I Wish People Who Believe In Narcissistic Abuse And Act Like People With NPD Are So Evil Were Not Even

I wish people who believe in narcissistic abuse and act like people with NPD are so evil were not even human understood that having NPD can absolutely motivate people to do good things.

I have NPD and I work in education. At the school I work at, we have a couple Ukrainian kids who don’t speak English. I have begun learning Ukrainian (or well, trying to, this is my first time trying to learn a language that uses a different alphabet than English so progress is slow), specifically because I want to be the one to make these kiddos feel welcome. I want to be the one teacher who has put in effort to learn their language, rather than just trying to teach them ours. That’s a good thing to do, but if I didn’t have NPD I probably wouldn’t bother to do that and would just use google translate (like all the rest of the teachers).

I, like other narcissists, find that most of my motivation comes from looking for another narc high, and for me, I am much more likely to get a narc high from doing something good and feeling good about myself because I did something good, than I ever would from making someone else feel bad about themself. Why would I spend my time going around hurting other people for no reason when I could put my effort into doing something actually cool and then everyone will think I’m awesome because I actually did something awesome?

I know I’m not the only narcissist like this, but sure, let’s keep spreading the rhetoric that narcissists only exist to hurt people.

healing from someone I thought I would heal with is the most painful thing I've ever done

just because it could be worse, doesn't mean you don't deserve better btw

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i hold nothing but pure rage in me

Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD

Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else

[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.

Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."

Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.

Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."

Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."

Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.

Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."

/end ID]

Ty to @aromanticsky for the id