Help My Soul - Tumblr Posts
I think I help people a bit to much at times.
So I learned a down fall I have. I help people out alot. I don't have alot to give, but when I do I try and help as much as I can. The thing is I noticed when I need help no one is really there for me,and it sucks because I will always be there for them.
So like does anyone know how I can make a quick $40 my ma and I are short on rent i need it by Friday and I'm stressing myself out. Anyone have any ideas.
I think I help people a bit to much at times.
So I learned a down fall I have. I help people out alot. I don't have alot to give, but when I do I try and help as much as I can. The thing is I noticed when I need help no one is really there for me,and it sucks because I will always be there for them.
Am I abnormal??? part 2 of me questioning life.
So the point of the tittle is am I crazy,wrong, or abnormal to think the way I think. Because it's like I know I want to transition from a feminine body to a more masculine body. Because I know that would help me alot I'm my mind and all that but, I feel as tho I shouldn't seeing as I don't really want to have my pronouns to be masculine. It's like my brain is so fucking confused when it comes to what pronouns I want people to call me by because I don't care what people call me. But in my mind I feel like I should care what people call me and the fact that I don't care is bad. Like I'm gonna be judged for not sticking to the he/him pronouns if I want to transition.
There is also the fact that the feelings I have repressed now will truly come out and that scares me. Because I'm so in the middle with a few things right now its just I know things I'm repressing now will truly come out because I feel like I will feel more true to myself. I know transitioning is not going to"fix me" but I feel as tho it will help open up the door I have been trying to keep locked. A few examples are
I will probably actually start truly dating again because I wouldn't feel like I'm scamming someone or lying to them.
I will actually start enjoying doing more"feminine" things (I try not to do a lot lot things I actually find interesting because I feel as tho that would just play into me being biology female)
I might actually start enjoying life and want to make friends again.
I stopped trying to make friends and talk to people when I got out of a really toxic relationship with my ex boyfriend. It was bad for ALOT of reasons and I mean ALOT. But at the time I was seeing him I just was starting to come to terms with who I was and he would use this and my age to his advantage like he would threaten to tell people about it. He woul tell me he would tell my father seeing as I was living with him at the time. He would say shit like he's the only one who would accept me the way I was and things like that. That no one would want a abnormal freak of nature like me and things like that.
Anyways what I wanted to know and ask is am I crazy,wrongs, or abnormal for thinking like this?