Behind Closed Doors [Prince! Denmark X Reader]

Behind closed doors [Prince! Denmark x reader]

Wordcount: 7, 657 Synopsis: After the prince hurts his leg in a horse-riding accident, you’re tasked with serving him. You’re confused why such a prestigious job fell into your hands, a beginner, but you soon realize that being his servant is to also be a friend. Soon, your relationship transpires into something much deeper. When you run away, fearing the consequences, he stops at nothing to get you back. Content warning: Adult themes and Strong NSFW later in the story. Strictly R18+ Translations: skat = treasure/honey/sweetie min kære = my dear The reader is referred to as she/her.

Behind closed doors

[Prince! Denmark x reader]

Growing up, you’ve always been immune to the glory surrounding the royal family. A given, considering your family had always been part of it in some way—as the servants, of course. So, as stately, dignified, and powerful they were, you never made a fuss once you finally rose up to meet your fate. Being a part of the ranks as one of the maids. But there was one thing you never expected to do, ever.

“Wait, wait, wait a second. You’re telling me I have to do what?” You questioned, leaning into an older woman as your voice turned into a hushed whisper. She merely nodded, settling a calm hand on your shoulder. “But, I can’t! I’m young, inexperienced, and I still have a lot to live for! I’m not cut out for this.”

Seeing her lack of reaction only coaxed more panic to race through your eyes.

“That’s exactly why you’re cut out for this.”

She moved her other hand to your shoulder. Feeling her hold you so carefully was more therapeutic than anything. Paired with that gentle, albeit serious gaze, she shattered your resolve to refuse. “You’re more capable than you think, (F/N). This will only prove that. You have to trust yourself like I do you.”

“Maybe, but—” You wanted to believe her. But serving the prince himself? Directly? Shouldn’t that job be reserved for her, not you? Ida was the head maid and had decades of experience fluffing up pillows fit for a king. You were still a learner. “I still don’t understand why I was picked for this. Wouldn’t they want someone better?”

Ida merely laughed, “but you are the best.”

Leading you down the warm halls, which consisted of rich crimson walls and shimmering candelabrums, she continued with an arm around your shoulder. “Prince Mathias has been unwell ever since that horse-riding accident in the mountains.” You looked at her warily, unsure of what she was getting at. “Pretty self-explanatory.”

She stopped you in front of a pair of double doors. They spoke of grandeur, much like the rest of the castle. “He’s getting better, but physical health is nothing without mental health.” She smiled reassuringly, beckoning you forward with a pat on your lower back. “He needs a friend, you see.”

A door opened, revealing a middle-aged man with spectacles. He stepped out and nodded curtly. If you recalled correctly, he was the royal doctor.

“Ida. Here to see to Prince Mathias?” He began.

You tensed up. She patted your back again.

“No, but she is,” Ida replied, turning to you for one last look of encouragement. “He’s in good hands. Go on, skat. You’ll do wonderful.” With that said, she walked off with the man, leaving you by yourself in the empty doorway. How daunting. There, in the prince’s bedroom, was the famed royal himself, Mathias Densen.

Dressed in a loose white blouse and sleeping pants, he’d taken a seat on one of the spare chairs lying around. It was refreshing seeing him in such a casual fit, and daresay even calming. His left leg was wrapped up in bandages and seeing it was the invisible push you needed to walk inside. His condition was worse than you pictured.

“Your majesty,” You bowed, keeping your head down while you spoke. He collected his crutch and used it to stand up slowly. Then, he made his way over.

With your head hanging low, he could barely make out your face. But from the length of your dress, he immediately drew this conclusion—you were young. Most of the maids were middle-aged or elderly, and their skirts reached the floor.

Yours barely reached your knees.

“I’ll be your attending maid for the coming months. Anything you’ll need assistance with, will be my responsibility.” Mathias managed an eager smile. The atmosphere was thicker than he liked, but never mind that. He’d been pretty miserable holed up in his room lately, and seeing somebody new had his extroverted heart pounding in excitement.

You could hear the gentle thuds of his crutch as he got closer and closer. Your chest mimicked the thumps, having become both nervous and confused as to why he wasn’t saying anything. The tension in the air was finally lifted when you felt a few fingers on your chin, then lift your face. He touched you.

“Your majesty—?”

What he immediately saw was a pair of wide, innocent eyes, gawking at him like he’d just kicked a puppy. So, he released you with a gentle laugh.

“At ease, min kære. I’m not gonna eat you.” He leaned on one side, but still beamed down at you thanks to his towering height. “I know we’re supposed to keep things professional, but it gets a little... Disheartening, don’t you think?” There was a childish glint in the prince’s eyes while he spoke. As a result, his unassuming persona practically made him impossible to ignore.

“I guess so.” You responded, averting his gaze. Idle chatter was always frowned upon in the castle, especially between royals and their subjects. But like he inferred, you were young. Protocols and rules haven’t done a number on you yet.

“Ida did say you needed someone to talk to.”

Mathias nodded thoughtfully. “Well, tell her I said thanks. I thought I’d end up with an old guy or something. But looks like... You’re around my age.” You returned his gaze, taken aback by the remark, but even more so by the close proximity between your faces. The crown prince was a tenacious man.

“So, what’s your name?”

After serving him lunch, he insisted to go on a walk to get to know you better. The man was so keen, it was almost as if he never had those bandages around his leg. You relented, and so did his advisor, having grown too used to his whims. As dim-witted as this decision was, none of you were in the position to defy the will of the prince. And boy, was he a handful.

“They kept on telling me not to do it, going, oh, but Prince Mathias, you’ll hurt yourself if you ride out that recklessly in the snow! The weather is terrible and blah. But you know what I said?” The clopping of his crutch was constant background noise to this conversation, which slowly became one-sided. “I just went, if you really think I’m a prince, then you’ll let me do what I want! And, boom.”

There was not a single dash of regret in his words, and you had to say, you admired his stupidity.

“I... Wow. You must be a pain to look after.” You commented mindlessly in a laugh. He nodded fervently to agree, but you couldn’t share his enthusiasm. “... Fantastic.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Mathias sighed, dragging out the ‘fun’.

“Yeah, maybe for you. But where’s the fun for me?”

“When you watch me do stuff, of course.”

You craned your head to the side, enthralled. His character was strangely refreshing, being the personification of a golden retriever. Confident, bubbly, and never unpleasant. It was only the first day, and you had a feeling Ida was right all along.

“Just how interesting could you be?”

He seemed to have taken that as a challenge.

A few days later, the prince and his advisor gathered for tea. You did the honors of preparing it, along with cutting them slices of a freshly baked apple cake. You expected to be trembling before the scrutiny of the advisor, Vic, Mathias called him, the mastermind behind major decisions in the kingdom.

But he had a way to calm your nerves.

While the older man droned on and on about the politics and economics of the state, he rubbed his chin and made an intensely focused face to mimic him. Then, he closed his eyes to make a posh, distinguished expression while lipsyncing, ‘the state of this kingdom cannot be overlooked, and it is of insurmountable importance that you, my dear prince, are involved.’

The accuracy and timing were so impeccable, you nearly spilled some tea biting back your snickers. He made the right hand gestures to match, too.

Seeing your cheeks flush from hysteria made him light up. It had been so long since someone looked at him this way, he couldn’t help gleaming at you for a moment of distraction. Eventually, the other person in the room noticed, smacking him on the back of the head with a folded newspaper. “Ah-”

“Stop ogling the maid and focus!” Vic scolded, much to his embarrassment.

You turned away and worked with the teapot.

While Mathias rubbed his nape sheepishly, he snuck an expectant glance at you. He wondered what was going through your mind, but he figured it was only good things seeing a smile tease at your lips. He smiled so wide, his cheeks began to hurt. Then, his chest warmed with exhilaration.

“Thanks for what you did back there, prince.” You whispered as he closed the door, leaving the advisor inside to monologue. He no longer needed a crutch, but he still got around with a slight limp. Taking your arm in his, he walked you down the quiet crimson halls. Everything felt so natural with him, you never found yourself questioning it. “I thought he’d be breathing down my neck, waiting for me to mess up.”

“Not when he’s too busy breathing down mine,” The blonde grinned, “I’m used to it, but you probably aren’t. I had to steal the show, didn’t I?”

The man was hardly serious, let alone fond of authority, ironically enough.

“And did you just call me prince? I don’t like that.”

“Then, what do you want me to call you?” You mused, never anticipating what he was about to do.

Stopping in front of the maids’ quarters, he took one of your hands into his. He touched you again, just like he did the first time he met you. Was this going to be a regular thing? It left you a little flustered, but not as much as the serious gaze he held on you. You’ve never seen such a sincere look on him, but strangely enough, it suit him.

“Mathias.” This was a side of him you didn’t know about, and you honestly weren’t sure what you were delving into. “But call me Mat when we’re alone.”

But it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?

A month went by serving the prince, and you both grew inexplicably closer. Turns out, helping him with every little thing in the day meant spending an awful lot of time together—waking him up as his personal alarm clock, getting him dressed, serving him food, pouring his drinks, keeping his room from turning into a pigsty, ironing his clothes, the list just went on.

He even refused to go outside the castle without you, meaning you eventually had to tag along on business trips, hikes, and other aristocratic activities.

It eventually reached the point where he was never seen without you.

“He really likes that maid, doesn’t he?” Victor commented mindlessly, peering at you both. Out there in the palace gardens, you and Mathias were fooling around in the grass. He couldn’t stop gloating about how his leg was all healed up and gave you a piggyback-ride to prove it.

“Is he... Pretending to be a horse?” He narrowed his eyes in disapproval, and even more so when he heard neighing and purring. “... He is.”

“That boy has always been a handful.” Ida cackled warmly. “But I always liked handfuls.”

Mathias was chewing up grass, now. You gawked at him in sheer disbelief. “Mat, what’re you—spit it out, you idiot!” He refused, leaving you no choice but to get your hands dirty. Opening up his mouth, you did your damndest to remove all the strokes of green inside. “You’re disgusting! Did you forget we went to the stables today? We stepped in sh—”

“Shoot! I totally forgot!” He coughed, spluttering violently to get everything off his tongue. He resorted to blowing raspberries to get everything out. “Ppllt—why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“How was I supposed to know you were gonna eat grass?” You exclaimed, standing up slowly and leaving him on the ground. Your chest was rising and falling heavily while you walked off. “You’re stupid.”

Mathias jumped up eagerly.

“Stupid is as stupid does.”

You shook your head and stifled back another smile. This man was impossible. But he was beginning to grow on you, as evident in how your cheeks flushed red in joy. He caught on immediately, and it drew him in like moths to a flame. It was irresistible seeing you like this, so he never hesitated to stumble forward and slump onto you. “So, where to next, boss?”

“The bathroom. If you swallow, you’ll die in seven days to some mysterious disease.”

“... I think I just did.”

As you both left, your jubilant laughter echoed off the walls. It was music to her ears, but he couldn’t share the sentiment—just how close had the prince grown to you? This could be the scandal of the century!

“So long as they’re nothing more than friends. It’s bad enough he’s talking to the help.” Ida glared at him for a hot second, then raised a hand like she was about to slap him. Victor shrunk into his neck immediately. It was a menacing sight to behold, one would’ve thought it was her who ran the house.

“I’m the help, you scum.” She lowered her hand, but her glower on him never faltered. “Don’t forget we started in the same place. And mind you, the prince actually likes me.”

“Have it your way. But things won’t always stay like this.” The man grumbled under his breath. A threatening kind of shrewdness glinted in his beady gray eyes when he added this.

“The prince will need to marry soon. I’m sure the future queen won’t tolerate such careless mingling between the ranks. And certainly not such blatant challenges to authority.”

Eight months passed, and the question as to whether touching you would be a regular thing was answered. He made it a habit to hold your hand whenever he could. It took a while for you to get used to, but it helped to think he was a generally touchy person. So, you were lenient. But perhaps, you’ve been too lenient. A meaningful friendship was beginning to transpire into something else.

His mischievous stares in the halls no longer had that childish light in them. Instead, they grew longing. Longing couldn’t be without sadness, so it never drove you away. In fact, it brought you closer. You would soon learn that was a mistake on your part.

High up in the mountains at his private residence, the harbor could be seen connecting the kingdom to the fjord beyond. It boasted bright aquamarine waters and was frequented by magnificent ships that came and went. After noticing your attention to him wasn’t impartial anymore, he glanced up to what you’d been fixated on.

“You like the view?”

“Definitely. I wonder if the rest of the world looks like that. Outside of this fjord.” You mused, lingering on the beautiful scenery for a moment longer. You and Mathias were out on the balcony, resting against the wooden banister. “I’ll have to use my imagination.”

“Or I could just take you there. I got my own ship, you know. But it needs a whole crew to get it going.”

A few moments of silence passed, and his gaze on you grew too hot for you to stomach.

“But I don’t like that. I’d rather go with just you,” Reaching up to your bare back, uncovered thanks to the dress you wore, he grazed his fingertips over it carefully. He watched you intently for you to react, and react you did—just not in the way he wanted.

“Mat, stop that.” You urged, giving him a look.

“Why?” Mathias’s brushes on your skin turned into gentle rubs. He dug into the nodules of your spine, and the pressure made you shiver. Watching you tremble under his touch made his chest ache with desire, and it showed in his growing blush.

“Just stop it. You’re making me uncomfortable.” Shaking him off, you pulled away and moved to the other side of the balcony. You didn’t like the way he stared at you. It was almost as if he was seeing you in that kind of light, and it scared you more than anything. If only your heart wasn’t pounding so hard.

“Is it because you don’t like me?”

He frowned at the thought, but that didn’t stop him from getting behind you. Attaching two hands to your waist, he pressed his face to yours, trapping you by the balcony. “I thought you did.”

“Mat, I’m serious. Let me go—” You pushed as hard as you could against him but to no avail. “What is your problem? Just because you’re a prince it means I can’t say no to you?”

He winced at the suggestion and let you go.

