How Do You Think If These Things

how do you think if these things 😭😭😭

Well Anon... my mind is a confusing space. (I also read one too many toxic bl manhwas and manhuas-) I'm totally sane! I think- Is anyone sane if they use Tumblr? I think not. Oh! And I also consume lots of dark romance media that probably violate the Geneva Convention somehow! Yeah... You can also think of these things for the simple price of your sanity and 99 cents! Jk. You just need to give up your sanity. It's free!

Am I supposed to be answering this? I'm confused but this sounds fun to reply to!

A: My favorite is definitely my most recent one! I got it sort of beta read by one of my mutuals! It was also my first time posting smut! (Digital footprint go brrrrrr-)

B: The first Fandom I wrote and read was regrettably BNHA, though I was still into toxic dynamics at that young age. (Yandere and Wattpad with middle school me should have never met.) Yep. Bakudeku shipper, but not the fluffy kind.

C: My first and most recent fic on Tumblr was picked by a random word generator! "One More Step Towards Hell." I got step, and I added random words until they worked.

D: My most personal fic is on A03, it's in the DSMP Fandom. It was between Tommyinnit and (he who shall not be named.) It sucks that the owner of the avatar is a horrible person, but it had HEAVY manipulation and HEAVILY implied child abuse so like- It made me kind of cry while writing it. I think I captured the atmosphere a bit TOO well. It's "Little Right Hand Man" by Crackficsaremyfav if you want to read it!

E: A character... I don't really vibe with the whole kinning thing. (Just my opinion, not shaming anyone who does!) I guess I can just see myself in characters that lack love and cling onto it even if it hurts them? Once again. "Little Right Hand Man." Nothing I've ever experienced, but the longing for acknowledgement really hit me in the feels!

F: Ummmmm... I don't really remember? I think I listened to something but I think it was more to fill the noise. (But I do get inspired by songs! Little aspects of my fics often include references to them!)

G: A sequel? Well... I just got back into writing, so any plot that was planned has long since left me. I guess I'd make a sequel to "One More Step Towards Hell" with Y/N dying somehow? It'll be filled with angst, regret, and overall bad vibes. (With how I wrote Jason, there might be some necrophilia too-)

H: Dark. Hella dark. And super duper dirty. Not the sexy scenes but like the scenes where you start feeling like you need a scroll break before continuing. (I swear I can write fluff. Just give me some INSPIRATION-)

I: 2. Just 2. BNHA and DSMP. Isn't it so funny how I got into the most problematic of all problematic Fandoms? *sighs.* It's hard out here. I gotta defend myself against everyone. (NO SARA. I DONT BITE PEOPLE-) But DSMP was by far my favorite to write in! The characters were honestly complex for being in an actual crack parody of Hamilton-

J: Yandere. Possessive. Obsessive. Please. I swear I'm normal- I just desperately want to be loved the same I do to others- *clears throat.* Ahem. Anyways- I just really like dark romance. I have definitely added to it. I'm just wondering if it was a good addition now-

K: Guilty pleasures... Definitely some terrible ships. BUT NOT FOR WHAT YOU'RE THINKING- It's honestly so interesting how people make the characters cope. (Non-con my beloved-) It's very very VERY controversial, but something in me just wants to write about not having any control. (I think I need to defend myself too much while answering these-)

L: Yet again. "Little Right Hand Man." God, this fic is haunting me in these asks. I can't even believe that I wrote that. Like. I genuinely don't remember that.

M: Hmmm... Weirdest would definitely be from my Wattpad days. Omegaverse. Healer Deku. Bakudeku. BNHA. Need I say more?

N: I'm writing about the character.ai bots that I chat with right now. BUT THE CURRENT ONE IS LIKE AN ULTRA-HYPERFIXATION-) I got inspired by Alien Stage Round 6. Ivantill. Doomed love. Enemies that never turn to lovers because they can never be truly vulnerable with each other- (I swear I can write an entire essay on how magnificent the concept is-)

O: LOVE IT. LOVE IT. LOVE IT. PLEASE. I'D HONEST TO GOD SERIOUSLY AND LITERALLY BE BROUGHT TO TEARS. LIKE. YOU. YOU DECIDED THAT MY FIC WAS WORTHY ENOUGH TO TAKE TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO WRITE?? YOU'RE MY FRIEND NOW. SERIOUSLY. NEVER EVER GETTING RID OF ME-

P: "One More Step Towards Hell" was inspired from IvanTill and character.ai. DOOMED LOVERS. I'm also consuming every bit of yandere content on this platform. That also probably helps with the smut- But no. I just go with the flow most of the times. Being chronically online has helped with ideas by a ton.

