Rimmer: Does Something Stupid

Rimmer: does something stupid

Sephy: I'm gonna kiss him.

Lister: You mean kill him?

Sephy: That too.

They oversaturated Utopia because of Paul Higgins' eyes and you cannot tell me they didn't.

The problem with making the headcanon that Rimmer smells of sandalwood is that I can now no longer smell sandalwood without going feral.

I must now come with a warning that if you smell of sandalwood there is a high chance I will attempt to, at the very least, crawl into your lap.

There is an outtake from season 8 where Craig says, and I quote:

"I think you're gorgeous. I want to run naked through your underwear."

TO CHRIS!

How did I not see this one? STOP WATCHING MY DREAMS! ❤️

Smegtober- Day 4 (Virtual Reality)

TW: Blood/Bodily Harm

He had been made the closest thing he would ever be to human again… The sand on the beach of better than life was rough, coarse in between his fingers as it fell back to the floor with a wet plop. Rimmer grimaced at the noise but reveled in the knowledge he had been the one to make it. He had a physical presence. He was almost flesh. 

Looking to his left, his eyes rested on Lister, his gaze fixated on his neck; a soft patch of the same type of flesh Rimmer was once made out of. He wondered how his skin differed, lingering too long and too close for Lister's comfort. 

He bared his teeth in an awkward smile. Lister knitted his eyebrows together in confusion as a way of response, facing Rimmer with his whole body as he said something the hologram couldn't quite process. The sound stung. It wordlessly echoed in his skull, his ears buzzing with the reverberated twang of Lister's voice. 

Grasping at his shoulders, Rimmer’s Eyes didn't leave his neck as he ran his thumbs across the material of his jacket. He winced at the noise; Polyester was never his favorite. Head sinking down to the shoulder of his bunk mate, Rimmer pulled him into an embrace, clamping onto smooth, human skin with his teeth and drawing blood. Lister shrieked and struggled against his grip. Rimmer did not relent. 

He buried his pearly whites deeper into him, groaning at the taste of sweet copper when he withdrew his fangs, tracing the wound with his tongue. Breath shaking, he savored the feeling of warmth, sticky and thick, in his mouth. 

Lister kicked, forcing Rimmer back into the sand as he scrambled for the exit, dragging The Cat with him. Blood dripped from Rimmer's lips, staining his teeth and chin. Tears fell from his eyes; They were warm and wet against his simulated skin; exhausted, he let his head fall back into the sand, high on coming so close to humanity, his mind still reeling from the taste of real flesh and blood… as real as he could get. 

So ... we're not gonna talk about the way his hand shakes? As if, you know, it fucking hurts?

No?

His final words may have been gazpacho soup, but I still find Rimmer's death scene makes me sad. The radioactive wind is powerful enough to knock him off his feet and push him into Hollister's office. And then seeing his hand falling into shot...😭