My Boy! My Baby Noodle...

My boy! My baby noodle...

Where's my shotgun! I'm gonna fuckin murder someone!

I'm gonna riddle their entire fuckin body with every shell I got, and with every fiber of my fuckin being I'm gonna-

Glitch has been banned for being bat shit insane.

I dunno man… blorbo needs a bandaid

BRANDED DOGMA

Page 1/Page2

Emilia's feet tapped against the stone stairs as she found herself ascending a stairwell before stopping in front of her door and opening. She closed the door as she entered while also beginning to remove her attire. She started with the over-shirt, then the gown as she also entered her closet as we see the gown go flying before she came out in a white shirt, black shorts, and wearing a gold-laced red jacket before sliding the hood on. She smiled softly before turning her head as she saw a set of knights armor with the emblem of the golden wings emblazoned on the breast plate. 

Emilia grabbed it before beginning to attach it. Emilia never understood why Roze always complained about the tightness against her chest when she wore it, Emilia’s fit perfectly. Then again, considering how “endowed” Roze was in her body that- made a lot more sense as emilia thought about it more carefully.

Emilia soon left her room and began walking down the stairs as her armor lightly clinked as her hood covered her head.

She soon stopped at a large grand door in a large dark hallway, she examined the door with her noticing a small gray lock that pulsed a soft blue. “An absorption lock” the thought crossed her mind as she put a hand to her chin as she stood there for a while, thinking. 

Suddenly footsteps are heard as emilia looked and saw a shadow back behind her- illuminated, possibly by lantern- getting bigger. Emilia quickly looked around the shadowy hall before finding a crevice that she managed to sneak into. As we see a spectacled calico Lyonius holding a lantern, her hair was a mix of black, orange, and white as same colored cat ears popped out, she wore a black robe that stops just at her waist, as well as wearing a white shirt and pants that had a hole to allow the rather fluffy calico tail she had. She continues walking down the hall as she has a satchel across her shoulder. She soon stopped at the gran door as she took out a small white key from her satchel before inserting it in the lock while handing the lantern to her tail as it wrapped around the handle. Yet as she would normally start unlocking she instead stopped and sighed to herself before turning to the crevice Emilia was in and snapped her finger as a small white flame lit up just in front of the crevice as she saw a nervous Emilia who waved.

“H-hey Carol! H-how did you guess I was here?” Emilia asked as Carol narrowed her eyes at the young woman. “You were breathing, I can hear everything, remember?” Carol answered as she pointed to the calico cat ears on her head with Emilia laughing awkwardly as she nodded slowly.

Carol grumbled softly before turning back to the lock as soon a click was heard. “You better say what you need in the library right now or I'll just go in without you.” Carol spoke as emilia crawled out of the crevice before clearing her throat. “I need a tome on magic. It has to do with the recent attack.” Emilia replied as Carol looked at her before nodding as soon the door opened. 

“Go find your tome.” Carol said as Emilia smiled as she went in to hug her before being met with a hand to her face as Carol looked at her with a cold stare. “I want it back by the next moonrise, got it?” she added as Emilia nodded slowly with Carol pushing her off as she walked Into the library as the sight of hundreds of books and tomes stood before Emilia, who soon went in as well.

Emilia traced her fingers across the spines of the many books as Carol watched closely as she sat in a nice soft chair. She grabbed her glasses before taking them off as her emerald colored eyes glowed. “The tome your gonna want is on the top shelf.” Carol spoke as Emilia stopped and looked at her. “I forget you have those glasses to dampen your vision.” Emilia replied as Carol chuckled softly.

Emilia walked off before coming back with a rolling ladder before setting it against the shelf as she soon scaled it as she the book with text scrawled across the spine of it, “magic, the building blocks of camakol”.

Emilia grabbed it before sliding down the ladder and landing on her feet. “Thank you Carol.” Emilia spoke as she turned to Carol who simply nodded as Emilia walked to the grand door before stopping. 

“I'll see if I can get Tate to finally catch the hints you've been giving him” Emilia added as she winked at Carol who went red in the face as she looked at Emilia and was about to say something before the grand door closed behind Emilia after she walked out.

The scene changed as Ryuga sat in his cell, panting, his hot breath very clear. Ryuga could feel his body burning, as if hot coals had continuously dragged themselves across his skin. He continued panting as he looked out through his cell as the metal bars blocked him.

Metal, a material ryuga knew the sensation of all too well, he raised his hands as the shackles bound themselves to his wrists with chains clinking. 

“Maybe? no, that just wastes time. But perhaps-” the Draknian was interrupted as he heard a door and footsteps. He anticipated the strange scarred man who called him lupin.

Lupin, the Draknian didn't know why but that name. It left him feeling hollow. As if a piece of his body was just taken. Not ripped, no he'd feel pain if that was the case when he heard the name, not stolen, he'd feel angry if that was it when he heard it. Just, taken.

The sound of footsteps stopped as Ryuga looked and saw her, not the blonde woman who gave him his name, but the woman who struck him so hard that the pain of the moment was forever burned into his head. Her red hair hung lazily across her shoulders as her Lilac eyes stared into his white eyes.

“So. I presume you're going by Ryuga?” Roze spoke lowly as the Draknian simply nodded with Roze scowling. “Well then. I guess it's good to know each other's name. I'm Roze Polnette. I am the dragmati knight of ashcadia. It's a..” Roze spoke before trailing off as she looked around before stopping on Ryuga's chest as she noticed a necklace that held a pearl in it.

Ryuga didn't even care if the human stopped speaking as he was making sure to remember her name. Roze, ironic. A beautiful name for a person who seems to not share that same beauty.

The sound of a book hitting the table is heard as it cuts to Emilia sitting at a table in her room as she hesitantly grabs the front cover of the book before slowly opening it and begins reading its contents. 

“Magic is divided into three aspects, destruction, manifestation, and melding. Yata yata magic is harnessed in and controlled by a sigil, so where is the page discussing melding magic?” Emilia questioned as she kept turning pages. Her eyes scanning each page. 

Ryuga and Roze continued to stare at each other before a loud BOOM is heard as Roze ran out and up the stairwell as Ryuga looked confused. 

Roze ran passed a door that soon opened with a suit of armor flying towards her before equipping itself to her. We see the pair of golden wings emblazoned on the gauntlet as the breastplate seemed to have been modified to be bigger.

Roze soon arrived in the main church building as she saw hundreds of fellow knights running outside of the church weapons at the ready with father modius seemingly praying as Roze ran up to him.

“Father! What's happening? Is it another attack?” Roze asked her voice soaked in worry as father modius stared at her with his blue eyes. “No, it's the brigade. They're here for some reason.” Father modius spoke as Roze went wide eyed as she remembered a certain woman with black hair and her wielding some form of long ranged weapon as she remembered the barrel of it with a blade coming from the bottom.

Roze ran outside as her armor was spewing out white flames as the sight of a hundred knights on the ground was displayed as a man wearing the mask of a raven's beak was sitting on top of them as his azure eyes seemed to display boredom, his hair was faded gold as he wore a dark blue robe that had the silhouette of a falcon on the back.

The man heard the clanking of armor as he looked in the direction it was coming from only to see a burning white ball of flame heading towards him with him standing up as large mechanical wings unfurled from his back as blue flames sprung forth from the wings.

The man reached behind his back before taking out two short swords as the burned with that same blue flame with the man leaping towards the fire ball before clashing with it as he sees Roze's lilac eyes staring into his eyes with murderous intent.

“Shrigg!” Roze roared as the man Shrigg proceeded to shove her away as his wings flapped in the air. Roze landed on the ground skidding to a halt as she glared at shrigg.

“I see your temper is still scorching Roze.” Shrigg spoke as he floated in the air, his metal wings flapping as blue flames plumed out of them. Eventually the wings folded as they almost vanished.

Roze narrowed her eyes at him, she then heard footsteps as tate was seen running towards shrigg as he formed a large gauntlet around his hand as we see he wore a suit of armor that had a red cape coming out of the back with the emblem of golden wings being present on it. 

“You leave my friend alone you heretic!” Tate roared before a flash of orange stopped him as a tiger Lyonius stood before him as she reared back her hand before we see a large metal fist emerge as she punched Tate in the face with it.

Tate was sent back as he grumbled with him getting a better look at the Lyonius, her long striped tail flicked back and forth as she wore black cargo pants and a faded orange binder around her chest revealing her midriff, her eyes were cover by a pair of goggles as her tiger ears stood proud amongst her orange hair.

“Nah ah big fella, boss is here on official business, can't have you dragmati punks getting in the way.” The Lyonius spoke as Roze stared at her, her eyes wide.

“Thank you Kathy, do you think you can handle them?” Shrigg asked as the Lyonius, Kathy, turned to him and despite her goggles it was clear she had stars in her eyes as she nodded profusely with shrigg chuckling softly as his wing unfurled as he fly up into the air as Tate and Roze stood with the two readying themselves.

Emilia continued flipping through pages but seemed frustrated before slamming the book closed as she groaned in frustration. “I've skimmed through every page and all I've got is stuff I already know!” Emilia spoke to herself as she rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration. She got up and began pacing around, muttering to herself. 

She soon stopped as she didn't know why but felt… doom, as if the presence of death stood just beyond her door. She knew this feeling before. From one man, one heretic. She grabbed the door before flinging it open and running out as she saw him, his faded gold locks were unmistakable even after everything, as his piercing azure eyes turned to look at her.

“Shrigg, funny seeing you here.” Emilia said as shrigg turned to her as he took off his mask revealing his scarred jaw as he stared at her.

“Emilia. Or is it sister Emilia now since you've taken my spot? I truly can't remember.” Shrigg spoke calmly as emilia revealed her sigil before a white greatsword formed with her grabbing it once fully formed. She stared him dead in the eyes with his azure eyes piercing her scarlet eyes.

(End of “Branded Dogma” page 2)

Imaginary insanity technique: DOOR TO DOOR SALESMAN.

"all unhinged doors in a fifty mile radius are immediately repaired and given a new coat of paint. As well as whenever a door opens a shikigami appears and trys to sell insanely redundant or completely useless items, like a vactoaster."

Neo weapon is called HUSH.

Jaune song in Vol. 9 is called QUIET.

CRWBY...

My feet are quaking.

So like here's a fun fact, so with the apparent proof that I don't like how bmblb was handled and the fact I ship dragonslayer and Blacksun you may assume i just hold a deep hatred towards bmblb.. no actually. It's much weirder

So I don't hate bmblb, which you'd think I would and I wouldn't blame you. But I'm more neutral. I wouldn't touch this ship with a ten foot poll but that's more due to the fear of fucking up when it comes to writing them.. plus also because I'm a straight man who has admitted he can't write women to save his ass and especially sucks at writing queer characters. So you can imagine how intimidating it is to write a combination of both.

But alas my incompetence has come to humiliate me.. because I'm gonna try and write a short bmblb fic.. like really short, like Tumblr fic-

"OK WE FUCKING GET IT."

Alright fine I'll get to the meat and potatoes.

I wanna write like one bmblb fic, but to be honest?

Writing Blake and yang is fucking intimidating. Especially writing their relationship.

I say this because I'm a guy right? Straight one too, so I feel like I'm walking a fine line on making it seem I actually care about writing their relationship.. and fetishizing their relationship which.. ya know it isn't exactly a decent thing to do regardless of gender or sexuality.

But that's all.

A chuckle can be heard as one Bleiss schnee walks in. her twin axes while seeming clean, reeked with the stench of blood.

Bleiss: hi there. Now dont think theres gonna be any negotiating. You see you kidnapped my husband, threw him in this cramped dusty hut, and proceed to torture him. All just for me to come here, just to get back my darling, only to have to massacre your men, which stained my poor axes.

Everyone was quiet as jaune just smiled warmly at Bleiss, with the woman smiling back at him before continuing.

Bleiss: so after all that, I've made up my mind, I'll just kill you, take my darling husband, and then burn this filthy hut to the ground.

The goons were practically shitting themselves as jaune just simply spoke to the group of thugs.

Jaune: this is what happens when you kidnap someone who has a wife that is more than willing that is more than willing to be the shit out of you.

One branwen tribe massacre later:

Jaune and Bleiss were walking away as jaune carried her bridal style.

Jaune: how was that meeting with your sister.

Bleiss: well we had to cut it short after Nora called us that you got kidnapped. And yang calling Weiss about how she noticed some weird activity going on in one of the branwen tribes camps. Me and her put two and two together. But outside of you getting kidnapped. I enjoyed today, it was nice having a normal conversation with Weiss again..

Jaune: I'm glad honey.. it's nice to know you and her are getting along again.

Bleiss: thanks dear. But your making me dinner!

Jaune: sure thing sweetheart, want me to feed it to you in bed?

Bleiss just chuckled and wrapped her arms around him before lovingly kissing him.

Today was good day.. except for raven who didn't even know what the fuck that camp did until yang told her.

Jaune: *Beat up and tied to a chair* Gentlemen, Gentlemen! Let's be Civil about this. Let's make a deal!

Jaune: You Surrender, and you don't die. How does That sound?

Branwen Tribe: And how do you intend to kill us?

Jaune: Oh no, I won't kill you. But My spouse can! Say Hi Honey!

*Someone drops behind the crowd*

It's actually more funny because the inverse is true.

The wasps just don't shut up about how "bad" Blacksun (kinda like my blind hatred for py- no.. no this doesn't need to end with me sounding like a giant baby).

The reason why it's funny is because honestly neither ship is bad the only reason there is so much bad blood between fans is because of people like the wasps who choose to represent the entirety of bmblb when they actually aren't, spreading their hate (more accurately stupidity but semantics) and thus poking at blacksun fans who retaliate. Which isn't appropriate but understandable. But regardless that retaliation just leads to normal bmblb fans to assume that Blacksun fans are toxic.

It's an interesting yet also paradoxically annoying cycle of provoke, attack, and retaliate.

This is why I will constantly say that this fandom acts like a bunch of fucking toddlers when it comes to community interactions. We can get along we just refuse to.

Number of Days Blacksun Shippers Go Without Obsessing over Bmblb and Bmblb shippers:

0