This Is Probably Gonna Sound Really Selfish, But Whatever. So Basically, My 1 Year Army Anniversary Is

This is probably gonna sound really selfish, but whatever. So basically, my 1 year army anniversary is January 3rd and I was gonna order myself an army bomb and open it on the 3rd. I was planning on ordering it pretty earlier because of the holidays and the PTD concerts…. But they’re sold out ☹️. Idk how fast weverse restocks either, but I’m worried I’m not gonna get an army bomb on my anniversary. I guess it seems worrisome to me because (tw or sad reality or something) January 3rd is the only day I see in my future right now. My 19th birthday is in February, but I don’t see that at all. I’m really having a hard time and I wanted that to be a good day, ya know. January 3rd seems so far away and almost impossible to reach so to have something I’m waiting for, I thought it would help. Yeah if I make it that far I’m gonna celebrate what BTS has given me the past year, but idk. I’m just being selfish and pathetic though because there are people that can’t even get things shipped too them or don’t have the money too. I’m just spoiled and complaining.

I’m talking about the vaccine here. Please be nice if you do read this

Okay I’m really hesitant/embarrassed/guilty about saying this, but I’m not vaccinated yet. It’s not because I’m against it or anything like that and I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses, but I haven’t had a good time. I don’t hardly leave my house because of anxiety and other stuff, and if I do, I always wear a mask which I know is not enough. Nobody around me wants to get vaccinated and if we talk about it it’s always talk about how it’s a hoax and skepticism about the whole thing. It makes me upset. Currently in my state, it’s illegal for employers to mandate a vaccine but with the new presidential mandate, it might change. I need to get on my feet and get a job and I don’t want me not being vaccinated to be a problem. Plus I just want to be safe in general. I’m really thinking about sucking it up and getting vaccinated after the holidays. I’m just really scared. I’m really anxious about side effects. I’m okay with fevers, but it’s the nausea I’m worried about. It makes me really anxious when I am, and anxiety makes it worse. Side effects are my main hinderance. I’m also just kinda weird about shots. I’m trying to just suck it up and get it over with because I know there are people who can’t even get vaccines and so many people have suffered from Covid; it’s ignorant for me not to have it just because I’m anxious. I feel guilty about it. I’m emotional writing this. Anyways, I guess I’m asking about other people experiences and how to cope with it.

Please be nice if you do say anything. I understand the problem with not being vaccinated, and I’m really looking to fix it. I’m just looking for some comforting words I guess.

Last things for the day; I figured out how to say it.

The reason why BTS at the Harry Styles concert, having the time of their lives, jamming with Lizzo, feeling the music in their bones, and everything else that came with it was so heart warming, is because it’s exactly the type of message that they’re trying and have been putting out. BTS themselves are breaking barriers, connecting, and helping people with music, despite the language they sing in. Seeing them experience their own goal/passion/message for somebody else is just… euphoric 😭

I’m going to make a list of Kdramas and Cdramas I’ve watched and link it in my bio so that in case you’re curious as to what I’ve been up to; you can check that periodically. I fly through shows in general pretty fast so it’ll get updated constantly. I just wasn’t sure if people wanted to keep hearing about them all the time. I do have a draft about a kdrama too, but I’ve been a bit insecure about it lately 🥲. But I’m will get that list up very soon and if you look through it an want to ask me something, don’t be afraid to. ☺️

Whenever I see a video recommended like this and the title is like: THEY reVEAL this, thIS and THIS and ✨M O R E✨ I’m like how much could they possibly reveal in 3 minutes 🤨😑

My heart flutters every time I see a clip of the boys at the Harry Styles concert last night and that they were having the time of their lives. And they met Lizzo!!!! I’m not gonna try to explain how it makes me feel because I’m not good with words, but I’m just so glad that they’re here and living their best lives. I also really appreciate the fact that even tho they sat in the crowd (we stan humble kings) and there were a bunch of armys there, nobody was mobbed, everybody stayed in their place and just appreciated the presence in the room. Warms my heart 😊 I have this funny image in my head of them fighting to buy their tickets online, kinda like what army have to do to get their tickets. Idk what it’s like buying Harry Styles’ tickets (bc I’ve never been to any concert ever💀) but I have this image of them sitting in a room in the hybe building, impatiently waiting and getting antsy about it.