Our Experience As A Polyfragmented System Is Very Complex, Sometimes Too Complex To Even Understand It

Our experience as a polyfragmented system is very complex, sometimes too complex to even understand it ourselves

Curiously the alters topics is one of the least problems when talking about our polyfragmentation. As the host I tend to forget most of the time the alters part here, though I'm aware a lot of the things that I struggle with are because of alters in some kind of degree. Things like passive influence, semi front control, dissociation and amnesia are very attached to the alters, but most of the time I'm not aware of that or I don't care

It also enters the crowded front thing, we have multiple "fronting rooms" which are spaces that en't the inner world but some kind of in between there and front, imagine it like the console area from Inside out. It's almost impossible for us to tell all the alters who are fronting and conscious because of this and without direct interaction is very difficult to say "This alter is fronting with me" because I don't feel them most of the time

The low split tolerance is also pretty shitty as we tend to split fragments that have such ridiculous functions like "having panic attacks when I don't find my shoes immediately" and most of this time they don't front at all or very rarely, sometimes fragmentation isn't attached to a function and there are literal blank canvas roaming the inner world, we feel their presences sometimes and it's very scary, knowing we split a lot for "dumb" reasons and some of those fragments are just waiting the moment to gain an appearance and function that might not even be related to the reason they split off

We function in a very specific way that's scary, all is based on your rank and hierarchy, alters don't tend to care for each other and only do their job and try to stay the best they can, we're not only scare of ourselves like scare of other alters, but scare of what the brain can and will do

A lot of trauma and abuse is being repeated with ourselves, tha brian tries to make sure everyone behaves according to what was conditioned to us, basing it on the abuse and horrible things we experience, so it's not a surprise to see alters perpetrate the same abuse and make sure we follow what we learned

Being a polyfragmented system isn't only not being you and beings scare of that, is having there's a lot that's hiding and it's being censored to you because of your role and rank and you know is shit

This is a little kinda a ventish ig? Mostly because our experience is really horrible and hard to take. You can put our name or put us anon, we really don't care

Polyfrag systems!

We are writing a blog entry about our polyfragmentation, but we want to hear and include other presentations in our writing!

Please rb or comment your experiences along with if you want to remain anon

The sad part about having tumblr mutuals is feeling disconnected from them 😭

Everytime I see I'm mutual with some tumblr user/blog and they don't interact with me or the blog I feel so... Strange /neg

I want to unfollow those blogs because it makes me uncomfy, like sure, I have 3 mutuals that do interact with me and we have a nice friendship, but outside them I feel like I'm a stranger with the other ones-

But at the same time I don't want to unfollow them because if I do it's for one reason...

Hi tumblr mutuals, please interact TT /nf

Please? Thx :)

Hi yeah anti endoooooos how about you mfs be normal about being anti Endo instead of being heavily ableist? That'd be nice.

Like, systems are so hype and calling octocon the best app and solution when it's pretty... Meh 😐

Simply Plural has way better functions and things because is more developed, plus Octocon has a lot of bugs and it's unfinished and it's pretty new for me ??? /neu

Asking a system to stop using SP and change to Cotocon is wild, I would never, I don't like how Octocon is right now, and because of some features that won't be added for me is probably a forever no-no

Octocon is not perfect because is still in developing, I think it would be a lot better for the app to release when it wasn't full of bugs and all the basic functions that you can look they function properly, but that's a me thought :p

I think all the hype and emotion surrounding it is just because it's anti endo and... I don't give a shit about that, endos are probably gonna use it anyway so... I don't see a point for it

If it's not broken don't fix it

We feel strange because everyone is super mega happy for octocon, people are moving there and saying it's a super good alternative for SP and all that

But we don't like it :/

We'll continue in SP because we don't like Octocon, there a features that I would want to be added but it's already specified it won't, it lacks a lot of functions (I know they're gonna update it but still) and the interface kinda feel like it's too... Strange in a way that don't like

Cool for other systems, not cool for us... Gonna stick with Simply Plural maybe forever

Update us if octocon updates and becomes better, but for now SP still the winning app lmao

I'm so cool I have my own blog, you see guys??

«Blog Intro»

Hi there random on the internet, or maybe someone that I know that it's seeing my blog because for a strange fucking reason they like me??

Though I'm the one who post more in the main blog @persmo I feel like I needed and I wanted my own blog, mostly to not flood that blog with my shit lol

I love to curse and as I say in my blog description I'm considered a hypocrite semi-problematic questionable alter and this is my semi-problematic hypocrite questionable blog... You wanna know more about me and the blog? Sure, let's dive into it

About the blog

Probably gonna do a tags masterlist for you to not what to filter tag, the reason? Well let me give you a little list of what kind of content I might post here

Dark humor, I FUCKING LOVE DARK HUMOR

Jokes about my trauma and problems

Mention or talking about serious and/or triggering topics

My opinions, might be problematic or seems as hypocrite

My thoughts, the same thing as above

Discourse posts but not being open to have a discourse chat about it (Only if I said so)

(If I do I'm gonna update this)

I don't filter myself most of the time when doing posts, but I do take accountability if I did wrong and hurt people

I'm 100% open minded so don't assume things about me and I'm conscious I can be wrong, just my actitud reads "I do not give a shit anymore" and that's right, I don't most of the time lol

I'm just a chaotic little persecutor who wants to have fun and has a very strange mind, deal with it or block me, I don't want fucking problems, and if you do tell me shit I'm gonna answer it laughing about it, no one can hate me more than I do LMAO

