I Don't Know If You Ever Truly Loved Me.

I don't know if you ever truly loved me.

I think you wanted to love me.

before I actually got attached.

after I did you realized a relationship was something you actually had to work at.

you love bombed me.and you can't take it back.

even if it wasn't intentional I believe that's what happened.

I don't want to paint myself out as a victim.

I know I wasn't the best either.

but give me a little credit.

I was the one who still started a conversation.

even though I'd be left on delivered for hours or opened for days.

I guess you were always too busy to make that time for me.

Which is fine.

live your life how you want to.

do as many things as you want to.

You deserve to focus on things that matter.

but you couldn't just expect me to wait around for you.

Especially when you couldn't even express anything towards me.

Other than your annoyance to my nagging or anger to my need.

That's not how a relationship works.

But I really wanted us to work.

You were my best friend.

My person. I

know you already know this but I still think about you.

I really know I shouldn't but I do.

I cant help it.

The heartache is still there.

but it doesn't hurt the same anymore.

My world doesn't revolve around.

I don't think about it as often.

But it's still there.

Maybe it always will be.

I really really really really wanted it to be you.

I guess I just wasn't good enough.

Was I?

I wanna sleep my life away

i wish I didn't have to sexualize myself to feel wanted