I Loved You.

I loved you.

Lee Jihoon one shot

Pairing: Lee Jihoon × Female reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: mention of pregnancy.

Word count: 1.5 K

[10:10 pm]

“SEVENTEEN’s Woozi announces marriage and Fiancée’s Pregnancy”

The first thing, I saw after opening tv, first I couldn't believe what I just saw and a sharp pain hit my chest, I was in unexplainable shock, unable to process anything, unable to process a single word that came out in news, my boyfriend, is about to get married with someone else, the man I love is going to get married, the man who never revealed our relationship to anyone because of our sake and now is announcing his marriage plans? How am I supposed to understand him? how? And the girl is pregnant with his child? How am I supposed to ask for an explanation from him?

Tears couldn’t stop falling, it was hurting, everything was a lie, everything, I believed was a lie, everything’s over, I was trying to hold him, trying to believe he is not doing anything behind me, it was a lie, everything was a lie, he was lie to me, he lied everything to me. How could he do this? I am afraid of everything, he is not here for me anymore, he is not mine, I am no one to him.

I turned off tv, I went back to out room, the bedroom we shared, together, the room I shared my everything with him, days like this he would come to me, hug me tight, comfort me, love me more, and sometimes I would just hug him tight when I am happy and we would have Friday movie nights.

Everything looked so dark, the night looked so dark there was no moonlight, everything looked so dark here, my tears didn’t want to stop any soon, everything felt so wrong, so empty and everything was hurting, I was being lied and I didn’t catch, he broke my trust, all the trust I put on him with my everything.

I told myself so many times to ask him, try to think maybe there’s really something wrong but one smile, one kiss and one ‘I am okay, there’s nothing wrong, love’, ‘I love you, love’ was enough to make me believe him everytime i thought there's something wrong. everything we spend with eachother was all a lie, it was just a house of cards build with lies.

Ever since we started dating, I knew it was house of cards but never thought it would turn into house of lies, everything was a lie, where did everything go so wrong that I am suffering like this. why can’t he come and say “This is all a lie, Alex. Don’t believe in anything but just me”

I tried standing up, I looked at the room; full of our pictures, I went to near my study table and picked my favorite photo frame, it was clicked on our 2nd anniversary, he wanted to click pictures to save it as a memory, I was holding it tight and threw it with all my force. The glass broke and scattered on the floor, even this couldn’t explain how devastated I was and what are my emotions right now. I threw all the things which were kept near the table, there was only one voice audible in this whole house, that was mine saying “This can’t be happening, tell me everything is a lie right now.”

I can’t accept this, I can’t accept this from him, how could he when I gave him all of me? When I loved him so much and I still love him, but his love ruined me, I can’t think straight and accept the fact he is not mine anymore, how can he do this with, not him out of all the people in this whole world. His love made me weak, his lies work on me and they still will, if he says it’s a lie I will believe him, that’s how I ruined myself with his love. Everything’s over for us, and I can’t stop blaming myself for everything, why Woozi why, tell me why?!

I broke all the photo frames we had in our room, everything was just a lie, I meant nothing to him, never meant anything to him. he didn’t had to hit and run on me like this, he didn’t had to do this to me. I hate everything, I hate him.

I fell on floor, near the window, everything looked like a mess, I am a mess, how did things turn like this, since when? How did everything turn into this big mess and I can’t fix it anymore. I brought knees together and buried my head, my heart was still aching.

I don’t know how much time passed when I heard his voice “Alex~” calling my name. I still long for his voice which calls my name. it made me cry more, I couldn’t hold my silent cries anymore, I can’t lie myself that everything will be okay soon.

“Alex why is everything so dar-

He switched on the light, his sentence stopped midway, I was unable to look at him, not after all this.

“Love are you okay? What’s all this?” how brave of him to ask me, if I am okay or not and what’s all this, how can he hurt me like this? how? I tried lifting up my head to face him, he was still wearing the same what he wore in the morning, the white tee and black pants, he looked worried, why? He was still standing at the door.

“when was it over?” I was trembling, I was not okay, I was crying and shouting, only I know how much it hurts, he have no idea because I am the one who is hurting.

“what are you saying Alex?” he was coming towards me, I know he will make me go weak, his voice will again lie to me and I will accept that lie knowing it was  my weakness, he was my weakness.

“When was it over Woozi?! Reply me” I couldn’t help but to scream, my screams made him pause there.

“I am done with your lies, I can’t keep on building this with your lies anymore. I can’t, I am a human, I have feelings too! and they are all for you” I broke down again I was trying not to cry but how am I supposed to not feel hurt and miserable?