I fluent in spanish and english so expect some random posts to be in spanish (They're gonna be the minority, I don't like spanish at all but because it's my native language I have to stick with it ugh /neg)

Sometimes I'll post art that I did, drawings and narrative so beware

I might have some NSFW posts, but they're obviously gonna be tagged correspondingly, so please filter your tags when being in this blog, interact at your own responsibility, I do tag, I'm not responsible for you not filter tagging or ignoring the posts

About me

My name's Namelnom but you can call me Namel for short (NEVER EVER CALL ME NAME OK???) or you can give me a nickname. Some friends call me the fucking traumatized gay and tbh that's me fr, I do not mind that kind of names xD

Do not call me human, I'm aware the body's human but I'm not, I'm a non human alter who their identity also falls into the therian and otherkin ID, I'm so far away from being human that I'm a-ok with some dehumanizing jokes

Besides from host I'm also: Problematic alter, multolder, janusian, subsys-admin... And I won't be giving out more details lol

My basic list of pronouns from what I use/like most to the less used is: He/It/They/Xem/Persm/Coffeself/Purpleself/Robotself/Wolfself But you can use any pronouns that's not feminine, feminine aligned or feminine related... And pink, this includes she/her and neo/xeno pronouns that fall into that category

My queer labels are plenty so... Gender ID: Transmasc, GNC, Dya Man, Concefaun, Void Gender, Implagender Orientations: Oriented AroAce, AegoAroAce, Apothiosexual, Cupioromantic, Devoromantic, Fidesqueerplatonic, Panqueerplatonic, Demi-Sensual, Omniaesthetic Others: Polyqueerplatonic, Ambiamorous, Hyperased, T4T, ND4ND, AroAce4AroAce Probably gonna make a more in depth post about this, if I do I'm gonna link it here for you to see easily

Because they're here and probably gonna be the only ones to see my blog /hj I'm giving a honor mention to my son and my platonic husband!! I love them so much 💜 (Guys if you see this please tell me if it's ok for me to tag you out here)

Also some other misc info about me is:

As I previously said I'm otherkin, therian and otherlink, I have my suspicions about other things but, hey, I don't have the energy to read about them

I'm atheist satanist meaning I follow the satanist philosophy and commandments but I don't believe in satan nor worship him

I'm anti-genderist tho I might do some jokes about gender and that kind of shit lmao

Not in a religious way but I'm animistic (Hope I'm writing it correctly lol) meaning I have the strong and firm believe that everything is alive, have emotions and a soul, yes, objects and inanimate things too

Anarcho queer, deal with it or fuck it, I do not care anymore for activism nor I'm part of the LGBTQIA+ community

I have A LOT of shipping and shipper labels, I'm not gonna say a lot about this in this blog but have that in mind

I have ginofobia, no, I'm not sexis or misoginist, I'm just a traumatized fucker who developed a phobia because of trauma, deal with it or block me

I'm pro-abortion, you don't like that? Cry about it

Boundaries

I'm 100% ok with answering asks of almost all kind, just nothing that's too explicit because I don't want that in my blog, tho I normally can stand that lol

Go ahead and interact all you want, juts have in mind that if you want to have a talk or a debate or something similar around some topic I mentioned in some post or you want me to give out an opinion of something sure you can, just respect that sometimes I won't be entering and having those talks because I simply don't want to

Do not assume we're friends if I haven't tell you we are, I tend to act like I'm friends with everyone when that's not true at all

OTI (Ok to interact)

A-normative people (Neurodivergent, queer, POC, etc.)

People with CDD (I know they're a-normative but still lol)

Open minded people

People who are "cringe" and just have fun

Likes dark humor

Artists and writers

Thin Ice

Neurotypicals (Like, don't having any disorder or neurodivergence)

Straight & cis people

Anime fans, otakus or any kind of people who it's like asian multimedia obsessed (Trauma goes brr)

Women (Trauma goes brr x2)

Darkshippers who don't put TW and censor to access the content

DNI (Do not interact)

Basic DNI (homophobics, transphobics, racist, classist, ableists, etc.)

Pro-life people

TERFS & radqueers (Yeah I'm putting them together because for me they're like equal shit)... Also, any kind of extremists

Fakes mental disorders for x or y reason

Stigmatize disorders

People with a savior complex and/or who feel morally superior

Closed mind people

Darkshippers who romanticize that shit

Fugoshis and fundashis (Any kind of people who fetichies/sexualizes gay/lesbian relationships)

People who think because they're part of a minority they can't discriminate ("I'm trans I can't be homophobic" " I'm POC I can't be racist", etc.)

Anti-shippers, like in general

Anti therian, otherkin and alterhuman

Anti any kind of content that's sen "cringe"

Doesn't take accountability and/or makes up excuses

Userboxes

When I finish the rest I'm gonna add the rest of my userboxes, at least the rest that are important to have here (I only like using my own made userboxes sorry not sorry ig?)

Probably I'm gonna make a post just to hoard all my userboxes lmao

Me too! You guys seem so cool :3

The sad part about having tumblr mutuals is feeling disconnected from them 😭

Everytime I see I'm mutual with some tumblr user/blog and they don't interact with me or the blog I feel so... Strange /neg

I want to unfollow those blogs because it makes me uncomfy, like sure, I have 3 mutuals that do interact with me and we have a nice friendship, but outside them I feel like I'm a stranger with the other ones-

But at the same time I don't want to unfollow them because if I do it's for one reason...

Hi tumblr mutuals, please interact TT /nf