Loud-and-clear-524 - 524

apprentice (i always enjoyed their repoire, i think they would make great allies. khyber holds more respect for ben than a lot of his friends do)

Crossroads

When I die, I will go to the crossroads. An infinite amount of paths layered out before me. Looking back the way I came from no longer exists. A guide approaches me and states in a remorseful tone: “Child, you can never proceed, you do not belong in any of these places”. I sit down and eternity passes in solitude.

that was unhinged, let me contextualise. I only had twenty minutes in my break to cry and clean up, but I did it faster. Nice

Crying any% sub 10 minutes let’s gooooo

Void

I was born empty, devoid of humanity. In life I learnt to build a shell around the void in pretty colours and nice shapes, a facade to hide the emptiness in my soul.

But that shell, it never fits quite right, it's always wrong, there's a shape it's supposed to be, a way it's supposed to look like, but I do not know what that would be. So I keep crafting, painting, changing, never happy with it.

there was a long period in my life where I was habitually constantly thinking up explanations and justifications for every thing I did, as though preparing all the time to be interrogated for it. not sure exactly when I stopped. probably "not being in an abusive environment" went a long way.

anyway bits of the habit still leak out on occasion, and I've found that entitlement thing a very helpful counter. like I'll catch myself building a detailed explanation of my purchases at the supermarket or some shit, and I'll be like, "wait a minute, why the fuck am I trying to justify this I can buy whatever I want!" and move on