would stay up together, sharing cuddles and hugs (and kisses). 

So, yeah. James really should pull himself together because he didn't have the right to feel sad. To want to cry. To want someone to hold him instead. He had lovely parents, he was a star player in his quidditch team, girls and guys threw themselves at him left and right, and he had the bestest friends and boyfriends anyone could ask for. He had the perfect life, he always heard. 

"Honestly, James, you're just so amazing. I don't know what I would've done without you. You're just so perfect, your life's perfect," Peter once commented. "And you're really smart, which is also cool and-" 

James then tuned him out. Peter was lately spending less time with James, Sirius and Remus. James logically knew why; he had a girlfriend, he had made new friends, he wanted to give the rest of the Marauders space for their relationship. He had even started to sleep in Longbottom's dorm, which had a free bed, and the two of them had become the greatest of friends. Logically, James knew this. 

But, at the same time, he couldn't help but feel like he made something to draw Peter away. Like James failed. When, in reality, Peter would always be grateful to James to pull him out of his shell, and find the relationships that he was longing for. He had a beautiful, kind girlfriend. He had other friends. He felt at home with the Marauders. The bitterness that sometimes Peter would feel disappeared completely. Peter would always be grateful for having a friend like James. 

James just didn't understand this. And for that he would always disagree with Peter- James really wasn’t amazing. 

. 

At first, he could fake it. The sadness and the growing despair inside him. He would smile, he would joke, he would be confident. Even Padfoot and Moony, the ones that knew him the most, the ones that he loved the most, didn't really notice something at first. And why would they? Even James didn't know what was wrong. If he ignores it, it will go away, he's sure.

However, slowly, Sirius and Remus realised that something was wrong. They just didn't know how truly wrong it was. 

The first time it was after a Quidditch game against Hufflepuff. They had lost, and it was thanks to James. At least he thought it was. He couldn't get one goal right, and their point disadvantage was so big, that even after the red seeker catched the golden snitch, it wasn't enough to win. 

Remus thought it was just a bad game, even though he did find it odd. He couldn't see James' face from the standards, so he would have to wait until he could hug both of his boyfriends to give his signature comforting smile and say 'Don't worry, next time it will be better'. 

He had been waiting outside of the Griffindor's locker rooms, where the team would shower after the games, for about 15 minutes now. 

The door opened and Remus turned his head towards it's way, expecting to find a wet haired Sirius with his arm around a pouting James. Instead, he only found a frowning Sirius, and no James. 

"Where's Prongs?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow and opening his arms for Sirius. Being the tallest one with 6'3, Remus leaned his head on Sirius's, kissing his hair. Sirius, not very much behind on the height department being only 2 inches shorter, nuzzled his nose on Remus' chin. 

"Something's not okay, Moony," Sirius closed his eyes, frown deepening. 

"Watchu' mean?" Remus said, still looking towards the door to see his other love. 

"Prongs. James. His eyes... he was really sad." 

"Well, I mean, it wasn't the best game, I know, but-" 

Sirius pulled back slightly, mouth still frowning and eyes swimming with worry. "It's not that, Moons. He was just... I don't know, you'll understand when you see him, but he just kept his eyes down the entire time, said to the team that he was sorry for disappointing us, and went to the shower. He's still in there. He told me to come get you and for us to go get dinner and that he would meet us in the dorm. Something's not okay, Remus." 

It was now Remus' turn to frown. This wasn't like James. After a bad game, James would get out of that locker room, his hair wet and messy, glasses crooked, and his arms crossed, all while pouting like a child. He then would come into Remus arms, and ask demand him to carry him towards the dorm, not carrying who saw them. Sirius would be close behind, talking exasperatedly and dramatically about the game to Remus and James would sulk and hide his face on Moony's neck, while his legs would wrap around his waist. Being the smallest of the three at 5'10, this really wasn't a problem for Remus. 

But this didn't happen. Sirius and Remus shared a worried look but went to the Kitchens, hand in hand, to go get dinner and bring it to their dorm. They asked for an extra treacle tart for their bespectacled boy. 

And when James finally got there, almost half an hour later, with his eyes lost and a tired smile, neither said anything. They only held him and kissed him throughout the night.

  . 

