I walk around like everything’s fine but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
1724 posts
Emma: Ragtime Jazz Sounds Like How Peanut Brittle Tastes.
Emma: Ragtime jazz sounds like how peanut brittle tastes.
Alyssa:
Alyssa: Emma what the fuck??
Emma: It does! Have you every listened to ragtime jazz?
Alyssa: No???
Emma: I’m telling you, if music had flavors, ragtime jazz, true roaring twenties ragtime, would be peanut brittle.
Alyssa:
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More Posts from Kitkat404
Emma: Ragtime jazz sounds like how peanut brittle tastes.
Alyssa:
Alyssa: Emma what the fuck??
Emma: It does! Have you ever listened to ragtime jazz?
Alyssa: No???
Emma: I’m telling you, if music had flavors, ragtime jazz, true roaring twenties ragtime, would be peanut brittle.
Alyssa:
Daniel: I have been dropping her the most obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Peggy: Wow. She sounds stupid.
Daniel: But she’s not. She’s really smart actually. Just dense.
Peggy: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Daniel: I guess you’re right. Hey Peggy, I love you.
Peggy: See! Just say that!
Daniel: Holy fucking shit.
Peggy: If that flies over her head then, sorry Daniel, but she’s too dumb for you.
Daniel: Peggy.
Daniel: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Peggy: Marry me.
Peggy, texting Rose: *sends a voice message*
Rose, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?
Peggy: No, don’t worry, just listen later.
*later*
Rose: *presses play*
Peggy’s voice message: THERE’S A FIRE
The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.