
"You are dripping on my lovely new floor," said Rafal. Rhian blinked at the black stone tiles, grimy and thick with soot.
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Rafal Is The Most Character Ever. He Dies Twice. He Uses Seduction, But Is Never Truly Seduced. He Claims
Rafal is the most character ever. He dies twice. He uses seduction, but is never truly seduced. He claims to be rational and pragmatic, but lives for drama. He watches torture like television. His canonical favorite food is hilariously dainty cucumber and herb butter sandwiches. He's literally a sorcerer, but was foiled by a sentient pen. He's supposedly good, but exhibits considerable bloodlust. He seems to enjoy the revelry at a nightclub, but never lets loose because he's so repressed, despite literally being evil for more than 50% of the time. He probably commits his world's approximation of war crimes, but looks down on mere piracy. He acts as if he could care less for fashion, but is a fashion icon all the same. He received a prophecy as a warning to essentially take safety precautions for himself, like any other fantasy protagonist in the history of ever, but took it to mean that he was the problem. He believed himself the greatest threat because he was an arrogant control freak, and didn't think anyone else could get in his way, despite the fact that he was the one person to fix things and restore order most of the time. He thinks he's above living an ordinary life. He actually wants to be the burdened chosen one because he has a thirst for power. He thinks of himself as in control when he's actually fate's plaything. He's incredibly genre-savvy, but doesn't know himself well enough to use his genre-savviness to his advantage.
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More Posts from Liketwoswansinbalance
The Good, the Evil, and the Volcano
I've been watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996), as per a recommendation from @rosellemoon, (Thank you, by the way—I've really been enjoying it!) and had a thought based on the season three finale, "The Good, the Bad, and the Luau."
The premise of the episode was that Sabrina had an evil twin, Katrina, and both twins were put on trial, to determine who was the good one as a matter of life-and-death.
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There were three "trials"/testimonies in the episode, if I recall correctly, and the twins had to bring forth evidence of their goodness.
To loosely interpret what happened: whomever was found to be the evil one was to be sent away, a fairly benign punishment. Yet, it actually turned out that the evil twin would be pitched into an active volcano as a human sacrifice, to cleanse the pair of its shadow. (Hold that thought for a bit. I will circle back to it later!)
Ok, now to transpose this into the Endless Woods:
Unbeknownst to the brothers, the stakes of the trial are much higher than they first believe, worse than they were initially led to perceive by the impartial Gnomeland judge who lied to them, so as to preserve the integrity of the examination.
One fateful day, Rhian and Rafal are brought to trial, to determine the true content of their souls and thus, their fates, accordingly, probably in a version of the Endless Woods that wants to purge itself of all Evil, being more dystopian than it already is.
In the episode, Katrina passes one of the tests with flying colors, and things originally look bleak for Sabrina. As far as Rhian and Rafal go, the plot could look like this:
Rhian is performatively Good, and he's far better at looking Good on paper than Rafal is, for all intents and purposes. Yet, the question is: how much of his Goodness is sincere? Appearances can be deceiving and not everything is as it seems. Just, keep those classic adages in mind.
And, even if Rafal is renowned for his Evil all throughout the Woods, he tries his hardest to win the trials, and so too does Rhian.
They have ample reason to try after all—neither of them wants to be cast out of the Woods, consigned to a magicless existence. And, more importantly, neither of them wants to be the loser on principle, because that would mark them as the inferior twin for the rest of their days.
Anyway, by contrast, Rafal's reputation does not serve him well, and whenever he does Good, it's for selfish reasons. His motives are often more visibly selfish than Rhian’s reasons. Albeit, Rhian's reasons for doing Good are also just as self-serving, just more subtle; they revolve around vanity more than Rafal's power-hungry drive for tangible gains does, at the very least.
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Thus, during the first of the trials, Rhian had a lifetime of clearly Good Deeds to show for himself, and Rafal had... nothing. And, Rhian exhibited compassion during a spontaneous act of kindness.
During the second trial, Rafal won by acting quickly under a high-pressure situation, leaving Rhian as the loser.
