YOURE IT FOR ME: MOTIVE - CHAPTER FOUR

YOU’RE IT FOR ME: MOTIVE - CHAPTER FOUR

summary: something about him never sat right with you from the moment that you’ve locked eyes with him on campus. you’ve even gone as far as throwing your drink at him at his own release party, yet somehow the universe always brings the two of you together whether you like it or not. but what’s so special about him that makes you associate everything in sight to your hatred towards him?

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adore you!

39.5 - big brain

39.5 - big brain

Summary:Debuting as BE:LIFT Lab's next solo artist, you reunite with your best friend Jungwon in Enhypen! With the groups' quick fondness towards you, a certain member is sure he adores you extra with brotherly and senior care! But what if Jay finds that this doting is unlike his feeling towards his younger members because he definitely does not want to kiss Yang Jungwon like he does to you?!

an: jay/n big brain? More likely than you think. (tbh I want to hear more idol stories tricking dispatch🥴)

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Taglist 1 : (closed <3) @tyunmylove @bubblytaetae @iloveoceaneyes @precioussoulofmine @haijkk @yjwnoot @shwizhies @02zluvbot @sbnchaos @uhsakusa @nicelicious @nshrkilvbt @ineedaherosavemeenow @flwrsforriki @artstaeh @90sni-ki @bigtoewinwin @luvvelxy @arizejkt19 @strwberrydinosaur @ahnneyong @lokideadontheinside @arusio @dasa3040 @flower-lise @cwsana @gauxiana @luveuly @jisingsangsong @bougiesunoo @tlnyjoong @shinsou-rii @iamcreamy888 @stopeatread @nvmbheart @jwsflower @revemixer @mxristars (unable to tag in bold! Pls check your blog setting!💖)

adore you!

36 - next phase

36 - next phase

Summary:Debuting as BE:LIFT Lab's next solo artist, you reunite with your best friend Jungwon in Enhypen! With the groups' quick fondness towards you, a certain member is sure he adores you extra with brotherly and senior care! But what if Jay finds that this doting is unlike his feeling towards his younger members because he definitely does not want to kiss Yang Jungwon like he does to you?!

an: jay our little cute chicken finally messaging y/n🥹 we so proud of you🥹 (totally not bc of won’s ( maybe intentional) mistake but🤭)

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Taglist 1 : (closed <3) @tyunmylove @bubblytaetae @iloveoceaneyes @precioussoulofmine @haijkk @yjwnoot @shwizhies @02zluvbot @sbnchaos @uhsakusa @nicelicious @nshrkilvbt @ineedaherosavemeenow @flwrsforriki @artstaeh @90sni-ki @bigtoewinwin @luvvelxy @arizejkt19 @strwberrydinosaur @ahnneyong @lokideadontheinside @arusio @dasa3040 @flower-lise @cwsana @gauxiana @luveuly @jisingsangsong @bougiesunoo @tlnyjoong @shinsou-rii @iamcreamy888 @stopeatread @nvmbheart @jwsflower @revemixer @mxristars(unable to tag in bold! Pls check your blog setting!💖)

YOU’RE IT FOR ME: MOTIVE - CHAPTER ONE

summary: something about him never sat right with you from the moment that you’ve locked eyes with him on campus. you’ve even gone as far as throwing your drink at him at his own release party, yet somehow the universe always brings the two of you together whether you like it or not. but what’s so special about him that makes you associate everything in sight to your hatred towards him?

a/n: we are finally getting started!! so sorry for the delayed first chapter but it’s finally here!!!

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for worse and for better — cbg

synopsis: you're not expecting any trick-or-treaters to knock on your door during a heavy storm, but choi beomgyu has never been good at following your expectations.

pairing: choi beomgyu x gn!reader (i tried to keep it gender neutral, but if i happened to let anything slip pls let me know!!)

genre: angsty fluff (?), exes to ??? something

content warnings: cursing, mentions of sex (? not really but kinda), mentions of a breakup, mentions of mental and emotional struggles. this is poorly proofread bc...... when do i ever proofread stuff properly tbh lol

word count: 2.4k

song rec: how you get the girl by taylor swift

a/n: i was listening to taylor swift and @tyungun's halloween one shot showed up on my dash. that's all i have to say. i know halloween is over in many timezones and this is kinda rushed but shhhhh it's fine let's just pretend it's good. also shout out to the anon who said they missed my oneshots this one's for u too!

permanent taglist: at the end of the post + the reblogs. click here if you wanna join!

The storm raging outside is definitely ruining some poor children's Halloween, but deep down you're thankful that you don't have to deal with anyone ringing your doorbell and trying to get candy out of you for free. 

It's not that you hate today's date, it's just that it's the first time you're spending Halloween by yourself since… well, since you were a child, and you're not totally fond of that newfound loneliness. The fact that your ex-boyfriend was the biggest Halloween enthusiast you've known and you've spent the past five Halloweens with him also plays a part in why you're feeling more like a Fall version of the Grinch than anything else tonight.