  The second time it happened was during Transfiguration. It was known that James Potter was quite good at it, and it never failed to make Minnie very proud (insert a rolling of eyes and a reluctant smile by the elder professor). 

They were being given back their papers, the ones they did the previous week. McGonagall said that she was proud of the class, that they all did good. When it got to James' turn, she gave him the smallest smile, and continued to give their papers away. A big, bold red 'A' was written on the corner of the page. Acceptable. 

Huh, James thought. Okay then. He usually got an O, as he always did outstandingly well in these, but apparently he really wasn't that good. 

"Hey, Potter, how did you do? An 'O' again?" Lily Evans exclaimed from a few seats at the front, turning around and flashing her daring but nice smile. They had studied together for this paper. James noticed the 'O' on her paper. 

Students were talking excitedly to one another, eager to show their good grades. James looked at her and smiled weakly at her, but to others it seemed more of a bashful smile. "Not this time Evans, got an 'A'." 

He noticed the noise lower slightly, his friends  glancing his way with a curious look. Lily was surprised, but tried to hide it by shrugging it off while saying something akin to "Oh, that's also alright then". James knew she didn't mean it, but it sounded a little condescending, like when you're talking to a small child. He looked down at his red 'A' again. 

He was a good friend. He was good at Quidditch. He was bright at Transfiguration. At least he thought so. As the days passed, James was starting to doubt it. 

He missed the look Sirius and Remus gave him from each of his sides. He didn’t really notice the arm Sirius wrapped around his waist or the hand that Remus was now stroking. James could only hear the blood rushing through his ears, and he lost himself in his own head. He almost didn’t catch the dismissal from McGonagall. He unwrapped himself from his boyfriends hold and rushed out of the classroom, his paper grasped tightly in his hands. His ears were ringing, he didn't hear the calls of his name; McGonagall wanted to talk to him, having noticed his growing silence in her classes. Lily wanted to apologise, for having come off as rude, when she saw the glare Sirius sent her way. Peter wanted to show James his 'E', excited for his good grade. Dorcas and Marlene wanted to go on a walk, to tell him the newest gossip. Sirius and Remus just wanted their Prongs back, but he didn't hear them at all. 

  . 

  "I am scared, Rem," Sirius quietly admitted that night. 

"I know, Pads. Me too," he whispered, still running his fingers through James' raven hair. 

It was almost midnight. Peter was spending the night with his girlfriend, and while Sirius and Remus loved Peter, they were quite happy for the privacy. Especially now. 

James was on top of Remus, head resting on his chest. His back was towards Sirius, who wrapped his arms around James torso, cuddling into Remus' side. They had only found James hours after the Transfiguration incident, hidden under his Invisibility Cloak on his bed (even though it was their bed, transfigured into a bigger king size, so the three of them could sleep comfortably together). 

"I don't know what's wrong. He won't talk to me. To us. I just want our James back, Remus," Sirius continued, voice quivering from the lump in his throat. His eyes were suspiciously watery. 

"I know, love, I know," Remus sighed tiredly, kissing Sirius on the lips and pressing a long kiss on the top of James' head. 

Neither said anything when a lonely tear escaped James' eye. 

. 

Christmas was approaching now. Classes were ending today, and most of the students were happy to go back home and see their family. 

It was breakfast, and James was sitting next to Remus, Sirius across them along with Peter and Frank. James was munching on his toast quietly, head leaning on Remus' shoulder, while Remus wrapped his arm around James' waist. 

It was obvious to everyone now that James Potter was not okay. But one look at Sirius and Remus' faces and their opinions and thoughts would be immediately shut down. 

The boys were talking with Lily, Marlene and Dorcas when an owl came in and dropped a letter on James' lap. James cleaned his hand with his napkin and opened a letter that was clearly from his parents. He couldn't wait to go home. That was probably all he needed, to go home for a few days, and when he came back he would be completely normal again. At least, what was normal for James. 

He knew that his boyfriends were worried, if the constant affection and reassuring "I love you"'s were anything to go by. He loved them so much it hurt him, and he hated himself for doing this to them, but he couldn't do anything about it. He didn't know how to. James didn't even know what was wrong with him, why he was sad. 

James felt his heart stop at his mother's writing. 