“No, it’s just that I thought—I thought maybe you liked me. Just like how I like you.” For someone so bashful, there was such a cutting conviction in his words. You reflected his embarrassment with a hot blush of your own. “... Unless you don’t...?”

His voice trailed off so sadly, hearing it forced you to reveal the truth you’d been trying to hide.

“I do like you.” You exasperated.

“Then, why?” Mathias’s brows furrowed so deeply together, creases formed between them.

“Why what?”

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

You stormed off to establish distance with him. Knowing him, he’d follow you until he’d be all in your face. And that was exactly what he did, marching after you until he could tower himself over you. Letting out a frustrated sigh, you whipped your head to the side to avoid his watery eyes.

“I’m not a princess. Okay? You can’t run off and do this kind of stuff with the maid. It’ll ruin you.” It took every fiber of your being to stop yourself from crying as you choked this out—“It’ll ruin me. I’m sure Vic is planning to kick me out right now.”

“That’s not true!” He blurted, reaching out to hold your wrists. “I’m the prince! Vic has nothing on my word. And plus, it’s not like he has to find out.” Mathias sounded so earnest, you wanted to believe him. Give in to him. But you knew better than to indulge in a meaningless fling that had grave consequences. So you tore yourself away from him.

“No, Mat. I can’t do this with you,” Backing up closer to the front door, you shook your head as he simply walked over again. “Mathias, please.”

“Why are you so afraid?” He held your shoulders and pressed his forehead against yours. Already, having his body and hands on you was like taking a bat for a swing at your resolve. But you persisted, clamping a hand over his mouth before he could kiss you.

He frowned deeply and licked your palm, successfully getting you to pull away. “Mat—”

“Just tell me what you’re so afraid of. I’ll make it go away, I promise. I’ll protect you. You know I will.” Every word he uttered made your lips brush together. His sincerity became too hard to resist, so you forced yourself to stumble out an answer.

“I...” You shook your head with your eyes closed. Already, you subconsciously accepted you couldn’t get away without his mouth on yours. “I think you’re just confused, okay? You haven’t really had a friend for a while. You probably think you like me when you just... Need somebody to talk to.”

Mathias gritted his teeth for a look of betrayal.

“You’re talking to me like I’m just some kinda kid!” He whisper-shouted, flaring his nostrils some. He spoke so frantically, so passionately, it was hard to believe this was the same goofy idiot all these months. “You think I can’t tell the difference? I’m a man, you know. Whenever I’m alone with you, I get...”

He flickered his eyes over you intensely. They were so love-laden, you couldn’t handle it.

So you stared away.

But he wasn’t having any of it. If you weren’t going to look at him, he’d find another way to get your attention. Sealing your mouth with his, he moved his head fervently for a hot, wet kiss.

Your lips met again and again, meshing together perfectly until you couldn’t breathe. He didn’t let you part for air. He was the one who decided the breaks, and even then, your tongues would be sliding together in a selfishly brief gap. It left you gasping, and the oxygen you desperately needed only came through the warmth of his mouth.

He was forcing you to breathe him in.

“... Mathias...” You panted. Before you got another word in, he kissed you again, eliciting soft sounds of sucking and pecking. While he inundated you in the heated exchange, drowning you with the taste of his spit, he snuck a hand up your skirt. “H-Hey!”

“Let’s make love,” Panting out the words into your ear, your chest ached when you realized you were in the endgame. Mathias was so set on doing you, he was already sporting an impressive tent in his pants. Taking out his throbbing cock, he guided your hand to it, then squeezed your fingers around it.

“You perverted dog...” Hearing your airy, frustrated voice sent a hard twitch down his arousal. You felt it. Every jerk, every soft vein. You were about to have your first time with the prince, and the thought was more erotic than it should’ve been.

As much as you wanted to push him away, a part of you also wanted to let everything be. He always had a way of getting your heart racing and aching for him. His long, lustful stares, dazed answers, and absent gaze, it all became clear he’d been thinking of something else entirely whenever he talked to you.

This man was a sex fiend, and you set him off by accepting his invitation to visit this place. High up in the mountains, where nobody could find you two.

The tipping point was when you glared at him. Seeing it made him snap, and had him rearing for a hot fuck session. Hooking his fingers around your underwear, he pulled it down to your knees.

If you were going to be stubborn, he’d strip your layers like your clothes.

Your dress was on the ground next to a pile of his clothes. He pulled you onto his lap to touch you all over, and fondle you like his personal plaything. You were shy, he could tell. You hid your chest by pressing it up to his, but the feeling of your breasts against him riled him up further.

He’d get you to open up tonight.

Giving your waist a hard squeeze, he made you jolt backward in shock. That gave him the perfect opportunity to lean down and smother his face into your breasts. There, he lapped his hot tongue over your nipple before sucking on it.

Hearing your breathy moan made his cock twitch again. You felt it right against the folds of your womanhood, so you couldn’t help looking down. And he was huge. He was at full mast, and pressing every inch of his dick to you so comfortably like it was meant to be there. He was lengthy and girthy to boot, so you couldn’t imagine it going inside you.

Blood rushed up to your face as you uttered this—“You’re not putting that inside me.” You pushed him off you with a soft ‘pop’. He peered up at you expectantly. “That’s... That’s not gonna fit.”

“It will, don’t worry...” Mathias raised his head and dragged his tongue up your neck. “I just have to stretch you. Just trust me, it won’t hurt too bad...”

“And... It smells...!” You whispered, removing your arms from his neck to get off him. But you never succeeded in either of those things, as he merely dove on top of you to hold you down in a missionary position. The stench of his sweat and musk only grew stronger. “I’ll murder you for this later, Mat—”

“Don’t say that... I’ll make you feel good...”

What happened later came in a hot haze. All you knew were his warm, calloused hands touching and grabbing at every inch of your body, the taste of his mouth, and how deep his thick cock was inside you. While he closed his eyes from how hot and tight you were, yours were wide open in pain.

It hurt so bad, you had to scratch his back up for stretching you beyond what you could handle.

“You liar... It hurts...!” You dug your fingernails into his skin as hard as you could. But that wasn’t enough to get back at him, so you ended up biting his neck. He responded in the worst way possible—Mathias rolled his eyes back and moaned, feeling himself get bigger and harder inside you.

“Ah... Keep biting me, kæreste... Go ahead and make me bleed...” He breathed into your neck.

Unfortunately for you, he loved it when you got feisty. Your anger turned him on more than you would’ve liked. Soon, he found himself thrusting harder into the spot between your legs.

Spreading them with two hands, he rolled his hips furiously into them. The bed squeaked faster. But you could barely hear them with his moans in your ear. He penetrated you, again and again, and all you could do was scratch up his broad, muscular back.

“Fuck you, Mat... Fuck you....” Sex with him was borderline painful, but it hurt so good. It was frustrating to know he had you wanting him so easily, so you began pulling on his hair.

“You... Son of a bitch...”

He was so turned on, it hurt. The only remedy was to go even harder, so he did—letting out a low groan into your neck, he curved his dick deeper inside you than ever before. You were his medicine, and he wanted to take advantage of that to get the comfort you always gave him.

“Ah—” You threw your head back as a sharp pain shot through your abdomen. Mathias was always doing what he wanted, with or without your say. He may have been royalty, but here in the bedroom, he was meant to be your equal. 

But it never felt that way as he pinned you down with his weight and pounded you in, slapping his balls against you with every hard slam. 

He even found it in himself to hold your neck with both hands. To choke you gently as he slowly reached his zenith, then came deep inside you.

“Mat—” Your plea for him to pull out was cut short by his continuous thrusts. As he stuffed you with his hot, frothy load, you could only pant for air. You couldn’t even close your legs to stop it from happening, as he’d made himself comfortable between them. “Ah—you can’t...”

He was being so reckless, so selfish, and what went through his lust-stricken mind was this—if he did this, he could get you to stay. He was twisted with perversion, evident in how he panted like a dog as he rode out his orgasm, uncaring of the consequences.

His semen splattered out and pooled on the mattress. You were too lightheaded to see the mess he was making. With your mouth wide open, he’d loom his head over yours and spit generously into it. He never let you off without swallowing every last drop of it.

“Ew...” Forcing it down your throat with a gag, he smiled floatily when he heard you gulp.

The night was young, and he’d only just started.

He fucked you into the mattress for hours. Drowning himself in the moans that poured out of your mouth like a faucet, he showed a floaty smile as he overwhelmed you with pleasure. He’d shatter your mind until he was the only thing you could ever think about ever again. Breathing slowly as he slid himself in and out of your tight, wet, tunnel, he screwed you silly until your legs were shaking.

Mathias was a huge guy, and a freakishly strong one at that, so he had no trouble holding you in all sorts of positions to make love to you—from the back, against the wall, in front of the mirror, even on the balcony. No matter how he decided to enter you, some things remained constant. 

He held you up against the wall with one hand, while the other squeezed and fondled your breasts. Your skin was so soft and inviting under his calloused hand, he could never get enough of it. But the inside was a temptation he couldn’t resist.

“You’re sucking me in so well...” Mathias moaned, feeling your lips pepper him with kisses. Somewhere along the line, you gave in to him, driven by the carnal desire to make love with him. He couldn’t be happier. He wanted to make you feel good, and he’d start by thrusting upwards into you at a furious pace.

Catching you in a steamy gaze, he fanned his hot, labored breath over your mouth as he came inside your womb. You threw your head back in ecstasy as he kept rolling his hips, stimulating your clit from the inside, which was now sopping with cum.

He kept shooting jets of semen into your core, and by the time he stopped, you’d reached an intense orgasm. Pressing a hard kiss to your cheek, he carried you back to bed as the exhaustion began to catch up to him. When he collapsed, he never bothered to pull out—he fell asleep inside you.

He got what he wanted, having claimed you with his seed painted all over and inside your body. It was safe to say that you smelled more like him than he did himself.

Mathias couldn’t be more satisfied with these developments. He finally went all the way with you, and knew damn well what this meant. He had to protect you like your life was his own. Not that he needed that incentive in the first place.

Everything hit you the morning after.

You just made love with the prince, and if that wasn’t bad enough, it was all unprotected. Sitting up after the deepest sleep you’ve had in a while, you lingered your panicked gaze on him for a few moments before stumbling out of bed. Immediately, you felt something warm trail down your legs. He really pushed the envelope last night, and you were left to deal with the consequences.

After a quick bath, you got dressed in the fastest, most discrete way possible. The frantic shuffling and rustling of fabric filled the bedroom, followed by your footsteps against the wooden floorboards. With one last strained look at the lump under the covers, then the foot hanging off the frame, you left the cabin.

The first thing you did upon arriving back at the castle was finding Ida. She was the closest thing you had to a mother in this palace, and she did exactly what a mother would—she held you close and told you everything would be okay. Then, she brewed up a last-minute contraception for you to drink.

You were skeptical it would do anything, but it was worth a shot.

Once you downed the last of the hot liquid, bile rose in your throat for the beginnings of a long-needed cry. While you choked back sobs, she rubbed soothing circles in your back and watched you intently.

“You’ll be alright. Just do as I say, skat.” She spoke gently. Her voice was barely coherent under the sounds of your sniffling. “In two weeks, you’ll have to pack your things and go to the stables. Mathias has tea with the visiting princesses that afternoon, so—” Your brows came together for a face of pain. It was already hard to not cry, but hearing that was the tipping point. Your heart was completely shattered.

Launching yourself into her arms, she hugged you tight and closed her eyes.

“—my sweet angel. Come here.” Rocking you back and forth, she rubbed your hair comfortingly before continuing. “He loves you, I can tell. But this can’t go on. He’s the prince, and you’re the most valuable treasure this Earth has ever known. You have a life ahead of you, skat. Live it. He only has a tedious future ahead of him.”

While she spoke, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her you wanted to be with him. Because no matter how tedious, boring, and serious his duties were, you just knew he had a way of making it exciting. And Mathias? He may as well be the person you held closest to your heart.

However, like Ida mentioned, it was a naïve fantasy ought to be stamped out. Surely, Mathias would come to his senses and agree.

“That afternoon at four, he’ll be too occupied to look for you. When that time comes, you go to the stables and ride out as fast as the wind can carry you.” The woman instructed, untying the purple ribbon that held up her graying brown hair. Tying that around your wrist, she pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “The horses will know you, so they won’t make a fuss. They’ll come back after dropping you off at my house.”

Quitting a job at the palace isn’t hard, skat. Her words replayed in your mind as you scurried to the horses outside. But getting away from the prince? Very. When he sets his eyes on something, he latches onto it and never lets go. Tightening the flaps of your cloak, you climbed onto the back of your absolute favorite—Destiny. A lively brown Jutland you’ve recently befriended.

She neighed and chuffed, then paced around to find the exit. With a mighty kick, she galloped off with you. Then, you rode off without looking back.

And he’s crazy about you. Can’t imagine why.

Mathias awakened an hour after you left the cabin. Immediately, he flipped the place upside down to look for you. Every minute that passed where he couldn’t find you, the tighter his chest became. Where had you gone? Had you returned to the palace already? A sick churning in his stomach began. If you did, why didn’t you tell him?

Fortunately, you were still around. Just not in the way you used to be. Ever since that night at his cabin, you’ve been ignoring him. And it made him miserable. You’ve gone from a friend to a stranger.

To the indifferent servant you were meant to be.

He tried everything he could to get you to talk to him, then open up to him again, but all you did was excuse yourself curtly before he could show you those watery eyes you couldn’t resist. Mathias even tried cornering you, but you weren’t above pushing him away, or kicking him where the sun didn’t shine.

Two weeks went by giving him the cold shoulder. But it never shook his resolve.

On the morning of his most dreaded day, he asked Ida where you were. You were too busy with your cleaning duties. He’d heard that one before.

It did beg the question, however, as to just how bad was the kitchen explosion that they needed the assistance of the prince’s maid? He didn’t have time to think about it. Today was the day he’d been dreading, and Victor couldn’t stop hounding him at lunch to bring his best manners.

But most importantly, to make a decision.

