The Hostage AU -

The Hostage AU -

Where Galidraan happens essentially the same but in an au where Jaster Mereel never died, right.

So his son, right, is MIA and 300 mandos are dead due to Death Watch schemes, poor intelligence, and hasty judgemt by both the Jedi and the Senate who oversaw the assignment to the Jedi.

Jaster obviously wants some fucking recompense and while the Senate hems and haws the Jedi respond in good faith that they will of course put significant resources to finding and rescuing the missing/ enslaved Jango Fett and there are many other ways they would like to offer recompense to Mandalore, such as through ecological recovery research and agricultural support and any resources they can spare for the families of the slain mandalorians - such as EduCorps access and AgriCorps rations, etc, etc.

And Jaster is like, okay, not bad, it's something but I'm still pissed and I don't trust you so I want a garuantee that the jedi aren't going yo fuck my people over again - I'll take a hostage. As a gesture of good faith.

And the jedi deliberate this for awhile and they're like, hmm okay let's talk conditions and Jaster didn't actually think that hard about this proposal alright so he’s like you lost my heir gimme one of yours from your leader and the jedi council deliberate that for awhile and eventually decide that Mereel must mean someone from either Windu's lineage ( Head of the Order) or from Yoda's lineage ( Grandmaster of the Order).

Qui-Gon is immediately and vehemently thrown out of the running, Dooku and Komari are disqualified due to being participants at Galidraan, Feemor is technically not of their lineage, Rael is on assignment, they are looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi and Depa Billaba, who immediately start studying Mandalorian Culture and History like their lives depend on it.

So the council gets back to Mereel and they're like, can you garuantee the hostage won't be like, tortured or murdered?

And Mereel is like, yeah sure as long as you don't betray my trust.

So The council is like, looking at their two shining eighteen year old examples of senior padawans and is like okay you two, does one of you want to volunteer?

And cue Obi-Wan and Depa just immediately throwing down like feral little gremlins while debating each other's merits and Obi-Wan wins because he's learning the language faster and also because he still gets away with tooka eyes and she doesn't and also he bites and while Depa can basically charge her way in and out of any situation Obi-Wan is notoriously more devious and has more experience escaping captivity as the need arises.

She pins him in a headlock but he wins the debate, so she concedes with dignity and helps him up off the floor and the whole council is eyeing the calm collected facade of Yoda's lineafes latest feral hell-padawan and they're like - this is the diplomatic opportunity of the millenia, Padawan Kenobi, please do not start a new Jedi-Mandalorian war.

So they ship this boy off to Mandalore and Mand'alor Jaster Mereel is like, okay, he looks polite.

Anyway almost every other mandalorian on the planet fucking hates him and Death Watch honestly wants to start a new Jefi-Mandalorian war so plots abound to both make an example out of the hostage and assassinate Mereel and the New Mandalorians are trying to convince Obi-Wan to convince Mereel to implement more of their policies and Obi-Wan, right? Obi-Wan is lying to everyone about not speaking mando'a ( Jaster Mereel fucking knows because Jaster Mereel has seen this kid read mando'a text on like, his first day. He perpetuates the lie because it amuses him a little that Obi-Wan's excuse for everything is - terribly sorry, I'm just a hostage!)

Also the secret vendetta between Madame Nu wanting more Mandalorian Source documents and Jaster Mereel wanting more Jedi Source documents and both of them trying to use Obi-Wan to get them. ( his excuse to both the Jedi and the Mandalorians when they bother him is 'terribly sorry, but I'm just a hostage')

Cue Obi-Wan, right, just living his life eating spicy food and sweet cakes and sparring with Jasters Guard and spending half his nights in the library and letting some kid he met in the marketplace try and teach him to paint and coolly coordinating the AgriCorps research by doing their little remote experiments and samples and casually side-stepping a lot of murder attempts and random acts of malice short of murder and anyways it takes three years for them to turn up Jango Fett, whose half-feral and kind of addicted to spice and full of so much rage he could crack a planet in half if he had any grasp of the Force and Obi-Wan bearing the brunt of the grudge he bears because, well, Obi-Wan is there and,Fett keeps,arguing with his father as to why they'd just let the,Jedi go now so Obi-Wan is a hostage stuck in limbo because is the debt paid or isn’t it he's also basically an ambassador to/of mandalore at this point and he's been keeping up with all the training guides and manuals the council has been sending him he'd love some actual guidance but he goes to the armorers for advice sometimes and makes do.

Anyway this ultimately ends up with Jango Fett planting things ( after wrecking things) and aggressively coparenting a garden with Obi-Wan until he manages to come to terms with his grief.

