Now I Wanna See A Wizard Cook And Use His Gun To Stir His Soup

Now i wanna see a wizard cook and use his gun to stir his soup

Everyone thought that the mass-production of Firearms would render Magic obsolete in battle, but Spellcasters have adapted. Instead of casting from a wand, most mages now cast from their gun.

Me: *dies and arrives in front of Hades*

Hades: yeah you’re going straight to Tartarus.

Me: what? But i’ve never done anything bad enough to get sent there !

Hades: *pulls out this post*

Me: yeah fair enough

Me: *dies and arrives in front of Hades*

Hades: So. Crushed by a bookshelf, huh ?

Me: yeah but that’s not the point. Wanna hear my best pickup line ?

Hades: um, sure ?

Me: When they die a lot of people go down to you but now that i’m dead imma go down on you. *winks and does finger guns*

Persephone: *throws me down to tartarus* Ain’t no way i’m letting you flirt with my husband, bitch.

Hell yeah i did

Achilles: *walks outside shirtless*

Agamemnon: “Hey topless”

Achilles: *starts violently sobbing and has to be physically restrained from killing Agamemnon*

“You don’t have to rub it in that Patroclus is dead !”

Agamemnon: “…what”

Patroclus, in ghost form: “drag him babe”

You may be in her dms, but i’m throwing figs at him to get him to notice me. We aren’t on the same level.

-Achilles about Patroclus, probably

Fine then i’ll put on your armour and go myself

after another day of getting Owned by #trojans and getting yelled at by #commanders nothing beats coming home to patroclus and playing lyre

Oh no you are about to board one hell of a train wreck my friend

what’s this song of achilles?