He already did, he just needed to scrape together the courage to announce it. Fortunately, the tedious intricacies of refined conversations about nothing in particular did its job as the pep talk he needed. He couldn’t marry any of these women, let alone like them at all. While he studied them, he found himself comparing each and every one of them to you.

They never came half as close to touching where you were.

After forcing a polite smile to see them off, he ambled into the kitchen for a well-deserved drink. While he sipped from his glass, he studied the speckless, polished tiles. Then, he wondered to himself where the explosion could’ve taken place, especially one that was so huge that it apparently engulfed the ceiling.

That was when his advisor sauntered in.

“Charming ladies, all of them. I’m sure the decision will be quite difficult. Any contenders?” Victor waggled his eyebrows for a suggestive grin. “Well, I personally really like the one from—”

“I guess I have a dark horse in the running.”

The other blinked. “Oh, you do?”

Mathias downed everything in his glass. Then, he caught the other in a serious stare. Whenever he wore such an unreadable face like this, something completely unexpected was bound to slip from the prince’s mouth. Victor just hoped he wouldn’t say Lady Ingrid.

“Was there a huge clean-up in the kitchen a few hours ago?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I heard a huge explosion happened here. Did it get cleaned up already?” The Dane mused, setting his cup down so he could fold his arms together.

Already, he had a sneaking suspicion he’d been played like a fiddle. This assumption was proven to be correct as the older man shot him a look of confusion. “Whatever do you mean, an explosion? There will never be explosions in the castle so long as I’m around.” Victor scoffed amusingly.

Mathias’s nostrils flared. Ida lied to him. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as he scrambled off without another word. Hooking his hand on the door frame, he booked it out of the kitchen and sprinted down the crimson red halls. Victor chased after him for a few strained jogs—“and your dark horse, my prince? Who is it?” He called out breathlessly.

With a brief look over his shoulder, he shouted back.

“My maid!”

“Your what?”

Carrying with him nothing but a small velvet box, he flung himself onto the back of his horse. Smoke, a black stallion he had shipped all the way from the Middle East. The creature jumped up on its hind legs for a loud neigh—“C’mon, Smokey. Don’t let me down!” It trotted around the hay-strewn dirt before the prince whipped the reins. “Hya!”

Racing through the streets in nothing but a blur, he stopped everywhere to ask around for his missing person—a young girl on a palace horse.

His exhaustive efforts proved fruitless as hours went by. You were gone, and if he wasn’t fast enough, you could be gone forever. Just where could you be? There was only one place he hadn’t checked, but he highly doubted you were there. It couldn’t be that easy, could it? Either way, he wasn’t giving up.

Galloping into a familiar neighborhood, he was welcomed warmly by familiar faces to match. There on the side of the street, stood a middle-aged man with spectacles.

“Is that you, Mathias?” It was the royal doctor, and he’d just gone home after a long work day. The prince couldn’t explain it, but he couldn’t be happier seeing him out of all people. “My, if you ride out that recklessly, you’ll hurt yourself again!”

“Sorry, Noah. I’m in a hurry.” He panted, his horse trotting back a few steps.

“A hurry? Where are you going?”

“Wherever she is. I don’t know. I’m trying to find her.”

Noah raised his head thoughtfully. His eyes gleamed when it finally occurred to him.

“You’re looking for the maid.”

Mathias was more taken aback than anything. Since when did his doctor become that attuned to his emotional troubles? “How did you know?”

“Everything Ida knows, I know.” The other replied, tipping his hat. “Don’t worry. She’s not far. Although I have to say, she may not be happy to see you.”

He breathed out a nervous huff.

“We’ll see about that.”

Arriving into the front yard of a house, he hopped off his horse and rubbed its face. He approached the front door and knocked anxiously. He was light-headed from hunger, and the anxiety exacerbated that into nausea. But the only thing on his mind was seeing you again. Reaching for his back pocket, he pulled out the box again and waited.

The strong gallops outside immediately alerted you of your visitor. It was Mathias, no doubt.

What were you thinking, hiding at Ida’s like it wasn’t the first place he’d check? There was something in the air, for a while now, too, and it wasn’t common sense. It had been there ever since you’d grown close to the prince. It was like smoke that dulled your senses and blurred mirrors, burned from the impetuous fire of youth itself.

In your defense, it affected him more than it did you.

He knocked on the door a few times.

You didn’t answer.

He knocked again. While you responded with the silent treatment, he walked over to the window and knocked on that. “I know you’re in there, (F/N). Come out so we can talk.” Mathias called, falling quiet to listen out for an answer. “Noah said you’d be here.”

Bringing your knees into your chest, you sucked in a sharp breath before finally breaking your silence.

“Go away!”

As faint as your voice was, he heard you loud and clear. Didn’t mean he’d listen to you, though. With a deep frown, he made his way to the front door. While he studied the details of it, like how he could knock it off its hinges in one go, he said this—

“You should know by now how stubborn I am. I’m not doing that until I see you.”

Taking a few steps back, he barreled right into the door like an ox and knocked it down. “Gh—”

“Mat, what the hell! You’re paying for that!” You exclaimed, scrambling off the couch to examine the mess he’d made in the living room. When you pinned him as tenacious, you’d been too correct. He really had no idea to take no for an answer. He paid no mind to the earful you were giving him, and instead, bent down on one knee.

“You are honestly, the single-most stupidest man alive. I feel sorry for the future of this kingdom. You’ll run it down to the ground.” You rambled, giving your head a hard shake. While you spoke, you felt a familiar heat rush up to your face again.

How was it that every time you thought about him, he always managed to have this much emotional leverage over you? You hated that two weeks was all it took for you to miss him. And yet, you were talking about plans of getting away.

“But that’s fine because I’m getting out of here. I’ll move far far away where you won’t find me.”

Mathias held out the box and opened it, revealing a brilliant silver ring inside.

You’d been so distracted tearing him a new one, you never realized the scene that unfolded. When you finally processed what he was doing, the first few tears fell down to your chin. This man was impossible. “If you want an answer, it’s no. It’s always gonna be no. Okay? No.”

“Would you at least think about it?”

“I already did! No. What’s so hard to understand about a two-letter word?” No matter what you told him, his will was unshakeable. It showed in his serious, unreadable, expression, and if you’d known how dangerous a sign that was the first time you saw it, you would’ve learned to avoid him. Taking your hand, he slid on the ring without your permission.

Shocked by his audacity, you swatted at him, throwing the ring off as a result.

Letting out a gasp, you whipped your head to where you tossed it. But in your moment of distraction, he lifted you off your feet—“just come back to the castle with me, kæreste. I miss you.” Mathias pleaded, holding you high enough so that you needed to hold his face to stabilize yourself.

Hearing his sincerity, then feeling his hands on you was all it took to reduce your resolve to a crumpled heap on the floor.

“Why won’t you just think with your head for once?” Catching his fervent kisses, you’d lean down and let him occupy your mouth furiously—“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“You know I can’t.” He showed another floaty smile, but this one was more bittersweet than anything. “I’ll follow you forever if I have to.”

He swept you away, yet again.

You returned to the castle as his maid, continuing your precarious relationship with him. Victor was eventually fired and replaced by Noah’s brother. Ida couldn’t be happier with that decision. And the prince? He never brought up the ring again.

Instead, he’d watch you in the halls, behind the doors, holding it in his palm to wait for the right moment. It might’ve been a lot to ask for from a tenacious man like him, but for months, years, it was the one thing he was willing to be patient for.

‘ THIS AIN’T FICTION, BABY! (it is kinda..) ★

☆ sum. jjk men finding out you write jaw dropping smut. boo you whore. can you even do half the things you write about? well . .

warnings. fem! reader, feat. gojo, geto, nanami, choso, toji, sukuna, breaking the forth wall kekw, smut writer reader, unprotected, dirty talk, praise, squırting, manhandling, cuńnilingus, whiny men, cockwarming, daddy kink, overstim, spıt, impact play, breaking the bed, bréeding, size kinks.

GOJO ☆

“oooooh,” a husky low voice coos right next to your ear. hot breath ghosts against the tiny hairs that stand tall near the back of your neck. you bit your lip whilst you’re in the midst of being stuffed full of cock. just plain evil . . satoru’s got you cockwarming him while a fat thumb of his skims down your phone. “let’s see. gojo smut, gojo satoru x reader, hey that’s me, heh,” and he pauses, a snowy brow raising up in daze once he sees your user displayed in bold near the very top of the search bar. “cockwarming gojo, how fitting, angel.”

“toru, fuck,” you whine, making a cute attempt at trying to snatch your phone away. weakly pawing at his wrist, he holds it up even higher. you gasp, feeling his swollen tip swivel its way deeper inside your cunt. “don’t read it,” you fall back into his chest, moaning once he starts to purposely bounce his thigh. embarrassment had you hot, you could practically feel your heartbeat accelerating by the minute. “ ‘s embarrassing.”

satoru squints, resuming to scroll down the glowing screen before a free hand of his trails toward your pussy. he hums, “aw, pretty girl’s got a hobby i didn’t even know of, hm. here, you say ‘he’s got you right on his lap, suppressing a moan with your teeth dug into the bottom of your lip as you’re taking him fully. .’ such nasty literature,” and the edges of your nails pierce into his pants leg. the half on long black slacks that satoru wore were merely all ruffled and ragged thanks to your pretty fingernails tugging at it with all its might. as he continues to read, you’re whining, desperate to move, desperate for at least some kind of friction. as you’re squirming on his lap, satoru’s eye then twitches. “ ‘gojo satoru also would whine in bed?’ this has to be a typo. .”

and of course, his ego gets bruised.

the pout on satoru’s face was adorable. as you’re trying to sturdy your hips, he buries his face into your chest. “mmph,” he’s shoved right between the softness of your tits, his personal happy place.

although—he had to admit, he was flattered that you wrote such lewd compositions about him. you moan as you’re grinding against him, feeling his achy cock slam into you deep within each wet bounce. satoru makes a mess as he’s buried between your plush mounds, remnants of stringy saliva dribbling down the valley of your chest. pretty, his white lashes flutter as you’re quickening your hip movements and he gasps. “oh, f- fuck, angel. ‘s no fair when you ride me like thaaat.”

and you can’t help but giggle—despite your cock drunken state, he’s still got that little glower of a pout on his lips as you’re rutting into him.

satoru’s clenched abs flex more the second you run a finger down the sharp outline of his pecs, watching him immediately fold at your touch. “but you always whine, ‘toru,” you argue in a shivering voice, your cunt tightly squeezing around his length. his wide girth makes your mouth water, such thickness was just insane. you bury your unstable knees into the center of his thighs before his broad big arms wrap around you.

he’s holding you—almost squishing you.

but just like you wrote, satoru whines the second he ends up cumming early. with the way you ride him and the crazed speed of your hips, he never ever lasted long.

it was cute,

he was always confident until he’s buried deep inside your pussy, whining and sobbing pathetic cacophonies of your name at how good you feel clamping around him. it’s merry lukewarm, as he snaps, a puddle of thick syrupy cum shoots into you deep and he’s an entire frantic mess. pants of airy breath slip out of his pink lips as he’s giving you a fill, biting into your neck to hide his slutty whimpers. “god, ‘m gonna die,” he sniffles, squeezing pressure against your bare ass. you hold onto him tight as he’s pouring such slippery wads of seed into you at once—velvety hot amounts spit inside your pussy and you’re matching heavy gasps for air right with him, entirely in sync. “fuck, fuck baby, mommy.”

“what?”

“s- shut up,” he back tracks, and he sees the smug expression growing on your face. satoru lightly smacks a hand over his face before groaning, his cock all milked and flaccid. “i said baby.”

NANAMI ☆

tender mahongy eyes stare deep into your eyes as your fingers happily intertwine with his. tangled and curled, he’s got a soft grip as his body hovers completely over yours.

with ruffled blond strands running down the front of his forehead, nanami brings a kiss toward your cheek as he’s not just fucking you, but making love to you in missionary. “sweetheart, you left your laptop open you know,” and you moan once you feel his plump tip circle its way inside of your gummy inviting walls. already, you’re coating his entire dick with your slimy slick to the hilt. your eyes widen at his words before the left side of your twitching lip is met with another gentle kiss. “i didn’t mean to be nosy, but i saw a little ‘headcanon’ about me, is that what you call it?”

you glance into his eyes with abashed intent as a burning wave of heat sprays over your face. fuck, the pulse of your thumping heart only grew louder as your first response was utter silence.

“i—” you mutter out, and he chuckles at your lack of words, digging his head into your neck. nanami’s scent was strong, it goes through each of your nostrils and you felt yourself throbbing from his touch alone.

his strokes were tender and precise. he’s swaying back and forth as his bare body continues to rut straight into you. pent up muscles of his that were merely perfectly sculptured—identical to the physique of a greek god, you couldn’t help but stare. you just couldn’t help but ogle at how he’s so pretty, how fat tears of sweat race down both sides of his bulky arms. no one could blame you for writing about nanami, although—the things you wrote about him, they were pretty risqué to say the least. with a growing pout, your arms throw over his shoulders as he’s presenting your cunt blissful deep thrusts. “okay, i write about you sometimes, ‘ken. ‘m sorry.”

“sorry for what exactly? being talented, silly girl?” he whispers in a raspy tone.

nanami cups your chin so you could look right at him, naturally leaning into his touch. he focuses on the way your eyes soften and he’s plummeting girthy inches into you raw. your toes curl, running down his back and tickling the scratch marks that paint against his flushed skin. “don’t be sorry,” he adds, pressing a wet kiss near the crook of your neck. “i’m flattered. although, dirty talk isn’t exactly my forte. you know this, my love,” and you moan, feeling the edges of his teeth playfully nibble at your exposed flesh. as pounds of skin resume to smack against each other loudly, nanami slowly lifts up your leg, tossing it over your shoulder. “my favorite part had to be when you said i pulled on your hair ‘n called you a ‘messy whore’ .”

