Humans Are Space Orcs: The Hidden People

Humans are space orcs: The Hidden People

When humans first joined the Galactic Union, there was chaos. Mind you, the humans themselves did not mean any harm to the rest of us, and the majority were actually quite pleasant to be around. But their nature, the way they evolved, simply clashed with those of most other species.

The human mouth was a particularly challenging hurdle to overcome— their saliva was very nearly venomous from the amount of bacteria it held, and the same bacteria could be flung through the air with a simple exhale. Their smile, too. It cause many to be paralyzed with fear, and this would not bode well for peace talks. But humans were understanding, more than anyone expected. They saw what they caused and acted to prevent it. They wore masks and muzzles so as to not frighten or infect. This species changed an entire facet of their behavior to better exist among us in a way no other people had. But even more amazing, this was not the last time they did so.

Their hide was covered in bacteria as well, and the oils their skin produced could burn some of us. So they covered themselves with long-sleeved garments and respected boundaries, though we never asked them to.

Their eyes being foreword facing and the fact that their pupils contracted and expanded caused a similar reaction to their smiles— unrestrained horror in the smaller species, and fear in the rest. So the humans covered their eyes with glass lenses or transparent cloth. Again, we never asked them to.

Their hair, or the fur atop their heads, held oils as well. Not only that, but some species who had particularly porous flesh could have hair embedded in their bodies for weeks if they came in contact with it. So the humans covered their heads with hats or helmets.

Their smell was very nearly noxious to some, nearing on deadly. To others it caused an opioid-like effect if inhaled. So the humans masked their scent with perfumes and scented apparel.

The humans effectively hid themselves away in order to meet us and befriend us. No one expected this carnivorous, primitive race to humble and restrict themselves so totally and completely in the name of exploration. But they did, and this is what sold them to many skeptical species. Their efforts to integrate themselves into our society was so great that no one could reasonably doubt their intentions for peace.

After some years of this though, there came a time in our galaxy where you had to go to their home planet to actually see an uncovered human. That is not to say their species was not rampant in the galaxy, for it certainly was— they expanded faster than any other species had, but no one ever saw them for what they were. And few were so curious that they risked their life for a glimpse of an uncovered human. I myself only have stories and pictures to go off of, like the test of the intelligent universe. But from what I hear, it is nothing compared to the real thing.

And there is a level of detachment because of it, a sadness in the separation I did not foresee until I befriend a human. Not being to see see them, to understand them as acutely as they can me, makes me feel as if I am failing them as a companion and ally. But I know that it is better like this, though I often wonder if the humans regret not being able to truly be themselves around us. Maybe one day I shall see them for what they are, though I think I may have to be on my deathbed before I do so. Just to be safe.

Humans are Space Orcs “Facial Expressions”

https://www.patreon.com/empyreaniris?fan_landing=true

https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing.\

“Why are we even here?”

At the front of the room, The Grizzled Tesraki Bridge officer took his seat. One of his ears was partially mangled, and his dark Ochre fur stuck up in strange places only adding to his grizzled appearance.

In the front row, the young Tesraki that had spoken tapped a foot impatiently against the floor.

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An Assembly had been made. A single human representative had been requested to answer a distress call regarding their specie’s nature. Many creatures gathered to watch and register every single moment of such encounter, curious, not knowing how destructive said encounter would be for the very understanding of human nature.

The Assembly’s caller quickly arrived, showing holograms around. Then, she asked:

“Where is it?”

“Where is what?”

“This”, she responded, pointing to an hologram. “This place you humans call ‘Heaven’. Where is it?”

“Heaven?”

“Precisely”.

The human went silent for a second. They looked at the bigger alien, floating, and stared at her eyes. “Heaven isn’t a physical place. It’s… A belief some humans have”.

“I know how your human religions work. All I want is to know if there’s any indication of a physical place for it”.

“Heaven cannot be entered through this… Plane of existence. There isn’t a portal, or an area you take to access it”.

“Then how do you go to it after death?”

“We don’t ‘go to it’. Those who believe it might enter it, if they were good while alive”.

She wasn’t understanding. She shook her head, lifted herself up, pointed at the holograms, all of her findings, showed the human the images and the notes she had so carefully put together. “What do you mean?”

“Some humans believe they will go to a good place – Heaven – if, during life, they are good people. Kind, compassionate, always trying their best. Otherwise, they will go to a bad place – Hell”.

“No, no! What do you mean you don’t know how to go in there?”

“We know exactly how – by death”.

“You got it all wrong! There’s a moment in which you stop, in which you change. After this change you go somewhere else! How do you find that place?! Where is it?!”

“Are you talking about death?!”

“Death, termination, the end, who cares about your fancy names?! You change! You…”

“We don’t ‘change’, we die!”

“You change! Y-you change, your physical manifestations cease function, but what is after it?! How do you go to that place, how does it work?!”

“We don’t change, we die! It’s the end of our lives, our existence! We don’t actually know, scientifically, how does it work post-death! Some religions speculate of an afterlife, of a place where our souls go to, but that’s religion, it’s a belief, not something concrete!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?!”

The human flinched. The alien, with a trembling form more equal to water than something of flesh and bones, wept as she threw holograms and books around, pointing at the evidence, the feelings becoming too much.

“I-I don’t know!”, the humans responded. “Everything just stops!”

“Your minds, your beings, everything just stops existing?! Y-you can’t be real! I’ve seen it, I’ve felt it!”

She pointed at the human.

“You are all liars! You don’t want us to know about your changes! You don’t want us to know anything! I’ve felt it, I’ve seen your forms become one within the Other Planes as your bodies stopped moving for your deathworld to consume! The physical became bones and dust as your souls ascended!”

“W-what do you mean?!”

“You ascend! Your conscience, your mind, it all changes! A-and all I want is to know where and how to get to it! She isn’t following me anymore, she isn’t here and she hasn’t come back ever since that change! I do not care about what you humans want in exchange for this information, I will do everything to provide what you want! Just– please, I need to know where Verônica went!”

The room grew quiet. The intelligent species eyed each other as the human representative widened their eyes.

“I’m sorry”, they whispered. “Your friend is dead. She… She will not come back”.

“Liar. I know stories of yours, where the death came back, where your minds ‘haunted’ the ones who are ‘alive’. I know about your books, about your interviews and conversations with them! They do come back!”

“It’s not scientifically proven. These books can all be false”.

“You are a liar”, the alien growled. “I saw Verônica go. I saw her body change and release her. I saw it prepare itself for the change. It grew old. It slowly stopped working as before, it grew wrinkles, it grew pale hair, it grew to be beautiful and then it grew to release her”.

The human looked at an hologram, reading a small paragraph of text, informing themselves of a crucial detail before they sighed.

“Verônica died of old age, didn’t she?”

“That’s what our human colleagues called it”.

“Your species…”

“We do not grow old and fragile. We keep on existing until the end of it all”.

“I see”.

“We have been together for more than seventy years. I am sure she would want to stay with me, even with all of this time. Y-you humans have a reputation for being heartbreakers, but her love was genuine. She never left me. She refused to, many times. I’m sure… I’m sure she wouldn’t leave me this time”.

“I know”, the human agreed. “I’m sorry. I don’t think she can come back, even if she wanted to”.

The alien wept as the human hugged her, the water-like body shaping itself and becoming red and purple and green with pain for never experiencing such grief before. She cried, and she screamed, and she raged against human nature.

The Human Manual had to be updated shortly after.

Institute of Galactic Culture

Imagine that somewhere in the galaxy there is a super prestigious university and in honor of the discovery of a new intelligent species that joins them, a lecture on humanity is being held at the faculty of "Life and Culture of Intelligent Species". They even invite humans!

I have a poor imagination, but I just see a man standing in front of a crowd of alien students and seriously/jokingly broadcasting:

"Lesson number one, my children, everything on Earth - alive and inanimate - is potentially deadly, so when you take up research for the final project, make sure that there is a human-accompanying with you."

"Any object in the hands of human can also potentially cause significant damage" *twirls a pen in his fingers*

"Did you know that if human dries incorrectly, they can die?"

"Never choose Australia. Even most humans believe that God just threw all his strangest, failed and dangerous experiments there..."

Ok so I know that there's this whole thing on Humans are space orcs about aliens being surprised on what we eat, like acidic food,etc.

But I've yet to see a post based on the opposite so what if they eat or drink stuff that we humans can't have and now it's our turn to be shocked.

Alien: Uhh still can't believe that you humans can eat all those things you call oranges,I mean that thing is filled with all sorts of acidic acids

Human: Well it's acidic to you and your species but not to us. I mean you have to have something in your diet that we humans can't eat right?

Alien: Hmmm let me think.I mean,the galactic cuisine menu on aboard is mostly edible to all species as it's meant to cut down on cost of having to order specific meals from all corners of the galaxy.And the drink you have hidden in your room doesn't count as I noticed it gets emptier every 7 cycles.

Human: What drink?I thought you were going to mention something I couldn't eat or drink but if it's in my room then it's most likely edible.Also where did you find this drink?

Alien: Well I found it in the storage areas along with all the cleaning supplies, figured it must be one of those alcoholic drinks you humans enjoy,just thought you hid it away from anyone else.

Human: Wait, you found it next to the cleaning supplies?Dude those are strictly cleaning supplies and plus I don't have any alcoholic beverages in my room!

Alien: Really?Well I had a taste of it and it was very similar to a drink I've had from back home.I had no idea that humans made it as well.Though the name was kinda weird.Why was it called 'Bleach'?

Human:

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EXCUSE BUT WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU DRANK?!

I listened to the ending of your last Project ORC video and I couldn’t resist.  I hope you like it!

-codarosy

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I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!