Music Time

Music time

I wanna talk about music too, it's intensely important to me. Let's start with the name-sake of this blog.

Lovely Lovely Little Lie by SUPER NH

The way this one makes me feel is difficult to put into words. On the one hand it speaks to the emotions of losing something important, the aimless anger, the sadness, the guilt, but in a much more complicated way it speaks to me about loneliness, screaming and nobody hearing. Just trying so hard to be heard that you exhaust yourself, putting on a facade to garner at least some attention, then trying to show your real self and being alone again.

Obligatory post, cause I haven’t felt like paying anything in a bit.

I’m insanely easy to irritate, because I finally figured out what I wanna do after finishing my apprenticeship, which is to study a very specific thing, but I get absolutely zero support when I talk about this to anyone. Like thanks dad for immediately pivoting to hours I need to work more.

Aside from that I’m thinking of doing something like a coffee diet, but possibly with juice also, cause I crave taste in my mouth. My oral fixation is really biting me on this stuff

Crossroads

When I die, I will go to the crossroads. An infinite amount of paths layered out before me. Looking back the way I came from no longer exists. A guide approaches me and states in a remorseful tone: “Child, you can never proceed, you do not belong in any of these places”. I sit down and eternity passes in solitude.

Emotions

I do not believe that I have a full set of emotions. I have anger, loneliness, and fear. When I’m not angered, I say that I am calm, without knowing what actual calm feels like. When I’m not lonely, I call that love, without knowing what love means. When I’m not afraid, I say that I’m content, without ever feeling relief.

that was unhinged, let me contextualise. I only had twenty minutes in my break to cry and clean up, but I did it faster. Nice

Crying any% sub 10 minutes let’s gooooo