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Dickie And Jason Headcanons Pretty Please
dickie and jason headcanons pretty please
Everyone thinks Tim and Damian are a nightmare to have in a room together, but it's actually Dick and Jason. Tim and Damian still need to work through a thing or two and subconsciously pull their punches because of that, but Dick and Jason have no such thing. They've been siblings the longest and at this point it's an undisputed fact that they love each other, so there's zero limit to them being absolute menaces
They've been in a Toy Blast standoff since last year. Dick keeps speedrunning the levels and Jason keeps deleting the app from Dick's phone until he catches up
The bathroom switch in the Bludhaven apartment is outside the bathroom. Barbara kept telling Dick to get it changed and he kept procrastinating, so when Jason broke in and turned the lights off in the middle of Dick's shower, all Babs said from the other room was "Told you so"
Jason: "Alfred, tell Dick to quit breathing over my shoulder"
Dick: "Tell Jason to quit blocking the screen with his big helmet"
Alfred: "Sort it out yourselves, this is not in my job description"
Dick wrestled Jason for an Oreo but also gave him the comfier sleeping bag in the span of five minutes while they were on a stakeout
Jason is absolutely the sibling that chases Dick around the house with a knife for fun when Bruce and Alfred aren't around
Dick: "Get out of my room"
Jason, lurking outside the windowsill: "I'm not in your room"
Dick's outfits aren't truly considered nice until they pass the Jason Test, which is getting a "meh" instead of "you look like you were drawn by a fourth grader"
To brag that he got the last slice of pizza, Jason slapped it across Dick's face
The most accurate ruler in the world is the one they use to split the last candy bar (but Dick secretly lets Jason have an extra millimeter)
And the most accurate measuring cup is the one they divide the last of the apple juice with (though Jason generously gives Dick a few drops more)
The tension is palpable—even the Subway guy cutting their sandwich can feel it
Alfred sends them out to do yard work and they start sword-fighting with increasingly bigger sticks until Dick grabs a rake and Jason whips out the All-Blades
Jason: "I was here first!"
Dick: "I was born first!"
Jason: "I was adopted first!"
Dick has two Instagram accounts—Dick Grayson and Nightwing. Jason has three—Jason Todd, Red Hood, and the verified Nightwing
When the Cave is colder than usual, Jason brings Dick his favorite peppermint hot chocolate but always takes the first sip
Together they stole the bat-plane, flew to Lebanon for food, received a hefty fine after nearly colliding with a fighter jet, got a huge scratch on the side, paid someone under the table to fix it, and put it back where they found it in the span of Bruce debriefing the Justice League
Dick will go through Jason's leftovers, pick out what he likes, and leave the rest. Later he'll hear Jason walk out of the kitchen shouting "Who the FUCK took the shrimp out of my shrimp fried rice?!"
When they were kids Jason's bedtime was half an hour later than Dick's. Dick still has beef with Bruce about that
Dick is Player 1. Jason is Player 6 because the first time they played he grabbed a random controller from a box of dozen
Jason: "Help me bury this body"
Dick: "Sure"
Jason: "Also I need to delete all record of this guy's existence"
Dick: "Will do"
Jason: "And can you get me a drink?"
Dick: "Get it yourself"
When he first arrived, Jason was resistant to the idea of having an older sibling until he realized he has Younger Brother Privilege
Dick hides the remote with a sword swallowing trick and Jason hates it
They use texts for personal conversations, WhatsApp for vigilante business, and Snapchat for unhinged memery. It's like talking to 3 separate people
They also have their own text abbrevation: DTB (Don't tell Bruce)
They don't apologize, they just sulk in their rooms for a couple hours until Alfred calls them down for dinner and they forget all about it
Goon: "Who's that blue fella? Youse was fightin' real loud"
Jason: "Nightwing. He just pisses me off sometimes"
Goon: "I can take care of him"
Jason, lighting a cigarette: "Go ahead, I'll be here when you get your ass handed to you"
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I feel like they would do this on their journey 😆
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