"You Can Choose To See That Tattoo As Your Greatest Failure. But I See It As Proof That You're A Survivor.

"You can choose to see that tattoo as your greatest failure. But I see it as proof that you're a survivor. It wasn't your day of death, Officer Chen. It was the first day, of the rest of your life. And no one can take that away from you."

I wonder if they’re going to use any hospital video footage to figure things out.

I work in the hospital and have had the sad experience of reviewing footage with the police in the past when a patient’s mom threatened my life.

That could be part of the solid evidence they need to convict Monica. I know they don’t have cameras everywhere, but they often do in hallways…

I’m thinking about writing a quickie fic about Mother’s Day. But it would be directed more toward those who have a hard time with Mother’s Day - women without great mothers, whose mothers have died, who are struggling with fertility, etc. It would still be a Chenford/The Rookie fic.

Any interest in a story like that?

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT…

I just realized something. Kojo came to the door just a minute after Lucy entered her apartment. That means Tim and Kojo were probably already there just waiting for her to show up. Somehow that makes that scene soooo much more sweet to me.

One thing I'm noticing in some of the fandom reactions to this breakup and the aftermath is that the characters have been put on a pedestal and are being judged against some pretty unrealistic standards. They get raked over the coals for every single mistake. I've seen it with both characters but recently I've seen it the most with Tim.

Don't get me wrong, in no way am I condoning his current behavior. He's made multiple mistakes and he's broken Lucy's trust and her heart. He absolutely needs to be held accountable for all of these things and he owes her an apology and that adult conversation and a whole lot more if they're gonna be able to be together again.

But what he's doing right now, his imperfect actions as he navigates this period of his life... it's very human. This is a man who is at rock bottom, and when you're drowning in the weight of your own trauma like he is, you often don't have the strength to see beyond that and understand how your actions are impacting the people around you. He's not being cruel (which, by the way, implies intentionality to one's actions) by breaking up with her or denying her that conversation. He's drowning.

He truly can't see that she's *not* better off without him. He can't see how much he's hurt her, and that he continues to hurt her with his actions. I don't even think he could answer her questions right now about why he did what he did, because he doesn't fully understand it himself. He can't see anything beyond his own lack of self-worth. Right now, expecting him to be able to fully comprehend what he's done and why is completely unrealistic.

Now, does this excuse his behavior? Absolutely not. But it does explain it.

And the thing that's bothering me the most is the posts saying Tim doesn't deserve Lucy's forgiveness. This is a man who has completely fallen apart but is finally taking the first steps toward healing. Shouldn't he be given a chance at redemption before being written off as unforgivable? And shouldn't Lucy be the one to decide whether to forgive him?

Again, I'm not defending his actions. He has a lot of work to do on himself and he has a lot of work to do to gain back Lucy's trust. It's not going to be easy. But to say he doesn't deserve forgiveness without even giving him a chance? That's pretty harsh. He doesn't deserve to spend the rest of his life being defined by his worst moments. No one does.

My stories seem to stay on repeat in my head until I write them down. So while writing takes TIME, it’s worth it to see the stories come to life and to have them out of my head. (And maybe I get to pass them to other people’s heads… maybe)

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol