l1th1umm

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A Taste Of Something New Soobin X F!reader

a taste of something new — soobin x f!reader

44. you're my friend — WC: 5.4k

A/N: it is time ! this is long as fuck bc it was gonna be two separate chapters but i merged them together so......... ye. technically a double update in one!! yay!! also shoutout to that anon from the other day, you're so valid my friend!! you were so right!! anyway um. there are some spoilers in the warnings so idk beware of that?? don't wanna spoil it but kinda have to for ethical reasons ! anyway hope you enjoy it. please don't murder me. (and i changed the picture of the playlist pls appreciate it /j)

WARNINGS: the usual cursing, mentions of alcohol consumption, being (and kissing) under the influence of alcohol, insecurities, jealousy, arguing, some making out, things get a little heated so beware bc this is the chapter where the 16+ rating and the "might contain suggestive bits" we have in the masterlist warnings come into play i guess? lol but also i'm not good at writing this stuff so it's cool. (if you feel uncomfortable reading the last part of the chapter feel free to skip it!! it's nothing explicit but it's also easily skippable so don't worry)

playlist here | ko-fi | taglist on the reblogs — click here to join!

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A party packed with college students is definitely not Soobin's scene.

He knows it, his friends know it, you know it, anyone who looks at him for longer than five seconds knows it. It's common knowledge, it's like looking up at the sky on a sunny day and saying "hey, the sky looks blue". Of course it does. It's stupidly obvious.

Still, you somehow managed to team up with Yeonjun and drag Soobin to a party along with you. Allegedly, this was supposed to be a little get-together, just a simple fun night with friends at Yeonjun and Beomgyu's place, some games, some drinks, some food. A small party, in his best friend's words. At first, everyone was chilling, talking about the most random things, playing stupid games together, etc. But slowly, to Soobin's dismay, more and more people started to arrive.

It shouldn't be a big event, Yeonjun assured and reassured him of that multiple times, so why is it that there's what feels like a million people crowding every possible space of that apartment, drinks in hands, bodies all dancing along to some loud music with unintelligible lyrics muffled by the beats and the bass?

This is hell.

No, this is worse than hell. Soobin is 100% convinced that not even the devil himself would like to be up there right now.

He has watched too many people disgustingly making out, too many bodies clashing together, and he's honestly worried that someone might fuck someone else's brains out on one of his friends' beds at some point tonight. These are the times when he's thankful he no longer lives with them. Imagine the horror of having strangers contaminating his bed with their own bodily fluids! That's something he'd never want to go through, something nobody should ever go through.

His multiple attempts to find a way out of there all failed because of you. All it took was a simple whiny "come on, I promise we'll leave soon, but please let's have fun just for a little longer" and some tender kisses across his dumb fucking face, and he was incapable of saying no.

See, Soobin's a whipped man and he admits it.

Well, not to you or his friends or anyone who might point that out, but he still admits it to himself, and that's what matters, right? He keeps trying to believe that maybe if he changes one thing or another about himself, you'll be able to see him in a different light.

You even managed to convince him to dance to a few songs before the place became unbearably jammed, that's how head over heels he is for you. However, you don't seem to realize that not even Choi Yeonjun, the "legend" himself, is capable of getting Soobin to dance to loud music in a crowded space, fighting against the redness on his face and the self-consciousness that makes him feel like everyone's staring — especially now that his hair is blond and he constantly feels like he's standing out.

You're living proof that Lucifer was once an angel, because you, too, look like one. While you were dancing carelessly, just having fun with your friends and letting go of all your worries, carrying the most beautiful smile on your face, he watched you with wonder, silently asking himself how is it possible that someone could shine as much as you do.

But when you tell him you're gonna get him another drink and you'll be right back, and then you leave him by himself in a corner and disappear for ten whole minutes, he fears he might find another side of you if he tries to find where you are right now.

He still does, though, because he doesn't wanna be alone in the crowd, and his friends are all busy with other people, and he's starting to feel a little anxious, despite the alcohol in his blood.

As soon as he walks into the kitchen, he regrets his decision. Actually, all of the decisions he has made this week. Perhaps this whole year.

