Poppywriter - 𝑷𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒚 🍁

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There was a long break between the time I wrote the first entry and this one. So I decided that after this opinion piece about writing in a foreign language I will probably in the near future publish a longer and more personal entry that I wrote in order to “catch up” on my mental health :)

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❀ Pansy n°2 = I love English.

It is true, I do love the English language.

In fact, today I am in my first year of college and I follow a course in English Literature and Civilisations. So basically I am studying this language in depth. It feels great as, when I started this journal, it was the only thing I was wishing for but it is a lot harder than I thought…

Anyway, it is definitely not what I want to write about.

What I want to speak of, to let my mind wander to, is how I find it easier to express myself, my thoughts, my mindset, my feelings in English rather than in my mother tongue. I find it so strange yet fascinating and a bit logical. Actually, I have been told (or I have read somewhere but can’t remember where) it is a fact that bilingual people describe their emotions and communicate in their learned language with more ease. I find it quite logical as we have learned precise words and ways to express peculiar and specific events, feelings,... We have a whole new and fresh vocabulary imprinted in our minds so it feels like we have more words to clearly express something. Moreover, it creates more distance between us and the problems or feelings we’re facing.

I personally relate to this a lot.

I think it might be enhanced by the fact that I read more in English as well. So in a way, my literary vocabulary is more extended in English. I consume a lot of English entertainment. Songs, books, movies, series, fanfictions…

My mind even works in English. I think, speak and dream in English. Weirdly, it just comes naturally.

When I write or read in my mother tongue things just feel cringe and wrong, like there’s always a better way to say those things. Sometimes I think of sayings and expressions in English which are perfect for what I am trying to say but, it has to be in my mother tongue and it either doesn’t have an equivalent or even if it has, I feel like it loses a bit of its meaning. It is truly complicated, especially when I talk with people and only English vocabulary comes to my mind. Moreover, as an aspiring writer and translator, I cannot and do not want to lose connection with my mother tongue. I have to practice it and feel more comfortable with it. And when I successfully write in my native language, I cannot express how proud I feel. It just is awesome to see that I am capable of writing beautiful and meaningful things in this language that I feel so uneasy with.

Yet, I feel that sometimes it is an enormous struggle to communicate with others when I can’t speak with them with some english words and expressions. Like I said, more than often I have english words which come to my mind and it is hard to find how to say it in my native language. The worst is, when I struggle and people tell me to just say as I think, they end up mocking me and saying things like “Oh excuse me ! Madame only speaks English !” It makes me feel awful as people clearly think I am trying to expose my good english. Like I am pompous, conceited, arrogant… And it is very much what I don’t want people to think of me. Even though I am, in fact, proud of the quality of my English - written and spoken - I don’t want people to see me as someone who thinks too highly of herself.

ANYWAY. I enjoy writing in english. I enjoy speaking in english. And I will not stop practicing this language.

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🔺Original work, please do not steal or copy. Thanks.🔺

- notify me if there are typos ;)

𝐺𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑟, 𝐼’𝑚 𝓟𝓸𝓹𝓹𝔂.

Wise, Calm and Gifted in interpreting visions as well as nature’s signs, I have been chosen to be my small’s village Oracle and great Sage.

My main task is to protect the village from upcoming disasters, and to do so I spend most of my time being a scribe - writing down all the prophecies I see.

Moreover, I am the one towards whom everyone turns to when a tough decision has to be taken.

I own a great staff made out of wood covered in lichen and a variety of mushrooms.

(Its tip is shaped like a fountain pen or a glass dip pen.)

I’m often seen wearing a white flowy gown, with puffy sleeves. It can be seen as a nightgown, and I don’t mind it as I love the comfort and appreciate the occasional naps I can take dressed as such.

What makes up my whole outfit though, is the great mushroom hat that I constantly wear. Very rarely will you see me without it. Few people know what my eyes look like as they are always obscured by my short wavy brown hair and hat.

I hope to see you again traveler.

In the foreseeable future you might find and read one of my prophecies ;).

𝐹𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑙𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦.

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Credits to :

- @bradlyvancamp - for the staff

- The sweet person with the mushroom hat painted on (I couldn’t find their name :/)

- The designer who made the dress and mushroom hat.

- Sara Kipin - 50 Fairies, the fairies silhouettes I found to draw mine.

—> everything found on Pinterest + post made on Canva 👍🏻

You can see individual versions of my favorite drawings of Poppy (me lol) just after this text !

Follow me for more updates <3

𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘥’𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳.