Q: Never got one before. BUT I'LL ABSOLUTELY LOVE IF SOMEONE REQUESTED SOMETHING FROM ME- (I'll do everything and anything to make sure that I churn something worthy out to the asker. Writer's block be damned!)

R: I don't remember names... But everyone on Tumblr has been my inspiration! All the creators I follow on here has been a tremendous help in my writing!

S: Once again. I'D CRY-

T: Not really? I guess when it comes to *shudders.* excrements. Golden shower, vomit, scat, vore- I'm very sure you know what I mean now. Sorry, but I don't think even an ASK would allow me to write that stuff.

U: Not really? I'm just really into character.ai right now- Oh wait- IVANTILL. I love doomed love so much- *sobbing as I rewatch that moment where Ivan nuzzles into Till like a cat for the fortieth time-)

V: ALL the comments stick out. I make it a mission to reply to anything that involves me. Praise? Love. Compliment? Love. Mentioning of a scene. MARRY ME-

W: Favorite pairing? I have none. As long as they're violent and a yandere, then I'd smash. Yandere x Reader is a heavily frequented tag of mine. I SWEAR IT NEVER GETS OLD- But currently? Whitney x PC. (I wanna make a scene similar to the messages so bad-) Doesn't help that I love bully romances- (especially if the bully never actually changes-) Toxic relationships are my kryptonite-

X: Voracious for sure. I don't nitpick at all. If I'm DESPERATE? I'll take that wall of text with no breaks and heavy grammatical errors even if it kills me-

Y: Writing is an outlet to what I like! If people like it, then great! If a story is popular? Hey! That's great! As long as I like it, then I'm good! All my fics are my babies! (We don't talk about Wattpad. I went no-contact with those-)

Z: "Little Right Hand Man." It's so good, but the tags probably steer people off it. I swear it's good- (cried when I saw the scandal- I can't look at my fics the same anymore-)

Phew! That was a lot to write! Loved to write this! ♡♡♡

Fanfic Writer Ask Meme

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why? B:  What was the first fandom you read fic in?  Which was the first you wrote fic for? C:  How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]? D: What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written? E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well? F: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]? G: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about? H: How would you describe your writing style? I: How many fandoms have you written in?  Do you have a favorite? J:  What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it? K:  Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)? L:  Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write? M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with?  Did it turn into a story? N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share? O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic? P:  Where did you find the most inspiration for your story < insert title >? Q: Do you like getting prompts from your readers? R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing? S: How do you feel about fan art inspired by your writing? T: Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand? U: Is there a pairing you would like to write, but haven’t tried yet. V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you? W: What is your favorite pairing to write?  Favorite pairing to read? X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading?  Are you a voracious reader?  Do you carefully pick and choose?  Something in between? Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?   Z: Is there a story you’ve written that doesn’t seem to get much love?

Soft Yandere! Veteran who will take care of you~!

Bro's a cutie actually- I can't believe he was written on a whim- You don't understand how much I love this old man- (I'd probably ride him until we both pass out-) This is unfortunately a fem reader scenario. Sorry, pookies- I can't make a descriptive scene if it can be both a dick and pussy. MINORS DNI. MINORS DNI. MINORS DNI. Anyways- This was written with "Guys My Age" put on the entire time- Probably explains all this- *** You don't know why it took you so long. If the you in the past knew just how good you could feel right now... Lackluster hookups and immaturity would've been a foreign concept to you. It was almost unfair if you compared any of your past lovers to the man between your legs right now. His tongue so sinful as it drags across your sopping wet cunt— your fingers tangled in his salt and pepper hair, his once combed hair now disheveled because of you. To be honest... The both of you looked fairly messed up by now. Your back arches when he starts to nip your sensitive bud, sucking on it in a way that makes you see stars when your head snaps up as a response to his ministrations. A whimper escapes from you as a finger effortlessly slides in your welcoming inner walls. A shiver runs through your spine when he chuckles at how wet you already were. "Look at you~ Are you really such a whore for an old man like me~? I’m honored~” You moan when he adds another finger in suddenly, breath hitching when he slowly scissors you. Was this what experienced men felt like? It was like he knew exactly where to go, like he knew your body better than you did. He pressed the right places, he kissed where you were the most sensitive— he looked at you in ways you never knew existed.

