Mamba052 - It's Mamba! - Tumblr Blog

I feel a little bad for the AO3 volounters, trying to keep bbygirl up and kicking for the last few days. Friendly reminder for everyone to thank the people taking care of ao3 and making sure we get our serotonin back whenever ao3 decides to crash. They're doing the fandoms big favours. ❤️

WHAT DO YOU MEAN AO3 IS ACTUALLY DOWN I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST MY WORK INTERNET BEIKG A BITCH FOR NO REASON

Whenever ao3 doesn't load as fast as ussual I have to quickly switch the window on my browser, so I can seetle what the proper emotional response is.

If the new window is slow to open, I know to react in fury and screaming as my forever mortal enemy, slow internet, have once again struck and created a rift beetwen me and my lover, the fair maiden ao3.

If the new window does open, I know to react in despair, as my loyal knight, protector of mental ilness and bringer of happiness, ao3, has once again left for war, with no information on when she will return

Whenever ao3 doesn't load as fast as ussual I have to quickly switch the window on my browser, so I can seetle what the proper emotional response is.

If the new window is slow to open, I know to react in fury and screaming as my forever mortal enemy, slow internet, have once again struck and created a rift beetwen me and my lover, the fair maiden ao3.

If the new window does open, I know to react in despair, as my loyal knight, protector of mental ilness and bringer of happiness, ao3, has once again left for war, with no information on when she will return

“You never pretended to be a bride when you were a little girl?” No???? Like literally never?

Anyone who's ever chewed the same gum for 3+ hours will know that Violet Beauregarde is a con artist doing her best work, because gum start to disintegrate in your mouth if you chew it to long.

"Oh, I've been chewing this piece for 2 weeks" no girl, you have not, I know you keep a packet of gum somwhere on your body and I will find it and I will end your reign of terror

THE ANTCRIST HAS BEEN THE DEFEATED AND THE HORSEMEN HAVE BEEN SLAYIN, AO3 IS BACK BABY

This feels like a sign of the apocalypse. One more day of maintenace and the four horsemen will show up, mark my word.

This feels like a sign of the apocalypse. One more day of maintenace and the four horsemen will show up, mark my word.

Otter Peter Lukas is such a good take ngl

I only just found out today that people picture Peter Lukas as this large strong sailor man with long grey curls and a beard. This whole time I’ve been seeing him as a triangle shaped brunette. Like Elias but less Twinkie and w no moustache.

In my mind, Peter Lukas is the bear to Eliases Twink

I only just found out today that people picture Peter Lukas as this large strong sailor man with long grey curls and a beard. This whole time I’ve been seeing him as a triangle shaped brunette. Like Elias but less Twinkie and w no moustache.

Have you considerd the fact that anything that followed right after "lost John's cave" would seem relativly tame when compared?

Like, I agree that "arachnophobia" is one of the less scary episodes, but I feel like I can name like, two maybe three statment that even come close to comparing to the fear and dread I feel when hearing "take her, not me" in that desperate tone, honestly makes me scared even thinking about it.

So what I'm saying is be nice to the spiders their trying their best okay? :(

I’m listening to tma for the first time and it’s crazy how the most horrifying episode (lost john’s cave) is followed by the most comically unscary episode (arachnophobia)

What's that supposed too mean tumblr?

Current progress on a beholding painting I'm making, because I graduated from highschool 3 days ago and have two weeks vacation before I begin work, which means the adult thing to do is stay up late and make a painting dedicated to a fear god.

Me: Well, that was officialy my last day of classes before I get my degree and graduate. Man, time moves quickly doesn't it?

My dad who came to pick me up: yeah yeah, welcome to unemployment, can you mow the lawn tomorow?

Me: *snort of laughter* yeah dad, I'll mow the lawn, no worries

A "The Hobbit" fic where the dwarfes are confused about wheater Bilbo is a male of female hobbit and all the shenanigans that come with that. 

Like, think about it.

We know that male and female dwarves look very similar, too the point where female dwarves disguise themselves while on the road, to avoid attracting attention of big folk. None of the thirteen dwafves have, as far as we know, ever seen a hobbit, and it's probable that they have no idea if there is any differences between how male and female hobbits act or look. 

In neither dwarven nor elven society do there seem to be any social differences between male and female. Both male and female can become any profession, hold any position, have free will to do what they desire. Of course, dwarowwdams are held in higher regard because female dwarves are rarer then male dwarves, but that seems to be the main difference between genders

So, when the thirteen dwarves are told about a hobbit by Gandalf, a male hobbit that lives in the shire, all of them assume that it must be a male hobbit. But then they show up to the bag end, and are meet with a tiny little person. 

and all of a sudden they aren't so sure. 

None of them have any knowledge on Hobbit society, nor of any differences between genders. The only thing they can go off, is the fact that the shire is near Bree. Bree, a settlement for the race of men. The race of men, which is known to have show some obvious differences between men and women, social and physical. This is something that they would all be aware of, living as nomads after Erebour and making trade with men.  

And so, the dwarves are introduced to a tiny person, that: 

- Cooks and bakes

- Keeps a strict personal hygien

- Complains about the rest of the companies personal hygien

- Gardens

- Has never traveled far, with or without an escort

- Is easily frightened by small criters and does not like getting dirty

- Moans about the state of his clothes and washing.

