I Just Read Jerry And Hedwig Reacting To Us Bleeding On The Sheets What About The Guys Specifically Silas

I just read Jerry and Hedwig reacting to us bleeding on the sheets what about the guys👀 specifically silas (cause my daddy issues run wild for him)😩

Silas, Dr Kry & King Edmund drabbles: bleeding through at a "sleepover" (or in their house)

The girls reaction male!yanderes (mob boss, doctor & king) x fem!reader Warnings?: sexual indication, disgusted by blood, yandere

Silas:

You're on a mission with him, staying in a house belonging to the second in command. Being the boss’s little darling has its benefits — especially in these situations. If you hadn't been his, chances are that you would get killed for ruining someone's sheets.

"Silas", you whisper while shaking him carefully. "Please, wake up. Oh, God, please wake up ..."

He grunts and opens his dark eyes, looking around confusedly before fixating his eyes on you. He freezes.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asks raspily and grabs your arm.

"I bled through ...", you whisper weakly, body full pf panic. "I didn't know, I wasn't supposed to start now!"

Silas removes the cover to look at the stain. He doesn't say anything as he removes them all before picking up his phone to call one of his most trustworthy men.

"Don't worry about it, baby", he says tiredly. "I'll fix this."

"Will your second in command get mad?" you ask hesitantly.

"He won't. He knows better." Silas holds the phone to his ear. "I need you to bring me new sheets and to send someone to buy whatever Y/N tells you to get. Here Y/N."

He gives you the phone. You tell the man on the other side what you need. He replies politely, knowing better than to talk informally to you. Silas stands by, watching carefully and rubbing your back.

As soon as you get what you need, you get out of your bottom clothes and change. Silas sits down in bed with you in his lap. He brings his legs up to trap you in his embrace. His rough hands sneak under your shirt to massage your aching stomach.

"You know ...", he whispers in your ear, hand traveling lower. "Exercise helps with cramps ... I know something that is a great form of exercise. Want me to show you?"

You grab his hand, moving it back to your stomach.

"Come on", he smirks against your jaw. "You'd like it."

"I'll kick your nuts if you continue talking", you warn him.

Silas chuckles and pulls the blankets higher, kissing your forehead.

"Women and their temperament", he grins and softens his face. "Guess I have to wait then. Why don't you try going to sleep, little thing? It's late."

"Are you sure your second in command won't be mad?" you ask carefully.

"If he even dares to snarl at you, I'll stain his sheets with his blood instead." Silas kisses your lips with a reassuring smile. "You have nothing to be worried about, little thing, I've always got your back."

Dr Kry:

He has installed a baby monitor, just a week prior, to being able to supervise you 24/7. He wakes up by hearing shuffling from the machine and takes a look to see you grabbing all of your sheets in your arms. Dr Kry frowns. Are you going to sleep on the floor again? You have such weird ideas to entertain yourself. But the look of sheer guilt and horror paints your face, knocking those thoughts out of his head. Dr Kry hurries to grab his silk robe and hurry up to your room.

You're currently washing them in the bathtub. You freeze when you hear him unlock the door and enter the room.

"Where are you?" he asks.

"Here", you reply quietly, watching how he enters the bathroom.

Dr Kry crouches down beside you on the floor, putting his hand on your shoulder. He glances between the sheets and your face.

"What happened?" he asks.

"I-I bled through", you say. "I'm so sorry, doctor, I will fix it-"

"No, you're not." Dr Kry grabs your arm and pulls you up in your feet. "I'll fix it. You're not well, you shouldn't do this."

You feel bad. Dr Kry works long shifts and during his only rest, you've forced him up to clean up the mess you've caused.

"Y/N, it's fine", the doctor reassures you and walks over to give you a short hug. "Things like this happens. You should look at it from another angle — you can be pregnant. You're fertile. Alright? That's a good thing. A very good thing."

He's secretly glad that his poisoning hasn't affected your reproduction organs. You need them. He wants you to have them. Dr Kry wants nothing more than to have children with you.

"Let's stop crying and realize that this isn't a big thing, okay?" he says and wipes your tears. "You don't have to be ashamed. I've watched much, much worse things."

"Like what?" you ask quietly.

Dr Kry smiles teasingly. "I've seen people spill urine samples on themselves, have had people using the rear temperature stick for a patients mouth, and whatnot. This is nothing. It's natural, nothing to be ashamed of."

You try not to smile. "Did someone really use the wrong temperature stick?"

Dr Kry grins and nods, happy to see you a bit calmer.

"Let's get you some painkillers now so you can go rest", he says and puts his hand on your back to guide you. "I'll change the sheets, and you can just sit by, okay? Everything you need is in the bathroom."

He sits with you until the cramps stop, and decide to stay in the room with you while you sleep, just in case you would wake up again. He smiles slightly for himself. The poisioned air hasn't ruined your chances of ferility, he couldn't be more greateful.

King Edmund

You're terrified of telling him. Edmund is the type to believe that you can hold it in. With absolutely zero knowledge about females, risk is that he will get mad at you for ruining his expensive sheets instead of understanding. You know that he buys them from special places. One of a kind.

Edmund has never been taught how women work, it has been taboo and unnecessary for him, as a king, to learn. The only thing he knows is that a woman bleeds once a month, and that is it. Nothing more. He doesn't know how it works or why it happens.

