Genuinely Curious Why So Many People Demand Entitlement Within Spaces To Be Negative And Miserable And

Genuinely curious why so many people demand entitlement within spaces to be negative and miserable and focus on upsetting things.

"I just want advice and support and a place to release my emotions!"

Okay but do you have to do it in a Pokemon Discord server? Do you have to talk about genocide in front of my fruit salad recipe? Why do my horny thoughts about mpreg Stucky need to be interrupted by you complaining that everyone you know sucks?

Not every single space is obligated to cater to you in terms of providing you with a "negativity space."

The thing about "there needs to be space to discuss sexist tropes is..." isn't this just inviting people to look at servers for mlm ships and go "hm, I need to go in and harass people in this server for not shipping these boys with their canon love interests" or something. I have been in so many servers ruined for me because people came in and started yelling about m/m shippers and making me feel guilty about discussing the ships, even if they weren't talking about me individually.

No, but people will invite themselves into MLM spaces to do that regardless. (Also that's homophobia, not sexism.)

Homophobes will try to enter MLM spaces spaces regardless of the intent of the space or if they're welcome or not. Having spaces that permit critical discussions have no relevance to things like homophobia beyond the fact that these people will merely see it as an easier opportunity to be a dickface and will try their luck.

But again, they'd try their luck anyway. That's what bigots do. They're like diseases, invading spaces and trying to infect and destroy them.

Its on the people who run the servers to adhere to their responsibility to keep them safe, in those instances. This is why I always try to dissuade people from establishing Discord servers open to the public if they are not 100% willing and committed to actually moderating them and taking on that responsibility of safeguarding.

Hello ^__^ I have a question that I'm hoping you could educate me on: I recently watched a video where a reviewer criticized a dark romance book, and kept insisting that the pairing between a male/female student/teacher couple was considered grooming despite the characters both meeting after they were adults & having a 7-year age gap (minimal imo). I understand that there were themes of power-imbalance and possessiveness that might turn readers off, and aside from this being fiction, I'm genuinely curious as to whether this would constitute as grooming in the real-life definition of the term? I'm familiar with this being used to describe CSA, but I know that antis like to warp and abuse certain words, and I just want to make sure I'm not downplaying or brushing off anyone's irl experiences. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Grooming is intentional behavior. It can be done by anyone at any age, although its most commonly (and legally) defined in regards to minors.

While there are inherent power-imbalances and differences in experience with "older age gap" relationships and, as per your example, relationships where one person is in a position of authority over the other, it entirely depends on how the relationship is treated and how the person with the most power treats the person with the least.

Realistically; nobody can control when or with whom they fall in love. Its something that simply happens. However, within the relationship there are easy ways to identify points of concern that turn the relationship into an unhealthy or imbalanced one.

For example: (Assuming the teacher is the male.)

Does he wield his authority over her inappropriately? Does he use it to gain dominance over situations or choices?

Does he use his age, experience, position, ect to benefit from the relationship or choices within the relationship, against her will or to her detriment?

Did he actively pursue her with reasonings relative to her lack of authority against him, the vulnerability or convenience of her being his student, ect?

Is he controlling, manipulative, pushy, overly possessive/jealous, emotionally abusive, ect?

Does he deliberately mislead her or manipulate her with positive emotions, acts and thoughts?

Such behaviors are what constitute as grooming and are what make a relationship between two mature, aware, consenting adults unhealthy and inappropriate.

That said, its a dark romance book. Anyone complaining or criticizing a dark romance book for whatever topics or depictions it may contain are buffoons.

i agree with your "some spaces should be drama free" thing fun is a human need entertainment needs to be valued just as much as anything else with no fun, mental illness can sprout or get worse can't pour from an empty cup let people engage with politics when they are able to forcing it causes burn out and misery which is no help to energy its why anti behaviour is so toxic bringing politics into things that are supposed to be fun, and upsetting everyone including themselves

We've placed such an obligation on addressing and trying to fix or hold ourselves accountable for the negative aspects of things that we've essentially barred ourselves from unadulterated happiness and positivity.

I probably sounded like an ass to the person who mentioned "fandom politics" as a reply but it was just such a blatantly unnecessary comment that really proved my main point. People are so hammered into the belief that if we don't constantly force ourselves to acknowledge something that we are The Problem or making The Problem worse.

Even if the source content has problematic or questionable aspects, you are simply not obligated to acknowledge it 24/7. You are entitled to enjoy it either way. You are entitled to at least one space regarding it where you simply don't have to think about it at all.

i watched someone pretend to be an anti to fit in while being pro ship on twitter. when the antis found out, it did NOT go well. the slight difference is this person mostly deserved it, they used to harass me for a ship we both liked (but they were above it now right? lol), and routinely parroted anti views (telling people to die, etc) and harassed people for being pro ship on tumblr. when the antis found their twitter and all the "gross" ships they consumed they ate that person alive, basically.

I've seen people getting outed for being incognito in opposing spaces multiple times and I can honestly say not a single one has ever ended well.

At absolute minimum its been a witch hunt of harassment. At absolute worse I have seen people descend into self-harm and panic attacks and losing their jobs.

ITS. NOT. WORTH. IT.

Hi. I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask, but do you think it would be justifiable to write a webcomic where the protagonists are in an incestuous relationship that’s portrayed positively? I’m not sure if I should go this route or if I should just stick to shipping the protagonists together in my mind and not actually making it canon. Incestuous relationships in fiction seem to almost always be portrayed negatively or as a tragedy, so I feel like I would end up alienating most of a potential audience and even opening myself up for harassment/scorn. I’ve written romantic incest fanfiction in the past, but writing an actual comic containing the topic seems like a whole different ballgame.

You'll be opening yourself up to harassment and scorn by depicting incest at all, so if that's one of the deciding factors, I'd chose a different topic entirely.

That said; I stand by the age old wisdom of one's fictional tastes not representing their personal menu. To use The Salmon Analogy, a chef can cook salmon while actually hating the stuff. Or being impartial to it. Or disliking it.

You will inevitably get a barrage of pushback both about depicting incest at all and depicting it romantically, but if its something you want to do, do it. Its fiction. Incestuous fiction doesn't always have to be a Romeo and Juliet story. Give the bloodline fuckers a happy ending if that's what you want. If you want to do it, its worth doing.

Positively portraying incest should have no impact on other people. Fiction is not reality and one romantic portrayal of incest is not going to lead to a sudden pandemic of people fucking their siblings.

You do not have to justify why you wrote something.