“y- you weren’t supposed to see that,” you nervously grin . . trying to avoid how you were so close to finishing. just a few more thrusts and that was it, you’d be finished, done for. you’ve felt embarrassed before—but never to this extent. he was teasing you, nanami kento was teasing you. and pathetically enough, your pussy twitched as he recited your exact filthy written words. the bed continues to creak and groan as jolting bodies move and move together, amongst each other, and on top of each other.

with kind eyes, nanami watches as you bring both of your hands up to your face, hoping to shield yourself from any more embarrassment.

“oh, honey,” he coos in a melodically low tone. his cock reached so deep that strangled moans flew out from your lips left and right. his tempo was always just right. he never wanted to lose control, but after reading your work, he knew you’d probably like that. crimson damp lips press under your chin before he grunts, preparing himself to be milked dry.

“hngh, don’t hide that pretty face from me,” he huffs, in a soft alluring voice. everything felt abnormally tender, nanami’s softly swerving his body against yours in irregular addictive arcs in such impassioned ardent. the more you stare into your eyes—the more your blown pupils dilate.

once he cup both sides of your face, you lean into his touch. his base was thick, swollen and full. you craved him more than anything, and it’s as if your words were actually coming to life.

“there she is, that’s my girl,” he grits in a raspy voice, prying your hands away from your face. his touch was forevermore gentle. with a soft smile, nanami presses his twitching ruby lips onto yours as you both prepare to cum in euphoric torrent. bedaubing a plump thumb over your bottom quivering lip, he slows his thrusts down a few beats—hearing you vocal pussy’s squelches before a wrinkle of a smile curls against his lips. “now, now. make a mess on your husband’s cock jus how you write them in your little stories, my love.”

GETO ☆

“oh, boo. looks like someone’s innocent all of a sudden when she’s not writing ‘bout dick, hm? wonder why that is,” geto hums, propped right up between your trembly legs. he’s staring at you with a sly smirk that refuses to wipe off his lips. two of his hands spread your thighs apart more before kissing near your slobbering exposed pussy.

with a cunning grin, he gives your drooling folds a few friendly taps as if it was a little mic test. “finish that paragraph. c’mon, wanna make sure ‘m doin’ it right.”

a salty taste of shame fills and salivates inside of your mouth as you watch him with heart shaped pupils. he’s got the most hungry gaze, a bit of spit already dribbling from the thin corners of his lips.

“um, okay,” you moan, picking up your phone again, leisurely dragging a thumb down the neatly typed paragraphs. “it says, ‘you whine, taking s-suguru’s thick fingers happily into your slippery cunt. long digits of his rummage their way inside before curling all around. once suguru spits on your p- pussy, he pats it and calls it a good girl.’ ”

“like this?” geto snickers—copying your exact words, using the flat palm of his hand to rub against your bare clit. you whimper, entirely sensitive as his thick digits toy with your soddened folds. your thighs continue to jostle and shake and he found it so adorable at how you just couldn’t stay still. so cute, he’s got darkened irises focused on you and only you the entire time. these seconds felt like hours, and as he gathers a nice amount of saliva, he spits right on your cunt. just like you wrote it . . you gasp at the sloppy cold saliva cascading down your pussy. the cobwebby strands that pour from his lips had such a pretty glimmer to it. the warm breath of geto that fans against your entrance makes you twitch in elated pleasure.

he’s so sloppy, unapologetically. just like your drabble said—he then pats your cunt with an open palm before leaning right up close, pulling a thumb down your pulsating uvula before licking it passionately. “good fuckin’ girl.”

you whine, your knees practically buckling and he’s just eating your expressions up. “y- yes— like that, fuck,” you move a few long black strands away from his face. geto dips two fingers inside and he stretches you out so easily with his digits. your lips form into a cute ‘o’ shape as you mewl out a desperate cry for more. as he’s watching you succumb into such bliss, he’s got such a pretty face. it makes his dick twitch in his sweats at the thought of you writing about how he goes down on you. the specifics, how sloppy he is, even how he spanks your cunt only to then shamelessly lick the slick mess right up with his tongue.

the thought that probably hundreds of your horny little readers read about this, about him, about his tongue . .

geto’s tongue was ruthless.

he lays it flat against your cunt before fluttering his long black lashes closed. he huskily groans, not even caring that you weren’t reading anymore. as his brows arch into a contorting furrow, he slides in two fat fingers. you whimper at the sudden big yet deliciously enthralling stretch, yanking roughly on his hair. “s . . sugu,” he pulls his slick covered fingers out, licking them clean whilst staring you right in the eyes. you tremor within his hold, feeling his palms tighten its grasp on both of your thighs. you couldn’t lie, this felt a lot better than fiction. so much better . .

he’s making out with your pussy, swirling his tongue around and spelling out all of the letters of his name. creating such a mess, your slick then starts to stream down his chin to which he happily licks it up. groaning, geto then slurps at your drenched hole before giving it yet another kiss. his chin had such luminescent shine to it. you cup his face with shaky hands as he’s eating you out through another orgasm and he jibes.

“mhm, your writing could use a bit more dirty talk though,” he critiques, swiping a thumb against his lips before he spanks your cunt for the umpteenth time.

with your legs sporadically quivering, he playfully bites on your clit, watching you squeal as you’re riding orgasm out on his tongue. “oh, and make sure you add in your little fics that i bite pretty clits too.”

CHOSO ☆

“bottom? w- what’s a bottom?”

choso quirks a brow in cute confusion, slouching back as you’re still getting over your most recent orgasm.

both pounds of sweltering skin melt into each other, sticking together like glue as your hips grow unsteady. choso was reading one of your published works and he can’t help but grow curious. the way you wrote about him, how you portrayed him as whiny and submissive, it does something to him—he personally always thought he was dominant. cute. .

“oh, don’t worry about that, baby,” you timidly utter, trying to conceal an incoming moan once his cock buries its way deep in yet again. he’s nice and snug everyone and it drives him crazy. choso’s got a pout—but it quickly turns into a lewd expression once your sopping pussy swallows him right up again. two jittery hands creep their way onto your rickety hips and he moans once he feels himself already bottoming out. “f- fuck, cho.”

his eyebrows were still all furrowed and he’s got a cute scrunched up expression. “ ‘m not a bottom,” choso grumps, leaning in to sneak a kiss near the corner of your mouth. despite the raspiness lingering underneath his tone—you could hear the incoming whine desperately trying to escape. choso’s black ponytails had cute ribbons in them—by you, and he’s biting his lip at the feeling of your hips starting to grind. “i- i can be dominant too.”

“prove it,” you whisper, a bratty impish glint forming in your eyes. choso scoffs, narrowing his eyes at you but it doesn’t last at all because he’s already pussy drunk to the max.

those two words. . those two words was all it took for him to manhandle you like a rag doll, politely and respectfully tossing you into the springy soft mattress.

it bounces from the abrupt weight crashing down and you gasp once choso backs up his words, and oh, he’s fucking you stupid. you let off a gargled three second moan once choso spanks your ass, using one hand to repeatedly drag you back into his chiseled hips. sharp thrusts plow into you with such speed that you’re left with a dumbfounded expression. your eyes were rolling back and your tongue was lolled out as choso was fucking you in doggy.

as much as you write about him, he doesn’t like doggy, mainly because he can’t see your pretty face. it kills him—but he can’t deny that the view of you like this was so pretty, so enticing. your buckling knees lock as you’re cupping a hand over your mouth, eyes practically bulging out of their sockets.

choso’s cock was so weighty and thick that it’s got a lazy curve, a mean curve that makes itself known in every part of your insides. he’s no stranger to your body, he knows the exact layout. such stamina—you didn’t expect him to be so feral, it’s as if he was an entire different person. “fuck, fuuuck,” he throws his head back, giving your ass more and more hard spanks. the recoil was his favorite. it was just the way your pretty shaped ass would bounce back onto him. he’s in love with love, in love with your pussy, in love with you. “ngh, gotta show you ‘m not a bottom, baby.”

“c- choso,” you whimper, and his fat base swings against your ass, almost shocking you from the electric friction. you’re drooling—he’s got you stupid as your swollen chaste clit bumps up against his pelvis every single time. the bed hollers out a plethora of cries as he’s jerking more and more into you. your cunt’s drooling dewy slick all down the undersides of your thighs. you even make an attempt at trying to touch yourself. with slickness though, choso snatches your wrist away.

“no baby. ‘s my pussy,” he grumbles, pinning an arm behind your back. you’re babbling—squatting forward as he’s feeding your needy pussy with such inches. choso hisses at the brief twinges of pleasure all due to your sloppy grip. you’re brutal, wetting up his base with your dewy slick. he can’t help but stare and gawk at the way your ass presses up against him. choso’s bottom lip quivers at how good it feels and how good you feel. no matter how much of a front he puts up, he’s gonna whine. “f- fuck. teasin’ me with your hips, baby. so mean.”

yet as he’s dragging you back and forth, watching as your chest heaving and your thighs try to clamp inward—you abruptly cum, gushing all over choso’s cock. he huffs at how sudden it was, and he knew you didn’t expect it in the slightest. so pretty, your final orgasmic cries sounded like a sweet candied harmony and he could feel your quavering body breaking down with his shaft still shoved deeply inside. your mess soaks up the entirety of the dark sheet, now being drenched in a damp grey color. “fuck, fuck,” you whimper, shaking as your head slumps into the pillow. choso whines at your own pleasure, and he doesn’t even care if he doesn’t finish. he pulls out, crawling toward you before burying his face into the nook of your neck. “c- choso, oh my g- god.”

as your flimsy arms hold him close, accepting his embrace, he goes back to his clingy needy self again, speaking in a shivering soft voice. “h- have you ever wrote about squirting yet?”

with droopy eye lids, you were longing for a kiss. as if he read your mind, he leans in—planting a sultry balmy kiss right onto your lips. “no,” you mumble, moving a few strands out of his face.

choso licks near your neck, one of his hands sprawling your sticky legs apart and he brushes a finger against your slick wet cunt. “w- well, you can always write about that,” and you gasp once he lifts your leg up, easily tossing it over his shoulder. with pleading eyes, choso sighs. “but, can we do that again, baby? i- i think i like when you squirt on me.”

SUKUNA ☆

“breeding kink, interesting,” the demon gruffs, hearing you whine after he swipes his phone from your hand, wondering what in the actual hell could be so important.

he’s reading a strange explicit story of himself that’s apparently called a ‘one shot,’ according to you. how stupid, he thinks. sukuna’s irked vermillion-shot eyes skim through the many paragraphs of filth before he spanks your ass, making you keep your most recent arch.

“ah, seems like y’r even more nasty than i thought,” and your breath hitches once he circles a palm over your stinging rear cheek— an attempt at soothing the sudden pang. hearing your cute muffled whimpers, he mocks your noises. “aw, if you wanted me to ‘breed’ you princess, you could have just asked.”

“ ‘kuna, ‘s embarrassing,” you moan, gasping once he smears his leaky tip against your entrance. he was right - you could’ve ask, you could have asked him to do all the little dirty things you wrote about, you could have . .

swallowing the invisible lump that resides at the roof of your mouth, you imagine yourself being stuffed full of sukuna’s cum. so much to where he ends up getting you all swollen—you’d be nothing but sitting pretty with a cute plump tummy, wads and wads of glossy runny cum just slickly dribbling down the sides of your ass and thighs.

“write like a slut ‘n you even act like one too,” he hums, using a thumb to slide down your pussy. sukuna’s staring openly at how you’re already so soaked, so drenched and he looks like he’s ready to feast. your puffy folds glisten with your own arousal and it’s so so cute. “wonder if you write while havin’ a pussy this sloppy too,” and he smacks it raw, feeling your entire body jolt from the sudden impact. you fall into the soft padded mattress and he darkly chuckles at your weakly spot-on reaction time, aligning himself. “poor baby. spendin’ all this time writing when you could’ve been getting . . ah, what’s the word? oh, right. bred, heh.”

and sukuna does more than just breed you—he quite literally overflows your cunt. he’s a demon, and demons cum a lot.

you’re an entire puddled mess that was filled to the brim.

the sheets were all damp and stained and you’re glistening with droplets of perspiration—radiating from his heat entirely. “s- sukuna, fuck,” you weep out his name, hearing the sloppy spurts of cum still dribbling out of you. such a mess, your mouth waters as you realize just how full you are. you always wrote about this sort of thing but never knew that your silly fiction could turn into mere reality. both of your thighs stick together as you’re left trembling with an arch in your back. he’s cackling at your state, watching as globs of creamy ropes leak out of your slobbering pussy.

“how cute, jus might mess around ‘n get you pregnant, yeah,” the demon jibes, a sharp fang poking underneath his bottom lip. you’re haplessly quivering. your panties that were lazily dragged to the side were all torn and ripped, coated in a ivory white color also. as you’re trying to collect breaths—you then let off a moan once he presses himself deep against you.

your womb was completely flooded, you’re drowning with his stringy cum and with his hot burly body right up against you, you feel him right there. you couldn’t miss it, he’s so long and thick that he’s practically tickling your goopy insides. sukuna wraps a hand around your throat whilst another hand sneaks toward your pussy. “bet you’d like that, fuckin’ freak,” and he’s smearing circles against your folds. you twitch at his cursed hand, his cock still tucked inside of you before he laughs against your ear. “you want a baby, huh. wanna carry my demon babies, don’t ya princess?”

you nod and he lets off a snicker of amusement. “keh. bet you do,” and his voice lowly pitches. you moan, feeling him pull out of your dripping cunt, plugging his spilling cum back in with a single thumb. “fuck, better write about this too, princess. let all your pathetic readers know how much of a sloppy pussy their favorite author has,” and you gasp once he quickly flips you over. sukuna suddenly dives head first between your legs, lapping his flick tongue against your folds. “mmph, now watch me clean you up,” and he spits on your pussy only to then look at it with disgust. “messy girl.”