Now, during the third trial, Rafal had a better answer than Rhian's in response to the prompting from the judge: to recall something Good they did for another during the last 24 hours. (Luckily for Rafal, hours ago, he had done something that qualified indirectly as a Good Deed: he had been thinking over a riddle the Kingdom Council had given him to solve, and the Stymph screeches outside had finally gotten to him. He decided to confront the birds, and Humburg, who looked to be the source of their agitation from Rafal's view, as Rafal didn't have all the information available. The Stymphs had been starving, made irritable by their prolonged suffering, and Humburg was suffering from back pain, groaning on the ground, being pecked. So, Rafal cast a spell to silence the Stymphs, providing them with food, but he only did it to "mute" them, in a sense, in order to shut them up, so he could properly concentrate, and get back to his riddle promptly. He also decided to "help" Humburg by petrifying him temporarily, but even if that was a crude, scornful "solution," it did technically alleviate Humburg's back pain!)
Later, however, it turned out that when Rafal's answer about the aforementioned Good Deed was reviewed in more depth, it was found to have been driven by impure intentions, disqualifying Rafal's evidence, meaning Rhian, was, by default, the victor of the third trial, and had won 2/3 of them, fair and square.
So, it came to be that the moment of the sacrifice had arrived.
Both twins were told the truth of the matter, that the actual punishment for being Evil was to be thrown into deathly, red-hot lava. And, it was the Good twin's noble duty to bid his Evil twin farewell and perform the send-off.
The judge commanded Rhian to push Rafal into the volcano, and he does! Miraculously, without question, Rhian obeyed the authority at hand.
Rhian said, "Okie dokie!" with unusual cheer, and shoved Rafal over the edge to his demise, secretly relieved that he had the chance to continue living. (Rhian was willing to sacrifice his brother because he's cowardly and didn't want to die himself.)
Rafal and the Ever witnesses present stared in slack-jawed, wide-eyed horror at how Rhian had publicly exposed his sudden, seemingly newfound capacity for Evil.
Then, Rafal toppled, almost plunging straight into the hot, molten lava below, but he managed to latch onto the cliffside by Rhian's feet, and when he regained his bearings, whilst still dangling precariously over the fuming, burning crater, he vengefully seized Rhian's ankle and pulled. And, he didn't pull himself up. Instead, he intended to drag Rhian down, shouting that he would take Rhian down with him, even if it was the last thing he did!
The judge observed these ongoings, and heaved both twins back over the edge, back onto solid ground, saving them. He then announced that no Good twin has ever had the heart to do away with his Evil twin, in the history of all other twin trials preceding this... exceptional outcome, but while this would, under ordinary circumstances, mean that he should pronounce the victim the Good twin and the one who followed through with his unethical order as Evil, this time, it was... rather hard to tell them apart, especially when accounting for Rafal's outburst, his equally murderous reaction toward Rhian's act, being petty retaliation and all.
Neither had passed the Volcano Test, a harrowing final test in disguise, which had devolved to become more hazardous than it was originally designed to be.
So, the judge concluded that both twins were Evil.
Consequently, he issued a court order for them to be closely monitored for signs of "reformation" as they returned to their daily lives, once again, having outlived a pretty surreal experience for the ages. In fact, in hindsight, the case was interpreted by a law clerk to mean that, incidentally, they had proven themselves more a danger to each other than a threat to the Woods at large.
The END.
What would Rafal say about Mifal?
(which I wholeheartedly ship against my better judgment btw)
Also, would he consider me a seer?
for reasons...
Hopefully, the answer I came up with isn't too disappointing.
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Rafal: What is "Mifal?"
[After he receives an explanation:]
Rafal: Ergo, you intended to "ship" me with a student... why? I don't love, and I'm not about to make a habit of it. It'd sooner be cold in Hell before that happens. [dismissively, with a note of sarcasm] I think you would better your chances by bringing this query to my brother. I'm sure he'd just rejoice to hear it. Besides, as useful to my cause as he was, Midas was too willful—the boy didn't even follow through with my plans.
Rhian: [overhears and interrupts, mockingly] O, the great Rafal was felled yet again by the error of his ways. You should've known he wouldn't be pliable enough for either of our plots! Even your original class of students sentenced you to life in Monrovia. Loyalty these days is seldom a given among subordinates. [shaking his head.]
