Humans Are Space Orcs Facial Expressions

Humans are Space Orcs “Facial Expressions”

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing.\

“Why are we even here?”

At the front of the room, The Grizzled Tesraki Bridge officer took his seat. One of his ears was partially mangled, and his dark Ochre fur stuck up in strange places only adding to his grizzled appearance.

In the front row, the young Tesraki that had spoken tapped a foot impatiently against the floor.

Keep reading

Blood is thicker than water.

This is a popular saying on earth. It has been around longer than anyone can remember. A mother says it to her child when they have their first heart break. A father says it to his child who chose their friends over their family. There are a million different ways to use that saying, but like most sayings, there is more to it.

When in Rome.

When in Rome do as the Roman’s do.

Curiosity killed the cat

Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.

An eye for an eye.

An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.

Blood is thicker than water.

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

So what does this mean?

The blood of the covenant. The blood of the covenant is the power of friendship. The power of a found family. The ‘I chose you to be my sister/brother.’ The ‘you are the aunt of my child even when their biological aunt isn’t.’ And inexplicably, this family is sometimes stronger than the ties of blood.

The water of the womb. The family you were born into. The family that may not have wanted you. The family that loves you so much they annoy the hell out of you. The family you cannot choose. The family that becomes the blood of the covenant because you both make the effort to love each other.

So what does this mean?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

It means the family you choose, your friends, your significant other, your frenemies, the family that will stick with you through even the worst moments of your life, doesn’t have to be biological. It can be biological, it can include every member of your biological family, but when it doesn’t, when it’s your friends from elementary and high school, those friends are better than the water of the womb.

-[Redacted] on human pack bonding.

Paranoia

Humanity has this "power"—Humanity has a lot of "powers", honestly—they call paranoia.

It's, of course, not exclusive to them. All sentient beings are acquainted with fear, and many with anxiety. But humans have—maybe unsurprisingly—a brand of their own. Paranoia. It's deep down in every single one of them, even the most hopeful optimistic.

And it's not a new development. No, many registers, both real and fictional (though those require a bit more analysis), of their existence before they even sent their first tin can to the moon show that they're incredibly paranoid. And while most of it is learned, the crucial core of it is a birthright. The fear that becomes paranoia

It's so deeply tangled with their own self that they laugh at it. They joke about it. They scoff and shake their heads and tease each other. Because it is there and their denial is shallow.

It's in there when they look at an empty space that's just big enough for something. It's there when they fasten their steps in a dark ambient. It's there when they try to break the silence before it can sit. It's there when they approach each other just openly enough to be welcome, but just closed off enough to protect themselves. It's there when they look up at the skies, or down at the deep holes and dark waters.

It's in their tales and their warnings. It's in their precautions and conspiracies. It's in their jokes about The End—whatever The End may be. It's in everything, just low-key enough that they're able to pretend it doesn't bother them. Or maybe it doesn't after millenniums of the same symphony.

Humanity is always waiting for something to happen. Something bad, something devastating. They don't desire it, and they don't want to believe it. But it's there.

None of us can put a finger on it, as they say. Some have rationalized it as "remnants of past instincts", some have laughed and claimed "madness inherent to Deathworlds". I, myself, cannot let go of the possibility that maybe there's merit to their paranoia, that maybe there's something beyond our understanding lurking, and they are the only ones so far capable of noticing it, even if they don't fully understand what they're perceiving

When I asked one of them, they shrugged. They opened a smile—that smile of unaware knowing amusement—and joked that "maybe there's something there. Or maybe Humanity knows itself so much, it knows what to expect"

Ok so I know that there's this whole thing on Humans are space orcs about aliens being surprised on what we eat, like acidic food,etc.

But I've yet to see a post based on the opposite so what if they eat or drink stuff that we humans can't have and now it's our turn to be shocked.

Alien: Uhh still can't believe that you humans can eat all those things you call oranges,I mean that thing is filled with all sorts of acidic acids

Human: Well it's acidic to you and your species but not to us. I mean you have to have something in your diet that we humans can't eat right?