TOJI ☆

“nuh uh, get the fuck back here babygirl,” he grabs you by the hip, and you let off a moan once his fingers trail up your skirt. a wavering crinkle prods near the edge of his left twitching eye as he’s processing such raunchy words about him. a dry chortle leaves from toji’s mouth as he makes you lie on your tummy, multitasking by slapping his swollen cockhead on your dribbling folds. “ya always told me you were a writer but i didn’t think you write ‘bout this,” he purrs, and your toes curl once he’s aligning himself against your slick heat. but fuck was your cunt just was drooling for him. both folds were weeping for him to just go in already, and yet here he was - teasing you. “really? what’s with the whole ‘toji daddy kink’ thing? i look like the kinda guy that’s into that?”

you feel embarrassment creep up your shoulder. he was reading that part, the part where reader calls him ‘daddy.’

sheepishly trying to crawl away from his grasp, you swallow ignominy. “ ‘s not real, i just made it up toji,” you try to explain through gritted teeth. but as he’s reeling you back into his keen structed hips, you lewdly mewl. he’s just so fucking big, happily massaging your walls freely with just a few inches. your mouth widens as you hear him lowly snickering in the background. a snickering laugh that never failed to make your pussy throb.

toji grabs at the fat of your ass, stubby fingertips poking through your skin. with a mean spank, it’s a non-verbal sign for you to stay still. “y’er a fuckin’ slut with your writing, baby. i bet ya haven’t even tried these kinks,” he teases, and you moan again once his cock delves deeper into your walls. with such ease, you back raises up into an even sluttier arch. “hm, lets see if y’er as nasty as you write,” and you hear him grunt briefly, one of his hands gently wrapping around your neck. toji gets right up close to your ear, flicking his tongue against your soft earlobe. “go on, say it.”

“s- say what?” you squeak, but you knew exactly what he wanted. never in a million years would you have thought toji would discover your little erotic hobby. by now, he’s balls deep—you whine, feeling yet another sharp swat smack against your left ass cheek at the lack of response. you’re chewing on the inside of your cheek in guilt before you hear toji smack his lips in sheer vex.

“c’mon, don’t get shy on me now,” he murmurs in a hoarse tone, salacious timbre pouring on his entire voice. toji feels your pussy dripping around him and he hums, giving you just one single tease of a thrust. your body jerks forward and you whimper sweetly. he’s so close up to you, hard washboard abs of his that were proudly flexing grinds against your back. he’s pressing his muscular weight onto you, careful not to crush you but just enough to. inching his lips back toward your ear, he kisses near your neck. “call me daddy. jus like how you write me, little girl.”

as you’re feeling a few throbbing pangs between your thighs, you shiver underneath him. burying your head in shame between your arms, you whine. “ngh, daddy,” and a weird feeling pools around the insides of your stomach. butterflies and a mixture of flutters swarm inside of you and you moan. once those words slip past your lips so prettily, toji raspily groans. he pistons his hips before not even seconds later, he’s fucking you stupid. babbles of babbles leave from you, and you’re acting just like the main character you write for. ironic, you’re clinging onto the silky cream-colored sheets, bawling up the thinly-made fabric with your clammy fists before squealing. “fuck, daddy ‘m not gonna last.”

“should hear how stupid you fuckin’ sound, baby,” he growls, merciless hips snapping into you at full throttle. you were gonna break, you just knew it. toji’s thrusts were so powerful that you’re left squeaking out pathetic whimpers—his cock stretching you out as if you were elastic. “fuck,” he runs a hand through his messy dark tresses. his shaggy strands were unkempt, overgrown a bit and running down his eyes. he’s got to cock his head up a bit just to see your pretty face and your even prettier ass. “c’monnn, do that cute arch you describe in y’r slutty fics.”

“t- tojiii,” you whimper, the weight of the bed dipping after each continuous stroke. he’s thorough. toji’s maddened fat tip has your legs becoming more and more unstable before he smacks your ass. the powerful hit against your rear rings through each of your ears—and you pout, gnawing on your lip, knowing he wants you to correct yourself. “ngh, i- i mean daddy. ‘m gonna cum, fuck.”

but right when you’re about to finish, you’re interrupted by the ear-splitting sound of wood. you’re moaning—feeling your pussy continue to squeeze around his throbbing length that’s coated with veins all the way down to the tan swollen base. it’s loud, you gasp once the weight of the springy bed suddenly drops and you both collapse—toji falling on top of you. he doesn’t even say anything, and he pulls you up to continue fucking you but you let off a whiny whimper. “you just broke my b-bed.”

“yeah, so.”

“so..? you’re gonna have to buy me a new one.”

“right. about that . .”

Artist: yamada_souko on twt

The loml ☺️☺️

someone else lights up the room

paring: eren jeager x reader

summary: it’s mid-september and eren’s falling in love for the first time in his whole life. too bad for mikasa, it isn’t with her, but with you.

genre: fluff, smut, slight angst (just in case)

notes: well pals! here she is!! my long, long awaited re-write for this series. a lot of this will seem familiar to those who read this part when i first posted this series, but there is some new stuff we haven’t read yet as well! after this part, almost everything we see will be new to all of us. i am very happy to get this out and to hear everyone’s thoughts on the re-write. reblogs and comments are much, much appreciated. please give me any and all feedback you may have. i know i put it off, and missed lots of deadlines i promised you guys, but i have put my whole heart into her. i am very excited to get this whole series out and completed to you guys, which will all be posted (hopefully) before the end of august.  title credits; nothing new; taylor swift ft. phoebe bridgers

warnings: MINORS DNI, angst, fluff, meet cute, eren is a hopeless romantic, eren is a gentleman, eren is a sweet boy, eren falls in love with reader basically at first sight and has been smitten with her ever since, reader recently got out of a toxic relationship and is still healing- but is also very smitten with eren, unrequited love (mikasa), mentions of creampie, jealousy, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving)

word count: 8k

series masterlist next

Eren spots you from across the courtyard walking with your little blonde friend after his final class for the day. It makes him stop and completely tune out whatever Mikasa is trying to talk to him about regarding their upcoming applications for medical school that are due in a few weeks.

You’ve got on a little light blue floral dress that shows off your legs and collar bones beautifully, and paired with some strappy white sandals that show off the pretty polish on your toenails.

It makes him wonder if your skin is as soft as it looks from this distance. He bets it is, and he bets you smell really good, too.

Your friend says something that makes you laugh, the sound bringing a half grin on Eren’s own face as his heart stutters in his chest.

Mikasa looks up to see if he’s paying attention, quickly taking notice of the gleam in his eyes and half smile beginning to take up his face. It almost makes her smile before she realizes he isn’t even paying attention to her.

Her gaze follows the direction of his, quickly noticing you walking in their direction with your friend’s arm linked through yours.

She quickly frowns, being unfortunately reminded of the deep infatuation that Eren has with you that began during last spring’s semester. Honestly, the first time he talked about you, she thought you were an idiot, being the only junior in a freshman level chemistry class and barely passing. She often wondered if Eren tweaked your grades on the papers and exams he graded as Professor Hange’s TA, not that she would ever admit that to him.

Annie had been the one to inform him that you had a boyfriend, and had been with said boyfriend since high school, her knowing from not only going to high school with you and your friends but having been in the same friend group before she broke up with Bertholdt. Apparently her friendship wasn’t as valued to you guys as his was and she made her quick exit and found herself in their little friend group now, thanks to her and Armin’s relationship, if you could even call it that currently.

Discovering your relationship didn’t quell Eren’s interest a bit, and he asked Annie to tell him everything she knew about you, which was actually quite a bit despite not being very close to you.

Annie met you through your, now ex, boyfriend Porco Galliard. You were a cheerleader and top of your class at Marley Prep and you have stupid rich parents who fund your whole lifestyle and want you to be the happiest you can be.

In Mikasa’s mind, you just really aren’t the type of person she think Eren would be happy with. Sure, his family is well off, but your parents, from what she knows, are on a whole different level, and you seem shallow.

She ends up so lost in thought she doesn’t even hear Armin walk up and start a conversation with them, going off about some party that Annie said she was going to tonight and hinted that she’d like to see him there if he was available.

“Armin, not that I mind going with you, but I’m not sure why you need me to go with you?” Eren spoke with slight confusion.

Armin looks between Eren and Mikasa, “I’ll just feel better if the two of you are there with me,”

Eren’s gaze turns soft when he notices how tense Armin is, how nervous he actually is at the thought of joining Annie at this party. Mikasa speaks up before Eren can respond, “We have a really, really important lab tomorrow, but as long as we aren’t out too late we can come.”

It almost upsets Eren at how definitive her answer is, how she’s decided for them that they need to be home at a certain time, that he needs to be home at a certain time. He isn’t a child, and he’s getting tired of all the coddling he gets between Mikasa and his mother.

“Lab isn’t until 9 anyway, so we don’t have to be home that early anyway.”

Armin throws his arms around his two best friends, mumbling quick thank you’s and you guys are the best.

εїз

Eren doesn’t exactly hate parties, but he didn’t particularly want to be here tonight. He’s under a lot of stress with his applications for early acceptance to his top medical school choices being due soon and his mom has been on his ass about coming to visit, which he typically doesn’t mind doing but before returning to campus for this last year at university, he and his dad got into a huge fight over where he’d be going to school and residencies and all the bullshit he didn’t want to deal with, especially since he still hasn’t told his dad that he doesn’t know if he plans on going to medical school.

But there isn’t a thing in the world he wouldn’t do for Armin, and if Armin needs him here for moral support, then he’s here.

Grabbing a cup and putting who knows what is in it, he turns around to make his way back to the living room to find his friends when he stumbles into another body. Reaching for your wrist, nearly dropping his cup in the process, he helps steady your body as his eyes widen slightly realizing just who it is he just ran into.

You’re slightly more intoxicated than you’d typically like to be, but after spending the afternoon watching your phone blow up with text after text from Porco before you finally had to buckle down and block him, again, over some of the hateful things he had sent you, all you wanted to do was drink and forget about the stupid break up, which paired perfectly with the fact that Hitch had wanted to come to this party and stalk Marlo.

Eren’s eyes trail up your figure, taking in all of you. Tonight you’re wearing dark wash jeans that compliment you in all the right places, light rips line the area of your thighs. The denim comes up and rests perfectly on your hips, while the light pink top you have on hugs your chest in a way that Eren knows if he looks for too long, his own jeans will start to get tight, with the amount of cleavage your showing on top of the way it clings to you.

Your own eyes look over him, taking in his pairing of dark wash jeans and a plain black shirt that clings to his muscles just right. He’s got nice hair too, you note to yourself, and it’s thrown into a sexy messy bun. You can’t help but wonder if it’s as soft as it looks.

The two of you make eye contact and it feels like his eyes are trying to find your soul with how deeply he’s looking at you.

Your staring is interrupted by Hitch, who stumbles in and grabs your free wrist with a giddy look in her eyes, “You won’t believe who just got here,” And just like that, you’re pulled away from him and into the crowd of people.

Hitch drags you over to your other two friends. Historia is sitting on Ymir’s lap as the latter is whispering, what you can only assume, dirty words in her ear. The way Historia is fidgeting in her girlfriend’s lap with her lip between her teeth makes you fairly sure that the two won’t be here for much longer.

You look at Hitch with a raised eyebrow and tilt your head back to the two of them in question. “Reiner is here.” Distaste fills your features at the mention of the blond brute as you hum before taking Historia’s cup from her and drinking the bitter, clean liquid.

“Vodka? Yuck.” Your face is scrunched up as you close your eyes and drink the remainder of the drink. You look back at Hitch, “No Pieck?”

Hitch frowns at the mention of the dark haired girl and shakes her head, not knowing why you would even bother to ask.

Pieck wasn’t initially your friend, she was his friend, but she quickly embedded herself into your friend group after you had started dating him. Hitch never really liked her, to be fair Hitch doesn’t really like anyone, in fact she always thought Pieck had tried a little too hard to be your friend, always looked at you a little too long. There had been multiple occasions where the shorter girl would lace her fingers with yours when she thought no one was paying attention, or Hitch would find her sending a heated glare in Proco’s direction when he would cling to you in front of her.

And it’s not like she’s even been around since the monumental breakup that occurred in June. Sending all of your calls to voicemail and neglecting the group chat before Ymir had enough and finally just kicked her out completely.

Needless to say, Hitch thought Pieck was fucking weird. But what she thought was weirder was that after you and Porco broke up, she completely ghosted not only the group- which Hitch could’ve excused- but you as well. Hitch couldn’t care less about Pieck not wanting to stay friends with her, but what bothered her was how hurt you were over it.

Sure, you have herself, Historia, and Ymir. Hitch has been your best friend since first grade and has never been anything less than your rock. Always there when you need her and never letting you down. And Historia joined the two of you, turning your duo into a trio in sixth grade when you and Hitch decided to join the cheer squad for middle school, and you met Historia at tryouts. The three of you made the squad and the rest was history.

When Ymir started dating Historia freshman year of college, she quickly learned how much you and Hitch meant to her, and in turn, as long as it was in her means, if you needed anything she was there.

But Pieck’s different, she’s no Historia, and she’s definitely no Hitch, but she’s Pieck and you hold a lot of love for her. And you were absolutely heartbroken that when you called her after the huge final blowout between you and Porco and she didn’t answer.

Sure, Hitch and Historia know how bad your relationship was, they know everything, but Pieck was the only one who saw how bad it was. It killed you to know she didn’t care enough to even just answer or send you a stupid text despite everything.

As if she can sense your mood dampening, Hitch grabs your hands, smiling wide and giddy again as she remembers why she drug you out of the kitchen in the first place, “You will not believe who is here!”

You roll your eyes playfully as you turn to give her your full attention so she can talk all about Marlo, not even noticing the eyes that can’t stop looking in your direction.

Across the room Eren stands with Mikasa and Armin, the blonde nearly sweating through his light blue button up shirt. Despite trying to calm him down, Mikasa can tell Eren’s mind is elsewhere. He keeps glancing across the room.

Following his eyes, Mikasa’s land on you with your friends and she has to fight an eyeroll, already irritated with being here.

Despite thinking his crush was stupid, hollow even, she couldn’t deny that she’ll never forget how upset she had been when she overheard Eren talk about you with Armin, the former had told him that you were probably the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

When she looked up your instagram later that same night, her stomach knotted as she noticed just how pretty you looked in all your photos, how put together you always seemed. Mikasa’s never really been insecure over girls Eren had brought in and out over the years, but you were just a different story.

Armin seems to finally catch on to the fact that Eren isn’t paying attention to his nervous ranting.

“Eren! Hello?” Armin finally snaps him out of trance, Eren looking at him briefly before looking back over at you, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He tells him off handedly, gaze still on you. You have a bright smile on your face as Hitch says something, he assumes, is funny.

“You should just go talk to her,” Armin finally tells him with an exasperated sigh, which causes both Eren and Mikasa’s heads to snap towards him.

“Why would I do that?” “Why would he do that?” Eren’s eyes meet Mikasa’s as she blushes harshly under his gaze that holds deep offense.

Armin looks between the two before he clears his throat awkwardly, “I mean it’s not like she has a boyfriend anymore or anything. Worst case scenario she ignores you,”

Eren nods before frowning slightly, “Yeah, but I almost knocked her down in the kitchen and didn’t even apologize,”

Armin looks at him with wide eyes, almost gasping, “You mean to tell me you finally had a chance to talk to her? And you didn’t?”

Another offended look is on Eren’s face in an instant, “How do you know I didn’t talk to her?”

Armin scoffs as he rolls his eyes at Eren’s question, “Well, actually, I know you. And I know for a fact that you didn’t talk to her because you wouldn’t be over here with us talking about her, you’d be over there with her. And I also know that even if talking to her didn’t work out, you still would’ve said something about it.”

Mikasa frowns again, “But aren’t we supposed to be here to support you, Armin? I mean you’re a nervous wreck.” Armin gives her a weird side eye, and frowns lightly at her behavior.

“I mean I have you here, and Jean and Connie are here if all else fails?” Though he says it as if it’s a question, Mikasa knows the question is why she’s being so defensive about Eren talking to you.

“I think it’ll be fine,” Armin turns back to Eren, giving him a nervous grin, “Just go talk to her1 Annie’s here already anyway.”

Eren nods to himself, and then looks between Armin and Mikasa with a half grin that makes Mikasa want to melt into a puddle. “Wish me luck.”

As Eren makes his way across the room towards you, Mikasa can’t help but frown as she starts to compare herself to you. The outfit you’ve got on compliments your body so nicely, while her ripped black jeans and black tank top do nearly nothing for her own figure. You’re also pretty outgoing, while Mikasa can barely hold a conversation with anyone who she hasn’t known since high school without cringing at herself.

The glitter that frames your eyes is also a deep contrast from the black liner that is smudged around her own, your hair is nicely styled with a pretty silver butterfly clip holding some of it back while Mikasa’s hair is at an awkward stage of nearly outgrown because she hasn’t had a chance to go get it trimmed since coming back to school.

She also has bags starting to form under her eyes, the long nights of studying getting to her. Choosing pre-med as her major in an attempt to stay close to Eren starting to bite her in the ass since it comes a lot easier for him, so he doesn’t have to study as much.

Jean and Connie join Armin and Mikasa once they notice Annie in the kitchen. Connie walks up behind Armin and wraps his arm around him, getting close to his ear so he can give him a pep talk on how to woo Annie. Armin grumbles back that he doesn’t need his help, but when Sasha bounces over, she gets on Armin’s other side and tells him that Connie means well, just take his advice!

Jean stands awkwardly next to Mikasa, who has yet to take her eyes off of Eren. Her eyes finally avert to Jean when he starts talking.

“You look really nice tonight, Mikasa,” She has a slight frown on her face, but she mumbles back a small thanks as she bites her lip. She looks like she does every day, and she wants to tell him that, but instead she gives him a fake smile that she knows he can see right though and asks him if he wants to go find something to drink. He has an idea of what she’s trying to do but smiles softly and tells her to lead the way.

As the two of them make their way to the kitchen, Mikasa takes another glance towards your direction, stomach dropping even more when she takes note that Eren’s standing in front of you with his hands in his pockets.

Hitch had been going on about Marlo and how handsome she think he is for the past twenty minutes; Ymir is about five minutes away from taking Historia up to a bathroom, and you’ve had probably one too many solo cups full of vodka when Eren made his way to you, hands in his pockets and a boyish half smile on his face.

Hitch cuts herself off mid-sentence when she takes note of the six foot two man towering over the couch you occupy, eyebrows raised as she looks between the two of you with a sparkle in her eye once she realizes his eyes are strictly on you.

Your own eyes are wide with drunken curiosity as you look at him. “I know you!” Your voice makes Eren smile slightly as you continue, “You bumped into me in the kitchen, right?”

Eren winces and lets out an awkward laugh, “Uh, yeah. I just wanted to come over and apologize, I had meant to earlier but was a little distracted.”

His heart sputters when you let out a soft giggle, “Oh, don’t worry about it! Parties can get distracting. Though, I’d hate to think you’ve spent this whole party thinking about apologizing instead of actually enjoying yourself,”

Though there’s a teasing glint in the smile on your face and in your tone, your eyes tell him you’re genuinely worried he spent the whole party worrying about the fact that he ran into you.

“Oh, uh no. Well I mean I was distracted by you, but” His eyes widen once he realizes what he said, while Hitch has to hold back laughter at the man in front of her turning red.

“You were distracted by me?” Your tone is slightly disbelieving, and your eyes have a certain shine in them that he doesn’t quite recognize but the look on your face has his own flushing even more.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Ymir and Historia have pulled away from each other and make eye contact with Hitch, whose eyes are gleefully wide as she looks between them over your head. Historia is a little confused due to the amount of liquor she’s drank in such little, but Ymir catches on pretty quickly to what Hitch is getting at and reaches across Historia to tell you that they’re gonna head out and they’ll see you later. Historia looks confused and goes to protest but a quick look from Ymir has her quiet despite her confusion.

Waving bye to your friends, Hitch looks across the room and her eyes land on Marlo, she looks back at Eren with a coy smirk, “Keep an eye on her for me, yeah?” and before he can answer she’s up and gone.

You and Eren sit in a semi-awkward silence for a few moments before he speaks up, “Do you want another drink?” He cringes at his question and silently prays that you don’t think the worst, that he’s just trying to get you drunk.

“Actually, I think I’ve had enough to drink, but maybe we can go sit outside or something?” He nods, an excited look in his eyes that makes you smile brightly. He reaches his hand out to you, and you take it, smiling wider as he helps you up and puts an arm around your back to take you outside. Neither of you notice the heated glare in Mikasa’s eyes as she watches from the kitchen.

It’s a lot more comfortable outside, you’re able to breathe and hear a lot  better. He sits next to you on the ground up against the rough brick of the house as the two of you spend nearly the next hour talking about whatever comes to mind.

Eren asks a lot about you, what you like, what your favorite food is, why your favorite song is your favorite song, asks about your major. He tells you that he thinks you look like an art major, which in turn you tell him you didn’t expect him to be in pre-med, which he laughs lightly as he nods in agreement, telling you it definitely wasn’t his first choice. You don’t ask him to elaborate, which he’s thankful for.

Mikasa frowns from her spot next to Sasha as Eren makes his way back over to the group, you shyly behind him with your fingers laced through his. Armin smiles and has to refrain from sending a thumbs up towards Eren once he notices you’re with him. Annie smiles, what Mikasa would consider her most genuine smile, and waves at you. Mikasa nearly forgot that the two of you used to be good friends at one point.

Mikasa tunes out the rest of the group as Eren explains that he’s gonna head out, you’re getting tired, and he wants to make sure you get home safe. He’s got that boyish smile on his face, and Mikasa watches how you’ve got a blinding grin on your own face, eyes not leaving him as he speaks to his friends.

Jean watches Mikasa’s eyes water slightly as Eren sticks his hand in your back pocket as the two of you walk away. Her watery eyes meeting his as she silently begs for him to make the pain go away.

εїз

Eren has you pinned up against the front door to his apartment before it can even slam shut behind you. Your chest pushed up against the door as his hands work their way up and down your sides under your shirt, teasing the underside of your breast as he grinds his erection into your ass as your back arches.

His left hand moves your hair to the side so he can suck on your neck while his right hand reaches for the button of your jeans, making quick work of getting them undone and slipping his hand into your panties. His middle finger makes quick work in circles on your clit, making you gasp in surprise and reach up with you right hand and grab at the back of his head, tangling your fingers his soft brown hair.

The light pull of your fingers causes him to groan and bite down on your neck, causing you to gasp in surprise.

He pulls his hand out of your pants and moves both hands to the hem of your jeans and begins to pull them down. His husky voice in your ear makes you moan out loud when he tells you how badly he wants to taste you.

His body follows his hands as he pulls your jeans down to your ankles, slapping your ass lightly before he spreads your cheeks so he can get a nice view of your cunt, and he groans when he sees how fucking wet you are.

His thumb finds your clit and he puts just the slightest bit of pressure, but somehow it’s enough to make you let out a soft moan of pleasure, causing him to smirk.

“Yeah, you like that, baby?” You nod and moan louder as he puts more pressure, rubbing harsh circles as he leans forward and dips his tongue into you. He groans at your taste, and he takes his thumb away from your clit so he can use both hands to pull your body closer to his face.

“God you taste so fucking good,” His words make you blush, but he gives you no time to respond, his tongue finding its way back to your clenching hole.

“Ohmygod,” You can’t contain the gasp of pleasure that leaves you as your right hand reaches around to hold his head in place as he continues fucking his tongue in and out of you, hands gripping your hips tightly to keep you as close to his face as he possibly can, breathing be damned.

His tongue alternates between fucking your hole and licking at your clit. His left hand moves from your hip to your cunt, and he sticks two fingers inside you as he continues licking at your clit. He groans at your tightness around his fingers, that with the addition of the taste of you driving him insane.

“Er-eren!” You yelp out his name as his fingers make quick work of finding your g-spot, you feel him smirk against you once he feels the spongey spot. Fingering you faster, his mouth moves back to your clit, and he puckers his lips around it and begins to harshly suck on it.

The feeling is too much, you feel like you can’t breathe. His fingers repeatedly hitting your g-spot, and his mouth harshly sucking on your clit has you cumming before you even realize it.

“Eren, ah! Fuck, I-I’m cumming,” You moan out, trying to warn him so he can pull away if he wants. But he somehow manages to keep surprising you.

“That’s right baby, you fucking cum for me.” Curling his fingers slightly harder against your g-spot, his free hand grips your hip harder to hold you in place as your body starts to tremble as your orgasm washes over you. He doesn’t pull his fingers away until you’re nearly sobbing from the stimulation against your g-spot, and he slowly pulls his fingers out of your clenching hole.

He smirks as you gasp, one hand still clinging to his head while the other hold the trim by the door for dear life. Slightly leaning forward, he licks your cunt one last time in a harsh strip from your clit up, momentarily sneaking his tongue back in you one last time for good measure.

Pulling away from you, he stands back up, slowly pulling your underwear back up. Giving your ass a light tap, he bends back down and lifts your legs up one at a time at your knees to help you pull your jeans off of your ankles. Eren folds and lays them on the end table by the front door before he makes his way back over to you, who’s now turned around, face flushed and facing him with legs still slightly shaking.

He smiles at you once his hands find their place back on your hips, mouth meeting yours in a kiss that makes you gasp in surprise, but your arms quickly make their way around his neck. Licking your bottom lip, he lifts you enough to where you can wrap your legs around his waist so he can walk you to his room. His tongue works its way into your mouth, causing you to moan slightly around it as he continues kissing you until he reaches his room and sits you on the edge of the bed.

You look at him confused when he makes his way over to his closet, pulling out an old black band t-shirt. It’s faded, but well taken care of. Your eyebrows furrow when he hands it to you and makes his way to his dresser, pulling out a pair of grey sweatpants and changing into them, leaving the t-shirt he was wearing off.

“Did you not want to…” Your voice trails off as you look at him with furrowed brows as he makes his way back over to you, fighting hard to keep your eyes off of his naked chest. He crouches down so your eye level, and he frowns when he sees the slight insecurity swimming in your eyes.

Reaching a hand up, he caresses your face and rubs his thumb just under your eye before he lightly pulls your face to his, kissing you again. This kiss is much lighter than the previous one, softer, he’s being much gentler. When he pulls away you frown slightly, leaning forward for more but he stops you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, trust me when I say I do want to. Like, very badly.” He huffs out a laugh through his nose, the furrow in your brow slightly deepening in a silent question, “But I also happen to enjoy you very much, and I’d like to take you out properly, ya know?” He blushes deeply as he says it, but the smile on your face brings a huge grin to his own.

Reaching forward, you wrap your arms back around him, pushing your face into his neck as a small sigh leaves your mouth, “I think you might be very good for me,” Eren hears you whisper as you nuzzle your face into his neck. Eren lets out a soft but genuine laugh as he pulls your body closer to his, hoping you’re right. Hoping he might just be good enough for you.

εїз

Mikasa looks around Jeans room, trying to stay as far away from him as possible in his full size bed, and she can’t help but wonder what you and Eren are doing right now.

Regret starts building deep in her gut as she realizes what she’s done with Jean will not only change the dynamic between the two of them, but also the fact that Armin is going to be so fucking disappointed in her once he realizes she only slept with Jean because she was upset Eren left with you.

Carefully crawling out of his bed, she quickly finds her phone and clothes before getting dressed and quietly leaving Jeans room.

Guilt is swirling in her stomach as she walks as quickly and quietly as she can out of his apartment and makes her way up a few flights of stairs to the one she shares with Armin and Eren.

She prays to herself that Armin and Annie decided to go back to Annie’s place, so they don’t have to see the disgusted look she has on her face. Disgust with herself, disgust with the fact that Jean let her use him, disgust with the fact that that the more she walks, the more she can feel Jean’s cum leaking out of her. Her disgust is quickly overcome by even more guilt as she unlocks the front door to the apartment.