But you can't stop the maid from telling him. He comes walking from his office with a deep frown on his face. You're dead. Before sending the maids out, he walks over to the bed and inspects the damage. When the girls are gone and the door is closed, he turns to you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks.

"I thought that you would get mad", you admit quietly. "It's your expensive sheets ..."

"And you think that it'll help the situation by sending one of the maids to tell me, instead of telling me yourself?"

"I didn't send her. I didn't want you to know ... at all."

"Why?"

"I told you ... I was scared that you'd get mad. You'd have told me to keep it in."

He groans, hiding his face in his hands. "For fucks sake, Y/N!" He removes his hands. "Why in the living Hell would I care more about about a pair of sheets rather than my own wife?"

You don't answer. Edmund walks over and grabs your shoulders before pulling you into a hug.

"You underestimate me, my jewel", he mutters and kisses your temple. "Now, go take a bath."

He tells a maid to fill the tub with scalding hot water to soothe your cramps and tells another maid to change the sheets.

"Burn the sheets and the night gown", he tells the maid. "I don't want anyone unworthy to see my queen's blood, got it?"

And the maid nods quickly before running off.

While you sit in the steaming tub, Edmund sits on the floor beside it, keeping you company. He should be doing work, but instead he's here, with you.

"I'm sorry about your sheets", you sigh and lean against the tub. "I know that they're expensive."

"Shut up about those fucking sheets now", Edmund groans and caresses your cheek. "I have enough to buy a hundred more sheets. I could buy the entire world, if I wanted to. A few sheets are nothing for me."

He leans over to kiss your wet forehead.

"Are you disgusted?" you ask carefully.

"A bit ... but not as much as I thought I'd be", Edmund replies with a grimace. "I'm more concerned about you, to be honest. Seeing you bleed, in any way, makes my heart sink in a disgusting way. I'm just angry I don't have anyone to blame for your pain."

You try to joke. "Blame my parents for making me a girl."

But he looks deadly serious. "No, never. They made you ... my wife and queen. I could never blame them for giving you this pain." He sighs and taking your hand. "If there is anything i can do to take the pain away, tell me. Teach me."

"Well, you actually had this right, the warm water. It helps."

"Anything else?"

"Sugar. Just for the hormones."

Edmund nods, thinking. He shouts for a maid to tell the kitchen staff to make cakes. He then turns back to you and smiles proudly. Maybe he isn't as bad as you thought?

The bonus part got me giggling

i woke up in my blind date’s basement. (not clickbait!!!)

loser! yandere x willing! gn! reader

cw — kidnapping, slight nsfw, obsessive thoughts !!

heyheyyyyy a small fic of a loser yan and a willing reader eeee !! writing practice buuuut if enough people like this, i’ll write more lil snippets of their life together so pls do lmk what u wanna see thru comments ,, always appreciated dearly <33

when you wake up, you realise you're in an unfamiliar room - if it can even be called one, due to its ridiculously tiny size, and unappealing state.

it's clear from the empty bottles of bleach that someone tried to tidy up, but something dark red stains the walls, leaving a coppery tinge to the stifling air.

"oh, you're awake!" the man to your left - who, you realise instantly, is your blind date from last night - grins.

its an off putting sight, the sheer happiness on his face, and the way you can see the bright gleam in his brown eyes even behind those glasses, and beyond the overgrown bangs.

"i, er, i was watching you sleep. sorry, old habits die hard, y'know? and you just look so fucking beautiful, with that birth mark and those—"

"ahhhh, sorry."

he catches his breath and apologises again, "i'm rambling again, aren't i? i tend to do that when it comes to you. only time i talk, really."

he's sitting cross legged besides your mattress with his hands in his lap. when he notices you staring, he awkwardly averts his gaze for a moment, wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans and leaves them with dark patches staining the fabric. "well, uh, did you sleep well, darling? i know an old mattress in the basement isn't ideal but—"

you try to speak, to tell him that yeah, accommodation wasn’t exactly ideal - but the words come out muffled.

"ah, i'm so sorry, my love!" he exclaims, the few pale patches on his own, darker skin, flushing a soft pink shade as he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, "you can't really say anything, can you? sorry, again. i didn't think you'd agree to go out with me. had to ditch the plan and — oh, i'm rambling again, aren't i?"

"please tell me if i talk too much, i don't want to annoy you. i mean, i know you're not a morning person, but it's, like, four in the morning - isn't that funny?" when you make no indication of having found his words humorous, he wordlessly reaches over for the sock that's currently been stuffed into your mouth, flashes you another apologetic smile, and takes it out.

you instantly double over and spit the flavour - the strange, stifling taste of the sock out of your mouth.

your captor makes no move to undo the rope that binds your arms and legs behind your back, before he leans back, settling into his position besides you again, an expectant expression on his face. you don’t ask him to, yet, choosing only to examine him from head to toe.

he looks good. seems to have changed from the clothes he was wearing last night, during your blind date. you know he did his research beforehand, know he must be desperate to please, because everything he’s done - from the clothes he put on, to how he smells, and the accessories he dons, is all catered to your exact preferences. it’s hard not to find the effort endearing.

and then you remember where you are.

a moment of silence passes by before he clears his throat, the awkward sound echoing in the dingy basement. "morning, my darling. before you panic, i absolutely—"

"okay," you interrupt him, patience running thin, "first of all, why was that sock crusty, and second of all, what the fuck is going on right now?"

he doesn't seem put off by the venom in your tone, instead continuing with his words as if you hadn't spoken in the first place. "i'm glad you asked, darling. well, to put it simply, i, er, kidnapped you," he says with a bashful smile, pushing his glasses up with a shaking finger. "i absolutely adore you, and have for a long goddamn time - so i wanna keep you with me forever. like a tamagotchi!"

"you wanna keep me... forever in your basement?" your lip curls in disgust. "you can't be serious! have you seen the state of this place?"

"well, no." he falters for a moment before speaking, "i was going to explain how this all works. i mean, you won't be in the basement forever forever. it's just temporary, until i trust that—”

"oh, so you don't want to keep me forever?” your emotion leads you to hastily jump to a false conclusion, “please tell me i’m not going to be thrown away, once you’ve had your fill. you love me, right?”

"wait, sorry, um," he shakes his head, confusion evident on his features by means of his furrowed eyebrows, the clear trepidation in his tone. "do you... well, how do i say this?" he mumbles to himself, closes his eyes. opens them a moment later. "do you, like, want to stay here - with me? i thought you'd—"

"in this economy?" you scoff, " staying with you means i don't have to pay rent, and get free meals and free entertainment." you shoot him a glare, "there is entertainment, right?"

he blinks, "er, yeah. i have a whole bookshelf for you upstairs with all your favourite novels on it. there's also the media cabinet, full of your favourite films, director's cut and extended cuts and special editions and..." the man trails off, lost in a daze of his own thoughts. "are you - sorry, are you serious, darling?" he asks, that smile of his faltering. "you really want to stay? you realise i will ruin your social and professional lives and monopolise your whole existence, right?"

"yeah, like i said, that's fine by me," you shrug, "now could you be a dear and untie these ropes, please? i didn’t ask earlier but they're really hurting me."

"um, can you give me a moment?"

"sure. but you wanna know something funny," you tilt your head to the side. "for a guy who kidnapped me out of some twisted obsession, after the first date we had, you don't really seem happy that i want to stay."

"no!" he exclaims, eyes instantly widening in panic as he shakes his head frantically, " please don't say that! god, no, my love. you don't - you have no idea how happy i am! i - you - shit, you're going to think i'm crazy but i think i came in my pants when you said that and that's a problem because these are my favourite jeans and i wore them just for this occasion because i so desperately wanted you to think—"

"you're rambling."

"sorry! i mean, like i said, i'm beyond happy. it's just..." he turns his head to the side, too embarrassed to look you directly in the eyes. "i kind of had, like, all my lines prepared. i thought you'd freak out, and i was going to deliver them. i even practiced in front of a mirror to get the, er, the execution right. i’m just confused, is all.”

“…oh.” you blink, and then, before the man before you can burst into tears, which you think he just might, given the way his head hangs low, and he’s curled his fingers into a shaky fist, the knuckles white, in his lap. “well,” you offer, wanting to start your life together on the right foot, “you can still go through your lines if you want. wanna start again from the top?”

he looks up at you hopefully and nods, flashing you a grateful smile as he smooths his hands out, stretching his quivering fingers. “i’d like that, actually. um, can you pretend you don’t know what’s going on so i can do the whole, you know, the whole ‘i love you and you’re mine now’ thing?”

“yeah,” you shrug, “whatever makes you happy. can we go upstairs after this? i really want to sleep more, but preferably on an actual bed in a proper room.”

“of course! we will. we can. we can do anything you want. you can do whatever you, erm, want to do. to me, by the way. please do whatever you like to me. i’m all yours.”

he says in one big breath, and because you can’t bear to keep looking at them anymore, not really listening to his rant, you reach out to hold his clammy hands in yours, intertwine your steady fingers with his shaking ones without a word.

“that’s better. it’s kinda weird how you kidnapped me and yet, you’re still the more nervous one.” you look up at him expectantly, but his face is frozen. “okay so should we take it from the top?”

“i-i—” he looks back at you stupidly with wide eyes, fumbles for the right words, his tongue tied and his brain fuzzy. “my love, my darling — i think i just,” he looks down, head hung in shame, and you notice the tips of his ears burn a bright red, and that his pulse seems to have doubled, heart beating out of his chest. “i think i just, er, came in my pants, again.”

bonus —

WILLING READER, looking down at the prominent bulge straining against the fabric of yan’s jeans: oh.

WILLING READER: want me to clean that up for you? i feel bad leeching off you even if you kidnapped me. gotta make rent somehow, right?

LOSER YAN:

LOSER YAN: haha 😇😇 that’s crazy where did all my clothes go!! 🤗🤗 silly me 🤗🤗

Lily - *Speaking German*

Y/n - I know. I'm sorry.

Athy - You speak German?

Y/n - No. I just know the phrase, 'This is all your fault' in every language.

yami ai [yandere] - Hot Yandere Singles Near You

synopsis: you click on a random pop-up ad and are visited by weird smiling man in suit.

genre: pure crack (like fr), fluff, tbh there's not really a plot

word count: 4.4k

warnings: implied stalking

Isn’t insomnia just the worst? Like, seriously? What’s the point of being a human being with antiquated thoughts and impressive cognitive and motor skills when your brain fights you on the most basic stuff. For example, like sleeping!!

You must’ve refreshed YouTube and Twitter over a thousand times. Over 8 billion people in the world and there’s no new content anywhere? You groaned and jumped back over onto Twitter, silently praying and pleading for something new to show up on your feed. Maybe a wacky billionaire got eaten by a mob of homeless people or maybe a news article about a Floridian doing something gross and outrageous and virtually impossible.

But nope. Nothing.

Not a single thing piqued your interest. You groaned again and looked at the time on your dimly lit phone. It was past 2 a.m. and you were bored out of your mind. You then lazily clicked on Google and sighed.

‘Maybe someone posted a new fanfic over something…’ you hoped. And even if there wasn’t a new fic uploaded you’ll just read the old ones you favorited. Perhaps reading something might put you to sleep.

As you were scrolling through your favorite ship tags, you were startled by a pop up ad covering up 90% of the screen and flashing emojis.

“Ugh… seriously?” you groaned. “They should make ad-blockers on phones for this shit.” You squinted at the bright lettering emanating from your phone even though it was at the lowest brightness setting.

⚠️(99+) Hot Yandere Singles NEAR YOU⚠️

Yandere’s…? Singles? Near me?

The pop-up ad had flashing peach, cherry, and eggplant emojis with a water splash emoji at the end to signify… well, you’re not sure what it was trying to signify. On the sides of the ad, it showed pictures of very gorgeous men and women, all striking suggestive poses. Underneath the title was a small summary that read. ‘These lonely desperate yanderes wanna meet you! They’ll most likely find you anyway, but wouldn’t you rather be the honey to a bee instead of a fly? Try it NOW for FREE!! No hookups! No catfishes! No sign ups!’ Then below that were a few empty boxes to fill out requiring your personal information.

"..."

Was this a porn ad?!

No way at 2:45 in the freaking morning did you just get a porn pop-up ad while googling mafia au fanfiction. This has to be some kind of joke. Maybe it was prank and someone was just fucking with you. And how and why would there be 99+ yanderes in your area?! You couldn’t be surrounded by that many psychos. Could you? Whatever the case may be, it was now past 2 a.m. and as the rule of life states ‘Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.’. You don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or just reckless curiosity, but you gave your shoulders a shrug and mumbled a ‘fuck it’ as you put in your information. Your name, number, gender, age, preferred sex, email, and mailing address. As you clicked submit and continued scrolling, you gave very little thought about how this would go down.

On one hand, the ad turns out to be real and you get a partner out of this. Or

You get quartered, stalked, doxxed, and murdered like the dumbass you are for putting your personal info into a sketchy porno-like pop-up on Google.

Or, it turns out to be a prank and some asshole sitting in a basement has a good laugh at you.

Meh. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

*****

You were jolted awake with the sound of rapid knocking coming from your front door. You groaned into your pillow as you tried to ignore the person desperately wanting your attention from outside your apartment. You finally got some sleep only for it to get interrupted. Only minutes and minutes of continued knocking without any signs of letting up, you decide to get up and shoo away whoever it was. You wearily grabbed your phone to check the time.

8:02 a.m.

You huffed as you stormed towards the front door.

“If this a fucking Jehova’s Witness, I swear to god…” you grumbled. You swung open the door and threw the person a harsh glare, only to be met with popping sounds as confetti flew in your face.

“Good morning, my dear darling~!! Are you ready to begin on the road to happiness and love?” the stranger shouted a far too happy tone for 8 in the morning.

You took a step back in shock, fully awake as you waved and dusted the confetti from your face and hair. You looked the strange man up and down. He was smiling ear to ear and wore an expensive looking suit to warm for the summer weather. A briefcase stood right beside him along with dozens of other party poppers and a white plastic bag filled with brown bottles with oddly enough no labels on them. You looked at the man’s face. He was surprisingly attractive and without a single flaw anywhere. His hair was jet black and shined a very prominent gloss. You were honestly kind of embarrassed to be seen by him when you looked like such a mess. The man let out a chuckle.

“Oh my.” he said, gently putting his hand over his mouth with vague concern. “I hope I didn’t startle you too much. I probably should’ve sent you an email notifying you of the time I was coming. I’m sorry that must’ve been a troubling awakening.”

You quirked your eyebrow and took another step back, grabbing onto the doorknob so that you could slam it right in his face if things got too weird.

“And… you are?”

“Oh my, oh my. Where are my manners? How careless of me to assume.” The man bowed with a curtsy. “I am the ‘Matchmaker’. My job is to pair two people with their fated soulmate and give each of my clients their happily ever after. It’s very nice to meet you, (Y/N) (L/N).”

You felt a chill crawl down your spine. How’d this weirdo know your name?! You tried to close the door as fast as you could, but the ‘Matchmaker’ was even faster. He clicked his tongue at you, his smile unchanging, but his eyes seemed to harden his gentle tone.

“My, how rude. Is that any way to treat a guest?” He let out another chuckle. “You’ll never find love that way.”

“H-How did you know my name?” you stuttered.

Again, another chuckle. What was so funny? “My dear~. You gave it to me.”

What the hell was he talking about? How could you have given this creep your name? Was he a stalker? A junkie? Noticing the confusion on your face, the man spoke up again.

“Oh my dear. Do you really not remember?” he asked, tilting his head in feign innocence. “You filled out an ad to meet singles in your area. And here I am, coming to fulfill that ad.”

You eased up on the tension you had on the door and tilted your head in surprised confusion. “That was a real ad?”

The man stood up tall and smiled earnestly again. “Of course. However, you are the first person to actually fill out that ad. Really, this is more of a celebration to both of us.”

Huh, so the pop-up ad was real.