  Dear, 

Your grandfather Henry passed this previous night. Monty and I will travel to London, for his funeral, this afternoon. It may be better for you to stay this Christmas at Hogwarts, sweetheart, as we'll only be back by next week to sort everything out.

We're really sorry dear, We promise we'll make up to you. Say sorry to Sirius and Remus for us, our celebration will have to wait. 

We love you. Merry Christmas.

Mum and Dad. 

  Oh. Okay then. 

James heard Remus' sharp intake of breath from beside him. He knew he was reading from over his shoulder. 

"Jamie-" 

"S' okay, Moons," James said, slowly removing Remus' arm from around him. 

"No, please wait-" Remus tried once more, reaching his arms towards his James. His James that was hurting badly and he couldn't do anything to stop it. 

The slight desperation in Remus' voice startled the others; if the usual calm and collected Remus Lupin was that worried, it was definitely not good. 

"I'll be right back, Rem. Don't worry." 

And with that James left the Great Hall. 

  .

  Hogwarts was almost empty by the end of the afternoon. The majority of the students went back home. Sirius and Remus stayed, refusing to go anywhere. 

The Gryffindor Common Room was filled with Christmas decorations to the brim. The light was dim, candles flying around. The harsh rain and wind from outside filled the silence. Being the only one there, Sirius was cuddled up under a big, cozy blanket, his and his boyfriends favourite, on his favourite sofa, looking longingly at the fireplace. He was waiting for James to return from wherever he went to hide. Remus was finishing his shower back in the dorm. 

It had been a while since Sirius was happy, as he couldn't when one of his favourite two persons wasn't. The quidditch game, the one where all of this started, had been today three weeks ago. The full moon was a week after that. It has been a difficult month in general. 

No matter how much he thought, Sirius didn't know what was wrong with James. He had always been proud of himself when it came too reading Remus and James. He knew them like the palm of his hand, they were his soulmates. It made him anxious not knowing what was wrong with one of them. 

The sound of a portrait opening shook him out of his thoughts, and Sirius snapped his head in the sound's direction. 

There, looking completely exhausted, was standing James Potter. His eyes were red, as if he'd been crying non-stop for hours. His breathing was loud, and Sirius was sure his lover's heart was beating way too fast. 

Sirius Black was completely terrified because, as he'd come to realise, James Potter was reaching his breaking point. James opened his mouth and Sirius held his breath. 

"Where's Remmy?" He asked quietly. So quietly that Sirius only heard him because they were the only ones there. Because the only thing that could be heard was the distant sound of rain and ravished breaths. Remus by now must have finished his shower. He must have, Sirius thought. 

"He's just finished showering, Prongsie," Sirius's voice trembled slightly. He was sure that still, James didn't notice. 

"Oh," his voice was soft, resembling the one of a small, innocent child, "Okay." 

James looked out of the window, eyeing the rain. His mind was slipping, James realised. James felt small and sad and desperate and so tired. He wanted to count the tiny drops of rain that were painting the dark sky. He wanted to scream. He wanted Sirius and Remus. His ears were ringing again and James would've laughed at the thought if he could. They have been doing that quite much lately. 

"I'm sorry-" James' voice broke. "I'm so so sorry, Siri. 

And James finally let go.

  .

  Sirius saw James fall to his knees, Sirius saw James crying. The crying became almost immediately heart wrecking sobs. 

Sirius jumped, and ran the fastest he ever had towards James. "Oh, my love," Sirius cried and pulled James into his arms. James gasped and pressed himself hard into Sirius body, as if trying to get out of his own and mold with him. Sirius was also crying in pain, as he could now see all of the despair James was in, but also in relief because he knew that this was necessary. James needed to break so he could heal. He needed to let go, and Sirius and Remus would be there to help pick up the pieces. It really was what he needed, what they all needed. 

"Sirius," James called, body trembling, crying hysterically. 

"I'm here, James, I'm here." 

Sirius couldn’t really register his voice yelling for Remus. He picked James up, and walked the fastest he could to their dorm. 

When he got there, Sirius threw the door open with one hand, the other still carrying James, who had legs wrapped tightly around the others waist, arms around his neck, hands mindlessly pulling at his hair, eyes tightly shut as the pain consumed him. James' sobs wouldn't subside, and his voice would be calling for either Sirius or Remus, saying that he was sorry and that he needed them and that he couldn't and that he was sorry again. 