On the bright side, at least now you can indulge in all the candy you originally bought for the kids in your neighborhood. What better way to keep yourself distracted than eating sugar to the point your stomach turns into nothing but pain?

With a terrible (and boring) slasher movie on your TV screen, you reach for another mini chocolate bar. You wish you could just fall asleep already, but you know you're just gonna end up reminiscing for hours if you go to bed right now, so you try to pull through the mess that you've decided to watch for some reason.

You roll your eyes and groan at a highly predictable scene — again, it's boring —, but your whole attitude crashes down when your doorbell suddenly rings, startling you to the point where you nearly fall off the couch.

Who the hell would be at your door right now? It's nearly 9 PM, the heavy rain should be keeping everyone locked inside. Is that some stubborn kid who cares more about candy than about their own health? Aren't the thunders and bolts of lightning enough to scare them off? Or is it the predictable murderer of that stupid movie coming for your ass? 

You ignore it at first, but it rings again, so you let out a deep sigh and drag your feet to the door. Obviously, you wouldn't be stupid to just open the door without knowing who the hell is outside, so you take a look through the peephole, and… Well, it's worse than a ghost or a psychotic masked killer, actually.

In a hurry, your hands unlock the door so you can open it and take a better look at the utter mess that's standing right in front of you.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" You hiss.

"Trick or treat?" Beomgyu asks with the stupidest grin plastered on his face, as if he doesn't look like a puppy who's been thrown into a river and struggled to swim out of it during the thunderstorm that's washing this city right now.

"Are you insane? What the hell are you doing here?" 

His face looks pale, his lips are gaining a blueish tone, the beanie on his head is completely drenched, his dark hair is dripping water, and his body shivers as the cold wind blows against his wet body. And yet, he somehow still finds it in him to chuckle and shrug as if everything's cool.

"Uh, you know, the rain's kinda merciless so I thought I should stop by and check if I didn't leave any of my clothes here so I can maybe change and not be soaked," his tone is not serious at all, which makes you narrow your eyes while his gaze scans your body. "But I see you're already wearing them, so…"

"Shut up," you retort, not wanting to admit you are, indeed, wearing an old t-shirt of his. And you wanna be tough because it's been a long time, but would it be fair to keep him outside in this weather? You don't want him to get sick. So with a sigh, you step aside and open the door a little more. "Come in. You're gonna freeze out there."

He smiles victoriously and does as he's told, not trying to press your buttons too much — at least not yet. His arms cross in an attempt to hold on to any warmth, but you know it's pointless in his state.

"You're so fucking dumb," you scold him as you drag him through your house, pulling him by the arm. "What the hell were you doing out there in the storm? Are you trying to catch a cold? Do you wanna freeze to death?"

He's silent for a moment, and when you reach the bathroom door, he stands and stares at you.

"I just wanted to see you," he admits, dropping the funny act. "It didn't feel right to spend Halloween without you."

It's your turn to stare without saying a word, still trying to decide whether you should be angry, sad, or both. Instead, you just shove him into the bathroom.

"I'll bring you some clothes and a towel."

"Y/N," he holds on to your wrist before you move away. His fingers are as cold as you would expect, and you freeze in place, looking at his pitiful face. "I just– I wanna talk to you. I really–"

"You can talk when you're not shaking like an earthquake," you cut him off harshly.

With his lips quivering, he nods his head and lets go of you.

Not even ten minutes later, he finds you in the kitchen preparing some tea, because you're that much of a helpless idiot.

"I spent half a year looking for these pants, you know," he comments as he leans on a counter. He's now wearing some dry clothes — gray sweatpants, a white t-shirt and a black hoodie —, and is using the towel you gave him to try and dry his hair as much as possible.

"Well, yeah, I forgot to send them back to you." It's bullshit and you know he knows it. You kept a few of his clothes to yourself simply because you couldn't let go of him completely. "But you can take them back now, so yay, I guess."

"If you like them so much, I can send them back to you after I wash them."

You roll your eyes at his attempt to joke about it. It's not the best moment for that. 

"Made you some tea," you cut it off and get close to him just to offer him a mug — the navy blue one with a drawing of the moon that he used to love so much.

He looks at the tea and then at you, and then hangs the towel around his neck before grabbing the drink. "Thank you."

The silence that spreads across the kitchen is almost deadly, but you don't make any effort to break it. On the contrary, you get your own mug and go sit by the table to consume your warm drink in peace. Not that you can attain any real peace when there's that sense of uneasiness washing over your body, but you can at least try.

After a few minutes pass, he decides to go sit across from you, taking a good look at your face without saying anything. You have no idea what's going on in his mind, or why he would go to your place and purposefully get caught in the rain, but you've already asked him about it too many times, and you're not gonna repeat yourself again.

"It's been a long six months," he finally says. "I haven't stopped thinking about you."

"Great way of showing it," you mutter, watching the steam rising from your tea. He never even tried to contact you after dumping your ass for no reason, so it's ironic that he's trying to convince you that you haven't left his mind.

"I know, I– I wasn't in a good headspace. I shouldn't have left you like that, but I felt like staying would be worse."

"Worse than me spending months wondering what I could've possibly done to deserve that?"