There you are, painfully close to some guy with purple hair and a handsome face, smiling like you're standing in front of the most beautiful masterpiece you've ever seen. The guy says something, and you laugh and push his shoulder affectionately, and your voice sounds so sweet when you reply with an "oh, shut up!" that it actually makes Soobin feel sick. Is that why you've been gone for so long? Were you distracted trying to find someone who could keep you entertained? Is he that boring? Why did you insist on dragging him to this party, then? You could've just gone by yourself and you wouldn't be stuck with him right now.

But well, you've managed to get him to drink something earlier, therefore he's not entirely sober, and that's probably what gives him enough courage to put on a pretty smile and come up to you after you laugh again while touching the man's shoulder for a second (and unnecessary) time.

It's all just a play, right? He's just playing his part.

"Hey, baby." He slings an arm around your shoulders, gently pulling you closer and kissing your temple.

The other guy's smile becomes a little awkward as his eyes scan Soobin's large, tall figure. Your fake boyfriend might not be the type of guy who would beat someone up, but that random dude doesn't really give off the vibe of someone who would throw hands because of a girl who's already taken either, so he doesn't think he'll get into any trouble if he stands his ground.

"Baby?" Minho echoes, clearly lost, and redirects his gaze to you. "Didn't know you had a boyfriend, Y/N."

"Oh," you sound a little awkward at first, but you end up smiling. "Yeah, this is Choi Soobin, my boyfriend. He's best friends with Yeonjun and Beomgyu, the guys throwing this party!" Your arms go around his waist, keeping him close to make sure you actually look like a couple.

"Hey. I'm Lee Minho, nice to meet ya," the purple-haired guy says, offering his hand, and Soobin shakes it as firmly as possible, as if to demonstrate he's not as weak as he might look — spoiler: he actually is.

"Right back at you."

"So, um, I should get back to my friends now. See you guys around, though!" Minho waves briefly and leaves the kitchen at the first opportunity.

The second you get to be alone with Soobin, you roll your eyes at him and slap his arm.

"What the fuck was that about?"

"I should be the one asking you that question," he counters, letting go of you as you do the same. "Are you out of your mind? Flirting with someone else at my best friends' party? Can't you wait for just a little longer and do that next week?"

"What?" You raise your eyebrows in surprise. "I wasn't flirting!"

"Oh, yeah, you definitely weren't. Oh, Minho, you're so hot and funny and I wish I could leave this place with you, but unfortunately I still have to pretend I have a boyfriend!" He mocks your voice and shows a fake smile to go with it, gesturing his hand in a pseudo-cutesy way in an attempt to represent the way you seemed to be behaving before he showed up.

You stare at him through narrowed eyes, pressing your lips in a thin line for a moment. "Are you drunk or are you jealous right now, Choi Soobin?"

It's his turn to scoff at your accusation, convinced that his demeanor wouldn't be enough to make you come to that conclusion.

"I'm not drunk, I didn't even drink that much. And we're not a real thing, I don't care who you kiss or wanna hook up with," he sounds a little more passive-aggressive than he'd like. However, he wouldn't want anyone to come into the kitchen and hear him saying that, so that's why he's doing his best to keep his voice at a whisper level. "But I've been forced into this fake relationship for long enough to have the right to prefer not to be tagged as the guy whose girl cheated on him. Again. So if you could j–"

While he's trapped in his little angry lecture, your eyes peek behind him for a brief moment, and in the next second you're cutting him off, pulling him by the shirt and kissing his lips hurriedly. His body responds immediately, instinctively pushing you against the refrigerator and gripping your waist as he leans down to kiss you back. He's sure you can feel his anger in the way his lips move against yours, and your mouth tastes just like the last drink you shared with him, and he hates how much he likes that.

The little moment doesn't last too more than mere seconds, though, because you're soon interrupted by the sound of Taehyun clearing his throat and Sunoo snickering.

Soobin pulls away, but not too much. He's panting slightly, his eyes are fixed on yours, and he can feel his face heating up. You lean in to steal another peck and then a smirk shows up on your lips, which only makes matters worse.

"Dude, if you need a bedroom you can use the guest one. It used to be yours, anyway," he hears Beomgyu say, which is great, because that means there are at least three people behind him right now. "Just don't contaminate my kitchen, please."

Your fake boyfriend forces out a chuckle, but lets go of your body and then shakes his head.