"Remus!" Sirius frantically called. "Remus, Remus!" 

Remus rushed out of the bathroom shirtless, only having time to pull up his grey sweatpants. The sight in front of him would forever be the most heartbreaking thing in his life. Sirius with his eyes wide and hair completely messy, with tears running down on his face. His expression was of pain and fear. In his arms was a desperate James that sobbed and called for him, clinging to Sirius as if he needed him to survive. It was probably true anyway. 

"Remmy, please, I'm sorry-" James continued, stuck in his own mind. 

"I'm here baby, I'm here," Remus immediately rushed towards him, taking James into his arms to give Sirius some rest, and cupping his swolen, wet, red face with one hand. "You're okay now, Jamesie, we're here and we're not going anywhere. I love you." 

Remus went to their bed, holding James tightly. He leaned his back on the headboard, keeping James on his lap. Sirius went to the bathroom and he came back with a soft towel, tissues and a glass of water. He put all of the items on the little table besides their bed and pressed himself into Remus' side, who let go of his arm to wrap around the balck haired boy. Sirius pressed his face into the back of James' neck, kissing and murmuring words of love into it. He felt James' frantic heartbeat start to slow down after a few moments that seemed too long and Sirius released a sighed of relief. Remus, who was previously nuzzling his nose on James' head, threw his head back, leaning it on the headboard as well, looking tired. 

No one said anything for a few moments. The boys were waiting patiently for James to get out of his head, to collect his thoughts, to calm down. Sirius laced his fingers with Remus', who squeezed his hand. 

"It-it started at the beginning of-of November more or less," James started, stuttering and fumbling over his words. Sirius put his arm around James' belly, and stroked the exposed skin, as his hoodie had rolled up. "I just- started to feel over, overwhelmed at taking care of everyone, and I felt sad. But, but I thought it wasn't important compared to all of the-the shit you two and the others have to face sometimes. So I just ignored it and, and kind of suppressed it." James furred his eyebrows, trying to concentrate, but the trembling of his voice didn't seem to want to stop. 

"Shh, it's alright, baby, don't worry. Take your time," Remus quietly, but lovingly, reassured. 

James nodded, cuddling more into Remus' warmth and grabbing the hand Sirius had on his stomach. " And it just- and it just kept getting worse. I just kept feeling more sad , and I was just so afraid of hurting and disappointing you..." He trailed off, lonely teats still running through his face. "I guess I just stopped caring about me, to the point where I didn't know what to do." James' voice broke and his lovers held on tighter to him. 

He paused for a few seconds before he continued. "And when I went back to the Common Room, and saw Pads all cuddled up with our blanket... and, and he was frowning and his eyes were sad- I couldn't help but blame myself and feel like I disappointed you, and all of what I was trying to hold together these past few weeks just- just snapped." 

"Oh, love, " Sirius sighed, stroking his thumb over the hand he was holding. Sirius then sat up straight, turned James back to Remus' front, and moved so he was right in front of the other two. He then grabbed James' face with both of his hands, while Remus wrapped his arms around James' waist and rested his face on James' shoulder. "I want you to get this through inside that thick head of yours, alright?" Sirius quietly demanded. "You should never ever feel like you don't matter, okay? Your feelings are just as important as Moony's and mine. You shouldn't feel like you don't matter, my love, because you do." 

Remus lovingly kissed James' neck. "Padfoot's right, Jamie. And you could never disappoint us, baby, we love you so much." 

James nodded softly, trying to get their words inside. Yeah. He can do that. He teared his eyes from Sirius' handsome face and looked down. Wow. I am such a fool.

"James." Remus murmured, noticing his boyfriend getting lost in his mind again. He continued to press small kisses to the raven haired boy. First his neck, then behind his ear. His jaw, his cheek, his temple and his hair. Just letting him know that he would always take care of his boy. Remus and Sirius would show James forever that he matters. That he is loved, that he is bewitching, smart and beautiful. Never again, Remus repeated in his mind.

Sirius lifted James' head once again and stroked his cheek adoringly. His hazel eyes were slightly dazed as he looked at Sirius. James gave him the littlest and sweetest smile. He looks so small, Sirius' mind echoed. And so precious. His boyfriend was absolutely adorable like this. In Remus' lap the size difference stood out; his hair was a mess and his glasses were crooked. His eyes were reddened and occasional sniffles were heard. His oversized black hoodie made the scene all the more cute. Not resisting, Sirius kissed James deeply and delicately, still stroking his face. Remus sighed contentedly and continued to press small kisses to whatever skin came across.

They stayed like that for a while. Throwing meaningful words of love and touches of affection. It was not until James finally slumped against them, with closed eyes and slow breaths, that Remus and Sirius pulled back and layed down, pressing James between them before all of them went to rest.

Sirius kissed Remus forehead and Remus kissed Sirius lips. Both of them pressed many tiny kisses into James' head, watching a peaceful smile appear. And it was then that it was clear:

James would always be okay, with his Remus and his Sirius, as long as he learned to just let go.

Sweeter Than Fiction

James Potter x muggle fem!reader

Summary: After months of dating, James finally tells you he's a wizard.

Genre: Fluff <3

pt.2 to Enchanted

Warnings: tbh none

6 months later, James is sprawled out on your couch in your small London apartment. He's dressed in your university sweater, which hugs him snugly but he doesn't seem like he minds. You'd switched into his so he doesn't have much of a choice anyway.

He's pretending to really read the book he had found on your dresser but he keeps his eyes trained on how absorbed you seem in the show you're watching.

James sees the title; "Sabrina The Teenage Witch". He smiles to himself when he sees you try and wiggle your nose like she does and you fall back onto James lap, sighing. 

"D'you think I'd make a good witch?" you ask suddenly and his heart almost collapses. 

He runs a hand in your hair, playing with the strands as he ponders your question, "Mmm, yeah, you would, lovie," he says and chuckles when you sit up and start to ramble. 

"I mean, can you just imagine having magic! I could–I could make all this mess disappear instantly!" you exclaim happily, gesturing to your slightly messy apartment, and then look into his eyes, "wouldn't having magic be fun, Jamie?" 

James frowns. You say it so innocently but he starts to wonder if you could know? It has been months.

He sits up, tilting his head at you. He's been wanting to tell you he's a wizard for a while now, plus James wouldn't admit this out loud yet but he knows he wants to marry you and you deserve to know the truth before he asks you to spend your life with him, don't you? 

"Y/n," he whispers but you interrupt him. 

"And I mean, flying on a broom! How silly! Can't you just imagine it?" 

James smiles, completely endeared, "Yeah, I can," he tucks some hair behind your ear and reaches into the back pocket of his jeans. He pulls out his wallet and you stare at him confused as he holds out a folded old polaroid. He hands it to you.

"What's this?" you ask curiously, crossing your legs.

At first, it looks like a simple picture of a group of boys. There are four of them and they look around sixteen if you had to guess. The tallest has his arms crossed and he's standing in the middle as the boy to his right, a shorter boy with long dark hair, has his arm swung around him. A short, stout boy looks timidly at the camera next to the taller one and next to him, what looks like a young James is happily grinning and holding up a fancy looking broom in triumph. James and the longer-haired boy are dressed in a maroon and yellow sports uniform while the other boys are dressed in simple school uniforms. 

The picture seems relatively normal for a second until it starts to move. James in the picture lifts the  broom and the long-haired boy continues to hug the taller one. You gasp, dropping the picture onto the couch and it flutters to the back where you see written, "Prongs, Wormtail, Moony, and Padfoot, Hogwarts 1976."

"What the hell?" you whisper, voice breaking, and you think you must be imagining things. You look up at James, who is staring at you intently. "James? W-why did that polaroid just move?" you ask and James's stare softens. 

He picks up the polaroid and smiles, he shows it to you again. "That's me and my best friends at school," he says but when he looks at you, his smile falters. You look terrified, "Love, it's okay it's just a picture."

"No, it isn't. It's moving!" you say, leaning away from him a little.

James's chest tightens. "I know," he says seriously, "Promise not to panic, okay? But, I'm a wizard." 

He says it so calmly you're silent for a moment until you start to laugh. You laugh so hard tears brim in your eyes and James is concerned.