Guilt is a terrible feeling, it’s nothing compared to the heartbreak she feels as she’s walking towards her room. Because the last thing she expected when she walked past the bathroom was to see Eren holding you up on the counter by the sink as he attempts to wipe the glitter off of your eyes.

He’s got that stupid smile on his face as he whispers for you to keep your eyes shut, he’s almost done. He holds your head at the nape of your neck gently with one hand while the other makes work of carefully rubbing your eye.

You’re mumbling incoherently, sleep lacing your voice as you hold your arms around his neck, head following wherever his hand guides it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eren notices Mikasa’s disheveled appearance, while he doesn’t make a comment one it, she notices the way he raises his eyebrow in surprise.

She wishes she could say something to defend herself, but her gaze is too caught on you. The way he holds you tenderly makes her stomach turn, he’s so careful and gentle as he caresses your face, it makes her frown in envy.

“We’re almost done, you can have the bathroom in a minute,” Eren tells her softly, and she hates that she knows his soft words aren’t for her benefit but your own. She watches as he does a quick glance over your face one last time before he throws away the makeup wipes from a brand she didn’t recognize, watches as he gently lifts you at your hips to wrap your legs around his waist and how your face instantly makes its way to his neck in an almost natural way.

“Night, Mikasa,” Eren whispers and smiles when he hears you mumble a soft night of your own. “Good night, Eren,” Her voice isn’t above a whisper either, so he doesn’t hear her voice crack as he shuts his bedroom door, leaving her in the soft yellow glow of the bathroom light, alone.

Despite all the negative and harsh thoughts running through her mind, all she can focus on is the fact that Eren had let you wear his favorite shirt.

εїз

Eren’s been awake for nearly fifteen minute, he knows he should probably wake you up too. He has a class in a little over an hour, and if he waits too much longer to get up, Mikasa will come to get him like she always does when he sleeps in.

But he can’t bring himself to care, not when you’re lying next to him making that old ass ‘the cure’ t-shirt look as good as you currently are.

He can’t help but admire you. You just look so perfect.

“You’re staring.” Eren flinches in surprise at your words, not realizing that you’ve already woken up.

“I’m gazing,” You peek an eye open at his words, a half-smile making its way onto your face at his cheesiness.

“It’s creepy.” He scoffs at you, leaning his face so close to your own that your noses are touching. “I think it’s pretty romantic.”

A hum leaves you as your raise your eyebrows at him, eyes closing slightly as you lean closer to him, lips nearly touching his, “Romantic you say?”

He sighs, nodding as his eyes refuse to leave yours, “Definitely romantic.”

Just as he’s about to lean in to seal the deal, a loud knock at his door causes the two of you to pull away from each other, “Eren, get up. We have class in a little more than an hour. I will not be late again to one of Hange’s classes because of you.”

He groans, head falling right next to your shoulder, “Yeah. Thanks, Mikasa,”

A laugh leaves your mouth, causing Eren to grin, “What time is it anyway?”

Eren reaches for his phone, clicking it on, “9:15,”

You groan loudly in despair. “I have class at 10:30,” The pout on your face almost has Eren asking if you want to skip and go get breakfast. Almost. But when you reach for your phone and sit up he decides against it.

He watches you scroll through your phone for a minute, not peeking at whatever you’re doing so he doesn’t seem like a creep. You’ve still got a little bit of glitter on your face from last night, and Eren inwardly cringes at the fact that he couldn’t get all of it off.

He likes the way you look in his bed, not to get ahead of himself but he definitely thinks that waking up with you a few days a week is something he could get used to.

Hopefully, next time you guys will have time to go get breakfast though, or maybe if it’s a weekend, you could get brunch.

Eren’s thoughts leave his mind when you look back over at him, a soft smile on your face, “Any chance I can get you to give me a ride home on your way to campus?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” He tries not to sound too excited at the thought of you sitting in his passenger seat. You mumble out a soft thank you as you watch him get out of bed and make his way towards his closet, leaning your head in the palm of your hand as you admire the way his back muscles move and flex when he pulls a black t-shirt over his head.

“What class do you have this morning?” He asks, with genuine curiosity, you look away to give him some sort of privacy as he takes off his sweatpants and underwear so he can put on a pair of dark wash jeans and new briefs.

“Oh, um, it’s an advanced sketching class. Nothing special.” Running your fingers through your hair, you stand up and look around his room for your jeans.

Eren turns back around as he’s buttoning his pants up, smiling when he finds you standing awkwardly without pants on. “Your pants are in the living room,”

A half-grin is on your lips when you make eye contact with him and nod. “Right, I forgot.”

“Forgot I ate you up against my front door last night?” He’s cheeky, and it makes your body heat up as you bite your lip to stop a smile from showing you enjoy his teasing. Reaching over, you lightly slap his arm and mumble for him to get his head out of the gutter, to which he gives you a cheeky smile and a peck on the cheek in relation.

Mikasa is sitting on the couch in the living room when the two of you walk out, and she has to fight looking at you too long once she notices you still aren’t wearing pants. Just that stupid t-shirt that Eren’s been attached to ever since he found it at some local thrift store when they were fourteen.

You smile and send her a small wave, getting a blank look in return that makes you frown slightly. Eren appears in front of you, holding your jeans with that same boyish grin on his face. “I think your shoes are still in my car,” A small okay leave your mouth as your slide your jeans on, not really caring for modesty at the moment since everyone in the room has already seen you without pants on.

Eren holds your phone and keys out to you, “I, uh, couldn’t find your shirt or the clip you had in your hair last night.” As he scratches the back of his neck, you have to refrain from ogling his biceps as they flex. “Oh, uh, that’s okay,”

Before either of you can say anything else, Mikasa clears her throat, “I hate to interrupt, but we have a class to get to.”

Eren gives her a weird look at the tone she uses and the look she’s giving you. “Actually, we’re taking a detour. We’re going to drop her off at her place first.”

She frowns and looks over you under her nose now that she’s standing, before giving him another look, “Eren, we seriously can’t be late again.”

You finally decide to speak up, “I can always get an uber-“

“I think that would be for the best.” “Absolutely not!”

You look awkwardly between the two of them as they glare at each other, feeling extremely out of place. You give Eren an uncomfortable look, “Really, I can find my own way home,”

Eren lets out a scoff, his eyes softening as he looks at you again, “It’s really not a big deal. And if she has such a problem with it, she can take a bus.”

Mikasa lets out a noise of disbelief grumbling a whatever, sending you a sharp glare as she storms to her room to grab her bag.

She can’t fucking believe him, how dare he? She’s been nothing but good to him for twenty-two years and this is what she gets in return? Over some random girl who didn’t even know his fucking name twenty-four hours ago?

The car ride to your apartment from theirs consists of an extremely awkward fourteen minutes, not that you were counting. Mikasa had sent you another intense glare when you went to sit in the front, practically forcing you to sit in the back and ignored you the whole time, talking over you anytime you tried to respond when Eren spoke to you.

You have to refrain from letting a huge sigh of relief leave you once the car stops in front of your building. Eagerly getting out of the car, you don’t even notice Eren quickly stumbling out of the driver’s seat as he tries to catch up with you.

“Hey! Hey, wait up!” His voice makes you halt your steps, turning around to look at him. “I’m really sorry about you, I don’t think she had a great night last night and-”

“You don’t owe me an explanation, Eren,” You don’t mean to interrupt, but he really doesn’t owe you any sort of explanation.

Slightly frowning he responds, “Well, I know. I, I just had a really, really good time last night, and I didn’t want to end things on a bad note or before I can ask for your number.”

“You could’ve just asked,” A light laugh leaves you at his more detailed than explanation, “I just meant you don’t have to apologize for your friend. Everyone has bad nights sometimes, and having someone throw of your routine can make stuff like that even worse.”

“Oh,” He laughs awkwardly as you hold out your hand for him to give you his phone. He watches with enthusiasm as you punch in your number before calling yourself, so you have his number.

“Text me later! I’d stay and talk more, but I need to go change for class and I think if you stay any longer, Mikasa may just glare a hole in my skull.” You press your lips against his cheek softly before you turn around to enter your building, “See ya later, Eren.”

His whole face is burning up by the time he gets in the car, too engrossed in what just happened to even notice that Mikasa has a deep scowl painting her features.

His phone buzzes, pulling it out he sees it’s a text from you. A fond smile is on his face when he sees it’s a mirror selfie of you in his t-shirt with a half grin on what shows of your face. For my contact photo <3

“Are we going to class or what?” Mikasa grits out with a hateful tone, snapping him out of his trance.

“Oh, right.” He awkwardly coughs out as he starts the twenty minute drive to campus. Very, uncomfortably, awkward twenty minutes.

εїз

Walking out of your sketching class, you’re pleasantly surprised to find Eren standing there waiting for you with, what you assume is, an iced coffee in his hand. Once he notices you, a huge smile appears on his face.

“Hey!” Your face heats as he hands you the drink enthusiastically, “Uh, Hi!” You look between him and the drink with curious eyes, causing him to blush as you take it.

“Oh, right. It’s an iced chai, with oat milk. I had Armin make it, he said you seemed like the type to like chai, but if you don’t like it then I can take you and get you something else.”

Your eyes don’t leave his face as he goes on about how Armin said oat milk was definitely a safe choice, because in case you have a dairy allergy, he firmly believes it superior non-dairy milk. Eren continues rambling for a few minutes about how he has no idea about the differences between almond and oat milk before he finds himself lost in your eyes that seem lost in his.

Smiling, you reach your free hand and grab his own, “I love oat milk. And, I have to agree with Armin, it is the superior non-dairy milk.”

Relief washes over his features as he smiles brightly at you, eyes traveling over you as he takes in your outfit change from this morning. You’ve chosen pink again today, and he can’t deny that it looks great on you, though he wishes you had kept on his shirt instead of going with the pink jeans with the pink corduroy jacket over a cropped white tank top you’ve chosen today.

You clutch your black tote bag closer to you as you sip the drink happily, grinning at Eren as you bite on the straw.

He smiles softly and clears his throat, “Anyway, I had a question for you.”

You quirk a brow, nodding for him to continue, “There’s this old theatre in town, they play lots of older films. They’re playing Rear Window on Friday at 7:30. Last night you mentioned you like older movies, so,” he sticks his hands in his pockets, biting his lip and glancing up at you, green eyes shining.

Your face heats up even more if possible, “Are you asking me out?” You pray his answer is yes.

“I mean, yeah! But, like, only if you want, though,” He’s met with a lip bite as you fight back yet another grin.

Despite wanting to say yes, you feel the slight need to be cautious. “I would love to go see Rear Window with you, but-”

Eren has to fight the frown that begs to take over his features at your words as you continue. “I just got out of a relationship. The only relationship I have ever been in, actually. And, well it wasn’t exactly a great relationship,”

Looking up at him you give him a small smile, “I would love to go out with you Eren, on a date. But do you think we could maybe, I don’t know, just hang out for a little bit? Take things slow?”

Eren tries not to look disappointed, because he does understand and he’s not disappointed, more bummed than anything honestly. But, he’s spent a whole semester pining over you, what’s a little longer?

“Absolutely!” The relief in your eyes makes whatever disappointment that was trying to creep in disappear completely.

Yeah, he absolutely can take things slow. No problem at all, right?

Can you take things slow, though? Probably not.

A comfortable silence develops between the two of you as you leave the fine arts building and head towards the parking lot to the south of it, “Do you want to get lunch with me and my friends tomorrow? I can pick you up around 1?”

Looking at him, you smile and nod, “Yeah, but are you sure no one will mind?”

Neither of you need to say anything to know you’re referring to Mikasa and her behavior towards you this morning. His face falls slightly at the thought of you not wanting to meet or hang out with his friends just because she was acting out of character this morning.

“Of course not!” It rushes out before he can control it. “If you’re worried about Mikasa, she had just had a bad night last night, like I was telling you earlier. It had absolutely nothing to do with you!”

You bite your lip, still unsure as you two come to a stop next to your car. Looking up at him, you sigh internally when you see his green eyes are already staring deeply at you, as if he’s begging you to say yes.

Despite a nagging feeling deep in your stomach, one telling you not to give in, especially so soon, a small voice in your head tells you that this, that he, could be good for you.

A soft smile creeps onto your glossy lips as you nod, telling him you’d be happy to go with him to lunch with his friends.

The smile the breaks out on his face makes all your negative thoughts disappear.

This will be a good thing, worst case, you just don’t click with his friends. He seems to like you plenty well already, and you like to think you’re likeable, surely his friends will, at the very least, get along with you.

I’d Rather Die

In.

Pause.

Out.

Pause.

Repeat.

The actions themselves were second nature themselves, yet the gentle directing words were the actual anxiety relievers. It was quiet out, the world had never felt so still before, almost seeming as though it had completely stopped moving itself. Even as I stood outside the Boar Hat, there wasn’t the slightest gust of wind, nor the chirping of crickets to prove that the world was still itself. After all that had happened, I’d have thought that the kingdom would be full of more life than this; it would be bustling with excitement and optimism, with opportunities and hope, yet it was quite the opposite. It was as though the Sins had never saved the kingdom from a demonic disaster, as though threat still loomed over the horizon.

It had felt like that for a while, long before we had even begun the expedition looking for the rest of the sins, subsequently leading to where we are now. It would be stupid of me to think the deeply rooted anxiety would just disappear after one day, yet still, it seemed…misplaced. The fear did not belong to the idea of another Holy War breaking out across the land, but rather in something that seemed so minuscule in comparison. Despite that, it still weighed just as heavily on my heart, and fueled my current decision of leaving the company of the Sins and the Princess. It was never to be permanent, I had planned on leaving after ensuring Princess Elizabeth’s safe return home, but along the way the plan started to change. And again it has changed, back to its original state, though for reasons quite opposite of the reasons for it changing in the first place.

In.

Pause.

Out.

Pause.

Repeat.

