Lysealct - Ly - Tumblr Blog

To anyone reading this I have no ideas what am I doing with my life. I want this to end. I want everything to stop.

Anyone knows how to figured out your life?

Cause I'm in college I have no ideas what I'm doing, I don't even know why I get to college, I hate it.

I have no ideas what job I wanna do in my life, I'm so lost, I don't even know who I am anymore.

But like I feel like I can't give up on college cause of money and I would feel like a failure and I didn't know if I could like others degrees in the future unstead of the one I'm doing.

I'm French so it might be different from your perspective but damn college in France is worth nothing. I can't barely go there I already make full panics attack and a tetany attack and I'm under meds but I feel like it's never gonna get better.

It's not that I don't wanna work and go to college. I wanna learn things, I wanna learn so many languages and travel and see more of the world then all of this but I have to much pressure and I'm poor. But I don't wanna go to college for 5 years then ended up having a miserable job and being paid as if my degree is worth nothing.

I don't wanna stay there, I wanna move as far away from my hometown as possible. I can't be there anymore but I feel like with my anxiety that I will never be able to do anything.

Any advices in general to help me,I'm kinda desperate. From people who are older, does it get better?

I miss bts):

I am afraid of getting older. I am afraid of getting married. Spare me from cooking three meals a day--spare me from the relentless cage of routine and rote. I want to be free. I want, I think, to be omniscient.

Sylvia Plath, Letters Home

I don't want much, I just want to learn how to enjoy life, even in the hardest moments.

People empty me. I have to get away to refill.

Charles Bukowski

I spend so much time lost in my mind that I end up forgetting to live.

10/03/2023

I wish you would like me the way you like yourself,

I wish you could have protected me from this cruel world,

I wish you cared about me for who I am not for my blood,

I wish you would make me feel safe in your arms while it all turns dark.

I dream of the person I would be if you never treated me this way,

I dream of healing myself and wiping my own tears through the night,

I dream of feeling at peace with my mind and myself,

I dream of that freedom and loneliness that consume me and bring me back to life.

Why I am so different from others perspectives?

Why would you look at me this way?

Why would you yell at me?

Why do I feel like nobody daughter's?

My mind is chaos, and your voice pierces me like the yelling of the demons,

The demons that slowly consumed me and take every part of me that I dream of.

Ly☆

Credits to the writer (me)

Hi, so this is my first post and I'm not in a really good period of my life and I'm kinda lost. So I decided to post a few things I wrote from my thoughts and personal experiences. Sorry English isn't my first language(:

Please tell me the thoughts about this one and If I should write more on here♡