Silly Quirks Of Stanley Pines (hcs)

Silly Quirks of Stanley Pines (hcs)

No I will not elaborate!

Types on a computer with just his index fingers

Kisses with his eyes open

Can count money really fast

Can play the harmonica, but not very well

Tries to kill flies by punching them in mid air (has never been successful)

Drunk kissed an Elvis impersonator

Owns a custom bowling ball and bowling shoes

Believes premium gasoline is a scam

Accused of forklift certification fraud (guilty)

Still doesn't really know what 'kosher' means (grew up Jewish)

I would still let this man do unspeakable things to me

Stan x Reader Headcanons protective/wants you safe (SFW)

(tw: mentions weapons)

installed a security latch on the door at your place and put wooden dowels in the window tracks

insisted on teaching you how to shoot a rifle and throw a solid punch

checks your car's fluids regularly so you won't break down (even though you told him that you check them yourself)

Had Ford build you a little tazer to carry on walks/hikes (Dipper asked when he's getting his)

gave you his old brass knuckles from when his hands were smaller ("You don't have to use 'em, just flash 'em if someone bothers you")

taught you how to hide objects in your clothes close your body so that they don't show at all (works great for sneaking snacks into the movies)

taught you all the things you legally do/don't have to say if you get pulled over

hi be warned this post is me insane over an old man. ok go

SO…. stanley pines.. i’ve been THINKING.. and like we’ve all seen this image, right?

and EVERYONE always talks about how stan has written smut! which yeah is INSANE but i want yall to look at THAT FIRST POINT. bc GUYS.

GUYS.

that is implying that he has posed erotically, or at LEAST nude! and i feel like the old man fucker nation is seriously missing out on the POSSIBILITIES that creates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc. like. imagine. and be cringe here w me for a sec, if you will, but….. a stan pines x reader where reader was at a yard sale or something and picked up a huge box of old comics, magazines, and etc! she’s going thru them with stan and they’re having a good time, and then WHOOPS! someone hid their saucy mags from like the 80s at the bottom! so now reader and stan are laughing and everything, and then reader pulls out a certain one, and suddenly stan is quiet, and then what do u know? good ol reader turns the page, giggling, and suddenly theres a younger stan posed in front of her on a page, and the good ol stan we know beside her

and i CANNOT stop thinking about this but i also CANNOT write and it is tearing me apart 😭😭😭

Thank you to everyone for blowing up my Stan and Mabel Headcanons post! I never expected to reach 1000 notes on a post, much less within my first week :') I'm probably gonna post a part 2 if I can think of more good ones! I love you all

y’all just— thinking about how excited Stanley must have been to host the twins— Alex says he smokes cigars but he doesn’t smoke once in the show— has a beer gut but he only drinks sodas in front of the kids— doesn’t swear when they’re around which must have taken INCREDIBLE effort— Stanley Pines, known crook, buying pancake mix at the supermarket and many bottles of syrup— learning to cook basic healthy meals and burning so many of them before he gets it right— buying new sheets, new mattresses— avoiding bunk beds because it reminds him of Ford— looking at the attic room he made wondering “is this enough will they like me”— trying to act aloof at the bus stop so he doesn’t betray the fact that he was there hours early— watching them goof around and thinking of New Jersey beaches— then the first night they’re there, he watches them debate running away and only stay because Mabel shook a magic 8 ball. That must have kept him awake all night.

Stan x Reader Headcanons (SFW/Fluff)

I'm a little baby tumblr user and Gravity Falls fan and this is my first post :) I hope you like them

Loves when you cook for him. Has had very few good home cooked meals in his life and considers it a delicacy. Won’t ask you to cook but thanks you every time and tries his best to help when he can. 

Dances with you a lot in the kitchen or on the porch and loves to spin/dip you. He will also give Mabel a turn if she asks.

The type to flick you with the towel or splash water on you while doing the dishes and loves when you do it back. Similarly, you two once got in a water fight with the hose while washing his car. 

Asks for back/head scratches all the time - it’s the only time his body is fully relaxed. His burn scar gets especially itchy.

Will take you up on the roof to stargaze after the kids are asleep. Knows how to find all the constellations - learned star navigation for fun as a kid and used it to pass the time while living in his car. (Finally got to put it to use while sailing with Ford). His favorite constellation is Gemini.

Admitted that he never liked reading (dyslexia) but lets you read aloud to him before bed and gets really invested in the story. 

Can’t sing to save his life but when a romantic song comes on he’ll use a nearby object as a mic and dramatically serenade you.

Says “I love you” as much as he can (to you and the kids, and sometimes even Ford) because for so long he didn’t have anyone to say it to.