Not a prank.

And now there’s a psycho standing at your front door promising you a partner from an actual yandere.

“I honestly thought it was a prank. I mean… yanderes? Isn’t that just an anime thing?”

“Oh, I assure you my darling.” he said with a snide smirk. “Yanderes are real. And when they heard about signing up, it was like tossing chicken in a sea of alligators. All clamoring to be the first person to take a bite.”

Okay, gross but kind of sweet.

“May I come in?”

“Huh?”

“Well, my dear. It would be easier to come in and talk through the process of how this goes instead of standing here.”

“Oh, um… Suuuree-”

“Great! My my darling~. What a lovely home. Very well decorated.” The man quickly strided into your house and made himself comfortable in your living room, looking as if he was analyzing every detail about your house.

Richard Chase would’ve loved your dumbass.

You shut the door and followed him into your own apartment and offered him a seat on your couch. Might as well, right? You’ve gone this far and you're still alive.

“Umm…” you hesitantly shifted from one foot to another. “Do you… um… want some coffee maybe? Or tea? Maybe a glass of water? If you haven;t eaten breakfast yet, I whip you up something.”

Yeah, sure. Feed the man with only a title for a name and waltzed right into your house after showing up after you put in your personal information into a random pop-up ad at 3 a.m. promising you a happy life with hot single yanderes in your area. You are the pinnacle of human genius. The apex of natural selection. The creme de la creme of common sense. Charles Darwin would be so impressed.

“How thoughtful. Just coffee would be fine. Thank you.”

After brewing a quick pot, you sat across from the man facing him heads on and gently slid him his steaming cup. After a while of taking little sips in weird silence, he spoke up again.

“Before we continue, I’d just like to say: Thank you so much for applying for this wonderful opportunity!! Not many people would click on an ad requiring doxxing information to meet their soulmates! Again, congrats on being our number one willing client!”

“Willing client?” you asked.

“Well, of course! For some reason, humans seem to really love the idea of a yandere until there’s one standing on their front porch!” he laughed.

“Humans? I’m sorry. Are you not human, Mr…?”

“Ah ah! No need for formalities! Just ‘The Matchmaker’ or simply ‘Matchmaker’.

“Oh, so… you don’t have a true name? Or is that just a title?”

“Oh darling~.” he sang sweetly. “That’s none of anyone’s fucking business, is it?”

Your eyes widened and let out a nervous chuckle. “Okay, got it! Just Matchmaker. Lovely name. Adore it. In fact, I love when strange mysterious men only give a title for a name.” What the hell does that even mean? You had no idea what you were saying anymore.

“Heh, smart cookie.” He winked. “Shall we begin?”

“Um, yeah, so… how does this work exactly?” you finally asked.

“Simple, my dear darling. Think of this as an ordinary matchmaking appointment. I have a stack of potential soulmates all ready to meet you. I have the same information about them that I also have of you. Each potential soulmate also has a picture so if you don’t really feel up to meeting face-to-face just yet you can look over the picture and see who captures your heart.”

“Face-to-face? So these guys have my picture too?” “Of course! And might I say, those pictures don’t do you justice. In all my years in this business, I’ve never seen such an obsession and overload of potential soulmates for just one person.”

You lightly blushed. “I-I don’t know about that… I barely got any sleep last night so I probably look like a zombie right now…”

“Au contraire, Darling. You look absolutely stunning. If I weren’t such a professional I would burn all these forms and claim you as my one and only~.”

You felt your entire face flush red as the Matchmaker pierced your soul with his longing gaze. It felt like he was staring into your very essence – like he could read you like a book. You nervously cleared your throat and shifted your eyes away, hoping to bring down your blush.

“S-So! Um… should we get started?” you stuttered, internally kicking yourself for being so easily flustered by a couple of smooth words. Ted Bundy would’ve had a field day with your dumbass.

“Ready whenever you are, my dear.” The Matchmaker set his briefcase on your coffee table and pulled out a single form and slid it over towards you. “Let’s start off with an easy one.”

You looked at the form along with the picture of a very attractive man paperclipped to the paper. According to the form, his name is Hamazawa Akita. He was in his early 20’s, had a varying array of hobbies from hiking to scuba diving, and was very much in love with you.

“Well, what do you think?”

“Hm, well, he’s very cute. And very active.”

“Would you like to meet him?”

“Um, sure… is there a number I could call or…?”

“No need! We can bring him in right now.” The Matchmaker snapped his fingers and you whipped your head towards the front door where Akita strolled in, all smiles. You looked back over the Matchmaker. “Did I not lock my door? Wait. More importantly, how’d he get here?!”

The Matchmaker smiled. “My dear, when you’re in this business you pick up a few tricks.” He then turned his attention towards Akita who now stood in the middle of the living room. “No. 1 would you like to introduce yourself?”

Akita stood tall and his eyes seemed to beam directly at you. “My name is Hamazawa Akita. Ever since I saw your picture I’ve dreamed about sweeping you off your feet and claiming you all to myself!”

“So, like 8 hours ago?”

“Yes!! But those hours feel like years when being away from you.”

“Hmm.”

“So, what do you think? Are you feeling the butterflies?”

You looked up Akita up and down and your face twisted as if you’re deciding on whether or not to buy a car or a piece of clothing.

“Um, to be honest my guy. I’m not feeling it.”

“Huh?”

“Excuse me, my darling?”

