Neverluckygoldfish - Chaotic Neutral

It's not your job to negotiate your worth to anyone.

I’ve made wishes on every 11:11 and all that’s ever happened is the clock changed to 11:12.

wishing you a safe return back to yourself

Rebecca Ross, Divine Rivals

24 -

I feel an itch to run away and start over. New identity, new personality, new life. I’m not attached to who I am or the things/people in my life. Maybe that’s a testament to my upbringing. Or maybe it’s the drugs/alcohol fucking with my brain and creating a fractured sense of self.

I believe that inherently, we have desires and values that guide us. However, as life changes so do we. We evolve.

I don’t want to be rooted down.

I want to fly far away, into the ether.

I feel this itch all. the. time.

I know you can’t run away from your problems because they are inside of you (for the most part). I’ve learned this the hard way.

But, I want to close the door on my life as it is and start fresh. I’m done being who I was - full of shame and no self-esteem.

From now on, I am not apologizing for my existence. I will confidently and assertively reap what is mine. If I make a mistake along the way, I have enough humility and self awareness to hold myself accountable.

I give myself grace to stumble, knowing I have the resilience to pick myself up and keep moving forward.

I have many great qualities and I have blinders, character defenses if you will. I am a human being.

I’m going to stop “waiting for my life to happen” because it is happening. Right now.