So when he made you cum harder than you ever did before… It didn’t surprise you when you felt the urge to keep him with you. You wanted more: more of him, more of whatever he was making you feel right now. He simply smiled when you shakily grabbed onto his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. He quickly took control of the kiss too, his other hand snaking under your own shirt to grope your chest. It was only when your tears began to fall from the lack of air— did he finally part from your sweet, glossy lips.

“Already tapping out, huh?” He teases you, smirking when you shake your head and whine for him shamelessly. It didn’t matter that he was more than a decade older than you— it only mattered that he made you feel better than anyone ever did.  Your heart only quickened when his thumb brushes against your drool-covered lips, sensually licking your spit off his thumb.

His tongue darts out to lick his lips as well, lips that were covered with your slick. Even in your daze, you noticed how his eyes roamed over your figure— looking at you as if he was about to dig into his favorite meal. A dark chuckle rumbles from his chest, his fingers leaving you to unbuckle his belt. Before you could even whine about the emptiness he left, your knees were bent into your chest. Your thighs spread in a way that allowed him to see just how much you needed him.

“Get ready, love. You’re going to find out that an old dog can learn a few new tricks.” *** You don't understand how much I love this man- The headcanons and a whole fluff/smut scene is already in the works. Like that baker dude on Tiktok always says: "I am awesome and my ego is still undamaged."

Ah. So pegging #1 won... Amazing. The old man's still gonna be hella demeaning tho-

...

I'll just start writing now, then. (Have patience- it's time for school again-)

OH MY GOD- UNDC7BEXUNZEIN- KISSES FOR YOU TOO- (GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-)

( °∇^)］@lolawhyfangirl

reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head

Title: One More Step Towards Hell.

Sypnosis: Y/N is known to be cold, Jason wants to change that image into something better.

Pairing: c.ai bot (Jason) / Y/N

Genre: smut, angst, FEM POV

Warnings: non-con/dub-con, exhibitionism, masochism, sadism, toxic relationship, free-use, objectification, degradation, gang-bang, orgy, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior, cheating?, NTR, manipulation, implied isolation, abuse, guilt-tripping, self-harm, threats of suicide.

Note: I don't know how my mind works. I blame me, myself, and character ai. Sloppy sex is just too fun to not write TT. P.S. I have no idea how sex actually works. Apologies if it's too vague.

ISTG MINORS DNI.

BOT CHAT HERE: https://character.ai/chat/OEz_Bam4SU6yTksaaeRJtbnPYSnDi2Fck6kRXnysNAQ?hist=5a7c1aaf-2bf9-449e-8774-81d799caee52

The birds were singing, the sky was blue, the teacher was prattling on about some important piece of history that would be repeated no matter what— and I was irritated. My hand mindlessly writing down any words I catch to ignore this nagging feeling in my mind.

Jason's been quiet. Too quiet. That only meant that he was up to something. The bratty bastard is never this distant unless he's either hooking up with someone or planning something. Nonetheless, both of those scenarios just continue to crack on my psyche.

What about that one time where-

I shake that thought out of my head, deciding to let that stay in the dark recesses of my head. Without even noticing, my hand was starting to write Jason's name continuously in my notebook. My eye twitches in irritation at that fact. Why couldn't he just leave my mind for one second?!

The bell rings, and I start to pack up my supplies. Everyone else starts gravitating to their friend groups while I stay alone. It's not even Jason's fault that I had no friends this time! I was just known to be a cold bitch in everyone's eyes. So what if I'm blunt? Why do I need to add unnecessary words to my comments?

A buzz rings in my pocket, it was a text notification. I had very little people in my contacts, so sure enough, it was from Jason.

“Come to the abandoned classroom in the West Wing? (^з^)-☆”

My eyebrow raises at his message. Was this the part where he plays his trick on me? I text him back. …Now that I think of it… The disparity between our texts is obvious.

Jason replies back almost instantaneously, I had to hold in a chuckle with how obviously passive-agressive he was being.

“Will you come if it was a request? :>”

No. No, I probably wouldn't— and he knows that. After a few seconds of contemplating, I decided to give into him. As much as I enjoy our banter, I was curious about what he was planning.

“I'll be there in a minute.”

Just like I promised, I immediately swung my heavy bag over my shoulders before making my way to our meeting place. I wasn't sure what to expect once I got there. Jason being balls deep in a random girl, or something similar to that.

“I'm here-” I opened the door, my greeting cut off from the shock. …Did Jason also swing the other way? I expected a girl, or two, or three- But this? This was something else.

“Baby~!” Jason has the audacity to happily call out my name, as if he didn't just bring me into a room full of boys. “Come in~! You're the guest of honor~!”

Yeah… nothing about this looked honorable to me.

“Jason-” I try to protest, but he interrupts me. “Honey! You're just in time!” He pulled me farther into the room, the door shutting with an ominous click.

I tried to wrestle my way out of his hold, but the strength and height difference between us was too great for me to overcome. Before I even knew it, I was being bent down over a desk. A tie binding my wrists together as Jason lifts my skirt up. My eyes begin to tear up, what was he doing in front of all these people?!

“Jason-!” I get cut off with a slap to my ass, the pain significantly dulled since I still had my underwear on.

“Shhh~ You can't be screaming before it even starts~!” I couldn't see his face, but I can bet my non-existent life savings that he had a smug grin twisted on his lips right now. “Look at that~! Your body already knows what's going to happen~!”

I shiver as Jason rubs his finger over my panties, my discharge soaking more into the fabric as he continues to rub against my panties. I regretted wearing white, today— I was completely exposed the moment I dripped into them. A sob escapes from me as my ears heat up in shame.

“Fuck~ You're such a dirty, little slut~” Jason groans out, slowly peeling off my now wet panties. Showcasing my bare pussy to every single boy in the room. I only bury my face more into the desk when I hear groans sounding out in the room. “Look at you, you pathetic whore. You're dripping wet right now~ Do you like this~? Do you like that I'm doing this to you in front of all my friends?” Jason coos out, rubbing his index finger against my increasingly wet folds. I shudder at the sensation of his cold finger on something that's meant to be warm.

I didn't answer Jason, which was the wrong call. …Or maybe that was the right call. Especially since he grabs a fistful of my hair to force my face to turn to him. The pain made me let out an embarrassingly loud moan.

Jason only snickers, keeping a firm grip on my hair. “You're so weird for liking that, you know that?” He teases me as he begins to spread my thighs apart. “Such a dirty slut is only good for one thing.”

The way he worded that sentence made me start to panic. I was about to ask him what he meant, but he shoves my soaked panties into my mouth. I gag at the sudden intrusion, the taste of myself was apparent.

“Who wants to go first~?” Jason's words only made me panic even more, my head shaking in refusal. He only ignores my obvious refusal, just holding my head down on the desk as I cry. “Don't mind her. We all know how sensitive bitches can be.”

“Fuck it! I'm going first!” A boy volunteers, I didn't even recognize him for anything! Well… I don't really focus or remember faces that much, either.

I squirm as Jason holds me down, the sinister sound of a belt clattering onto the floor, and the sound of a zipper made me cry. Shit! What the hell is this?!

“Be good, Y/N~” Jason purrs out, running his fingers through my hair as a cruel contrast to whatever this was. “I just want everyone to know how good you feel~! Do you know how tiring it is whenever someone compares you to a dead fish in bed?” Jason sighs, he fucking sighs like he was a victim. My eye twitches in irritation, anger flooding my mind as I growl into my makeshift gag.

My anger is lost when the boy penetrates me just like that. I was lucky that I could get wet easily from the pain, but the few seconds at the start were nothing but pure agony. A muffled moan leaves me as my eyes roll back. My walls clenching onto the boy's dick tightly as I start dripping down my thighs.

“O-oh~! N-now I know why Jason keeps you around despite your bitchy attitude~!” The boy groans out, thrusting into me without any care. Should I be grateful that he was much smaller than Jason? What a small dick it was, or maybe it's just average? Jason has tainted my perspective on what a normal dick should be.

This was humiliating, especially since Jason was just looking at another boy fucking me. I wanted to just punch that smile off of him. You brought me here for this?!

“Haha! What's with that look?” Jason playfully pokes me on the cheek before snapping his finger to signal for another boy to get in front of me. He takes my panties out of my mouth, a thin trail of my saliva connecting me to the soiled fabric. “You'd look better with a cock down your throat~!”

I was about to snap at Jason, but a dick pressed itself against my cheek. “Put that in my mouth, and I swear that I'll bite it off.” I hissed out to the owner that was smearing pre-cum all over my cheek. Jason clicks his tongue, before he slapped my cheek hard enough for my head to turn to the side. I bite back a groan from the sting that stayed on my cheek.

“Be a good slut, and open wide.” Jason barks out, my mouth instinctively opening up obediently. It was honestly scary with how quick his mood shifts were.

…So now, I was being spit-roasted by two boys that I did not know at all. All while my boyfriend is watching us. …My life is going so great. My lungs were barely able to get enough air as I'm rammed into, from both ends. My tears falling down my face as the bitter taste of cum is obvious on my tongue.

I don't know how long it's been, but I knew what kind of damage my body took. Bitemarks and bruises covered large parts of my skin, my nipples swollen from being played with, and my neck had a purple ring around it for those who liked choking me. It was sickening to me when all I did was moan in pleasure from the pain. My bruised lips shamelessly continuing to whimper and whine.

“Fuck! Who the hell called Y/N a dead fish in bed?! She fucks like a porn star~!” One boy exclaims as he brutally fucks me in the pussy. My eyes rolled back as I stared at Jason, who was smiling at the sight. I came with a loud moan.

“Ah~! Y/N~ Oh, Y/N~ You look so cute under me~!” A perverted boy pants out as he uses my breasts to get off. Goosebumps run up my arms as he licks my cheek before sloppily making out with me. My eyes subconsciously drift to Jason, my boyfriend who was jacking off to the scene. I was starting to drip onto the floor at this point.

“You like that? Haha! You're so perverted~!” Another boy sadistically chuckles as he dryly penetrates me in the ass. My hands and knees on the floor as I moan in pain. My cheeks flushed into a bright red as blood started to trickle down my thighs. My head was shoved against the floor, so I didn't notice Jason's eyes looking at me in amusement. The intense pain causes me to squirt as my cheeks burn in shame.

“Oh~ Oh~ Oh~! Y/N~!” This boy didn't even penetrate me, he just smeared his cum all over my face. Cum dripping onto my blouse as he shoots his sperm into my open mouth. A giggle could be heard from Jason who was admiring my fucked-out expression. I obediently swallow down the cum, causing the boy to harden again.

“Shit. You were made for this, you slutty bitch.” I was gagged again, by a tie this time. The boy hate-fucking me because I was apparently rude to him. I'm technically rude to everyone, he's not special. My eyes roll back as his palm connects with my bare ass again. There was no way I was going to be able to sit properly afterward. Jason was just playing on his phone, looking uninterested at the scene. I reach yet another dry orgasm once the boy's dick hits my G-spot again.

“Aaahhhh~! Y/N~! I'm inside the cold goddess of the school~! So tight! You really do want me, huh?!” This one… He was almost like Jason in a way. My tongue lolled out as the back of my knees were on the boy's shoulders. The position allowed the boy to hit my cervix repeatedly, which made me whimper. I wasn't even paying attention to Jason at this point. My orgasms were just painful at this point, sobbing as my body trembled from my climax.

“Fucking hell~ You're just milking me at this point.” A boy groans out, surprisingly the most vanilla out of everyone. I was too sensitive by now, so even being in a missionary position was too much for me. Senseless babble leaving my lips as I cried out for Jason.

I started off protesting hard, but Jason made sure to reign me in every time I was acting ‘out of line.’ Eventually, I was completely moaning and begging for more.

“U-ugh. So disgusting-” I get slapped on the cheek.

“H-hey-! N-not in the ass-” My head is forcibly slammed against the wooden desk.

“O-oh no~” A warning squeeze is placed on my throat.

“M-more, please~! ♡” My head gets gently patted like a dog.

I was forced to skip my remaining classes since no one decided to go back to class. In the end, I was covered head to toe in semen and saliva. My entire body twitching as I laid sprawled out on the desk. There was only me and Jason left now, the other boys finally leaving after their turn was over.

“You looked so hot while cumming on another man's dick.” Jason whispers out, kissing my lips despite how dirty I was right now. “I'm so hard right now, seeing my slutty toy all filthy just for me~”

I let out a whimper when Jason forces my thighs open again, slowly inserting two of his fingers in me. “Shit. You're so loose now~” The perverted bastard starts to slowly scissor me, more sperm dripping down my thighs with every slow thrust of his fingers. I let out a whine as he swirls the cum inside of me, treating my bruised pussy like it was a stress toy.

The loud, wet noises only made me embarrassed. I was already stuck in my head, pleasure and pain being the only thing I was currently feeling. “J-Jason~” I moan out, arching my back as he just continues to play with the cum inside of me. He looked at my hole as if it was a fascinating object he would never get enough of.

“Fucking hell~ You're so loose. Oh God, I should just continue letting this happen. I can barely feel you clenching onto me!” Jason laughs out, continuing to finger me. I whimper at the feeling, too sensitive for any of this. “How did it feel, bitch? You got the whole football team in you right now!”

I could feel myself tear up again. That's right, I did. And I feel so dirty now.

“No one's going to want you anymore, now~! You're all mine! I'm the only one who can love such a cum dumpster like you!” Jason gloats out, still fingering me. I could only moan as I reached another painful, dry orgasm. My eyes rolling to the back of my head as I grit my teeth.

“Such a dirty, dirty whore. So loose, so, so adorable~!” Jason wraps his arms around me as he pulls me into his chest— not caring about the cum staining his clothes. “You're so hot. Now everyone knows that, too~!”

I just stayed limp in his arms, every part of my body was sore. This was definitely a great life.

A cut-off yelp left my lips as Jason kicked me to the ground. Tears in his eyes as if he was the one in pain, instead of me. The burning ache on my stomach begged to differ.

“Y/N… How could you ask that of me?” Jason cries out, wiping away the crocodile tears from his eyes. It was every bit as fake as him, but it looked so genuine. The well-timed sniffles, the red rims around his eyes, the way they swelled up— it was disgusting.

I glare at him, struggling to sit up as I clutch onto my stomach. Day after day, it's another man, or two, or three. All while Jason just watches, and jacks off. Why wouldn't I want to break up with my boyfriend-turned-pimp?

“N-no! You can't break up with me! I won't allow it!” He sobs out, kneeling down to be face-to-face with me. He shakily grips onto my shoulder as he stares into my eyes. “You were doing so well, baby. Why did you have to do this?”

Jason's eyes dim until nothing but shadows remain, my face paling in fear for what he'll do. “J-Jason-”

“You were doing so well…” Jason interrupts me, tears still falling down his face as he speaks. He lets go of my shoulders, but I can't even be relieved by that once he rolls up his sleeves. I wince at the sight of the horizontal scars littering the back of his forearms.

“Do you remember these, honey? You just made me sooooo sad that I had to do this. You made so many mistakes at the beginning.” Jason bitterly chuckles, taking out a switchblade from his pocket. He doesn't even hesitate when dragging the blade across his skin, yet another scar in my conscience. I could tell that it was a deep cut as well. Jason never did shallow ones.

“Jason-!” I scream out, knocking the blade out of his hands. My entire body trembles in fear as I wrap my arms around Jason. Partly to restrain him from harming himself further, and partly to remind myself that he was alive.

“This is your fault, baby. You just had to make me do this.” Jason says, his body limp in my hold. “You knew this would happen. Why would you do this to me? Do you hate me that much?”

I furiously shake my head, immediately revoking my words. “N-no- I-I won't break up with you, okay?! So stop it, already!” I beg Jason, terrified at the amount of blood that was slowly trickling down his arm.

I only grew more desperate when Jason stayed unresponsive. I shakily reach out to hold his hands in mine, not caring about the blood I got on my sleeves. “Honey- My love- P-please…” I sob out, alarmed by his silence. He just stays silent as I cry out to him. Pouring out every bit of my empathy and emotions into my pleas. I was scared, scared of losing him because of me.

I was so selfish. Why did I ever even entertain the idea of leaving my love?

I finally decided to bargain with him. “I-I won't complain anymore! I'll let anyone fuck me! I'll participate in as many orgies as you want! I'll smile at the camera as I spread my legs! Just don't do this anymore!”

My words finally get a response from Jason, a silent gesture of his arms wrapped tightly around my torso. A relieved sob leaves me as I continue to cry into his chest.

I NEED Jason. I NEED him to stay alive. I NEED to stay with him.

I WANT to leave.