Every Single Time I See A Take That Amounts To "if You Write About X Happening, Or Like Fiction Where

Every single time I see a take that amounts to "if you write about X happening, or like fiction where X happens, you like X" I'm reminded of this one time I was at a casual friends house as a young kid. We were in her room, pretending to "be orphans" escaping from an evil orphanage and having to take care of each other and fend for ourselves. It was all very Little Orphan Annie/All Dogs Go to Heaven and based on the 80s pop media.

And this girl's mom comes in, hears what we're playing and gets all MAD and UPSET. She says that if we play act something, it's because we want it to happen. So her daughter must WANT HER TO DIE.

First off lady, we were 6 year year olds, so take it down several notches. We barely had a concept of mortality for fucks sake. She made us feel so guilty and ashamed, because she was taking our game personally.

Now I have a 5 year old. And sometimes she looks at me and says "pretend you're dead, and I have to -" Whatever it is. Some adult task she's assigned herself.

And it's just so transparently obvious that she's practicing the idea of having to do things on her own. Which is exactly what 5 year olds are supposed to do. I actually find it very flattering that the only way she can envision me not being available to help her is to be literally deceased. Otherwise, obviously, she wouldn't have to do scary hard things alone.

It's a natural coping mechanism. She's self-soothing about what would happen if I wasn't there by play-acting independence in a perfectly safe environment. She's also practicing skills she needs, and making up excuses for practicing them on her own, without taking on the responsibility of being able to do them by herself all the time yet.

Humans mentally rehearse bad this in their brains all the time. We can do that by ruminating- going over worries over and over again, which tends to lead to anxiety and helplessness and depression. Or we can do it with a sense of play- by recognizing that the fiction is fiction and we can dip our toe into these experiences and expose ourselves to bad things without actually being injured.

My daughter does not want me dead. And I don't want bad things to happen in real life. But fiction and pretend help me face the horrors of the world and think about them without collapsing or messing myself up mentally.

Nobody owes you constant explanations about exactly how and why they're consuming media. Its exhausting and irrelevant.

Nobody has to consistently reiterate they acknowledge the flaws with a ship or relationship.

[ ship ] verb. to take an interest in or hope for a romantic or sexual relationship between (fictional characters or real people), whether or not the romance or attraction actually exists.

I have no input on fans defending their ships, particularly in regards to a fandom I know nothing about and am therefore unqualified to speak on, but I really do disagree with the approach that toxic ships can only be appreciated like little lab experiments.

Nobody owes you specific phrasing about how or why they like a ship either. You're welcome to disagree with how they ship or perceive a ship, but telling people they need to constantly define their approach to a ship is just stripping fandom spaces of their enjoyable nature.

You have every right to oppose someone's opinion, perspective or approach to a ship, but not to dictate that they must only approach a ship in a specific way or be overt about the way in which they are shipping.

Its supposed to be fun. Sometimes, shipping is just shipping.

“shipping an unhealthy ship isn't inherently a bad thing because maybe you just want to see themes of abuse and toxicity explored in media.”

i agree. but i feel like there's a difference between finding a toxic ship interesting and actively shipping it. shipping two characters means that you want them to end up together and you think that they're a good match.

for example, i find simon and grace from infinity train to be an interesting ship. granted, they weren't a canon ship but a one-sided romantic interest was hinted, at least. but even if they were canon, i wouldn't ship them.

similarly, i also find rose quartz and pearl to be an interesting ship, despite their relationship being really unhealthy. but i don't “ship them”. i don't make posts talking about how cute they are or trying to prove that they belong with each other.

i like these ships because it's complex and well-written, not because it's desirable or good for either of the characters.

so yeah, if you say you ship two characters, you should be prepared to hear people talk about it being unhealthy. if you merely like a ship that is unhealthy because it's an interesting thing to explore in fiction, you should phrase it that way.

a lot of c//a stans actively talk about their ship being the best or being really healthy and wholesome, but when someone disagrees with them, they immediately go “i like the ship because it's toxic, i'm not into boring vanilla ships”. then just say that? instead of trying to prove that your ship is meant to be?

You can support something's right to exist and still personally find it weird/offputting/not understand it.

So many people act like to be respectful or supportive of something you have to throw your whole soul into enjoying or understanding it, and that's really not what it's about.

Sometimes, being supportive really is just;

"I find this strange as hell but you enjoy it and I'll support your right to enjoy it."

Feeling like you have any form of control or input over a celebrity because you support them is literally the weirdest mindset to have.

Like technically all my purchases at the grocery store contribute to the workers' wages but I don't tell them they're not allowed to date someone or bitch about them changing their hairstyle.

You're making a choice to support that person. The only thing they owe you is basic gratitude.

"Why can't the freaks on AO3 just go and make a site for all the gross stuff and leave AO3 alone."

Because AO3 is that site. Because AO3 was that site long before you decided AO3 was better than the sites you bullied us off of before, and I can promise you if someone somehow comes up with a fanfic site you like better specifically for the 'gross stuff' you'll try to bully us off that too so you can benefit from it.

AO3's specific core purpose is to preserve fanfiction, yes, but it was also instigated as a host site for the fanfiction that kept getting yeeted off other platforms like Wattpad. Its designed to preserve all fanfiction, not just the fanfiction you, personally, think is 'allowed' to be written.

AO3 is the site for all the gross stuff the freaks make. We've been there just as long as you. We've been funding it just as long as you have. AO3 has specifically said you have a place here. The timeline was literally:

Wattpad/FF.net/LiveJournal purge fanfics > AO3 is born > The people who's fics got purged moved over to AO3 > AO3 gains popularity as the best functioning site > The people who pushed for the fics to be purged off Wattpad move to AO3 > The same people try to push for AO3 to purge fics.

AO3's source coding is open-access. You go make a polished, strict, rigid site where nothing 'icky' is allowed. You go make a site where you can control what is hosted. We already have our space.

It was worded badly, a fact that I noted well beyond the point of it being conductive to go back and change it. 'Called out' in this case was the incorrect language, since its been turned into a buzzword on the internet for going for someone's jugular.

'Called out' would perhaps more aptly be worded as pointed out. If you're going to make disagreeable content, people will disagree with it. However aggressively. Any time you make a public post, you simply must be prepared to accept that anyone can have any kind of reaction to it.

Nor did I ever mention you cannot block people even if they are, rightfully, challenging you on something. I simply stated to be prepared that it can, and will, happen. So many people get corrected on something they've stated or claimed and take it as a personal attack and a wrong act.

In reality; if you're going to call the sky green, you're going to get people telling you its blue.

Interesting, though.

Actually there's nothing wrong with blocking or reporting people, deleting comments and refusing to respond/engage with hate and baiting on any level whatsoever. They are not owed your time or explanations. They are not owed your energy. You are not immature or incapable for choosing to refuse to engage instead of choosing to argue and expend energy.

Obviously if you're making uneducated, incorrect or bigoted content then yeah, be prepared for people to call you out and challenge your statements and views, but I'm talking in general.

Hate comment on your fic? That's cool, baby. Just delete it.

Someone's trying to bait you into arguing about your stance on something? Whatever. Its all groovy. Block 'em.

You got a clear visual that someone's just gonna keep coming back at you? Have a report button. Its free. I'll give you as many as you need.

You don't need to facilitate that. You don't need to see it. You don't need to spend your time trying to challenge someone who's obviously either in a bad mentality or is just a shitty person as a whole. You simply Do Not. You don't need to allow that person to have a space and a voice within yours. You don't need to allow them to be able to spew their bullshit for you and everyone else to see outside of their own little bubble.

Next time you get a hate comment on AO3? Wham, bam, its gone, ma'am. No thank you. Anon hate mail? Not in this household.

You have no obligation to facilitate any of it, and anyone who tries to force you into thinking otherwise is simply incorrect. Their action does not inherently demand your reaction. Plus, its objectively more hilarious to know that the sole outcome of their spitefulness and negativity is them getting even angrier because you're refusing to engage and refusing to feed their need for a response.