Dear Restless Heart,

Dear restless heart,

Hold on, this will pass;

Time will not stand still

Dear restless heart,

Take it easy;

Allāh sees your struggles

Dear restless heart,

Why do you lose sleep over a temporary matter;

Whilst an everlasting abode of peace awaits you

Dear restless heart,

Persevere;

Struggles do not go unnoticed by your Rabb

Dear restless heart,

Have you no conviction in the promise of Allāh;

That with hardship comes ease

Dear restless heart,

Give up worrying;

Perhaps your patience will be weighty on the scale

Dear restless heart,

Allāh does not test a soul beyond its capability;

Surely you will succeed

Dear restless heart,

But a little remains;

Until all pain will be forgotten

Dear restless heart,

Perish not;

Jannah is your abode

Dear restless heart,

Hold on;

This too shall pass

Dear heart,

Rest.

لا عيش إلّا عيش الاٰخرة

There is no real life besides the life of the hereafter

studying without the struggle to feel good enough. studying with interest and people to talk to when you don’t understand something. people who get lost in those topics with you over a drink or dinner in the evening, in a cozy bar after a day full of productive hours. walks and bycicle rides in the nights and in the early mornings because you spent the night in some shady apartment or club. motivation because you’re all in this together. happiness because it’s worth it. because you’re not alone.

“Memory blurs, that’s the point. If memory didn’t blur you wouldn’t have the fool’s courage to do things again, again, again, that tear you apart.”

— Joyce Carol Oates, from We Were the Mulvaneys (Plume, 1997)

So true. It helps a lot to know we all are in some ways same.

when jenny slate said “many times my own life has been enhanced or even saved by other people who have shown their sorrow in a beautiful and digestible way”

“I missed you in a small way. Tiny enough to fold up and put in my pocket, and carry that loneliness with me everywhere I went. I’d forget all about you, until my hand accidentally brushed against that slip of memory.”

— Unknown

I watched her. The girl whom the world ruthlessly turned into a woman, Sitting with the burden of the world upon her shoulders. She was a mystery that I yearned to unravel, a piece of puzzle that I wished I was a part of. She was something I couldn’t describe, she was an magnet that drew me. I watched her as her oceanic eyes took in her surrounding grasping everything she saw so that when she got back she could ink them, curate a world of her own within those pages. those eyes. Those beautiful eyes which crashed me; the one who believed was on top of the world to the ground. I took my seat besides her, and wondered how fragile she must really be. That night in that moment I saw a girl, one that I have never seen before in all the times I’ve met her. I saw her broken and vulnerable and afraid and hopeless. I saw fear within those eyes that beheld the oceans. And then did I want to protect her from everything. At that moment I wanted to be her shield, her sword, her armor. I wanted to take all the pain and the hurt away from her. I loved her and I wanted her to know. But I was hopeless when it came to her. “What’s it like?” I asked her within the profound silence of twilight. “To be hopeful in the times when there’s certainly no hope?” “It’s like being stuck in darkness” She replied “And believing dawn to be close but dawn is no where close for the night only just began.” She looked at me then. Her ocean blue eyes met mine. Curiosity danced within them and I knew what she was going to ask.“Why do you ask?” She questioned.“Perhaps dawn might be not anywhere close. But there’s light even in darkness” I said instead gesturing towards the moon and the stars that had painted the night sky before us. “The only thing that you need to do is open your eyes to see the light and your heart to feel hope”“What if?” She whispered. Her eyes glued to the night sky. “What if the eyes do not open in fear of losing the light, what if the heart does not feel for it is numb with pain? What if it wants to but fear stops?” “Let go” I said watching the tears escape and fall across her cheeks. “Or let me in” “Let my love be what gives you hope. Let me be what gives you light” “And what if I told you that you’ve given me both and I’m afraid that I shall lose them the moment I lose you?” She asked.“You won’t lose me. As long as I reside within your heart. Even when I’m gone I’ll live within you as long as you keep hoping” I said. A spark of hope ignited within me. I had hope for her. I had hope for the life ahead of me with her. ‘Hope was a dangerous thing to have in love’ they said. But when it came to her I cared less about danger. When it came to her, Hope was all that mattered.