“Weeeelllll…. I mean, don’t get me wrong! You’re very attractive and your words are sweet, but I don’t think I believe any of it. Like, you just admitted to wanting me all to yourself only 8 hours ago, but I don’t really feel anything. Not even a shiver.”

The Matchmaker and Akita both looked at each other like they weren’t really expecting that. With a quick wave of his hand, Akita slumped his shoulders and headed towards your front door. You shouted out an apology as the dejected suitor walked out.

“Well, I didn’t expect that. I don’t normally get such competent clients. At least those that get past kicking and screaming.” The Matchmaker grinned. You shrugged.

“I guess I just know what I like. All the anime I’ve watched kind of gives you that high standard of what makes a yandere a real yandere, y’know?”

He nodded. “I cannot agree more. Well, we have plenty more where that came from. Shall we continue?”

*****

Papers were strewn across your coffee table in an unorganized fashion as both you and your estranged guest were tired beyond belief. You had no idea how many hours had passed nor how many guests were in and out of your apartment. You’re honestly surprised none of your neighbors complained or called the police. Your apartment would’ve looked like a clown car if anyone had been watching from the outside. You honestly lost count after No. 256. You let out another yawn and laid on your side trying your best to keep your eyes open. Maybe 2 hours of sleep wasn’t enough for the multiple interviews you had to conduct today. Maybe your 9th grade biology teacher was right. Maybe you are going to die alone. A weary sigh brought you from your thoughts.

“My, my. You are definitely the most high standard client I’ve ever had. I didn’t think we’d get to the triple digits in just one day.”

You also sighed and sat up in your seat. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… All these guys are cute and all, but they’re all lacking something. They’re either too forceful or not forceful enough. Too wimpy or too strong. Or too obsessed or just incredibly so lovesick that I feel like they’d fall in love with just about anyone who’d be willing. Ugh, why can’t this be simpler like adopting an animal?” You groaned. You also hadn’t thought this would take this long. You didn’t really think of yourself as having high standards until today. Until today, you’d be happy with anyone close to you in age and with a heartbeat. Who knew picking out a yandere soulmate would be so challenging. And who knew that there’d be so many willing participants! The Matchmaker reached into his briefcase and pulled another stack of forms and slid them over to you. There must be at least over a hundred papers in front of you. How did he have so many?!

“How about we switch things up, hm? You’ll look over the papers and when you see someone that catches your eye, I’ll bring him in.” He made it sound like you were adopting a dog or a cat. But if this made it go any faster, you were willing to try.

After about 3 more stacks of papers, you were starting to lose hope and patience. When you got to the last few papers, you stopped dead in your tracks. Woah baby!

“Woah baby!” you exclaimed.

“Did you find someone you like?” The Matchmaker asked hopefully.

“Oh yeah. This guy.” You showed him the paper. He furrowed his brows a little.

“Are you sure? I don’t think I remember this man. His name and face don’t seem familiar.”

“Really? Maybe he’s a late entry or something?”

Matchmaker stroked his chin in thought. “I’ll go check it out. Be right back, dear. I’m very sorry for this inconvenience.”

You waved off his apology with a smile and he left your apartment. You then leaned back with a groan. You just wanted to find your ‘soulmate’ or whatever and move on with this day. You closed your eyes for a second and waited patiently for Matchmaker to come back.

Tap tap tap

Just like deja vu, you were awoken by rapid knocking. Except this time it wasn’t coming from your front door.

Tap tap tap tap

It sounds like it’s coming from… your window?

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap

You quickly got up and walked towards your window and opened it.

“Woah!” You jumped back a little as you were met face to face with the man that you had picked out and that the Matchmaker went to go find.

‘Wow… he’s even cuter in person!!’

He let out a delicious chuckle and gave you a charming smile.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, darling~. Hehe, though I think that fear in your eyes was worth it. So adorable~.” For the second time today, a complete weirdo stranger has made you blush. Wait…

“Wait! I don’t have a balcony and I’m on the third floor. How’d you-?” You peeked over the window to see if he was pulling a Criss Angel.

“I have incredible grip strength~.” he winked.

“Oooh I’m sure~.” you swooned. For a weirdo, he was a smooth talking weirdo.

“Oh, I got these for you, sweetheart~.” He pulled himself up and sat on your windowsill and pulled out a bouquet of roughly cut flowers from behind him. You gasped and grabbed them, giving them a smell.

“These are my favorite!! How did you know? I don’t think that was one of the pieces of info required for the Matchmaker.” you asked.

The stranger chuckled. “Easy. I never filled out that stupid application.”

You looked up from your flowers and titled your head like a confused puppy.

“I already know everything about you. I don’t need a stupid piece of paper to tell me what I already know about you. Like, how I know that you have secret sweets hidden all throughout your room. Or that whenever you have a good day you love to sing Stray Kids.”

He inched closer to you as you backed up further into the room.

“You won’t eat frozen pizza, but every so often you eat a lobster roll from a food truck from Gary on Main St.. You have life destroying evidence of your boss that you’re planning on using on your last day. You’ve seen the Barbie movie 5 times. And…”

You felt your legs hit the couch and tried to keep yourself from falling onto your back like a defenseless turtle.

“Your favorite anime is… Dar-” You quickly covered the stranger’s mouth with a furious blush.

