I Feel Incredibly Heartless, But Not In A Way That Hurts Me, Only Those Who Are More Sensitive And Well

I feel incredibly heartless, but not in a way that hurts me, only those who are more sensitive and well meaning than I am.

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I also often wonder why people don’t approach me, even when I feel like they may be interested. Am I unapproachable? Or is it just because I am good at deflecting things when I feel too involved. Like how people get nervous with intense eye contact, I get nervous with intentional behavior?

I think my favorite discovery thus far in 2024 is that the only person forcing me to be an extrovert is myself and I have no obligation to be so. Also, I am not heartless, I just have an emotional family.

If gas was free I think I would just drive all the time. I could just listen to music and drive through pretty land and pretend like I don’t exist. Also, maybe if my car’s check engine light didn’t come on whenever I drive for too long.