- Seems INCREASINGLY fragile

- does not know how to handle a weapon

- does not know how to fight in any kind 

- Fusses over the state of his kitchen, cutlery and his plates

- Fusses over the ponies and gives them extra treats

- Picks flowers, herbs and nuts by the side of the road

- Does not have nor seem to grow a beard

- Gossips about the other hobbits (in Particular a female relative) 

- Doilies

All things that seems to, at least by the standards of men, indicate a more feminine person. 

And so, by the end of the first week many in the company come to the conclusion that, much like many dwarrodams, Master Baggins is a female hobbit disgused as male.

It makes sense after all. It is well known that men treat their women folk differently from dwarves and elves, where everything is mostly equal. Bilbo, as the sole child of his parents would need to hide him being female, assuming hobbits followed similar rules and standards as the men they live neighbors with. It would be the only way for him to continue living like he was, considering his parents where dead and he was sole heir to them both. 

So, it just makes sense that Bilbo would be a female hobbit in disguise. 

None of the dwarves make any mentions of this fact. It would be rude to do so, and could endanger the hobbit in the long run. So no mention is made of it. Until Rivendell that is. 

For it isn't until Rivendel, when it comes up in a conversation between Fili and Kili. The two brothers sit and discuss the company, and when Bilbo comes up, Kili asks Fili whether he thinks Bilbo will ever reveal to the company that she is female. 

Fili looks at his brother surprised, before inquiring what he's on about. 

And after the two brothers run around talking too the rest of the company (excluding Bilbo and Gandalf), it comes to attention that around half the company has come to Kili conclusion (Bilbo is female disguised as Male) and the other half think similar to Fili (Bilbo is just male). 

And so, multiple bets are made, and multiple plans are put into place to figure out the mystery of the gender of Bilbo. 

None of them comes right out and asks. No matter what turns out to be true, it would be considerably rude to just ASK Bilbo something like this. 

Instead, multiple plans are put into place to try and figure it all out. including, but not limited to: 

- Checking if Bilbo grows a beard at any point

- ask Oin if he knows. The healer wacks whoever asks with his trumpet, stating patient-healer confidentiality. (In reality, Oin has just as little an idea as the rest of them) 

- Ask Gandalf, who never answers, but laughs until they are sure he's going to pass out from lack of oxygen. 

- Ask Bilbo about the shire, which doesn't reveal any further information, other than the dwarves learning who to avoid if they ever go to the shire (some lass named Lobelia is put high on the list of "avoid at all cost") 

- See if Bilbo has the *cough* right assets (an idea that is immediately scraped, no matter how much money is now in the bettingpool. None of the dwarves want to break Bilbos trust nor make him uncomfortable in any way, so the idea never go anywhere other than hypothetical) 

- See if they can get Bilbo to bath at the same time in a river they pass (no success) 

In the end, none of them actually ever find out on the quest the mysterious gender of Bilbo Baggins. 

I think it can end in a couple of ways, depending on what you like. 

1. The Thilbo ending 

As this entire plot is happening, Thorin is just as confused as any of them about the true gender of the hobbit, a fact that distresses him more and more the farther they go on their journey. espesially when he comes to the realisation that he has become quite infatuated with the hobbit. 

Bilbo and Thorin confess to each other during the battle, and shares eachother company for the first time soon after (everyone lives, nobody dies alright?). The next day Thorin walks up to Nori, the keeper of the bet, and simply states "Male" before walking of red in the face. Nori laughs his ass of, and properly distributes the earnings to all the winners. 

The hole ordeal is forgotten about, and no mention is made to Bilbo until years later. After Bilbo finds out Thorin has to sleep in his office for a week. 

2. They never find out

It's like it says, none of the Dwarves ever figure out the truth, but none of them really care that much and it doesn't really affect any of them, so none of them are really bothered other than being curious from time to time. 

This could end similairly with Bilbo finding out about the hole ordeal years later, after which he gives the company the cold shoulder for a couple of days. But he never tells them what the truth is, and none of them ever find out. 

3. Someone else asks. 

Someone not apart of the company straight up asks Bilbo the question they are all wondering. The company quickly comes to Bilbos defense, ready to defend his honor. Instead Bilbo simply shrugs, and answer, simply giving no fucks. 

The company feels very baffled (and stupid)

It's interesting how when you rewatch 'Revenge of the Sith,' you realize that all of the little anti-jedi lines the fandom has parroted (and still parrots) for years comes straight out of the mouth of Sidious.

Like I know I'm not the first person to realize this OR even mention it, but I just always find it interesting.

hey fellow Europeans (EU), just a friendly and mildly concerned reminder that in less than a month, the European elections are taking place. it's an election with a historically low turnout, but one that is just as important as any other, if not more. the composition of the EU parliament determines the political direction of the EU, and has an impact on all 27 countries through directives and regulations that get voted.

we cannot let far right extremist parties get an even bigger stronghold there than they already do. sadly, there are very significant threats of exactly that happening from many countries.

so please, if you are an EU citizen living in the EU and are of voting age, check the modalities to vote in your country of residence, and make sure to make your voice heard.