"Baby, it wasn't–"

"No, don't you baby me right now," you snap. "One day we were talking about living together, two days later you told me you couldn't be with me anymore? I get that maybe that was a scary step, but if that was the problem, you could've just told me and we could've slowed down. We could've talked about it, we could've fixed things. You never even told me why you left, I just assumed you didn't even love me anymore, and now you come to my place in the middle of a storm just to say you miss me? What's up with that? If you're looking for a quick hook-up, I'm sure you can find one v–"

"Y/N, you're not a 'quick hook-up', what the fuck? I'm not here for sex or whatever it is that you think I want from you. I know you don't even wanna look at me right now." He furrows his eyebrows, seemingly offended by what you're implying. "You're not a thing I can just use and throw away."

"Ha, tell that to your past self."

"I never used you," his tone drops a little. "I know I fucked up and you have the right to be mad at me, but I would never 'use' you. Don't say that."

At a loss for words, you drink some of your tea and avoid his gaze. He's right, that's the one thing you can't say about him. When you were together, he always treated you either like royalty or like a best friend — and, in fact, that's what you were to him.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but this has been eating me alive for months now. And then I found myself sitting alone, watching a dumb Halloween movie and eating your favorite candy by myself, and I just… I wanted to see you. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I really am." He pauses, grasping his mug to keep his hands busy. "I was scared. I had a lot going on in my head. College was pretty much devouring my soul, my dad kept bugging me about what I'm gonna do once I graduate, my mom kept asking me about when I was gonna propose to you, everyone just wanted me to grow up so fast, and I– I couldn't. I was overwhelmed, and I started to feel like shit, and I didn't wanna affect you with the way I was feeling. It wasn't your fault, I just wasn't ready."

Your eyes meet his face, and your brain tries to see things from his perspective. You know Beomgyu's mental health was never the best, so can you really blame him? You remember all the nights you spent holding him close, stroking his hair and just comforting him in silence as he delved into his own thoughts and emotions. He wasn't always the loud and bubbly adult child everyone knew, and you're sure this hasn't changed in a span of six months.

"I know you deserve better and I might be being selfish right now, but I can't stop missing you. We were good together, we've always been a good team." His hand reaches for you across the table, but he doesn't touch you. Instead, he just leaves it there as a silent invitation.

You sigh. "Beomgyu, you can't just come crashing into my life and expect things will go back to how they used to be." Your tone is no longer aggressive, but rather tired. Perhaps a little hopeless, too.

"I know this isn't something I can fix so quickly. But I also know I broke your heart, and I'd like to try to mend it." He holds your gaze, looking as honest as he could right now. "I don't expect you to take me back or jump back into a relationship with me, I just… I don't know, I just want a chance to be back in your life. We could start over, we can take our time, for better or worse. Even if we can't be a couple anymore, I'd like to at least have you as a friend. We were great friends when we were younger, remember? Ten years ago we were trick-or-treating together, arguing about who would get the last Kit Kat that Mr. Park had to offer."

You crack a fond smile at the memory, though you know this is his way of trying to win you over.

"I shouldn't have shared that Kit Kat with you," you mumble, rolling your eyes, and he laughs at your words.

"I think that's when I fell in love with you," he replies softly.

"You were eleven."

"And? Kids can love too," he retorts jokingly, making you chuckle.

He's not wrong, though. You remember your eleven-year-old self staring at him with stars in your eyes on that Halloween night, and the way your heart raced when he pouted because you won at rock-paper-scissors to decide who was gonna keep the chocolate. That's actually the reason why you ended up sharing it with him, after all.

What are you supposed to do in this situation? You miss him too, more than anything. Yes, you're terrified that he might leave again, but what if he doesn't? What if he means every word he said? What if he truly regrets leaving and wants to fix things now? You miss talking to him on the phone, watching movies together, cuddling on the couch, and sharing breakfast before your morning classes. You miss being there for him when he needs you and having him there for you as well when you're not feeling so bright. You miss his light and his shadows, and what he said is true: you were good together, be it as a couple or as friends. You've always been the best team, and your fluttering heart seems to agree.

"Okay," you finally give in and take his hand after a moment of silence, "let's start over and take it slow, then. But just because it's your favorite holiday and I don't have the heart to kick you out in this rain."

He smiles lovingly. "You're too soft-hearted."

"Shut the fuck up." You slap his hand now, before grabbing it once again and intertwining your fingers with his. "You're still on the free trial period. Don't make me regret it."

"Don't worry," he says with that teasing smirk you know too well, "I'll do my best to piss you off every day."

And you know it's gonna take some time until you feel completely safe around him again, but well, you feel like it might be worth the try.

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a taste of something new — soobin x f!reader

41. the hwang yeji effect (part two)

A/N: this is the fifth update in a span of eight days and atp i'm feeling very nan nugu i don't know who i am to be quite honest with you. anw again my tags aren't working for some reason so reblogs will help me loads since tumblr apparently doesn't want me to post this fic 🥰

WARNINGS: swearing, some mild simping, the stuff you're used to at this point

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