I hiked my bag further up my shoulder, holding it tightly as I began to walk towards the forest path, away from the Boar Hat. My heart seemed to sink further and further with every step I took, yet I continued. There was nothing left there for me, nothing that was true, anyhow. All that remained were sweet lies and sugar coated nightmares. The physical burden that came along with the Sins were easy to bear, but the emotional toll? I hadn’t signed up for that.

I didn’t sign up to meet someone so brazen and excitable, yet who could tell exactly what I was thinking and feeling at any given moment. I didn’t sign up to have someone learn to read me as easily as a book, and unravel the secrets I resolved to keep hidden as easily as untying a shoelace. I didn’t sign up to become accustomed to a single person’s presence around me, and be lost without them there. I didn’t sign up to be so wrapped around a person’s finger that they wouldn’t have to even look my way for me to know when they wanted something. And I most certainly didn’t sign up to learn that the person I had fallen so hard for was only concerned with finding ways to bring his own beloved back to life.

I didn’t sign up to have my heart broken.

The truth had never fully come out after the fight between Ban and Meliodas, but a simple ask of Hawk had the truth in the palm of my hands. I had never felt more stupid in my life, of course he wouldn’t feel the same way, things like that only happened in fairy tales. It seemed pointless, then, to stay with the Sins. I completed my job, I got Elizabeth back home safely, now it was time to move on. I successfully managed to pack my bags during dinner time without anyone noticing, and decided to leave after everyone had fallen asleep. I’ll be long gone by the time anyone wakes up, and even further away when they realize I’m no longer there.

So gone I was, away from the warm and comforting embrace of friends, and back into the icy hands of solitude. I was used to it, I had never had much of anyone in my life, and I always traveled alone, yet after traveling with the Sins and going through all the ventures we had, it felt wrong to continue alone. The forest broke into a small clearing, a cliff evident some odd yards off from the forest line. I could see a town below in the distance, gray clouds billowing from the smoke stacks letting me know that the town was alive.

Sunshine beamed down warmly, yet the world still felt so still. I set my bag down close to the edge of the cliff, then sit myself on top of it. I hadn’t really taken a moment to rest since I left, just the occasional stop to nap for a bit, and then again back to traveling. Closing my eyes, I allow my body to relax, the tightness in my chest slowly releasing as I breathed.

In.

Pause.

Out.

Pause.

Repeat.

The mantra echoed throughout my head, soothing my frayed nerves. I was gone, the walls were back up and reinforced, the chains had never been more sturdy. I was safe back in the reclusion of myself, a place where none could hurt me. Yet even as I convinced myself that I was safe, and I was yet again alone, the thundering of footsteps headed my way were a clear indication that I was not. I tended up, reflexively reaching for my sword as I stood and turned to face the forest.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Perhaps some bandits, or wandering travelers, maybe even foragers from the town below. I most certainly, however, wasn’t expecting to see Ban’s towering figure break through the forest and stand before me. He breathed heavily, sweat forming on his forehead and chest. His outfit had changed from the last time I saw him, surprising me as he seemed to love the red leather outfit. What surprised me even more was the fact that he was somehow here before me despite being several days worth of travel away from the Boar Hat.

“How did you find me?” I asked, voice slightly wavering from shock.

“That would be thanks to my superior skills, hehe.” Another familiar voice responded.

From behind Ban emerged a large pig, and I internally groaned at Hawk’s arrival as well. Of course, he had more than likely caught my scent and led Ban right to me. I let out a sigh, somewhat relaxing as I let go of my sword and pick my bag up again.

“Well what do you want?” I question dryly, though I don’t quite wait for a response and I begin descending the mountain.

“I need a reason to come join you on a journey?” Ban replied somewhat jokingly. He started after me, easily catching up with me.

I give him a glare, not at all in the mood for his jokes. Yet he makes no effort to answer the question, just continues to stroll beside me in silence. It made me irrevocably angry to see him so peacefully walking, acting as though nothing at all had happened between us. It must be bliss for him, to be so unaware of the turmoil I had been in since his fight with Meliodas. I wanted so badly to scream at him, to tell him just what he had done to me, to tell him to leave and never come back, but all I could get out was “You should go back with the others.”

“Why?” He asked me, as though the mere notion were inconceivable to him.

“They need you, you’re one of them.”

“We completed our mission and stopped the Holy Knights. There’s no more need for us to stick together.”

“Then why are you here? What need do you have that requires you to be here?”

“Again, do I need one?”

“Yes. I left for a reason, but it means nothing if you follow me anyways.”

He didn’t exactly flinch, but I could see the slight recoil in his eyes. Part of me felt bad, I never intended to hurt him, but in the moment, I just wanted him to leave me alone. We both stopped walking, not even close to the base of the cliff, instead teetering rather close to the edge.

“You got something against us or something?” He asks nonchalantly, though I can hear the defensive undertones.

“My job was to return Elizabeth home safely. I did that, there’s no other reason for me to stay anymore.” I reply. Again, I could sense the recoil.

“If that’s the case, why are you so upset that I came to join you? If there’s something bothering you then just say it.”

“I’m fine, Ban, just go ba-“

“Bullshit. If you were fine you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

“What’s it to you how I’m acting, huh? Since when did you care?”

“You’re my friend and comrade, why wouldn’t I?”

Friend. Of course, I’m just a friend. Nothing would ever change that. I was tired, my heart hurt, I just wanted to be alone. Being alone would be better than this.

“Don’t you have a fairy to go revive? Why don’t you go find ways to bring her back and leave me alone for once.” I tell him. There was no life to my voice, just flat tones and exhaustion.

That was when he finally flinched, as though I had hit him across his face. There was pain etched across his face, and both remorse and understanding in his eyes.

“This is about Elaine?” He slowly asked.

I shook my head, almost in disbelief. He was so close yet so far. “Not exactly, Ban.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s you yourself.” I finally say. “You took the time and effort to get to know me and understand me. You wormed your way into my life, and not only made me feel like I belonged, but that I actually mattered to someone. You protected me even though I didn’t need it, you comforted me when I had no one else to. For once, I didn’t feel alone anymore…and I was going to stay for you. I was going to travel and fight with the Sins because I wanted to be there with you. But what’s the point if the whole time you were only looking to bring back the girl that you actually love.”

I hadn’t even realized I was crying until at least a breath of wind flew across the way, and I could feel the chill of the tears on my cheeks. Ban stood silent for a while, and I just dryly chuckled, wiping the tears off of my face.

“But it’s just my dumb mistake, falling for someone whose heart is already taken, right?” I rhetorically ask.

I hike my bag again up my shoulder, and began to set off again. I said some of what had been plaguing my mind, but still my heart felt just as heavy as though it were an incurable disease.

“You’re still planning on leaving after that?” The audacity is what stopped me again.

“Why should I stay, Ban?

Silence again.

“I need you.”

I didn’t think I heard it at first, it was so quiet, but I turned around anyways.

“You need me?” I ask.

“Too hard to believe for you?”

“You’re planning on reviving your ex, Ban, excuse me for needing a little more than that to believe you.”

“Yes, sweets, I need you.”

That stupid pet name. He began calling me that not long after we met, he claimed me to be sweet as sugar despite having watched me wipe out several Holy Knights alone without breaking a sweat. It was dumb, it was untrue, yet it brought a small sense of comfort when he used it.

“Do you really need me? Or do you just need someone to fill the void until you can get Elaine back?” It sounded harsh when I said it, only half intending it to sound that way.

“I want you to be my last, sweets. I loved Elaine, but I can learn to live without her. I can’t learn to live without you, too. I’d rather die than be separated from you.”

There was a sincerity from him I hadn’t expected, at least not in these circumstances. Was it really that easy? He fought Meliodas, his best friend, because he thought by killing him he could bring Elaine back. Could his feelings really change that quickly just because I left? As if he could sense my hesitation, Ban stepped closer to me, and gingerly cupped my face in his hands.

“She showed me that love was possible for me, but even more than love, you make me feel alive. You make being immortal worth it, like I can bear eternity as long as I have you. I….just don’t leave me. I need you….I really do.” He says softly.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give this a chance. Give us a chance.

“Okay.” I whisper, yet he was close enough to hear it clearly.

He smiled down at me, a look so tender and gentle I couldn’t help but lean more into him, legs beginning to weaken. Ban chuckled at me, and leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead. I smile softly at the touch, and I could feel my cheeks grow red. He tilt my face upwards more, kisses me again on my right cheek, and again my left. I giggle when he plants a kiss on my nose, and playfully bites the tip of my nose. Just when I think he’s finally going to indulge me and kiss me on the lips, he goes further down, and places a kiss on my chin.

“Really?” I ask, laughter in my voice.

He only grins at me, a silly smile that has me melting in laughter. He laughs alongside me, his hands dropping to hold my gently around my waist. And then, without warning, he dips his head down again to kiss me on the lips. I didn’t move at first, partially shocked, but soon leaned into the touch, allowing myself to relax and be guided by him. His kiss was both gentle yet so passionate, as though he were trying to convey entire stories to me through a single touch.

The aching in my chest slowly unraveled in his hold, replacing the pain and fear with only love and compassion. It felt so unreal, to be so wrapped in someone’s love and embrace. I didn’t ever want to stop, nor let go of this moment. In his own words, I’d rather die than let this go again.

tell me when you’re ready.

₊˚⊹ featuring: kaji ren x gn! reader

₊˚⊹ summary: kaji doesn’t like you to see him like this — his animalistic urges taking over him as he fights. but, when the time comes that you catch sight of him in that state, kaji thinks you’re better off without him.

₊˚⊹ word count: 0.9k

₊˚⊹ warnings: mentions of blood and violence! (nothing too explicit though), grammar errors (not proofread!)

₊˚⊹ author’s note: live laugh love kaji ren <333 this is my contribution to the windbreaker fandom 😝 i’m still trying to practice writing him so feedbacks r welcome !

this was a side of kaji that you had mostly heard about in stories of his past, passed from one bofurin member to another. his gray pupils dilated, ends of his platinum blonde hair tainted with crimson red from trickling blood on his forehead cuts, his furin high school jacket and headphones carefully discarded across the warehouse, and a multitude of unconscious bodies and pools of blood surrounding your boyfriend, as he breathed heavily from the fight.

kaji had long suppressed these animalistic urges to take over him, not wanting you to see him like this. he does everything within his capabilities, but the both of you stand motionless at your positions, staring at the unfolding scene.

kusumi and enomoto's rapid footsteps echoed towards you, snapping your head in their direction. they were breathless due to fighting and probably running, as they were trying to shield you from seeing kaji in this state.

you were afraid. you had never seen your boyfriend fight like this before, as you mostly detested violence and tried to avoid it as much as possible. but, you felt kaji's gray eyes bore into yours. his hands dropped to his sides, almost dreadfully, and opened his mouth to speak, "so, what do you think?"

you tilted your head in confusion, "huh?"

kaji continuously looked at you, eyes hovering over your entire body to check if you had accumulated some scratches or such, "you're afraid, aren't you?"

you didn’t answer him, because he was right. you avoided his gaze and looked down towards the floor, tainted with rough marks and splatters of blood. he scoffed at your silence, perceiving it as an answer to his question, "i expected as much. if you can't handle this, maybe we should stop this now. i don't want you to see me like this."

your eyes widened at his statement.

you hesitantly walked towards him, feeling your shoes step into blood, staining them. once you stood in front of kaji, you placed your hand on his tensed shoulder, which relaxed under your touch. you pulled out a handkerchief and began wiping his bloodied face. "i know that we both are aware that i have always hated violence like this,” you began, dabbing at some of the blood.

"then, you don't hafta do this," he tried to pry your hand away from his blood. kaji thought he’s dirty, too disgusting for someone like you to touch. but, you still continued wiping his battered face despite his resistance.

"but, i want you to know that i would never break up over something like this. there are secrets that you have yet to tell me, and perhaps this experience was one of those secrets. which is why, i would patiently wait for you to open up to me, kaji." you said, as you felt his gaze onto your eyes. he, then, felt guilty as he could see them turning red, alongside your wavering voice.

"so, please..." the moment you tried to speak, it came out as a desperate whisper. your tears started to cascade downwards your cheeks. "do not ask me to leave you." you pulled your hand away from his face, finishing up on cleaning him.

your tear-stained eyes locked with his widened gray ones. this was the feeling he hated the most — seeing you cry, seeing that he's nothing but a failure of a boyfriend once again. he wanted to hold your hands, interlace them with his calloused ones, but, he felt as if he would only sully your clean hands if he became selfish with his desires.

as kaji hesitated, he felt your hands move to cup his face. you closed the distance between your faces, and gently pecked him in the lips. the corners of your mouth turned upward as you gazed at your boyfriend's softened features. "you know that i love you, 'kay?" you said, smoothing out random strands of his bangs.

kaji, then, gave into his desires and pulled you into a tight hug. you squeaked at the suddenness of his tight arms wrapped around you. he hummed a quiet ‘sorry’ as he rested his head on your shoulder and delighted himself with your scent. you smiled, as you equally wrapped your hands around his neck and carefully tugged and played with his hair.

"ahem!" while enomoto did not want to interrupt the both of you, patrol hours were coming to an end. kusumi, on the other hand, seemed to grin as he kept taking photos of the scene unfolding in front of him — a rare moment of their usually stoic grade captain being soft.

you could hear kaji rumble in annoyance, as he clicked his tongue. you pressed your lips on the edge of his earlobe, "my apartment?" you offered, as you intended to properly clean his cuts.

he simply hummed in agreement to your offer, reluctantly breaking the hug. kaji preferred to spend his time with you, basking in your scent at your apartment. and like a protective and obedient kitten, he laced his hand with yours and took his headphones and jacket, following your footsteps.

you could hear kusumi and enomoto snickering and laughing, respectively, at their captain's tender gestures — making kaji growl at them. you chuckled at your boyfriend as you watch him bid farewell to his vice-captains.

"i didn’t get to say it earlier, but i love ya too. and, uh… thank you for loving me." he mumbled, feeling himself cringe with his words, since expressing himself was one of the things he struggled with. you giggled at him and squeezed his hand, as his face slightly flushed in a light shade of red.

oh, how much you love him.