See, the problem with all of this is not that he got caught kissing you, but rather the fact that you only kissed him because there were other people coming into the kitchen. He stupidly thought that maybe, just maybe, you actually wanted to kiss him, but in reality you were just trying to shut him up to make sure no one else would hear him going off about how you were clearly all over Minho just a few moments ago.

It's a blow to his face, a reminder that he's nothing but a stupid idiot, and that he should get over the desire of ever being anything to you.

And it's fine. It is. He'll be happy to be your friend! He knows you're a good friend to keep around, and he also knows you don't owe him anything, so he's not gonna be one of those guys who go around whining about being "friendzoned". He just needs to deal with the frustration of his unreciprocated feelings first.

"I was just kissing her goodbye." His eyes drop to your lips, unable to keep eye contact for too long. "I'm kinda tired, I'm going home."

"Didn't look like a goodbye kiss to me, but whatever you say." Beomgyu shrugs. "I need something from the fridge though, so can you maybe, I don't know, move the fuck away from there?"

After taking a deep breath, Soobin kisses your forehead and steps away from you.

"Have fun, baby," he tells you softly before turning around to leave. "You guys too. I'll see you tomorrow, probably."

Taehyun's suspicious gaze falls on him, but the youngest doesn't say anything. Instead, he just wishes Soobin a good night and keeps on watching.

"Wait." You reach for his arm to stop him from moving. "I'll go with you. Sunoo's probably gonna need the apartment for himself and I'll have nowhere to sleep. Can I just crash at yours tonight?"

Your roommate's face twists in utter confusion when he looks at you, but after you raise your eyebrows and gesture (not so) subtly at him, he just sighs and nods.

"Yeah, well, if everything works out I'm, uh, not leaving this place alone, so…" Sunoo trails off in an attempt to follow your blatant lie, though he's clearly holding back a smirk — while Beomgyu just watches the whole scene unfold, not understanding a single thing, and Taehyun's eyes remain focused on Soobin's figure.

The oldest has to force himself not to roll his eyes at this whole clownery, but a deep sigh still escapes from him.

"Sure. Come on, baby." He holds your hand and bows to the others.

"Tell Yeonjun the party's great! Good job, both of you. Sorry for leaving so early," you say to Beomgyu before saying your goodbyes to him and the others, and then you follow Soobin on his way out.

As soon as you're outside, he lets go of your hand and crosses his arms, not sparing a single look in your direction. You try to get his attention, but he refuses to respond, feeling too broody to engage in whatever conversation you intend to have.

It's only when both of you are in the backseat of a cab that he opens his mouth again.

"Why did you do that?"

"Did what?" You play dumb, observing him carefully.

He can't read your thoughts, but he's still pissed about your demeanor.

"All of that. You lied. Everyone there knows you were lying and you had no reason to come along with me, but you put me on the spot. I had to say yes or else I'd look like a shitty boyfriend," he explains, doing his best to keep his voice low.

"Should've said no, then," you shrug, "we could use that for our little show next week."

He scoffs out of frustration and runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. He really must look like a clown right now.

You lean closer to him, as if to analyze his face, showing a pout that makes his blood boil. Why do you have to look so adorable at all fucking times? He's trying to stay mad at you. You left him all alone in the middle of too many people just to flirt with someone else, then you kissed him just to shut him up, now you wanna pout and act like you don't know what's going on?

Maybe he deserves that. Maybe that's the universe teaching him not to be so stupid. He shouldn't be falling for someone like you, he knows it would never work out, he knows you'll never see him the same way he sees you, he knows all of this is pointless. You'll be breaking up in a week anyway, as you keep making a point of reminding him, so why is he even wasting his time trying to adjust himself to please you? He's clearly not your type. He should let it go. He should let you go.

"Why are you so mad tonight? Come on, you were having fun like twenty minutes ago," you remind him, poking his waist.

"I'm not mad," he counters, pushing your hand away, so you laugh quietly.

"But you are! It's hot, though, so it's fine, keep it going." You cup his face and kiss his cheek, and that's enough to make him flustered, so he lets out a huff of air and looks out the window with his arms folded. "Oh, come on, are you seriously gonna keep up the attitude?"

"I'm just tired, Y/N. Can I just be quiet for a moment?"