Alien: Hmmm let me think.I mean,the galactic cuisine menu on aboard is mostly edible to all species as it's meant to cut down on cost of having to order specific meals from all corners of the galaxy.And the drink you have hidden in your room doesn't count as I noticed it gets emptier every 7 cycles.

Human: What drink?I thought you were going to mention something I couldn't eat or drink but if it's in my room then it's most likely edible.Also where did you find this drink?

Alien: Well I found it in the storage areas along with all the cleaning supplies, figured it must be one of those alcoholic drinks you humans enjoy,just thought you hid it away from anyone else.

Human: Wait, you found it next to the cleaning supplies?Dude those are strictly cleaning supplies and plus I don't have any alcoholic beverages in my room!

Alien: Really?Well I had a taste of it and it was very similar to a drink I've had from back home.I had no idea that humans made it as well.Though the name was kinda weird.Why was it called 'Bleach'?

Human:

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EXCUSE BUT WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU DRANK?!

Human Guide Page 3:

Tip No. 12: If the human is calm then it is likely everyone and everything work out just fine, especially if you have more than one human aboard.

But if the human is panicking, then that is a double-red alert situation and you better check how many escape pods you have.

Humans are weird: Reflecting on life

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“And on this November the 17th we celebrate the galaxy’s greatest explorer, James Loza! The man who mapped the dark regions, the first one to survive the dreaded Red Star Nebula, breaker of the Veil of Idrium, and-“

“Turn that noise off.”

Hellus looked up from his book at the sudden remark. He had been sitting quietly for so long in the hospital room he had nearly forgotten that he wasn’t the only occupant.

“Are you sure?” Hellus asked his bed ridden friend. “I thought you enjoyed the lime light?”

“Just turn it off, you stubborn bushwacker.”

Hellus chuckled and rose to his feet, calmly walking over to the television embedded in the wall and turning it off. Turning around he got the full glimpse of his friend, and it still made him uneasy to see it.

His human friend was laid out along a clean hospital bed with so many tubes and cables running into him he looked more like an ancient cable box than a living being. The tubes and cables ran into nearby machines that beeped and wheezed randomly. The doctor had explained what their function was but Hellus had not been interested enough to listen. What he did know was that they were the only thing keep his friend alive, and without them…..

“James,” Hellus began but was cut off.

“I know what you’re going to say, old friend;” James Loza said, his words muffled by the breathing mask over his mouth, “but my answer still hasn’t changed.”

Hellus ran his hands through his quills in frustration. James may have been on his death bed, but he was as stubborn as the first bar fight he had met him in some ninety years ago. Back then Hellus had been working as a library clerk and James had been a young runt from a wealthy family seeking adventure. The two quickly hit it off and somehow James had sold him the idea of taking his family’s small ship and sailing into the unknown stars seeking adventure.

For nearly eighty years the pair of them had done just that, making a name for themselves along the way as the “Starlight Pioneers”. James had loved the lime light which suited Hellus fine since he hated having to deal with the public. His face was plastered on everything from lunch boxes, to billboards, and even in one strange case exotic sexual toy’s that to this day James still had no idea what species they were used for.

Reflecting on those youthful memories only made the sight before him even more painful as his best friend sat on death’s doorstep.

“You’re not being reasonable.” Hellus said, pacing back to James who despite his increasing pain laughed.

“When have you ever known me to be reasonable?” James countered as he took several deep gasps of air. “Was I reasonable when I said we could steer through that pod of void whales?”

“No, but-“

“Or how about that time we were invited to that Vorpal prince’s home but got chased out because we mistook his harem for a brothel?” James continued cutting off Hellus as a smile crept on to his face.

“You are not taking-“

“And I still have the scars from when I challenged the pirate queen Amelia Starfeld to a sword fight using our feet?”

“ENOUGH!”

Hellus’s shout was deep and powerful enough to shake several of the medical machines and rattle the windows of the medical room.