Midas: You're one to talk. As if anyone's ever been loyal to me! And, Rafal wanted to ship me with that puffed-up, googly-eyed brother of his? Bleh. What use do I have for him?
[Personally, I'm doubtful about whether Midas would ever admit his feelings openly, given how he can barely tolerate sentimental, Everish customs. Did he have (confirmed or implicit?) feelings for Rafal? I don't think I interpreted his character in the same way as you might've.]
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Which reasons? I don't quite follow what you mean.
Childhood Headcanons
These particular, sort of apocryphal headcanons (depends on who believes what after all) provide further context for the brothers' childhood under the constraints of my canon-divergent fic, "When Lightning Falls," that was proved wrong by canon after the release of Fall.
There's also an accompanying Creation Theory I made up, to provide context for the fic, which becomes especially relevant here.
And, if anyone's wondering, this post has been around for far too long—I just never posted it some while after the fic itself was done. I have a lot of stuff on backlog anyway, and figured I may as well edit and post this.
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Note:
Most of these thoughts focus on Rafal, and there is a slightly dark undercurrent that runs throughout this post.
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First, the brothers were originally foundlings, like in the fairy tales of yore.
Fittingly, they have been the youngest and the oldest beings ever to live at the School, at different points in time.
At first, they led a deathly existence, an insecure, unstable one, with potential death at every turn.
Rafal became used to death threats, and being called "demon spawn." He hardened in response. Ever townspeople tried to ward him off, but their feeble sigils did no good, did no true harm against him and his latent sorcery, even whilst he was still learning magic.
They were found, possibly, doddering around in the Woods, on the outskirts of the School, at somewhere from three to five years old? So, they conveniently have little to no memory of their existence beforehand, as vagrants, outcasts, rejects, waifs, who knows—they were alone in the world.
The twins crashed through the brambles, clothes torn, faces scratched, scrapes on their limbs, drenched by the rain, just... waiting to be taken in like strays, as if they simply... appeared.
Rhian trailed after Rafal who forged a path ahead, until they emerged in the light of a clearing, as if guided by the hand of fate, to the School for Good and Evil.
Shortly after their discovery, they became the youngest students to ever attend the school.
Of course, taking them in was the Good thing to do, but perhaps, if we let conspiracy run rampant, the Storian had a hand in the proceedings.
Oddly enough, the Pen just might have brainwashed all the faculty to come to the unanimous agreement of raising the brothers as their own, among the lot of them. How odd that they agreed for once, the one time in decades that Good and Evil have agreed on any matter.
It was probably done for the greater fate of the Woods, the way they were all swayed by the Storian, nearly unconsciously.
And so, they came to terms with the new status quo because there seemed to be something behind this decision of the Pen's, that was greater than they could ever know, or so they believed.
They accepted it. They didn't question it because it was so obviously the Storian's doing. Controlling their minds that had already been made for them. No chance to decide for themselves.
But, they let the Storian handle it, handed over all control to the Storian. Because, no one, not even the highest ranking sorcerer or fairy godmother of either School, or lord or lady could have taken issue with what the Storian did. No one went against it. No one could. Contradicting it would have been a death wish just waiting to happen.
And they all knew that. They knew that very well, considering the nature of the tales they taught.
Eventually, they came to the common conclusion that these children must have been their future School Masters.
Thus, they took the Storian's apparent decision to heart because it wasn't their place to step in.
No one could overrule the Pen, so they lived with it, and continued to train the mysterious, foundling brothers—while they worried for their lives and all that was to come.
That particular set of faculty became a little like the brothers' parents, until they died off, one by one, each from old age or the occupational hazards of working at such a School.
Their professional lives were demanding and they didn't pay as much attention to the brothers as they should have.
All they could do was follow through and hope the Pen had charted the right course, that it chose well in the end.
Even if they would never live to see the future, they were aware they had played a monumental role in securing safety and balance for the Woods, by acting as these children's first, human influences.
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"When Lightning Falls" takes place around three years after the brothers' arrival, when they're about seven, so they've had time to have grown used to the schools.
Everything has become a bit mundane to them. There's nothing new because it's all they've ever known and grown up with, unlike the incoming students' experience of the manor every four years.