- 𝘗𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘺 🍁🍄

🔺Original work, please do not steal or copy. Thanks. 🔺

You will find here a list of all my projects/stories that I posted. -> edited each time I add chapters ;) 🔺All of my work is original, please do not steal or copy. If anything might seem plagiarized it is an unwanted coincidence, please notify me. Thanks :)🔺

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🍄 - 𝓜𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓮, 𝓟𝓸𝓹𝓹𝔂

My lovely persona &lt;3

Meet the artist.

🪻- 𝑷𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔

Introduction

Pansy n°1 = F*cking writer’s block.

Pansy n°2 = I love English.

Pansy n°3 = "I'm tired".

Pansy n°4 = A little catch up.

Pansy n°5 = Reality ? No thanks...

Pansy n°6 = Oneiric inspiration.

Pansy n°7 = My mind's safe space.

Pansy n°8 = Who are my / our Husbandos ?

Pansy n°9 = I'm "over"-everything.

☎️ - 𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂 𝓗𝓸𝓽𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮

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ℍ𝕚 𝕋𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕣 !

It's nice to meet you with this introduction post :)

The school year is coming to an end so I have more time to post and take care of my writer accounts (Instagram id = @_poppywriter_).

I don't know how to draw so I used Canva to finally take part in this (old) tiktok trend :/

I'd love to get to know you more too, so comment some facts about you ! :)

I have some posts already prepared so I'll try to be regular in posting !

𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, some new work is coming up, don't forget to check that out ;3

Lots of love ❤️

- 𝘗𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘺🍁🍄

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This chapter tackles subjects that can be sensitive to some readers, please do not interact if you are uncomfortable.

⚠️ Warning : depiction of depressive behavior and obsessive thoughts.

Read at your own risk. - Beaucoup d’amour, Poppy.

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❀ Pansy n°5 = Reality ? No, thanks…

When life feels too bland, one’s mind can do wonders to escape it.

It may seem unreal or fake to some people, but for some minds the easiest way to cope with a negative or stressful emotional state is to dive into one’s subconscious and imagination. The reason why is pretty simple. You are free to control everything and everyone in your own head. You are able to picture and make up every landscape, every environment with anyone you would want to be with.

You are free to give yourself a dream life while escaping the difficult truth of reality.

This “ability” can be considered a skill available to anyone willing to expand and develop their imagination. Personally, I have always considered myself to be quite creative and full of imagination, so being able to increase my capability of imagining things has been awfully thrilling through the years. My mind has always been triggered by music. Easily imagining or making up epic battles on action like songs, dance routines on classical music or simply fake scenarios on chill lofi beats. 

I have so many different fake lives, it’s concerning… :/

But it is such a cathartic experience to insert yourself in your favorite universes, with your favorite characters. What’s even better is when you are so into your mind that you can feel things. With time, it happens to me more and more.

Sometimes the smell of freshly baked bread, but mostly the feeling of a warm embrace or lips softly brushing against one another…

That might be why I often have lucid dreams or why I believe in shifting. But those are pansies for another time.

Nevertheless, this dream-like ability can become dangerous to a certain extent. In fact, when the fake scenarios become an obsession, when day-dreaming becomes a daily occurrence, all in all, when all of it becomes too important… Then it becomes a problem. Then it is unhealthy.

Why does this amazing experience have to be so toxic ?

It is a way to cope, to feel good, to relieve stress - for once without the use of anything illegal 👀- but sadly it also disinterests you from reality. Some people can end up resenting even more their real life.

Come to think of it, that’s how addictions work, no ?

I am no one to tell you what to do if you relate to what I’m writing, neither am I judging anyone. Too often do I feel detached from reality because of my will to live in fantasies. It is something I want to work on - most of my pansies are about myself, my thoughts and based on my will to evolve.

So once again, I am no one to judge.

I am someone so obsessed with daydreaming that, when I am feeling down, it literally plagues my days. I only think about when I’ll have alone time to listen to music and continue the scenario where I left off. Or when I’ll be able to read self-insert fanfictions to drown even more in this shameful obsession of the unreal.

All of it fueled by the fear of reality and the tiredness of living.

Too often do I think I would like to eternally dream.

And that’s because I am conscious it has become this unhealthy obsession that I want to work on. I know that on the one hand, I like to make up scenarios because I would like to experience other environments/universes with other people. But on the other hand, I realized it is also because I can be whoever I want to be.

So lately - being in a good mindset - I am on a quest to better myself, to let myself discover who I am, who I want to be and most importantly to let myself take time to heal.

I know this won't be easy, that I won’t drastically stop to escape reality. But now I also know that to make this creative ability healthy, I have to try and find or even make a dream out of reality.

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🔺Original work please do not steal or copy, Thanks.🔺

“Fuck it, we slay” (heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity)