Joejhang - Zoe

sometimes i just smile and think about andrew being helplessly charmed by neil's messiness. his tendency to run his mouth at the worst times to the worst people. picking fights and booking it immediately. telling people exactly what he thinks of them. turning andrew's own words against him. his witty wordplay and easy back-and-forth with andrew, when andrew is usually so slow to converse with anyone. just. andrew being in love with neil.

so we have the trojans and jean is paris. kevin is helen of sparta and neil is achilles and andrew is cassandra???

NEED to know what andrew's reaction to the riko roast was. like the one at the fall banquet. i NEED it. like he was high at the time so was he just grinning as neil absolutely CLOCKED riko??? did even he look a little surprised??? how was he feeling?? was he shocked??? a little attracted??? did he think, fuck, he is good. did he laugh a little and for once it felt sincere?? PLEASE NORA I NEED TO KNOW.

it's the way andreil could never have been casual or just a fling the way neil makes it out to be. it was never just physical. it was never just hate sex. because, they were literally in love with each other before they got together and them starting a relationship (or "nothing") doesn't actually change anything except sealing the deal and making it physical too. they actually know and understand each other maybe better than anyone else, and it might have just started out as physical attraction for andrew but you know that changed after he realised neil was more, neil was interesting, he trusted andrew despite everyone telling him not to. he took andrew at face value and was the first person to simply ask him. he respected andrew's boundaries and didn't consider andrew a monster or a psychopath for reinforcing them and protecting his loved ones. he kept his promises and fought in the face of all the odds stacked against him, all the monsters and abusers he's had to face on his tail and he refused to give up even though it might have been smarter to, safer to. and for neil, andrew is the first person to really understand him. even when neil gives his half-truth to andrew after that first trip to columbia, andrew doesn't flinch in the face of it. he doesn't look away, instead he looks at neil with "perfect understanding". andrew has felt the same desperation neil is feeling right then. he's been there, hanging on by a thread and sure he's going to die before he turns twenty, and he isn't scared of neil's past or the people after him. he tells neil to stay, and maybe that's the first time neil's ever heard anyone say that to him. andrew's the first person ever to really give neil a home, and if you think about it, he's also neil's first real friend (much as they'll both deny that they're friends). and also just andrew as a person: he is labelled as monstrous and out of control but neil knows what real monsters are, and andrew isn't one. andrew asks "yes or no?" and keeps all his promises, holds up all his deals, protects those he holds dear to him. he pretends not to care, but neil knows, he cares so much. how could anyone ever think they were casual.

andrew "i'll drive you home / you drive me crazy / but that's not gonna stop me / i'll call you out / you call me "baby" / but that's not gonna stop me / from lying to my therapist" minyard