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

Prompt:

It takes forever and a day for someone to notice, but after decades of crime fighting, the Justice League finally catches onto the fact that—-

Batman doesn’t seem to be aging. At all.

Sure there are some lines on his face but anybody with as many children as him would have them. And yes, he does complain of back pains every now and again, but he’s been doing that since the day the JLA first formed, so who knows.

Come to think of it, his gaggle of kids don’t seem to be a day over twenty-two either. None of them. Even Nightwing, who should be well into his fourties’ (fifties?? Sixties???) still looks exactly the same.

The JLA decide to investigate.

Which isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, because it’s Gotham, and every single person in that godforsaken city is bloody insane as they come to find out. (With a side dish of plausible deniability to boot)

Fake Cryptids, Real Ghosts

Ok, so dp x dc/batfam because this AU has me by the throat but what if it's the fake cryptid batfamily AU who never joined the JL.

Just...imagine it. The Batfamily has been protecting Gotham quietly but fiercely by scaring the daylights out of criminals as creatures that go bump in the night. A bit of stage magic, frightening method acting, contortion, a whole language comprised of chirps, growls, and body language, and the best tech possible and you've got a recipe for striking fear into the hearts of everyone.

They've got shrines on the rooftops, vaguely on the JL radar (Cause really, who's gonna believe that Gotham, one of the worst cities has a demon problem? Constantine? Homeboy took one look at Gotham and went Nope.) and they're protected cause any self respecting Gothamite wouldn't go spilling the beans to Outsiders. The Bats keep them safe. Who would believe them anyways?

Enter half dead, half alive Danny Fenton.

Danny Fenton who has a best friend's named Tucker and Sam who find out about the Gotham Cryptids, and go absolutely ham on research because here lies something,a bunch of someone's who are Other. Maybe they're creepy but they're cool and they're Heroes and they help people.

Sure, at first it was an attempt from Sam and Tucker to help their best friend feel less alone in the face of other, more 'normal' heroes and people out there in the world. Maybe they try to further bury the Bats online cause if anyone understands keeping on the down low, it would be Amity Parker's. For awhile, Danny Fenton, sometimes Phantom is simply happy to know he's not alone.

Then he's outed and his sister who's long since been ecto-contaiminated is put at risk there's nowhere that seems safer. Gotham is a chaotic city, even without the Bats factoring in. After all Gotham has (Demons-Spirits-Creatures?) The Bats already. Who would care if a halfa and his sister hide out there? As long as they're respectful of their territory, it'll be fine right? Besides, they've got to warn the Bats anyways about the GIW and government. They're coming after ghosts, who knows if they'll be next? Spooky things have to look out for each other after all.

Cue shenanigans as Phantom who stops hiding all of his creepier traits as a ghost walks up to the Totally Human but Faking it Batman with really thoughtful gifts for all of their shrines (And one fruitcake), no heartbeat and an earnest plea for a safe haven in their Haunt because the Ancients taught him manners and the importance of respecting another entities territory.

An idea for humans are space orcs

Humans use momentum to our advantage. Like a lot. We don’t even think of it most of the time. Lying down and want to roll over? Pull yourself part way there and let momentum and gravity do the rest. Need to make a sharp turn while running? Grab onto the corner and use your momentum to swing around it. We are literally built to use momentum to our advantage and what if we were the only space faring species that came naturally to.

For other species they had to discover what momentum was and how they could use it and only those with extensive training can use it as well as we do naturally.

If their lying down and want to roll over they have to use their muscles the whole time. If they need to make a sharp turn while running they have to slow down and make the turn.

We can cover ground fast by keeping our momentum through jumps and stuff to not only help us but insure we don’t slow down. They can’t, they r literally not built for it.

Hell even how we run is based on moments! Because once ur fast enough ur body with just keep going forward long enough for you legs to make the next stride. They don’t, with training they could work it out but for us it just comes naturally.

All this means humans are not only fast but we’re efficient. We can do the bare minimum to get things started and let physics do the rest.

Perhaps to go one step farther we could be one of the youngest species to get to space because we literally use the gravitational pull of planets to make enough momentum to slingshot us out into the stars (this isn’t made up they did that with a few satellites). For us that was a no brainer but it took other races years to work that out and even longer to figure out how to implement it.

So yeah, another reason why we are scary as shit to them is that something that to them only come with a life time of training and study comes complete naturally to us.

It would be like finding a species that at age 3 has a perfect mastery of all martial arts and they don’t even realise how fucking wild that is.