My Brain Is Trying To Cha Cha Slide Out Of My Skull.

My brain is trying to cha cha slide out of my skull.

So one of those batfam interferes with a cult ritual where the cult is offering/sacrificing a bride to the King of the Dead to gain his favor but something happens and a batkid ends up in the ritual circle instead stories BUT make it funny

BATFAM AFTER A TIRELESS WEEK OF FIGURING OUT HOW TO GET JASON (Jason? idk we'll go with Jason for this blub) BACK

THE ROOM FLOODS WITH LIGHT AND JASON IS REVEALED IN THE CIRCLE

Jason: ah! What the hell guys?!

Nightwing: we brought you home- what are you wearing

Jason, in beach clothes holding a ectoplasm icee in one hand and his sunglasses in the other while being noticeably tanner and with a giant gemstone ring on his finger: clothes. Why the hell did you guys bring me back?! I was enjoying my vacation

Robin: vacation? You were abducted by a supernatural force for the purposes of a forced marriage to a monstrous entity.

Red Robin: who was it by the way? Hades? Satan?

Jason: Danny.

Jason: *takes loud sip of icee*

Jason: my fiancé's name is Danny but his "ruling name" or whatever is High King Phantom. He's the ghost king.

Batman: that is a more obscure diety than we expected. Did you discover how to break the marriage contract?

Jason: break the marriage contract? Why would I want to do that?!

Robin: because you were abducted.

Jason: yeah but then he cured my pit rage and he's a absolute sweetheart and funny. Now send me back. This is why none of you were invited to my bachelor party which you so rudely kidnapped me from

Batman: no.

Jason: no? Im getting married in two days and none of you are blowing this for me. Send me back or I wont give you any favors once I become queen or consort or whatever I'll be. Let me live out my shitty romance novel dreams

So one of those batfam interferes with a cult ritual where the cult is offering/sacrificing a bride to the King of the Dead to gain his favor but something happens and a batkid ends up in the ritual circle instead stories BUT make it funny

BATFAM AFTER A TIRELESS WEEK OF FIGURING OUT HOW TO GET JASON (Jason? idk we'll go with Jason for this blub) BACK

THE ROOM FLOODS WITH LIGHT AND JASON IS REVEALED IN THE CIRCLE

Jason: ah! What the hell guys?!

Nightwing: we brought you home- what are you wearing

Jason, in beach clothes holding a ectoplasm icee in one hand and his sunglasses in the other while being noticeably tanner and with a giant gemstone ring on his finger: clothes. Why the hell did you guys bring me back?! I was enjoying my vacation

Robin: vacation? You were abducted by a supernatural force for the purposes of a forced marriage to a monstrous entity.

Red Robin: who was it by the way? Hades? Satan?

Jason: Danny.

Jason: *takes loud sip of icee*

Jason: my fiancé's name is Danny but his "ruling name" or whatever is High King Phantom. He's the ghost king.

Batman: that is a more obscure diety than we expected. Did you discover how to break the marriage contract?

Jason: break the marriage contract? Why would I want to do that?!

Robin: because you were abducted.

Jason: yeah but then he cured my pit rage and he's a absolute sweetheart and funny. Now send me back. This is why none of you were invited to my bachelor party which you so rudely kidnapped me from

Batman: no.

Jason: no? Im getting married in two days and none of you are blowing this for me. Send me back or I wont give you any favors once I become queen or consort or whatever I'll be. Let me live out my shitty romance novel dreams

I have no idea if anyone has pointed this out, and I wouldn’t have the balls to post this if my brain wasn’t trying to cha cha slide out of my skull, but how is anyone shocked that Bruce ‘I can’t kill even once or I become a spree killer and maybe an edge lord clown’ Wayne produced the stab happy Damian Wayne. I mean, yeah he was raised by the League, but whenever Bruce kills someone he seems to loose all control and it’s just a blood bath after that. Bruce himself admits that if he killed once he wouldn’t be able to stop. How is it a shock that Damian turned out the way he did. Actually if you think of it, Damian is better in this than Bruce. Damian has killed before and in comics and/or movies where Damian stays with Bruce, he stops killing. Damian has the self control and will where his father doesn’t.

Hello new headcanon. Can we add Pen crashing Owen’s story telling nights and be like, “BROTHER! WILL YOU NOT TELL TALES OF MY MANY HEROIC ACCOMPLISHMENTS?” And Owen can’t like go anywhere because he’s in the middle of a story and there’s no place to hide.

No Pathea really, why the hell aren’t Pen and Owen fraternal siblings with polarizing personalities and Owen speed walking away when he sees Pen in town or ducking behind counters and Pen greeting him with a swish of his cape and a “brOTHER, I REQUEST NOURISHMENT AND REFRESHMENTS” like why don’t we have that?

Christ on a bike it’s been so long. I think I was like 10 and I think it was Inuyasha or Yu-Gi-Oh. I’m 31, oh holy hell, I’ve been in this hole for 21 years, my fanfiction hole can drink alcohol in the US.

so.

i guess fanfiction wasn’t a phase….