I Found This Cool New Thing Called A Subcritical Mass Of Plutonium Precariously Wedged Inside Two Hemispheres

I found this cool new thing called a subcritical mass of plutonium precariously wedged inside two hemispheres of beryllium, wanna try it?

babe are you alright? you didnt even perform highly illegal and unethical experiments today involving horrific amounts of radium, what happened?

I hate the trend of important fossils disappearing into private collections. They belong in a museum, or at least in my lab so I can build them into my new Mechatyrannosaurinator™.

Forget genetically modified cat girls (but we should do that too), let's make genetically modified anime girls! With nanotechnology-laced magical girl Japanese school uniforms/french maid outfits! And holographic stand abilities! And robotic Pokemon!

the superhero just did that thing where they caused my evil facility to self destruct then begrudgingly saved me and carried me to safety 😳😳😳

If you graph badassery against the ability to have sex; the line raises steadily until after the Chuck Noris point where it just drops off a cliff.

I call this the "Erkon Virginity Phenomenon", which describes how extreme badasses stop being able to get laid because women fear their size and/or they’ve transcended the very need for sex. 

This is why I’m still single. Totally.

Evil inator #2: THE GOONER-INATOR!

It's a hypno machine that brainwashes people into becoming my loyal goons! With an army of goons I'll be the unstoppable GOON MASTER!

Why do all my lab assistants keep giggling? GET GOONIFIED! *goon zap*