James: I Thought You Didn't Like Getting Wet.Meowth: I'm Always Up For A Dip In Your Pool, Jimmy.

James: I thought you didn't like getting wet. Meowth: I'm always up for a dip in your pool, Jimmy.

Nobody will tag me but I'll just answer anyway because Just Post

some of these don't even have titles yet

fuck: A fic that's sort of a send-up of this one Cori Falls fic called "Where Angels Dare to Tread" (I don't know why but this fic made such an impact on baby Pokéfan me and I need to exorcise it from my brain by writing this). It would be inspired by the same Pokémon episode "Control Freak," where Jessie gets drunk with power after finding a magical staff. That would still happen in this fic, but Jessie would have a bit more to do than just wait for James to rescue her.

The evil queen doesn't take over her body (at least not yet; she only appears to Jessie whenever she looks at a reflective surface). The queen whispers poisonous thoughts in Jessie's ear, trying to nudge her over to the dark side, making the idea of taking over the world seem like a reasonable and noble act rather than the violation of autonomy that it definitely would be. Lots of talk of Pokémon being divinely ordained to be humans' slaves rather than their friends, bringing order to the world, purifying it, and needing a strong iron fist to do so. Jessie is in danger of becoming Darth Vader (with her Palpatine queen), but with a bunch of powerful Pokémon.

James and Meowth have to go to the abandoned tower to which Jessie has followed the dark call and convince her not to give in to the queen's ideas for world domination. But Meowth starts to fall under the dark spell of the queen in a similar way to Jessie. Even worse, he can be controlled by the queen's staff.

James will get magical powers (but not due to Wicca, I'm pretty sure the Pokémon world's religions are not the same as our world's) but they might be temporary. Complicating matters, James is pregnant with Meowth's kittens. This might allow Jessie to control him to some extent with the queen's staff. Jessie would definitely figure this out. Then she starts wanting to force James to birth armies of (possibly magical) talking Meowth kittens to help carry out the world domination plan.

Basically, Jessie and Meowth fall down the fascism Diglett hole and James has to pull them out. I would reread the tale of Tam Lin and Bonny Janet, shotgun the entire Song of Ice and Fire series, and listen to "Running Up that Hill" by Kate Bush, "The Mother We Share" by Chvrches, and "Witch in the Ditch" by Erasure on a loop as additional inspiration.

marry: a re-write of my oldfic "The Book of Moltres James" (posted here) in which James makes Moltres his god and joins a cult called the Moltres Witnesses. I would try to be less religiously clueless and this rewrite would focus more on how people can fall into cults so easily when they're in a vulnerable place. It wouldn't be a fix-fic and there would probably be less blood-drinking.

kill: This crack ass fic I can't stop thinking about that's basically Twilight, but Meowth is Edward, James is Bella, and Jessie is a cross between Carlisle and Emmet (she has medical knowledge and she likes punching things). I want to stop writing it and put it in a drawer, but it keeps. Pulling. Me. B̴̛̛̻̘̯̫͎̰̤͇̱̦͌́̊̀̈́̋́̀A̵̡̡̝͚̙̲͓̠͈̩͍̘̼̘̖̯̰͒͋́͆̾͐͒̑͐͆͊̋͘̕͠Ç̷̉̂̇̒̈̀̉̋̀̕K̵̢̨͍͈̩̼͔̲͔͓̣̣̫͙̩̟̒̈́͐͜

Wow, this was a long ass post.

I don't really know anyone to tag. If I did, I would do it here.

new ask game: fuck/marry/kill but it's for your WIPs

fuck - the story you just want to read instead of having to write it yourself

marry - the story you're obsessed with writing and never want to stop working on or thinking about

kill - the story you're most frustrated with and would rather just put in the trash (or maybe just on a high shelf somewhere so you can forget about it for a really long time)

blood is so cool

this is becoming a strange recurrence

Spicy blueshipping haiku below the cut. Warning: it gets way too realistic about what experiences mpreg might entail.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Meowth loves round things.

James is pregnant and randy.

You can do the math.

-O-o-O-

Their white tomorrow:

Meowth is filling James up

Like a cream pastry.

-O-o-O-

Weezing's Sludge attack

Compares not to the might of

James, font of vomit.

-O-o-O-

James puked on himself.

"This shade is not my color;

Clashes with my hair."

-O-o-O-

The queen has cravings.

Chocolate-basted tuna.

Also beef jerky.

-O-o-O-

The queen's belly swells

Over the course of nine weeks.

Kittens incoming.

-O-o-O-

Wispy lightning bolts

Caress the queen's omphalos.

The cat nestles close.

-O-o-O-

Nourishing white pearls

Drip from James's tender teats.

The queen feeds their spawn.

-O-o-O-

can these even be called haiku anymore or are they a disgrace

'Shipping is such an unnatural way of consuming media' When I was 5 yrs old before we had a home computer, I pretended my orange crayon and my pink crayon were married bc I liked how they looked together. Fucking relax.

Do you think Satan stays in Hell because Earth's too cursed, even for him?

the goal is: create the most cursed poll and highlight why proper sexual education is necessary