Amazing Things Happen - By Alexander Amelines. I Just Found This Gem And I Felt The Need To Spread It

Amazing Things Happen - by Alexander Amelines. I just found this gem and I felt the need to spread it around.

More Stories from Work

Me: *counts out money* and is there anything else I can do for you?

Creepy Guest: The way you count money is sexy.

Me: *does’t even flinch or break from my costumer service mode* Thank you! Now if there is nothing I can do for you, you have a lovely day!

Creepy Guest: *gets sheepish and flees in embarrassment*

Me: *watches and waits until the guest is out of hearing distance before I start cackling*

Ben: *pokes his head up from behind the half wall that hides his desk* You know it’s not normal to take that kind of harassment and then cackle like a super villain?

Me: But it was funny to see him get so thrown and embarrassed, before fleeing. It serves him right for being a creeper.

~

Me: Ben! yesterday Coworker S scared the shit out of me and I made a sound I never had before!

Coworker S: *starts laughing*

Bed: *to Cowoker S* I love how she says that with such cheerful voice.

Me: But it was funny, i never knew I could make such a sound.

~

Manager D: *not paying any attention to where he’s going and is about to collide with me*

Me: Meyah!

Manager D: *stops* What was that?

Me: My early collision warning system

Back To Work Karen

Karen: I didn’t have to do this before.

Me:*not yet murderous and smiling* well it’s become part of our new protocols

Karen: Why?

Me: *still not quite murderous* The powers that be said so.

Karen: But why?

Me:*Now irritated and grateful for my mask* The higher ups made the rule

Karen: I just don’t understand why.

Coworker: It’s become part of our new protocols.

*Cue back and forth Karen going ‘why’ at my brick wall of a coworker as I grow murderous.*

Me: Because the signs says so! *points at the sign right next to her*

Karen: Oh okay *finishes transaction and goes on her way*

Me: Because the fucking sign says so Karen! Just do what your told and fuck off! fuck!

Coworker: I thought you were going to jump the counter, your voice was getting a little high there.

Me: I’m going to murder someone, maybe that basic white bitch with the Pinterest knitted mask. We’re not payed enough to be thrown face first into natural selection like this.

So one of those batfam interferes with a cult ritual where the cult is offering/sacrificing a bride to the King of the Dead to gain his favor but something happens and a batkid ends up in the ritual circle instead stories BUT make it funny

BATFAM AFTER A TIRELESS WEEK OF FIGURING OUT HOW TO GET JASON (Jason? idk we'll go with Jason for this blub) BACK

THE ROOM FLOODS WITH LIGHT AND JASON IS REVEALED IN THE CIRCLE

Jason: ah! What the hell guys?!

Nightwing: we brought you home- what are you wearing

Jason, in beach clothes holding a ectoplasm icee in one hand and his sunglasses in the other while being noticeably tanner and with a giant gemstone ring on his finger: clothes. Why the hell did you guys bring me back?! I was enjoying my vacation

Robin: vacation? You were abducted by a supernatural force for the purposes of a forced marriage to a monstrous entity.

Red Robin: who was it by the way? Hades? Satan?

Jason: Danny.

Jason: *takes loud sip of icee*

Jason: my fiancé's name is Danny but his "ruling name" or whatever is High King Phantom. He's the ghost king.

Batman: that is a more obscure diety than we expected. Did you discover how to break the marriage contract?

Jason: break the marriage contract? Why would I want to do that?!

Robin: because you were abducted.

Jason: yeah but then he cured my pit rage and he's a absolute sweetheart and funny. Now send me back. This is why none of you were invited to my bachelor party which you so rudely kidnapped me from

Batman: no.

Jason: no? Im getting married in two days and none of you are blowing this for me. Send me back or I wont give you any favors once I become queen or consort or whatever I'll be. Let me live out my shitty romance novel dreams

My brain is trying to cha cha slide out of my skull.