So, they've never been around peers their own age, which led to Rhian feeling special and becoming fragile with no challengers and to Rafal gaining a massive superiority complex.
During those years is when Rafal starts on his skepticism, early in life.
Rafal starts to question the Pen, and ask why of everything and everyone that can possibly answer him, or that would answer him if he persisted and probed enough, and didn't relent. And he threatens his way to the answers, to get his way, to figure out what makes everything in this world of theirs tick.
It's the only way he knows, to bribe or exchange, even unethically, or to beat and to hassle information out of others, to trap them in their own bedchambers or offices and not release them until they answered him or fulfilled his demands.
He learned the word "leverage" early on, and the Evil faculty thought he was a prodigy.
He doesn't know any other way because the Never faculty took him in first, claimed him as one of their own. They took a liking to him and his silence, over his crybaby brother.
Predictably, the Never faculty were rough around the edges and they never showed displays of pleading and begging, so Rafal never did that, even as a child.
He never learned the art of apologizing either. Everyone was remiss to let that pass by... but it was too late.
He refused to resort to such means as begging, to lower himself in that way, like Rhian would, even at such a young age, because he wasn't taught mercy. He was told kindness was a weakness and that justice was right. And so, even as a young child, he maintained an adult-like level of dignity in how he conducted himself, always.
Meanwhile, he'd look on at his brother, and wonder: why is he acting so childishly? Having Evil imposed on him forced Rafal to grow up sooner, before his time.
Evil taught him never to whine and whinge, to never cry to get his way. He could already get his way, by other, more sinister means. Cleverer, more artful, more guileful means besides, and in doing so, he could still feel superior, boosting his ego, inflating it and inflating it as a result.
So, that was what he'd grown up around. It was the natural way of things, to him.
At least, this is how children ought to be treated in his eyes, simple as that. And he turned out fine, didn't he? Of course he did. No question about it. He's him, and he's great. The best. Superior to all others, everyone else in his school.
He probably considered himself the smartest little boy alive, not necessarily the most knowledgeable, but the most clever or capable of outwitting others, of negotiating deals, and plotting schemes and doing other, crooked deeds. He thought himself smart in that artful sense, skilled to the point that he could outfox adults over twice his age, outdoing the teenage students in everything he did.
Oh, and if certain knowledge were established as forbidden? Rafal would still try all the more diligently to go after it. That's how he contended with all things.
And what of Rhian? To Rafal, Rhian was naive. Secretly, Rafal never considered Rhian his match. No way, no how. That brother of his couldn't tell Good from Evil in the simplest of challenges.
The Evil faculty were decently well-meaning, thinking Rafal would be good villain material, but again, they weren't exactly attentive or warm or caring like Good's faculty was in "parenting" Rhian.
They weren't neglectful either, but still, Rafal was left to his own devices outside of lessons, and he grew accustomed to being alone when Rhian wasn't around to play with him. Not that he really played that frequently.
Thus, time passed, and the staff believed the twins to be foundlings. That they were adopted, taken in under their wings. Children of the School.
In reality, the twins were children of the Storian.
Everyone knowingly buys into the lie because they didn't want to think beyond the present. They wanted to believe the brothers were of woman-born, abandoned, and insignificant. But, the truth could only be delayed, not buried.
The brothers are foundlings, they all said, persistently. That's what most of the faculty believed, and that's what the brothers were led to think.
Yet, a select few knew their actual purpose of existence: the brothers were not being trained up to follow the Rules of fairy tales themselves—they were being trained up to rule. (Or rather, "rule" as figureheads for the greater Pen.)
They were bound to the School grounds, and only a few people, none in living memory, knew they belonged to the Storian...
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Any thoughts anyone?
An AU Concept: The myth of Eos and Tithonus but applied to Rafal and Rhian. (Except, it would have to be interpreted platonically, and besides, Tithonius taking the form of a cicada for the rest of his days recalls Rhian in his moth form in my mind.)
I think it would be simultaneously hilarious and angst-ridden, actually. Like, curse the Storian! (The Pen would be cast as Zeus.) Except, in reality, the fault would really lie with Rafal lacking foresight, and the "precision of language" or inexact-requests-from-deities trope, which I'm often fond of.
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Here's a brief reference to the story if anyone needs it:
