Life Tip #65

Life Tip #65

make out with your partner while in quarantine...ahaha jk...no really jk, we have to practice social distancing for public health bro

Life Tip #58

Some good things to remember that you might forget:

No one is guaranteed a second chance but people can change. You as a person are perfectly capable of evolving and adapting. You will always have the option to become better.

Don’t microwave marshmallows for longer than twenty seconds. It’s tempting but don’t.

It’s okay to have wanted something and not get it. You don’t need to use hindsight bias in every situation. (ex. Getting a bad grade on the test and being like “oh, I didn’t even really try anyway.”) You don’t have to make every shot you take.

If you have bad food in the house, you will eat the bad food. Eliminate the temptation entirely by having a set grocery list when you go to the store and try crossing out processed foods to the best of your ability! Your body is gorgeous and I want you to take care of it.

Don’t fucking touch the horsehair on string instrument bows !! Don’t do that !! 

Please please please do not eat the crunchy fall leaves, they are not good for munchies.

Telling somebody about your problems does not make you demanding. You are a human being and your emotions are valid. 

People don’t have to like you. You don’t exist for anybody else, no matter how many times somebody will try to reinforce that idea. 

The parsley comes out of the bottle faster than you expect. Be ready. Do not allow it to dominate.

It’s hard to say “I love you” but it’s good to practice. Tell yourself “I love you” a lot more often than you think you should. Chances are, it’s never going to be too much.

Life Tip #62

“reblog for good luck” posts are fantastic and they give the same kind of giddy excitement that you had when you were a kid throwing a penny in a wishing well but friendly reminder that even when you reblog something and something really good happens, luck is only 5% and every single good decision you’ve made up until that point constituted the other 95%.

good things happening to you isn’t just luck. the universe decided you deserved it.

Life Tip #54

power move: point in random directions while telling stories at a part that doesn’t make sense. watch your audience swivel around in confusion but then lower your hand and continue as if nothing happened.

ex. you: So I was walking my dog— (point at tree behind person)

person: (turns around, sees tree, no dog visible, turns back around) why did you—?

you: (lower hand) and you know, my dog’s a really wild boy, so i’ve been thinking about sending him to a doggy daycare or something, get some tips on how to make him stop peeing on the carpet.

Life Tip #55

a short list of places to escape this dimension:

grocery stores just before closing time, when the people have begun clearing out and you are surrounded by aisles of bright chip bags, the chill of cold meat, the hum of flickering lights, whirring bread ovens, and the loudest noise is the soft tapping of your footsteps echoing throughout the store. you pass an employee, wave hello, but they vanish once they pass by the holiday display and you never see them again. there is no longer food lining the shelves. the products consist of your musings of the universe and what you imagine should be there. somehow, you know where everything is, but only because you have willed it to that place.

gas stations past midnight, when your headlights are brighter than the lights hanging above you, and the smell of gasoline grows stronger the more you think about it. the voice coming out of the machine is different, but you’re not sure if it’s gotten higher or lower, you’re not sure if you’re hearing a voice anymore and yet, you understand everything it’s saying. the swipe of your card is instinct, you’re not sure how much gas cost, but your tank is full now and you hear barking and howling in the distance. it’s strange. you don’t remember there being wolves or coyotes in this area.

streams off the side of the highway at sunrise, where the morning rush hasn’t yet started and for once, the sound of the water outweighs the rumble of streetcars and the water splashes recklessly across the rocks. you wonder when mother nature will take back her earth. you wonder if it is already happening.

empty patios at evening parties when the stars and you stand alone with an icy cold drink in your hand that you can’t hold onto for too long before your hand turns red and numb. your arms have goosebumps and you stare out into the sky, licking your lips, trying to put feeling back into your hands.

school classrooms when the entire student body is at an assembly and you stand alone in the room, basking in the silence.

Life Tip #67

delete tumblr and instead follow instagram accounts that repost tumblr posts. nobody should have to experience that stuff that happens on here firsthand