I Feel This So Much. It's Also Startling That When I Passed As Abled And Passed As Neurotypical, I Was

I feel this so much. It's also startling that when I passed as abled and passed as neurotypical, I was treated vastly different that I am now. (Now that I stopped masking for the most part and am also quite physically disabled and on the decline) you're glanced at differently. Actually looked at differently. Treated/spoken to differently. It's so irritating.

getting disabled over a period of time is so weird, because sometimes i’ll just see something, let’s say about running, and think “i should do that!” and then i slowly realise that i can’t run anymore. i can barely even walk. it’s weird because there wasn’t one event that happened that made me like it. there wasn’t a day where i woke up and couldn’t run anymore. it was slow and gradual. and sometimes i realise how much ive lost that i didn’t even realise because it all happened so gradually. sometimes it feels like yesterday i could run and today i can’t, and sometimes it feels like forever ago that i could.

VERY IMPORTANT a dam in the Netherlands, the weerdsluis lock, is directly on a migratory path for spawning fish. They have a worker stationed there to open the door for the fish, but they can take a while to open it. So to keep the fish from getting preyed on by birds they installed a doorbell. Only, the fish don't have hands to ring the doorbell. If you go to their website, they have a LIVE CAMERA AND A DOORBELL that YOU RING FOR THE FISH when they're waiting, and then the dam worker opens the door for them! I can't express how obsessed I am with this. look at this shit. oh my god.

Please check on the fish doorbell once in a while :)

Bwa?! 😍😲

today on neat hozier retweets: disappearing birds!

Big mood.... heat intolerance is why I can't go enjoy summer with my kids. (And sunlight/any bright light hurts my eyes soooo much)

No relaxing in the front yard while the kiddos explore their environment. At least not without another adult with me. Who can take over keeping the kids safe/monitored when I'm incapacitated.

I wanted to go to a birthday party for a friend's kid last year, and couldn't at the last minute. Why? I spent 5 minutes outside on a hot (normal) summer day and nearly fainted switching carseats/cars. I barely made it back into the house. It took from maybe 4pm that day until late afternoon/evening the NEXT DAY to recover.

She got angry. That I didn't show up when I said I would. I wanted to. I had planned to. But those 5 minutes in this heat intolerant pots body and I had no chance....

(She is one of two of my only abled friends. Both physically and mentally. She now fully understands it was due to my condition and not me disregarding her family/event on a whim. But that understanding took a long time and during which our friendship was strained bcuz how could I possibly not follow through with what I said. With what I planned.)

This shit sucks. It really does.

Shoutout to disabled people who's ability to leave the house is entirely dependent on the weather. It sucks.

I've met people who seem genuinely confused as to why other people don't act exactly like them. It's like they can't grasp the fact that they aren't the default.

Not pots related (i dont think??? Can it hit that young???) but when I was a child in music class we all stood up to sing and immediately after standing up my vision started getting replaced by this static/blackness and i got sooo dizzy. I stared at our substitute teacher in fear as my vision tunneled onto just her then it all went black/static and I stood there horrified that I just.... couldnt see. Everyone else around me was singing and I was staring blankly with blinded horror and when she approached me and asked what was wrong I said I can't see.... and asked to go to the nurse. She didnt believe me but let me go anyway and I literally walked completely blinded down the hall holding onto the wall for guidance and of course I got to the nurse and my vision had slowly returned and I stood there looking blankly at her just.... no idea what to tell her because a little kid going to the nurse saying "i cant see but nvm i can now" just appeared to be an excuse to leave class and tbh why tf dont adults just believe kids sure some lie but cmon now....

That is a damn core traumatic memory for me 🫠

I think it's absolutely wild that you just lose your vision every time you stand up (or rather, I do) and we just carry on like that's completely normal. POTS is crazy haha.