“5 months ago” he heaved a sign, his voice was nearly inaudible. Deep down I was hoping that he would tell me, he lied and all of this was lie and he loves me only and no one else.

I tried standing up, walked towards him, glass was scattered all over the floor, I tried looking at him, I wanted to hug him, feel his warmth, want him to tell me that’s it’s a lie, want to kiss him forever but how can I? he belongs to someone else now.

“Do you love her?” I gathered up courage to ask him,

“Yes.” That was my limit, my everything, he proved me that everything was a lie.

I crossed the ocean of my mind, but in the end; I drown, you push me down

I felt pain, when you came today. I can’t start again, I can’t try to hold you back again, I will put an end to everything right now because we are over.

“Woozi”

“Alex, I can-

Before he could continue, I shut him with a kiss, my tears started falling down, I was being selfish right now, but how could I stop myself, my hands went to his neck, I couldn’t think straight, it felt like my world was collapsing. I let him go, and removed my hands.

“this is our goodbye kiss Woozi, please be happy with her”

“Alex-”

“I saw everything Woozi, you have to take her of her and your child which is with her. Everything was a lie woozi, the house of card I made, collapsed, I can’t fake try to build it anymore. I am tried woozi, I am tired”

“Please go because if you don’t, I don’t think I can let you go anymore. You didn’t had to lie to me, you could’ve just left me, was I that easy for you? Tell me? That you had to disclose it infront of everyone that you are getting married with someone else when you couldn't say a single thing about me to anyone?”

“How could I hurt you, I loved you”

“You loved me, you don’t love me anymore woozi, LEAVE ME, PLEASE GO AWAY, YOU LEFT ME, YOU LIED TO ME EVERYTHING WAS A LIE” I pushed him out of the room, I stepped on a piece of glass, the pain hit me hard, I screamed in pain,

“AHH”

“Alex”

“Don’t touch me, go away, you lied, you cheated me, go away woozi please, leave me, and don’t ever come see me again. We weren’t meant for eachother anyway, go woozi go to the love of your life.”

“Nothing hurts me anymore, let’s not meet ever again, you and me are over” I was crying, I knew how much courage I had to gather up to say this to him, he started stepping back, I saw him leaving our house, which was our happy home once.

“I loved you woozi and will love you till the end”

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[ stone cold sober ] — p: hwang hyunjin x gender-neutral reader, g: angst, w: first-person perspective, w.c.: 0.8k

notes: for @nosebleedclub’s august prompt iii, ex. i wrote this back in 2019 as a means to cope with a failed relationship. let’s just say it’s addressed to hyunjin, yeah?

ten months in and you’re still my favorite person to talk about. heck, if someone asks about you, i’d go on talking forever. maybe it’s because i still find the idea of you mesmerizing. you know how i’ve always had a fascination towards the mysterious - things that always kept me second guessing. fucking hell have i never meant someone as mysterious as you.

i know we talked for hours on end back then. you told me things you never told anybody else. come to think of it, i nearly thought i made it past your walls. you deluded me into thinking i’ve decoded you, that i’ve somehow figured you out. looking back on it now, it feels as if i’ve barely scratched the surface.

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Love me again

Pairing : Reader x Jungkook

Genre : Angst

Status : Ongoing

Warning : Mature content

Chapter 1

8:00 AM

The abruptly fresh sunlight hitting my face, I slowly blinked my eyes open and then quickly rushed in to do all my morning activities. I had a job interview at the night club, recently I've been doing multiple part times and this is going to be my third job in line.

I casually dressed myself because being fancily dressed was never my concern. I put on my white crop tee, black ripped skinny jeans under, a denim jacket and a converse to complete my overly look. I took the subway and entered the club and met the manager near the counter; Successfully after getting the job, the manager told me to start working right away.

After working for 2 hours nearly I saw a couple entering the bar with the man's hands around the girl's waist. The said man pulled the girl on top of his lap and they started making out. I never troubled myself with others business so I just casually ignored them and got busy with my job. I mean at this point it was a normal thing for me to encounter kids of my age sucking on e/o's face around the corner, Sucks to be me but Nevermind. While serving the booze to the already wasted folks I turned around to see the man from what I remember was dry humping on the half naked girl kept approaching towards my counter.

I must say the man was responsible for global warming perhaps, the hotness could legit set the room on fire. Straight off the bat I would have to say this man is hella attractive, his ripped torso was enough to make anyone drool over. Shaking away my thoughts,

"Sir, what do you like to have?" I asked.

"Are you on the menu?" He said, with the flirty smirk pasted on his face.