He holds your cheeks in his hands. "No, Y/n, I mean it. I'm a wizard," he stands and walks to his jean-jacket hanging in the entrance. He pulls out his wand and points it at you.

You look scared again when he mutters an unfamiliar word and suddenly, you feel a drizzle of snow fall over your shoulders and unless your ceiling disappeared and it's snowing in July, you know it has to be James. 

You let out a shriek and cover your mouth as your eyes widen. James lowers his wand and rushes over, the snow disappearing. "It's okay. I promise I won't hurt you, lovie," he pauses and carefully sits next to you. He's relieved when don't scoot away from him, "I couldn't keep this from you anymore. I love you. You deserve to know who I am."

You're looking at him intensely and you pick up the polaroid again, examining it closer. After a moment you look up and narrow your eyes. You press your index on where James is in the picture. "Why are you holding a broom?" you ask simply and James almost laughs. 

"Gryffindor had just won an important Quidditch match, I think."

"Gryff-what won what?"

"Um, my house- um. Quidditch it's a sport. Where you—um, ride a broom."

You look at him and James can't read your expression.

"You can fly on a broom?" you suddenly ask, sounding less nervous now. You look at the picture and then you crack a smile. "You do look cute all dressed up," you put the polaroid near his ear, almost as if you're making sure the boy in the picture is actually James.

Your boyfriend nods and looks at you wearily, biting his lip. He has so much he wants to say. "So, have you always been a witch—" you ask.

"Wizard," he interrupts but you ignore him.

"—or did some creepy troll turn you into one? Oh my, are you the only witch to exist?" you sound almost excited now.

"Wizard," James says and then takes the picture from your hand and holds yours in his. "And no. I'm not. All my friends and family are. You believe me, yeah?"

You think for a moment. "Yeah," you shrug, looking up at the ceiling and then the wand in James's other hand, "you did make it snow, didn't you?" your smile widens and you point at his wand as you say, "Can you make it snow again! Or show me another spell. Please?"

James hesitates but when he sees a small scab on your hand from where you'd cut yourself earlier, he mutters a spell he knows by heart from all the Quidditch tumbles he's had and the wound suddenly disappears. 

Your eyes widen and you hold up your palm awkwardly. You look where the scab had been, mesmerized as you run your fingers over the now, non-existent, wound. 

"I know this is a lot for you to understand now, lovie. But, I want to explain everything. Anything you want to know," he says seriously and you look back up at him. 

You ask question after question, the reality of the situation becoming even more intense as you hear stories from his school and how unfamiliar he had been about "muggles" until he'd met his ex-girlfriend and then, well, you. 

"So, wait, witches and wizards exist and we– muggles? –just don't know?" you say after his little speech and James nods. He's sitting criss-cross in front of you on your couch and he's running his thumb over your hand, hoping his gesture is reassuring. You look confused, "Aren't you gonna get in trouble with the—"

"Ministry of Magic for telling you?" James finishes, understanding what you're trying to ask him.

You nod. 

James shakes his head and looks into your eyes. "No, because I didn't just tell anyone. You aren't some random person on the street, lovie. You're my girlfriend and I love you. I'm glad you know," he kisses your forehead quickly and you lean up to catch his lips. 

"I'm glad I know too," you smile and caress his cheek. It's your way of showing him you don't see him any differently. You turn to the polaroid picture still in your lap and pick it up. "I can't wait to meet more of your wizard friends now," you smile. 

James smirks, a twinkle in his eyes. "You already have, darling," he says. 

You look closer at the picture and your eyes widen, "No way!" you exclaim looking up at James in disbelief as you start to recognize two of the other boys in the picture. "Remy and Siri too?!"

James chuckles and nods. You turn the polaroid over again and look at the names scribbled in ink. "Then what's up with the weird nicknames? Prongs? Is that you?" you deduce from the order. 

James hums and kisses your temple as he pulls you in closer.

"Why Prongs?" you ask, pointing both your index fingers and putting them on your head, "like little devil horns? Or a fork?" you giggle at the last suggestion and James is entirely enchanted by you. 

He looks at you fondly and chuckles, "Like stag antlers, lovie."

"Why?"

"Because I can turn into a stag, if I wanted to," James explains slowly, realizing he'd forgotten to mention that tiny detail.

"You WhAT?!"