Peter: Ladies, Gentlemen, And Those In Between, This Is Your Pilot Speaking. Dont Panic, Im Going To

Peter: Ladies, gentlemen, and those in between, this is your pilot speaking. Don’t panic, I’m going to be flying the jet today. Uh, wow, that’s a lot of buttons. That’s a LOT of buttons!

Scott: *is not amused*

Peter: Just kidding! Stop glaring at me babe, jesus.

Villain: We have your Mom.

Kurt: Which one?

Villain: ...what?

Kurt: You heard me.

Villain: Blue skin, yellow eyes, a weird skull thing on her head?

Kurt: Oh, you mean my ren! Yeah, no, you don’t have them. They have you.

Luna: Ocko, Dad . . .

Luna: I think I’m a lesbian.

Pietro: Kid, we love and support you no matt—

Scott: *unable to resist* Hi Lesbian, I’m Dad!

Pietro: *slaps Scott*

Imagine It: Peter and Scott constantly trying to get some time alone but it’s always ruined by Alex coming and glaring (“no it’s just a friendly look”) at Peter 👀👀

The thing is, Alex always does it in a way that would never alert Scott. He’ll stand behind Scott, threaten Peter when Scott isn’t there, etc. Scott spends the first five years of their relationship genuinely thinking that Peter is messing with him. This is how he found out:

Wanda: *visiting the manor* Why is the blond dude glaring at Pietro?

Jean: Alex has been glaring at Peter since he started dating Scott.

Scott: *realization* Oh my god. I’m so sorry, honey!

Peter: I need you to say that again, it’s going to be my new ringtone.

Peter: I’m Pietro, but I go by Peter.

Jubilee: I’m Jubilee.

Peter: So…

Jubilee: My best friend is really cute.

Peter: MOOD.

Jubilee: I want to marry Jean!

Peter: I want to have Scott’s children!

Jubilee: THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE BUT I WANT TO HAVE JEAN’S!!!

Peter: WE’RE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS!!!

Jubilee: YES!!!!!!

Hank: I’m a doctor, not a dad–

Scott: You’re wasting your breath, just sign my permission slip.