Anxitey - Tumblr Posts
the feminine urge to be the only girl he talks to
I made two grown up phone calls today...... And it's not even 10:30am yet so what I'm saying is you got this
Sad
Hey guys. I’m going through the word spell of depression I’ve ever had. I think it’s causing me more issues than normal and that’s causing me to stress even more. I’ve taken a break from writing for now until I feel better. I’ve been trying to work on another project but even then I can’t seem to muster up the strength to finish it :(
Thanks for such advice. During my depression and anxiety periods in the past, I was watching some films and reading books and it totally saved me from suicide.
I really recommend those things, they are really helpful, even though I rarely have anxiety periods right now.
Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety
A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.
This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.
You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.
People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.
In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture.
Therefore, I present to you:
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS
–Go on a walk
–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.
–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching
–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind
–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift
–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:
–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.
–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see.
–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in.
–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.)
–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety.
–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel.
–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:
–List the capitals of all the U.S. states
–List the capitals of all the European countries
–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors.
–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.
–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.
Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself. I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too.
(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)
Every time I eat fish and my stomach hurts after I convince myself I've caught a deadly parasite and I'm going to die
This is so true. No one ever knows how I'm feeling fully.
“You don’t see me crying at night, you don’t know what I’m feeling inside. It’s amazing what a smile can hide.”
— Unknown
I'm not sure how much longer I am going to stick around if I'm no longer enough and can't give a single person what they want. I think I'm just going to say goodbye and see where life takes me or where my depression takes me. One or the other.
Sorry if I'm not good enough. Sorry if I can't give you what you want. Sorry for everything
I got broken up with like..a week ago? A month? Atm it feels like yesterday.
There's a lot of layers of suck to this situation.
The reason things broke off was because im not the best and regulating my emotions. I have moderate to severe depression and anxiety. A lot of hatred and anger towards myself. I'm probably bipolar and a laundry list of other terms to say "im manic and that makes 'normal' functioning hard".
That being said, it was fully a good desicion on her part.
And ive been handling all this really well all things considered. We had a very emotional evening, then i found purchase in focusing on myself creativly. I became more aware of my anger than i ever have, and dispite the fact that it was directed inward, how that can still effect those i care about. Other relationships have strengthened i suppose. Ive become noticably more stoic.
But there's a few feelings i cant shake. An awareness that i haven't fully processed the loss of that relationship. An irrational anger that im handling this healthily? A tightness.
I want to scream for hours. Sob into her chest for days. She was so fucking good for me, and i fucked it up, because i wasnt good for her. Wrong time, wrong place i suppose.
A voice in me wants to self destruct. Just say fuck it, get wasted just to hurt myself. To validate the part of me that tells me im trash whenever it gets the chance.
And now, i have to go to work. At least that makes dissociating come naturally.
If anyone reads this, and you have someone who loves you, truly. Hold them. Hold them as tight and as long as you can. Because one day you may have to let go.
Does anyone else feel like their life is a shitty fanfic where the author is just hell-bent on traumatizing them.
Did this for fun a while ago.
Tag urself, I’m top middle.
Despite how long I've worked in customer service it will always be the most stressful event of my life as a customer
i hate leaving the house ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི
“Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man's desire to understand.” ♱ ྀིྀ
Being anxious is sexy until your health starts to leave the chat
