I'm Having A Really Hard Time Just Existing Right Now.

I'm having a really hard time just existing right now.

My body is in so much pain. My mind is in so much pain.

I'm trying not to spiral but it's so friggin hard.

I'm deteriorating. The very few people close to me, are deteriorating. It feels like everything is just kind of falling apart.

I know I shouldn't isolate. I know I just need to get through the day and get some sleep tonight. (I was awake all night, yay insomnia)

I'm so tired of my body hurting. I'm so tired of my heart/mind hurting. (Depression and so on creeping back into its stronghold again since I had to go off the new meds I had tried and reacted horribly to a diff one not the recently complained about one)

Feeling very doom and gloom about existence.

Meh.

Oh my gods why does my brain do this to me I just took a swig of the last of the water from my glass from last night that I had left in the living room and as I downed the big gulp my brain went "TOE JUICE"

Why?!

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy

How very dare you

Brain

Storpit

It is 7am you bastard thought

We got a very country grandpa type of guy out for the appraisal. (Yay) So most anxiety went away because he had good energy, easy to talk to about stuff with the house.

I'm so glad it seemed to go well. Now we wait to find out if/how much the loan we need got approved.

So I just laid down to start a new book from my doom box.

Read the author's note, which indicated there was another book before this one.

Thinking oh I should find the first book and read that so I'm not lost in this one.

...

. . .

I happen to have the last book..... in a 15 book series 🫠🫠

So now I must find and read the other 14 before this one not only for context on basically everything going on in it but also... *collection* 🤩🥲