Whenever James didn’t want to give a straight answer he would always try to change the subject by telling one of his tall tales or acting the fool, but Hellus was not going to let it happen this time. This time he would get a straight answer.

The door to the room opened and a nurse pushed her way in. “Is everything alright?” she asked the pair of them, though she was eyeing Hellus as if he was somehow at fault.

“Everything’s fine.” James said, dismissively waving her away. “Me and my old friend were just remembering so of our adventures and we got carried away.”

“Alright then.” She said calmly before excusing herself out of the room. “Just push the button by the bedframe if you need me.”

The door closed shut once more leaving the pair in silence save for the rattling gasps James made as he took each breath. It felt like it could go on forever until James spoke up.

“I’m tired, Hellus.” James began. “My adventuring days are done.”

“But they don’t have to be!” Hellus said rather loudly. “With today’s medicine we can easily extend your life another-“

“Hundred years?” James finished. Hellus grinned and nodded.

“Maybe two hundred if everything goes well.”

Instead of the excited response he had expected Hellus was surprised to see James shaking his head.

“I know there are treatments and clone body’s and surgical implants that can make me neigh immortal, or live as long as you Hellus,” James said in a tired voice, “but the truth is I think I’ve reached my journey’s end, and I am content to mark my “X”.”

“Why?” Hellus asked as he felt his legs grow weak and slumped back into a nearby chair. The final hope he had for saving his friend being tossed back in his face. Tears of pure green formed in the corners of his eyes as if the dam he had built to hold back the sadness he had pushed away had finally broke.

Hellus heard a creaking sound from the bed and looked up to see James had pulled himself upright and was looking directly at him. He took one final deep breath from his mask before taking it off and setting it to the side.

“So many blank pages of the map I’ve filled in,” James began, “so many mysterys we’ve solved and cataloged…..”

To his surprise Hellus saw it was James now seeming sad. He couldn’t understand why speaking of his accomplishments would bring anything but joy, but humans were always a strange species.

“I want to die knowing that there is still some wonder in the universe.” James said. “I want to die knowing that there are still blank pages on the map; that there are still sights to see that defy reason and challenge our very understanding of the world around us.”

Hellus held out a hand and clasped James’s right hand. He could feel his friend’s hand tightening around his own as if to transfer what little comfort he had. There would be no changing his mind, no final miracle to save his life, no sudden change of heart….

James Loza, his best friend, was dying; and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

So caught up in this dark state of mind Hellus failed to notice James bringing his left fist in for a punch across his face. The impact was hardly anything and felt more like being slapped with a wet napkin, but it was enough to make Hellus open his eyes and look at James in confusion.

“What did I say about getting all mopey?” James chuckled.

Hellus remembered back in their adventuring days that James would always playfully punch his face whenever he was acting gloomy. He would say “If you’re heads off in the clouds this will remind you to keep your feet in the present.”

Despite everything Hellus couldn’t help but laugh. Even on his death bed his friend was still looking out for him.

James laughed as well before coughing violently. Hellus helped him put the breathing mask back on and let him recline back into the bed.

“You know they’re all going to miss you after you’re gone.” Hellus said as he sat back in his own chair. When James’s dumbfounded expression was his only response Hellus elaborated. “Your fans and family.”

James scoffed dramatically. “My family will be upset they can’t leach off me anymore, but I’m sure my fans will find someone new to worship after I’m gone.”

He looked over at Hellus with a boyish smile. “I know you’ve always wanted to have a fan club of your own.”

Hellus resisted being baited into another debate of fan club sizes and picked up his book again. He was just about to return to reading it in silence when a thought came to him.

“You think of any final words you want to be remembered for?”

James sat in silence for some time before finally giving a response.

“When you finally kick the bucket, come find me; I’ll be needing some fresh stories.”

Hellus chuckled at that. “I’m sure your fans will love that.”

“A pity then it was only meant for you.”

At this Hellus looked up from his book. James Loza had drifted back into a deep pain killer induced sleep with that cocky smile plastered on his face knowing he had yet again gotten the final word.