Am I Abnormal??? Part 2 Of Me Questioning Life.

Am I abnormal??? part 2 of me questioning life.

So the point of the tittle is am I crazy,wrong, or abnormal to think the way I think. Because it's like I know I want to transition from a feminine body to a more masculine body. Because I know that would help me alot I'm my mind and all that but, I feel as tho I shouldn't seeing as I don't really want to have my pronouns to be masculine. It's like my brain is so fucking confused when it comes to what pronouns I want people to call me by because I don't care what people call me. But in my mind I feel like I should care what people call me and the fact that I don't care is bad. Like I'm gonna be judged for not sticking to the he/him pronouns if I want to transition.

There is also the fact that the feelings I have repressed now will truly come out and that scares me. Because I'm so in the middle with a few things right now its just I know things I'm repressing now will truly come out because I feel like I will feel more true to myself. I know transitioning is not going to"fix me" but I feel as tho it will help open up the door I have been trying to keep locked. A few examples are

I will probably actually start truly dating again because I wouldn't feel like I'm scamming someone or lying to them.

I will actually start enjoying doing more"feminine" things (I try not to do a lot lot things I actually find interesting because I feel as tho that would just play into me being biology female)

I might actually start enjoying life and want to make friends again.

I stopped trying to make friends and talk to people when I got out of a really toxic relationship with my ex boyfriend. It was bad for ALOT of reasons and I mean ALOT. But at the time I was seeing him I just was starting to come to terms with who I was and he would use this and my age to his advantage like he would threaten to tell people about it. He woul tell me he would tell my father seeing as I was living with him at the time. He would say shit like he's the only one who would accept me the way I was and things like that. That no one would want a abnormal freak of nature like me and things like that.

Anyways what I wanted to know and ask is am I crazy,wrongs, or abnormal for thinking like this?

Help me lol

Can someone send me like 30 dollars threw PayPal lol. Jkjk (but if you can let me know 😂😂😂) nah but I need to get money for my birth certificate a I can get a state ID. So I can get a job.😭😭😭

So like does anyone know how I can make a quick $40 my ma and I are short on rent i need it by Friday and I'm stressing myself out. Anyone have any ideas.

I think I help people a bit to much at times.

So I learned a down fall I have. I help people out alot. I don't have alot to give, but when I do I try and help as much as I can. The thing is I noticed when I need help no one is really there for me,and it sucks because I will always be there for them.

A random thing I wrote who know how long ago

Appreciate what you have and not what you don't have. Appreciate that you can see because while you see bad, you also see good, you can see a child laughing when they are enjoying life, you can see the trees blow when a brezze goes by, you can see a dog look up with admiration in there eyes. Appreciate your scent even though it smells shit, you can smell the freshly bloomed flowers on a warm spring day, you can smell cookies freshly baked on a sunny summers day, you can smell the hot chocolate on a cold winter night. Appreciate your hearing even though it hears bad, you can hear the laughter of everyone around, you can hear the birds as they fly up high, you can hear the water as it goes down stream. Appreciate your life even though you go threw hard ships, you smiled once even if it was brief, you laughed once even if it was small, you felt trusted by someone even if it was your pet, you got to experience a peace even if it was brief, you experienced love even if it wasn't by who you wanted. Over time you have to appreciate what you have you have a friend who loves you dearly, you have a pet who sees you as there protecter, you have a relative who feels safe in your arms, you have a movie you can get lost in when watching, you have a story that you can read on repeat, you have a song that pumps you up. You have two legs that help you walk, you have two arms that help you grab, you have two lungs to help you breath at there best ability, you have a heart that beats for only one person and that one person is you. You only have one body, you only have one soul. You have to stop letting other try and take control. Because at the end of the day you the one in control. Your the one who can choose to let someone in or push someone out. Your the one who can choose if you want to listen to what they say or shut them out and ignore there nonsense. Your the one who choses if you want to let them push you over or if you want to stand up and go again. People only have so much control on you and for a short bit of time because at the end of the day your the one with it all.

You didn't have to do that to me😂😂

Favorite Quotes from School 2013 (K-Drama, 2013)

A good drama will only be complete if it has beautiful quotes. So does School 2013.

Episode 1

Everything in life is an experiment. The more you experiment with it, the better it gets. What kids hide and parents don’t know, this is a school. – Narrator

The school system is not that poor. – Go Nam Soon

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Reblogging just incase

! IMPORTANT !

…no joke

i think the fic is somehow taking people’s accounts.

no fucking joke.

someone i was just talking to dmed me the link. they were nice. their account had posts.

now its empty, it has no posts, their header is blank.

DO NOT FUCKING CLICK ON THE FIC LINK. ITS SOMETHING THAT GRABS YOUR PASSWORD. I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS.

I REPEAT. DONT FUCKING. CLICK. ON THE FIC.

RB THIS. RB THIS. RB THIS. RB THIS. RB THIS. RB THIS.