On The Oustide, I Might Appear Calm

on the oustide, i might appear calm

on the inside, i am screaming at the top of my lungs abt songxuexiao

i am so tired but i said i'd finish the dumb lineart for my silly sword o(-(

i see these two next to each other and i go crazy

i present to you; the stupids

(whenever i refer to them as dumb, stupid or idiots, what i rly mean is that Xue Yang is the dumb, stupid and the idiot)

i love them so much

Warning: TGCF major spoilers, Mu Qing meta, if anyone else has already said this, I haven't seen it so feel free to let me know if I'm inadvertently stepping on anyone's toes

Oookay, so, I'm obviously on an MXTX kick lately, and in my pursuit of all things hers, I was rewatching the Heaven Official's Blessing donghua, and it got to the part where Mu Qing lost his shit at being forgotten by Xie Lian, and in every version, that part is kinda played for laughs with the underlying knowledge of returning readers of how much that hurt Mu Qing's feelings AND pride, right? And until this rewatch, I thought that's all it was, just one isolated moment that served to introduce the complicated emotional dynamic between Xie Lian and Mu Qing, but do you remember how Fu Yao (aka Mu Qing in disguise) disappeared right after the Wind Master swept them all up out of the Sinner's Pit and everyone was just like, "Oh, he was embarrassed about getting the answers wrong"? When they were in the pit and Fu Yao was arguing with Xie Lian, he asked, "How could you not remember all this stuff?" And DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT XIE LIAN SAID??? He basically said, "Rather than remembering getting beaten and trampled a few hundred years ago, I would prefer to remember the tasty meat buns I had yesterday." AND WHEN THEY FIRST MET, HE HAD FORGOTTEN MU QING. Mu Qing hurt Xie Lian so badly that his entire person got relegated in XL's mind to the "Pain, Trauma, Do Not Open" category, and at that moment, in the Sinner's Pit, Mu Qing had to realize it, to come face to face with the fact that he had hurt Xie Lian so badly that he had been deemed as Too Painful, Better Left Forgotten. NO WONDER he disappeared immediately after, Mu Qing was having to come to grips with the fact that his actions with the 33 officials had so fuckin wrecked Xie Lian that he had become a locked up traumatic memory to the one person he wanted to be close to the most, like holy fuckin shit, I can't even...

And, I mean, maybe MXTX didn't intend that, but if not, I don't understand why Mu Qing would just disappear when he had actively witnessed the case and participated in the capture of the culprits. Not to be that bitch, but claiming credit and accolade is MQ's entire jam and he was technically the one who apprehended Ke Mo, so I can't imagine him just running off because he was embarrassed, but if he just came face to face with the fact that he had literally become one of Xie Lian's worst memories and that XL had literally forced himself to forget Mu Qing to spare himself the agony??? Like, holy shit. Anyway, I love Mu Qing, he's one of my favorite characters, but hoo, buddy, he needed to know that.