Chronically Disabled - Tumblr Posts
Limited Food
CW: COVID-19, medical issues, mild mention of blood
What has probably been hardest on me in the last.. however long this has been, has been my dietary restrictions and not being able to abide by them. My main Dr. hasn't been able to pinpoint why I’m in so my pain in my abdomen, or why I sometimes pass blood. I have a gastroenterology appointment in June, but who knows if that will still happen. In the mean time, I’m avoiding anything that makes it worse.This includes, but is not limited to: meat, lactose, sugars, salts, and oils/grease. Being low income, no access to regularly available food banks, and limited cold storage, major depression after a family members death, and major body pain flares, I’ve mostly been living off school snack type food like granola bars. Which have not been kind to my system. I supplement with meal replacement when soy milk is available. I feel awful. I really wish more help options were easily accessible
ive lived more life than i would've liked to but not nearly enough
remus when he gets a new cane (aka me)
I feel this so much. It's also startling that when I passed as abled and passed as neurotypical, I was treated vastly different that I am now. (Now that I stopped masking for the most part and am also quite physically disabled and on the decline) you're glanced at differently. Actually looked at differently. Treated/spoken to differently. It's so irritating.
getting disabled over a period of time is so weird, because sometimes i’ll just see something, let’s say about running, and think “i should do that!” and then i slowly realise that i can’t run anymore. i can barely even walk. it’s weird because there wasn’t one event that happened that made me like it. there wasn’t a day where i woke up and couldn’t run anymore. it was slow and gradual. and sometimes i realise how much ive lost that i didn’t even realise because it all happened so gradually. sometimes it feels like yesterday i could run and today i can’t, and sometimes it feels like forever ago that i could.
I'm so upset. Even after meds, my heart keeps spazzing out. Which keeps knocking me out. I was supposed to get so much done today but my body said yeah F those plans, fren.... I want to cry.
My partner is on parent duty alone after working his overnight shift. I feel so worthless right now......
Big mood.... heat intolerance is why I can't go enjoy summer with my kids. (And sunlight/any bright light hurts my eyes soooo much)
No relaxing in the front yard while the kiddos explore their environment. At least not without another adult with me. Who can take over keeping the kids safe/monitored when I'm incapacitated.
I wanted to go to a birthday party for a friend's kid last year, and couldn't at the last minute. Why? I spent 5 minutes outside on a hot (normal) summer day and nearly fainted switching carseats/cars. I barely made it back into the house. It took from maybe 4pm that day until late afternoon/evening the NEXT DAY to recover.
She got angry. That I didn't show up when I said I would. I wanted to. I had planned to. But those 5 minutes in this heat intolerant pots body and I had no chance....
(She is one of two of my only abled friends. Both physically and mentally. She now fully understands it was due to my condition and not me disregarding her family/event on a whim. But that understanding took a long time and during which our friendship was strained bcuz how could I possibly not follow through with what I said. With what I planned.)
This shit sucks. It really does.
Shoutout to disabled people who's ability to leave the house is entirely dependent on the weather. It sucks.
This insane stormy weather we've had for the last 2 days straight is boosting me so much. This is MY weather ⛈🌩🥰
My body always feels better when it storms. My mood improves. My energy levels go up. It's like it's recharging me as it rages.
Love it.
hey if you’re disabled or chronically ill & have a hard time standing i want you to know that it’s ok to sit down when able bodied people wouldn’t or aren’t. not just in the context of using a wheelchair but just like. whenever. pull up a stool in front of the stove when you make mac & cheese. kneel on a chair in front of the sink when you’re washing the dishes. going outside to smoke/wait for a cab/whatever? pop a squat on the sidewalk/curb/stoop. get a shower chair. it’s not weird or shameful to minimize your pain & it’s not worth wasting spoons just because “normal people would do it standing up”