"Okay, baby. Be quiet then." You raise your index finger to your mouth, clearly holding back a smile. "Shh, I won't say a word. Grumpy baby is grumpy," you whisper and lay your head on his shoulder.

He immediately moves it in a subtle attempt to push you away yet again, and thankfully you get the message, so you just groan and move away from him, also crossing your arms.

Needless to say, the silence that sits between the two of you for the rest of the ride is far from comfortable, but neither of you makes any effort to try and change that.

"Here," he opens the door and gestures for you to get in, "happy?"

"Yeah, I'm glowing. Wouldn't wanna be anywhere other than here, in the sweet company of such a lovely being as yourself," you poke fun at his obvious lack of humor as you step into his apartment and start to take your shoes off.

He rolls his eyes and does the same as you as soon as he closes the door, wishing for nothing but some peace. While bending to take off his shoes, he nearly loses his balance, but his hand quickly finds the wall to keep him steady.

"Why are you even here, Y/N?" He doesn't mean to sound so dry, it just happens naturally when he's feeling overwhelmed and doesn't know how to deal with it. It doesn't help that he's still a little lightheaded.

The whole thing was a disaster and he deeply regrets even saying yes to the idea of going to that party in the first place. He can still taste the bitterness in his mouth just from seeing you act all flirty with that guy, and all he wants is to forget the past couple of hours. Maybe the past four months. His life was much easier before you came crashing his walls down.

"Because you're mad at me for some reason, and I'm not gonna have you giving me the cold shoulder for days again. We already did that once and that was more than enough," you explain, making him laugh bitterly.

"For some reason? Are you for real?" He scoffs. He can't believe it. Are you really that dense? Do you actually not see what could've happened if someone had caught you in the act? All jealousy aside, it was a risky move on your part. And now he's stuck here with you, because if he sends you back home, Sunoo's gonna be suspicious of it. "Yeah, okay, whatever. I'll make the bed for you and we can just forget everything. Okay? Great." He turns on his heels and tries to walk away, but you grab his wrist and force him to stay right there, in the small space at the entrance.

"Soobin, come on. You're not like this. Talk to me."

He groans, staring at the hand that's holding him in place as if it could contaminate him with something dangerous. He doesn't wanna do this right now, because he knows he's not sober enough — he's in this annoying in-between stage where he's not drunk, so he's kind of conscious of his actions, but he's also not completely in his right mind —, which means he's bound to say something he will regret, and he doesn't wanna deal with the consequences of anything tomorrow.

"Hey," you insist softly, taking a step closer to him, "please." His eyes focus on your face, a frown knitting his eyebrows together. You're so fucking frustrating. "You said you weren't mad in the cab, and now you agreed that you are, and I don't know what happened. What's going on?"

"You know damn well why I'm mad, I've already told you." He shakes his wrist out of your grasp. "You left me all alone to go flirt with some other guy at my best friends' place. What more do you wanna hear?"

"I wasn't flirting."

"You were."

"I seriously wasn't!" Why do you look like you're about to laugh? Is any of this funny to you? Is his existence a joke now?

"You clearly were all over that dude, but that's not the goddamn point," he cuts off the back-and-forth, because he knows the two of you could keep it going for hours. "It's not the fact that you were flirting–"

"I wasn't."

"– it's the fact that you were doing it in a place where you're supposed to be my girlfriend." What else could he say without giving away the fact that he is, indeed, pissed off because you were flirting with someone who wasn't him? More than that, you've never even tried to flirt with him! Not for real, at least, just as a stupid joke. Is he that unlikeable? Is he that much of a clown in your eyes? "I know we only have a few days left, but you know about my past. I don't want everyone to go around saying I'm the guy every girl cheats on just because I'm so fucking boring–"

"You're not boring."

"– that no one would want to stay with me. And more than that, what do you think would happen if Beomgyu caught you doing that at his party? After he was the one who busted Jiwon, who also happened to be a close friend of his? He'd be mad at you, and he'd be destroyed by that, because he actually cares a lot about you, and he trusts you. Like honestly, if you wanna go and make me look like the most unlovable fucking loser out there, sure–"

"I don't."

"– go ahead and do it. Be my guest. But please don't mess with my friends. This fucking idiot is a lot more sensitive than he lets on, so–"

"Soobin," you grab his hands unexpectedly, making him shut up and look at you, "stop. You're honestly using more words than you would in a whole week right now. I mean, it looks kinda hot, I gotta admit, but I'm worried your head might explode," you try to joke, but his only reaction is to roll his eyes, so you sigh in defeat. "Okay, fine. Please don't say that. I don't wanna upset Beomgyu. And I wouldn't do anything to upset you, either."

Ha, now that's ironic, isn't it? Very rich, coming from you. Hilarious.

"You literally kissed me just to shut me up," he points out.

You furrow your eyebrows and blink a few times before responding.

"Are you upset that I kissed you? Is that the problem?" Your hands still hold his own in place, and he just stares at you in disbelief for a moment. Why would he be mad that you kissed him? That's not the problem there. The problem is what led you to do that. He just said it!

"Just forget it."

"You grabbed my waist and kissed me back, though," you keep going, stopping him once again from leaving when he tries to turn around for a second time. "Baby…" Your hands carefully bring him closer, and he hates how pretty you look under the single light that illuminates the entrance while you're being so mean to his heart.

"Don't call me that," he protests and you twist your lips.

"Hm… Okay, Mr. Grumpy." Your eyes focus on his, captivating him in a way that makes it impossible for him to get away from you. "What's the matter, then? Do you think I kissed you just because I wanted to cut you off and nothing else? Is that why you're mad?"

"Yes," the word comes out without his consent, making him curse himself mentally. What the fuck, brain?

The tiny smile painted on your mouth as realization seems to dawn on you is the cruelest thing he has ever seen, and when your right hand cups his face and your thumb traces a line under his bottom lip, he feels like he might not have enough strength to fight against whatever you're trying to do right now.

"You have the prettiest lips I've ever seen," your tone is a lot softer now, as opposed to your intense gaze that diverts between his eyes and his mouth. "Did you know that? I've kissed so many lips, but somehow you still got the prettiest ones. Sometimes I wonder how they're even real."

Why is God testing him now?

"We should just get ready for bed, we can have this conversation tomorrow. It's late and you're drunk, and you need to sleep," he finds the last drop of common sense to say, trying to ignore the fluttering in his chest, but you shake your head slightly.

"I'm not drunk."

"You're not sober either," he counters.

You giggle and reach up to kiss his face, and he's convinced that if Satan really exists, the guy sent you to Earth specifically to tempt him.

"Come on, baby. No, sorry, not baby. Mr. Grumpy." You pout. "Didn't you wanna keep kissing me at the party?"

"Y/N, for real, whatever you're trying to do right now, stop. You're gonna regret this in the morning."

"I won't. Do you realize how good you look tonight?" You leave another peck on his face, now on his other cheek. "I've… been wanting to kiss you all night. But– not like the little kisses you give me in front of our friends, no. From the moment we picked you up, I just wanted to push you against a wall and–"

"Stop." Fuck, you're really getting him worked up with just a few words. "You know this is wrong."

"Why would it be wrong?" You sound so genuinely confused it actually pains him.

"You're my friend."

"You're my boyfriend." One more gentle kiss is planted on his face, so close to his lips this time that he can feel his stomach twisting, so he closes his eyes and tries to fight it.

"I'm your fake boyfriend, and only for another week. After that–"

"After that, we break up and I won't see you for a while," you supply. "But that's why we should enjoy it while it lasts. We deserve it, don't you think?" You gently rub the tip of your nose on his cheek and run your fingers down his chest, and at this point he's not sure how his heart hasn't blown up yet. "Can you… just look at me? Just for a moment?"

Taking a deep breath, he allows his gaze to meet yours when you pull back. It's hard to keep his eyes trained on you, but he makes an effort to do so.

"I need you to be honest, can you do that for me?" You ask quietly while staring at him with your big doe eyes, making him forget he's supposed to be mad at you — or at least stop you from doing what you're doing — so he just nods. "Don't think about me, or the party, or the consequences right now… I wanna know what you want. If you want me to stop, just say so and I'll leave you alone, I promise. But if you don't," your noses touch and, once again, his eyes close instinctively at the proximity and the subtle change in your tone, "then I'd like it if you kissed me the way you did that day in your ki–"

Before you finish your sentence in a whisper, the fire burning his intoxicated soul has already taken over his body, so he grabs your waist and presses his lips against yours. He pushes you against the wall behind you, and when you groan softly at the impact, he knows there's no coming back from this one.