I looked at him for a solid 5 sec in utter disbelief, contemplating how to deal with the situation; as per my job I gotta behave formal with the customers. Not to mention my ill humor in the most inappropriate timing, " Sorry Sir, we don't practice cannibalism here." It came out right off but I wasn't sorry about it though. This man was surely trying to get into my pants. Shaking my head in disgust I looked away from him to continue taking orders. To my knowledge the man was quiet offended because of my ignorance; I let him be.

Suddenly a hand gripped on my wrist and dragged me away from the counter to the nearby restroom.

" what the fuck do you think you're doing you-" I gritted my teeth frustrated.

He shushed me with his finger on my lips, " Don't you think you're being a bit rude, babygirl." He whispered to me in the ears.

"DUDE! WHAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? GET OFF ME." I slapped away his hands off me and tried to get away but he pulled me by the arms and the next thing I remember was being pinned down against the wall and him nuzzling into my neck; holding me tightly yet gently into his embrace. I was surprised to see how soft this man was; from what I see, he was too drunk to think straight. He started kissing down my neck; I panicked and I tried pushing him harder yet he didn't budge. He kept mumbling something, "Sarah, please don't leave, You won't leav-"

I pushed him off me finally with all my strength.

" Boi! If you don't stop, your girlfriend will surely leave you if she sees us like this."

I turned away to leave; I found the girl who was with him earlier; I dashed towards her to tell her to take his already wasted boyfriend back home. From what I saw she was already busy making out with some random guy.

Interesting, I thought. I felt two hands snaking around my waist gently back hugging me from behind, his chin tenderly placed on my shoulder; he snuggled into me.

"Dude you girlfriend is legit kis-" he cut me down with a shush.

" Do you mind, if I hold you like this for a bit? Please." He said

"I-". I couldn't seem to process the situation; I never seem to bother about other's business and a little skinship won't impregnate me (Sarcasm intended) so yeah! Have the time of your life.

Standing there for what felt like quite a while, he started sobbing.

" Wt-, You want me to carry you home or what?!" I spoke in frustration. I had enough of this grown ass crybaby.

He started clinging on to me.

"Aghhhh!! I swear to God, you're gonna regret this later."

"Take me home, I am tired." He spoke sluggishly

" What do you think of me as, Your Nanny??" Istg this man.

Not minutes after I saw the manager was passing through the restroom, " Ah! That's my knight in shining armour, SIRRR!!!" I yelled out like my life depends on it.

Soon after he saw me and rushed in to help me for what I guessed but-

" SIR!!! YOU ALRIGHT?!!" he started freaking out.

I mean, my shoulders are about to dislocate from carrying around this muscle pig and this man is worried about the wasted fellow instead, Great.

" Ah sir, would you mind helping me ou-"

" What are you doing, just drop him off to his apartment" He shouted at me, scribbling down the address and handing over it to me. I was heck confused, why me? He could have asked anyone else, whatever. He better pay me extra for making me do the sideline job.

I quickly gathered all my stuff; booked a cab and headed towards the aforementioned address. After reaching the apartment I quickly carried him out of the cab; had his limbs supported around my shoulders and me briefly holding onto his torso.

"This man is ripped af."

Getting into his apartment I lied him down on his king sized bed.

///Third person Pov///

Y/N was about to leave, she felt a strong grip holding her back; on looking back she found him fumbling, " please stay."

For an instance she was actually considering to stay with the stranger; being said she never had anyone to tell her if she could not leave but stay. Squatting down beside his bed she looked at him closely; his distress, his fear of being left alone, his heartbreak everything about him was painful. Never had she felt the emotion, never had she wanted to be this close to anyone, why now? Her heart is trembling seeing the stranger shedding tears for someone he dearly loved.

Everything was so new to her, she wondered if anyone would ever want her this dearly? If she was worthy of love?

To be continued...

the cry pile. | han jisung

pairing: han jisung x reader

genre: fluff and angst, hurt/comfort (?), friendship

description: trying to tell who you thought was kim seungmin that his club application did not go through, the boy who ended up greeting you in the classroom turned out to be han jisung, a friend you’ve ghosted for years.

word count: 5.1k +

author’s note: just a little drabble i thought about and decided to write, maybe i’ll write more about the club for self-indulgent purposes. it’s been difficult these days.

It has been a while since you have last talked to Jisung.

Apparently, the promise you two made back in elementary school to stay friends forever, and his continuously patient and kind gestures towards you, weren’t strong enough to overpower your overwhelming issues with self-worth and hidden insecurities.

You two drifted apart sometime during middle school. You knew very well because you purposefully distanced yourself away after he found a group of new friends you weren’t able to get close to. You never tried, but you knew even if you did, you weren’t on par with their kinds of people.

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