“I only watch it ironically!! I don’t love it! It’s not my favorite!” you quickly clarified. The gravity of the situation was made perfectly clear after that. This man really knew all about you. Honestly, you’re so loud that you’re pretty sure that people on the ground outside could hear you singing. And you don’t really pay attention to your surroundings so it's easy for someone to know that you eat from a food truck every other week at specific times. But, knowing your favorite secretly watched anime?

“W-Who… are you?” you stuttered. You’re pretty sure you already knew the answer.

He laughed and you felt his lips brush against your fingers. You blushed and tried to pull back, only to be stopped by his hands.

“Sweetie~. You already know who I am.” He grabbed the paper from the stack and put it next to his face. “See? I’m Yami Ai. Your soulmate.”

Before you could even process what was happening, you were gently pushed onto the couch with Yami hovering over you holding your hands beside your head. You couldn’t stop the blush erupting from your neck to your face. Your heart was beating way too fast and your stomach felt jumpy and queasy. Butterflies.

You cleared your throat. “Um… so, if you didn’t fill out a form then how come The Matchmaker had your profile and picture? And why didn’t you use the front door?”

Yami smirked and leaned in closer. “It’s pretty simple to pull off when your apartment does security checks on new guests entering the building.”

“But, my apartment doesn’t–” you stopped. “Ooooh… So you impersonated a security guard, slipped your profile and info into his briefcase, and were planning on showing up as one of the potential singles? That’s… convoluted. But, smart.” You shrugged. “And since you obviously knew which floor I was on and which window was mine, I assume you’ve been watching me for a while and were watching me last night when I couldn’t sleep?”

Yami laughed again. “You are so smart~. You really catch on quickly, don’t you?”

You shrugged again with a nervous smile. “W-Well, obviously not smart enough to not put in my personal info and have strange men come in and out of my apartment.”

Yami was quick to turn his gentle smile into a hard, harsh frown. His grip on your wrists grew tighter and you winced under the force he placed in you.

“You know, my darling. It’s partially my fault. If I hadn’t backed out and taken you that night, you’d never be in this situation. With those men eyeing you up and down like you were theirs. Having that smiling freak calling you ‘dear’ and ‘darling’ when only I can call you that. I was planning on getting rid of the competition, but you did that for me.”

Yami loosened his grip and lifted you up, staring into your eyes. You blushed again.

“Rejection after rejection. Some guys didn’t even get 2 words out before you turned away. Of course my darling would only want the most perfect man. Isn’t that right, darling~?”

“Hehehe~” you leaned in with a giggle. “You’re so sweet~.”

You are such a baby for flattery.

*****

“My dear darling, I’m so very sorry for the inconvenience. I didn’t mean to be gone for so long, but I could not find this person you–” Matchmaker explained, rushing in and stopping dead in his tracks when he saw both you and Yami, the man who left 30 minutes ago to go find, eating breakfast in the living room.

Sitting in his lap.

And feeding each other.

“Oh! Matchmaker!” you exclaimed, quickly swallowing your food. You didn’t notice Yami tightening his grip on your waist nor did you notice the cold glare and tense atmosphere enveloping the room. “Look who I found~.”

“I see…” he said hesitantly.

“He climbed up the building and came in through the window.”

“My~. How romantic~.” he sang. “So, I take it that you are satisfied with your soulmate? Or… do you wish to continue searching?” he asked teasingly. Before Yami could say anything, you quickly spoke again.

“Yep! I’m sure.” You ruffled Yami’s hair and nuzzled up against him. “I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else.” Yami hugged you closer to his chest as you giggled. “Plus, he makes the most amazing breakfast in the world, so extra points!” you cheered. You reached out towards the Matchmaker’s briefcase.

“Here you go! I put all the papers back in for you.”

Matchmaker quickly walked over and grabbed his briefcase along with your hand. “Well, my dear. It’s been an honor. You are truly the most remarkable and memorable client I have ever had.” he said with a bow and made his way towards the door. However, before leaving he chuckled and looked back at the both of you. “Although, it’s a shame,” he sighed. “Maybe if I had stayed, I would’ve snatched you up myself.”

And with a final loud laugh, The Matchmaker disappeared, but not before Yami stood up to lounge and attack the fleeting man like a guard dog. You snorted and caressed his face to calm him down. “Relax, Yami. He’s just joking.”

“Well, I hated his joke. Fuckin’ freak…” he grumbled. “And it’s Ai. You’re mine now. You should get used to calling each other by our first names.”

You smiled and leaned against him. “Okay, Ai. Whatever you say.”

“And if a man comes to the door, never EVER answer it, got it!”

“Mhm.”

“I’m serious, darling. I’ll gouge their eyes out right in front of you.”

“Yes sir.”

The rest of your life was going to be very interesting. Suck it, Ms. Braxton. I guess you’re the one dying alone. Because you have a yandere boyfriend! And she has gonorrhea. Bitch.

---

a/n: this is so shit. i'm so sorry that i've been MIA for a while. work has been pretty crazy and i haven't really felt much motivated to write. however, i'm trying to get back into it now. with this goofy shit. kind of a joke piece, but i needed to write something silly and not serious at all to relax. (also i've been writing since 4 a.m., so...) anyways, i'm going to try and update regulary or at least post something.

Here's my YouTube. I make anime playlists.

(Click/Tap on the images for better quality!)

“When Hantengu splits into his emotion clones for the umpteenth time, they are horrified to discover that Urogi has become tiny, blob-like, and… lazy?! Join Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu and Hantengu on their chaotic adventures as they try their best to take care of the unmotivated Guderogi, all while attempting to figure out why he became like this and how to turn him back into his energetic self!”

Warning: this series is incredibly OOC. If seeing a no-energy Urogi, happy Aizetsu and Tsundere Sekido creeps you out, this series is not for you _(:3 」∠)_

If you guys thought I was joking about The Guderogi Escapades, no, no I wasn’t. Updates will be slow, but I do already have an entire plot for this 4-koma series. So I hope you guys look forward to it! ٩( ᐛ )و

For those of you who are unaware, here’s a link of Takeuchi Shunsuke (Urogi’s JP VA) voicing Gudetama, which was my main source of inspiration. Parts of this comic’s conversation are also from the Netflix series.

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Page 1-5: COMING SOON

yandere!elite x GN!reader

contents: yandere, fluff, rough making out

summary: in the dead of night, a rich boy and his darling sneak out to their boarding school's indoor garden

“I love coming here at night,” he said, looking up at the starry sky. Even in the dim light of the glowing flowers around us, he looked incredibly beautiful. There was a bittersweetness to his beauty, like at any moment he could disappear and I’d only be able to glimpse him in my dreams and memories. He had deep brown eyes, warm brown skin, and long, spiraling locs. His form was lean and athletic from years of training. “I’m sorry I dragged you here… I just really wanted you to see this.”

“I’m not too mad,” I joked nervously. “I just don’t want to get caught up, you know.”

I didn’t want to be afraid when with him, but in the darkness of the night, I heard my heart racing. We sat in the Garden together. If it were any other time, I would have been ecstatic to be here. This was where the great Princes had gathered, ate and celebrated each other. This was a place of legend and lore… and all that didn’t mean much to my companion. He just thought it looked pretty here.

He had come to my dorm in stealth, and concealed me along with him. He had a strong predisposition for protection spells, particularly veiling. His being the descendant of the academy’s founders also got him special access into lots of different places here, at basically any time. His family handed him anything he wanted because of his talent, beauty and aptitude. They were fools for him, so there we sat, probably scot-free. Well, I wasn’t so sure about myself, which was one of the reasons I was afraid of being with him.

It was also because he was fucking insane.

He pulled me into a hug. He smelled like the sweet milk roses around us; sugary and potent. He kissed my neck and trailed his hand down my belly, all the way down to my lap. He then pressed his full, soft lips against mine. Deepening the kiss, he pulled me in tighter. I closed my eyes, knowing his was open. He liked to see every tiny flinch and expression I made, and it was his incentive to go faster, be rougher, and taste every inch of me.

“Mm… w-we shouldn't do this here,” I said, breathlessly pulling away.

He didn't miss a beat. He licked his wet lips and said, “We’ll go to a room, then.”

“S-Sure… um, mine isn’t the prettiest, but—”

He shook his head, his expression incredulous. His eyes were suddenly cloudy and distant. He stuttered, “I don’t want to impede upon something so holy…and private… That’s your… personal space. No, there are rooms here. I’ll show you.”

He stood up and pulled me up along with him. He took my hand and guided me to the maze-like Garden, until we came upon a waterfall. A line of stones led directly to it. He gestured me to go first, saying that he’d catch me if I fell. I carefully took each step, and he followed behind. I stopped at the last visible stone.

“Do I… just go in?”

“Yes, my love,” he said with a chuckle. 

Rolling my eyes, I stepped through. Instead of getting drenched, I was met with a warm atmosphere. I now stood in a room that was cozy, with a blazing fireplace, a couple filled-up bookcases, a king-sized bed, and a faux fur rug. It was only a tad bigger than my own dorm room. It was surprisingly homely. I had been to his dorm room before, and it was much more grand, dramatic and large.

“I stay here most often. I wanted to take you here before, but I didn't want to do it that day. I was planning to take you here after we fucked in the Garden, but this is a good a place as any.”

I blinked, failing to process the true extent of his shamelessness. I said, in a scolding tone, “h/n!”

He grinned and said, “Do you like it? I decorated it myself. I definitely want to live in a whole cottage like this when I retire. With you, of course.”

I laughed. “Isn’t it too early to plan that sort of thing out?”

“I love these kinds of houses,” he replied happily, sitting down.

“No, I mean marrying someone. That’s something you have to plan.”

“Just tell me what you want in a wedding and we’ll do that.”

“That’s not what I— Oh, never mind.”

He furrowed his devastatingly lovely eyebrows. Caressing my face, he whined, “Have I upset you? That seems to be my talent these days. Please forgive me.”

How could someone with so much power at his disposal look so submissive? It looked as if he would yield to my every desire. I shook my head at him. I sat down next to him and told him he didn’t upset me at all. He kissed me when he heard that, slipping his warm, wet tongue into my mouth. He teased the entrance to my throat, and I moaned into him. My mind was getting murky as he fondled my chest, waist, thighs, and the warmth between them— he somehow moved both slowly and quickly, his warm fingers finding their way under my clothes. He laid me down and began to grind his groin into mine, embracing me with his muscular arms. He was heavy and strong, so my will buckled under him. He kissed my ear all the while, and thanked me for letting him get so close to me. 

“I’m so weak,” he whispered. “I-I just can’t st-stop…”

I stroked his head in response, losing myself in the sweet feelings he was drawing out of me. He asked me to marry him a billion times in a row, and I breathlessly moaned his name....

divider by @/cafekitsune