I'm So Upset By Antis Sometimes. Once I Made A Few Mistakes With A Minor As An Adult:

I'm so upset by antis sometimes. once i made a few mistakes with a minor as an adult:

acted inappropriately with them, i thought they could handle more than said they could, things they consented to at the time they were facetious about how 'comfortable' they were-- probably to set me up

now everyone labels me as a predator just because of that and the fiction i like. so much for 'forgive and forget', huh? :/ i hate child brats in Fandom so much they ruin it for everyone. i don't get mad if i see some kid get shit bc at this point i know they're lying or exaggerating claims to get out of trouble.

This is one of those scenarios where I really can't comment on anything except future safeguarding because "acting inappropriately with a minor because they consented" could literally mean anything and I'm not about to validate actions I do not actually know.

However, in the future, its best to adopt the practice of setting firm boundaries with minors. Very firm boundaries. Unfortunately the internet never forgets, no matter who forgives, especially when it comes to things like this.

While minors are absolutely welcome in fandom spaces and I refuse to participate in trying to segregate minors off and treat them like fragile little glass babies who can't know about murder and sex until they're 21, I also understand for the safety of both sides there needs to be a certain level of separation and firm boundaries in place.

For example, I refuse to have any private conversations with minors online. Any discussion I have with one must happen publicly so there is evidence and witnesses to the original texts, and evidence that can't be so easily manipulated.

(E.g; if someone edits a screenshot of a post I made, its all too easy to link to the existing, original post proving its fake.)

I don't roleplay with them or collaborate on fanfiction (again, this involves too much closed-off and private communication, unless its something public like a SFW round robin). If I'm in Discord servers I use the note box on their server profiles to mark who is a minor so I know what is and isn't appropriate to say or involve them in.

It really is better to be safe than be sorry. I can't control what a minor chooses to involve themselves in or expose themselves to but I can control how much I involve them in and expose them to.

I'd also fully recommend blocking anyone who attempts to contact you or interact with you in bad faith. Some people will simply weaponise anything they can against someone they disagree with.

I really wanted to ask you about this:

Do you have any advice of how to develop critical thinking and media literacy?

There are many, many ways you can practice critical thinking, evaluation and media literacy. At its most basic, you can access student resources for lower levels of education like earlier high school years and look at the examples and guidance given there. Rehashing this will often give you a good foundation to build off of and apply.

One of the main aspects of critical thinking involves discerning what is fact and what is opinion. A good portion of media analytics is opinion. What is 'bad' by one person's standards is 'sub-par' or even 'great' by another's. Similarly, the majority of fandom space is opinion-based. The main pitfall of fandom spaces is that everyone wants their opinion to be taken as fact, which is where critical thinking and even basic communication begin to fall away.

"I'm right and you're wrong" and "this is the way it should be, if you do it or think differently, you're wrong" are common roadblocks people run into when engaging with things like media analysis and even basic fandom activities like fanfiction.

'Mischaracterisation' is fanfiction is one popular topic, especially here on Tumblr. What people often fail to recognize is the true creative depth of fanfiction and using someone else's pre-existing characters. Characters as they are in the source material may not make the choices or behave in the ways necessary to activate or validate certain plot material or author intentions in fanfiction. Which is, inherently, one of the main points of fanfiction. Exploring the alternate.

While you might immediately recoil and say "he'd never do that!" you then have to sit back and recognise that that's exactly the point. That this iteration of that character is not meant to directly reflect the source material. Its a re-imagining, a re-interpretation. That doesn't mean its bad. Its simply different.

'Mischaracterisation' is only actually applicable in fandom spaces when someone is trying to insist as a blanket fact that a character would do something or behave in a way that blatantly contradicts their canon behavior, opinions, morals and perspective or deliberately interpreting an action in biased bad faith. It is not actually applicable to fanfiction where creative liberty dictates you can do whatever the fuck you want with a character because you're not trying to claim it as part of the source content.

Questions To Ask Yourself

Am I reacting to [media] emotionally instead of rationally? Is my emotional response to [media] blinding me to the rational or critical approach(es)?

Am I allowing my expectations to get in the way of me understanding [media] fully? Am I forming a biased negative opinion of [media] because it isn't meeting my expectations?

Even if I disagree with [media], do I actually understand it? Can I recognise the reasoning behind choices made or actions even if I don't agree with them?

Am I searching too hard to hidden meaning or purpose in absolutely everything? Can I recognise what is simply passive information/detail and what is active information/detail? (E.g; English tutors saying a character's curtains are blue because they're depressed when throughout the literature its passively reinforced that blue is the character's favorite color.)

Even though I disagree with the statement or opinion shown, is it necessary to argue against it? Is there any benefit to making my counter-opinion known or is it simply a no-end argument? Am I just using arguing as a means of release/fulfilment? Am I treating this person poorly because of their opinion/statement?

Resources

Critical Thinking Exercises & Explanations #1 The Critical Thinking Activity Workbook Early Stage Critical Thinking Games Five Media Literacy Activities Six Media Literacy Ideas

i like to think there is a big difference between saying something inappropriate on occasion because you weren't thinking and actively and deliberately making it your goal to groom someone - one is a unfortunate mistake and the other is continued malicious actions

Again; the anon provided absolutely no context or information to what actually transpired. I never accused them of intentionally grooming someone but likewise I'm not about to dismiss or immediately support whatever they did do. Because again; I have absolutely no knowledge of what happened.

Likewise; there's also the instance of choosing to trust a minor's "consent to inappropriate actions" which is making the active choice to engage with them in any manner regards topics that are inappropriate or potentially harmful even without the specific intent of grooming them.

Everyone will eventually, at least once, say something inappropriate around a child, be it swearing or sexual or scary. Regardless of intent. Its just the way the world works. He who says something inappropriate will undoubtedly be in the presence of a child who should not be hearing it.

So again, I'm not going to support or condemn anyone without actually knowing what happened and, frankly, neither should anyone else. Neutrality in a situation as precarious as this should be the only option.

um, silly qiestion but is there any other way to reverse search images other than using google lens?

You can use websites like TinEye or DNSChecker, which will scour the internet for any instance of an image being uploaded and provide them in chronological order.

However, with these kinds of websites, please read the usage terms carefully. Some websites that offer services like this are very predatory and will hide in their usage terms that by 'uploading' an image to their site you are granting them permission to use it in varying ways.

Its also not as streamlined or time efficient, but often I've managed to find images by searching relevant key terms of descriptors into Google Images. E.g; "Henry Cavill Pink Fanart."

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.