Unlike the times he's kissed you in front of other people, and unlike the delicate tone you were using on him, there's no room for sweetness or softness right now. Your lips are just as hungry as his, as if both of you have craved each other for way too long to act like anything but desperate teenagers. Reasonably enough, it only takes a few minutes for his tongue to come into play at the first opportunity he gets, deepening the kiss into something even more heated. Your hands are all over each other's bodies, grabbing, touching, pulling, feeling whatever both of you can reach, hastily taking whatever you can take from that moment.

He knows he shouldn't do this, but any sign of regret that could show up in his brain is clouded by the taste of alcohol in your mouth, the scent of your perfume, and the touch of your fingers when they find their place among the roots of his hair just to pull at them.

When he presses his right hand against the cold wall beside your head to keep some balance, he feels you holding the left one and guiding it over your body, encouraging him to explore your curves more bravely. He could probably die right now, judging by how fast his heart is beating, but he still focuses on simply feeling you.

Your teeth tug at his lower lip, and then your lips escape from his mouth just to find their way down to his jawline, leaving him to try and catch a breath as his chest rises and falls rapidly.

His eyes don't open, though, and when your kisses trail down to his neck, a soft gasp leaves his lips.

"Y/N…" His voice isn't much louder than a whisper.

"Hm?" You're still kissing and nibbling at his skin, your other hand now sneaking under his shirt to touch his stomach and send shivers running down his body.

"We shouldn't do this," he tries to fish for some last drop of sanity in his mind, but God, is it hard when you giggle against his skin and your nails run down his stomach so gently it leaves him wishing for more. "We sh– fuck, we should stop."

"You told me you'd be honest," you mumble, letting go of the hand you were guiding, but he doesn't stop ghosting it over your body and that's more than enough to make you smirk. Your lips find his mouth once again just to give him a quick peck, and the sight of you as breathless as he is could probably drive him insane. "Do you want to stop?"

His chest rises and falls in his attempt to bring his breathing down to a regular pace, he tries to fix his eyes on yours, but your red lips look far more tempting now. He wonders if you've left any lipstick stains on his skin, and if the teasing on his neck would become a hickey later. He hopes the answer is yes. He wants to feel like he's yours, even if it doesn't last long.

"Soobin," his name has never sounded so beautiful to his own ears, "stop fighting. We can stop whenever you want, but just… Just do what you wanna do right now. Please," you murmur. "I haven't touched anyone in months and I'm… dying to find out what your hands feel like when they're on me, what you look like when I turn you into a mess." You steal another quick kiss and take his hands on yours, once again guiding him through your body. "We can forget about this in the morning," you whisper against his lips. "But right now I wanna feel you. I need to feel you."

And, well, now the big problem is that there are way too many problems there.

He wants you, he feels it, and he knows it's kind of late to try and deny it when your bodies are so close that you can probably feel it too. On the other hand, he knows this is just you being sex-deprived for months when you used to get whoever you wanted, whenever you wanted. Is he willing to let you use him like that? Should he use you like that? Neither of you is sober. Besides, he's not that experienced. What if it's disappointing for you? And what if–

"Baby, stop overthinking," you whine, leaning to brush your lips over his neck again. You nibble at his skin and soothe it with your tongue, and while you encourage him to feel your body under his touch, he completely gives up on the idea of acting like a decent man. "Let me touch you… Please."

"God," that's the only thing he manages to say as the shivers move up his spine. You're gonna kill me, he thinks.

"I promise I'll be good to you. I'll teach you how to feel good." Your hands go back to his body, feeling him up and down, teasing him.

Fuck it. It's already gonna be awkward on the next day anyway, so he might as well go all in before it all burns to ashes. He flips the switch and lets his inner desires take over his actions. He might not be the most experienced person you've been with, but he's still a quick learner, and he's sure you're a good teacher, so what could go wrong?

"Fine," he mutters, letting go of you just to get rid of your shirt, and when you giggle one more time, he mirrors what you were just doing a moment ago by kissing your neck — and maybe accidentally leaving a small lovebite on your soft skin — and your collarbones, giving you the start on what's probably gonna be a long night.

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