Wanted To Share This Andddd

wanted to share this andddd

i bought the sebastian plushie last week and im still so happy about it

unfortunately, i have to wait until january but i dont mind waiting lol

and i had to pay 10 bucks for the shipping. :sob:

tw su***de, death

one of my close friends might be dead after their possible attempt

me and my friends havent heard anything from him for almost two days

he might be dead

i dont know how to feel than just cry my eyes out

im so sorry donut

i wish me, bannish and step spent more time with you

i love you so much and im so fucking sorry...

drawing sebastian at school is like therapy 2 me

and a way to distract myself from reality /hj

i just remembered i forgot to do yesterday's selfshipoctober...

FUUUUUUUUCK 😭

selfshiptober, day three !

embrace | blood

this is gonna be pretty short but...

this is gonna be

sort of personal(?) in a way... yeah.

tw for mentions of house fire, death and murder

and also, little warning ahead for a bit of angst (with comfort as well)

...

i still remember being so alone.

so lost.

so broken.

my parents already broke my porcelain heart after sebastian placed it all back together.

i was treated like a joke by my mom, treated like a mistake by my dad.

they made me feel like i was worth... nothing.

and he treated me like i was everything in his entire universe.

it felt... oddly comforting, getting love and affection after being separated for years.

it was... amazing seeing sebastian again, yes.

but yet, i wonder what would had happened if... i never killed them.

if i never killed my parents.

if i never burned down the house i grew up on.

i wouldn't be here.

i wouldn't be here with sebastian...

i wouldn't...

...

"hey, are you doing alright?" sebastian asked.

i was sitting on the floor, laying my back on his tail.

i wasn't feeling well, i was on one of those days that i felt shitty and completely lost.

i wouldn't say anything, staying completely silent.

sebastian was obviously worried and wanted me to say something, he never liked getting the silence treatment from me.

he loudly sighed.

"leaf... please talk to me." he said, soundly more worried than he already was.

and suddenly, i would burst out crying.

he immediately picked me up and held me close to him.

"hey hey... you can cry, it's okay..." he said, reassuring me.

"theyre still there, theyre still in the back of my mind." i spoke, i was referring to my dead parents.

he ran his fingers thru my hair and kissed my forehead, still reassuring me.

"its okay sunshine, you wont have to deal with them anymore...."

"i promise, you're here with me now."

"you're safe with me, leaf."

"and ill make sure that you always be, my love." ♡

i miss when we would record videos with our friend group

i miss when we played roblox all together

i miss when we would call for hours with them and laugh at the dumbest shit ever

i miss when you were still alive

step misses you

banish misses you

and i fucking miss you so much donut.

we love you so fucking much.